Clarissa Is A Punk
by reppinda5o3
Summary: C is different. She's in a band. She's covered in piercings & tats. She has a hot girlfriend and is loving life. So what happens when the football team's running back who is also her brother's playboy best friend, decides he wants her after ignoring her for years? Will he get what he desires? Will it turn into more? We'll see. M for language, lemons & dark themes AH/OOC
1. Inappropriate Dream

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Muahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ ** _Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~_**

 ***Chapter Music***

* **The Suicide Machines - Hold On***

 ***Streetlight Manifesto - A Better Place, A Better Time***

 ***T.I. - Swagga Like Us***

 ***Butterfly Boucher - A Bitter Song***

 _ **C POV**_

She wrapped her legs around my neck as I slowly moved my mouth toward her sex. I blew lightly on her lips before grazing my teeth gently up one side and then down the other. I could feel her quiver in anticipation of what would come next.

"Please C," she moaned softly.

"Tell me what you want me to do to you Isabelle," I challenged her.

"Please C...I need you...I need you to make me cum…please"

I slowly licked my way up her slit, pausing at the top to focus on her pulsating nub. I circled my tongue around in a swirling motion, feeling her fingers move into my hair and tighten there. I began sucking on her clit gently and inserted two fingers deep inside her. She tightened the grip her legs had on my neck and upper back. As I plunged my fingers in and out, I began to stroke the wet, hot g-spot inside of her and felt her muscles contract around me. I knew she was getting close.

"Oh God C...oh God...don't stop...I'm gonna cum..."

Her legs started to shake.

BEEP BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP!

...And I woke up from another hot dream about Isabelle Lightwood. This was getting ridiculous. This girl wasn't my type at all. Not the happy, peppy, popular, cheerleader type. Not to mention, she'd been my older brother's girlfriend for the past year. Not a healthy obsession to have obviously, so why couldn't I get her out of my head? I couldn't stop thinking about her long black hair, mysterious dark eyes and stunningly fit body. These dreams were killing me and definitely bringing color to my cheeks every time I saw her. I'd grown up with her, which made the situation that much more ridiculous. I heard a knock at my door and it opened before I could answer.

"Morning Clare Bear. Get your lazy ass out of bed. It's the first day of school and if you don't get up now, you won't be able to paint your face with all that fuckin' black shit you like to cover it in, so get up."

Apparently my cheeks pinked at the sight of Jon too as he poked his head through my door. I really needed to get my shit together. This wasn't fair to him or Aline...but how could I possibly control my dreams?

I snarled low in my throat. "First of all, how many times have I told you not to call me Clare Bear, Jon? I'm not five anymore, I'm seventeen. You can't keep treating me like a baby. Second, that paint as you call it, is eyeliner and third, learn how to wait until someone says enter before you just open the door. I could have been naked," I nearly yelled at my older brother as I chucked a throw pillow from my bed at him.

I loved Jon but sometimes I swore he had no boundaries and it drove me nuts.

"You'll always be my baby sister whether you're a baby or not _Clare Bear_ and if you were changing, you'd lock the door," Jon said with a smirk.

"GET OUT JON!" I screamed as he laughed and shut the door.

Jonathan was born a year ahead of me. He was eighteen and a senior at Roosevelt High. He was also the quarterback and captain of our nearly championship football team. He was 6'2" and insanely muscular with platinum blonde hair and almost black eyes. He was captain of the debate team and Student Body President. He was what most girls at our school referred to as "a panty dropper" which I thought was seriously gross, but after a couple years of being a playboy, he decided he only had eyes for one, Isabelle Lightwood. Isabelle or Izzy, was Captain of the cheerleading squad and was also Jon's Vice President. His best friend was our running back, Jace Herondale, who was probably the school's biggest players and whom I personally couldn't stand to be in the same room with. He was an Adonis, anyone could see that, with golden hair, golden skin and golden eyes. Jace and I faced a complicated relationship or lack of one. He liked to refer to me as sex kitten, and has been calling me that since I was thirteen. The why? Because he was an asshole. Some people, I swear. He also happened to be Izzy's adopted brother. Can't imagine why anyone would want to adopt him, but ya know, I guess at one time, he was an okay guy. Anyway, even though my brother's friends weren't technically my friends, we ended up spending a lot of time around each other for obvious reasons. Jon and I loved each other and he was super protective because he was an amazing brother but as far as siblings go, Jon and I couldn't have been more different.

My name is Clarissa Morgenstern, however almost everyone but my brother and mother call me C. Sometimes people also call me Satan because I have a wicked temper. I'm seventeen, 5'2" and have slightly curly, dyed crimson but naturally red hair with bright emerald green eyes. I have my nose, eyebrow, tongue, lip and belly button pierced with gauged ears as well as two tattoos (I'm working on more). I'm not what most people would consider popular. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of friends but we don't hang out with the popular crowd. I guess the most accurate term for me would be a punk. I'm bisexual and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, Aline, for the past six months. She has shoulder length straight black hair with red tips, a small, tight body and makes me smile every time I hear her voice. My best friends are my rock and brother in all things punk, Alec, his boyfriend, my gay lover and the life of the party, Magnus, and my geeky gamer friend/bandmate Simon who I've known since we met in kindergarten when I stopped him from gluing his mouth shut. Alec is Isabelle's smarter and more down to earth, football playing older brother and as I'm sure you've guessed, that makes him technically also in the same family as Jace, something that these days, we both tend to try and forget. Poor Alec.

Mine and Jon's dad, Valentine, died in a car accident when I was 4 so we have pretty vague memories of him. Our mother, Jocelyn, was an art dealer and gallery owner who painted in her spare time and was barely ever home. My mom got me into art at a young age so I spent a lot of time in our studio in the backyard. Our stepdad, Luke, was our dad's best friend and started dating our mom two years after he died. A year later, they were married and him and mom have been ridiculously happy ever since. Luke's a writer who travels all over the world for research and book tours, so as you can imagine, he's wasn't home much either. We lived in a super nice four story house with five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a basement that has a full bar and a very large pool. We also had a converted pool house turned art studio out back. The fourth story was basically a very large storage space/attic that I turned into my room with it's own separate bathroom. Jon and I did fine on our own, even though our parents were't around much. Jon took care of me and I took care of Jon. We'd been doing it since we were fourteen and fifteen, minus a few bumps in the road but it worked for us. Come on...what teenager could be mad when they had their own credit card, drove a vintage muscle car and could have parties whenever they wanted?

Welcome to my life.

I got out of bed and walked to my personal bathroom, grabbing my towel on the way in. I only got about 10 minutes of hot water because Jon had used most of it doing god knows what, so I shampooed with my cherry vanilla shampoo and conditioner and washed my body as quickly as possible. I hopped out, brushed my teeth and started to get dressed. First I covered my body in a thick cream lotion and spritzed on some of the matching Vera Wang perfume that was my signature scent. I gathered my black lace bra and thong set and put those on. I grabbed and put on a dark blue plaid pleated skirt that fell to my mid thigh, a thick tight white shirt with a black under bust corset vest, calf high black socks, a black tie, my black calf high boots with 5 inch heels and my signature leather cuff wristbands that I never left home without. I then blow dried my hair and put some heat protection spray on before I flat ironed it so it would hang straight down my back and not get frizzy. I put on concealer, dark blue eyeshadow, heavy black eyeliner, thick black mascara and clear lip gloss. One last check in the mirror before I grabbed my studded bag and walked out my bedroom door.

As I descended the stairs, I got a serious glare from Jon. I knew my brother and had been pretty sure this would happen but he should be used to my clothes by now. I did a dramatic twirl because I knew what was coming and wanted to make a good show of it.

"It's the first day of school Clare Bear. Do you have to dress like that? Every one of my friends is gonna be staring at you, not to mention the amount of the student body wanting to get in your pants. You know you're attractive and you're just asking for attention. Do you really wanna start the school year with everyone trying to get at you because I really don't like starting my first day off by having to threaten all my friends to stay away from my little sister," Jon pleaded.

"Jon, I'm wearing a skirt, not pants...and besides, I'm with Aline so no one is going to get anywhere near this. But if you could keep your jackass best friend from annoying the shit out of me, it would be much appreciated," I said as I smiled sweetly at him. Jon couldn't resist my little sister charms for long.

"You know Jace is just messing with you right? He's just doing it to get your attention and you're giving him exactly what he wants," Jon chuckled.

"Whatever. Jace is a grade A douche, a perv and has been ruining my life for what feels like forever. He has been intentionally pissing me off ever since the end of middle school. I hope I don't have any classes with him this year but I highly doubt I'll end up being that lucky."

Jon laughed at me and said, "Let's go Clare Bear. We're gonna be late," while putting his hand on my back and rushing me out the door.

Even though Jon had a sweet Ferrari, we usually drove to school in my vintage 1969 Pontiac GTO that Luke and I had spent a year and a half rebuilding. Since the car was originally painted red, we had gotten mine repainted black and I dubbed it "The Executioner." Of course I added my own personal touch of a guillotine with a skull and crossbones on the side. Hey, what was the use of having mad art skills if you didn't use them, right?

We only lived about 10 minutes away from school if you were driving so it was no time at all before we pulled up in the parking lot. As usual, the Lightwoods and Jace were waiting for us by their convertible with Magnus or Mags as I called him. Maia and Bat, Izzy's best friend and her boyfriend were also leaning up against Bat's car right next to them. I turned off the engine and Jon got out first. Then I exited on my side and walked around to nothing but stares from everyone. I first looked at Izzy who was wearing a crop top white sweater and a short mid thigh black pencil skirt with 6 inch black heels. She was so gorgeous. A slight blush crept it's way into my cheeks as I thought of my dream. Jon walked over and put his arm around her, taking in the view. I then glanced over at Jace, whose mouth looked like it was going to hit the ground. My cheeks pinked a little more. I wasn't sure why everyone looked so surprised. I hadn't done anything that different in the last few days since they had seen me. I decided to blame it on back to school shock.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I looked at C as she exited the car and my jaw just dropped. She looked so hot, my pants got marginally tighter. She was wearing her hair down just like I liked it and her outfit resembled a naughty school girl. I already thought she had a super hot body with what I would've guessed was a 32C cup size, a slim, toned waist and a magnificent ass but I would never admit to her what kind of effect she had on me. Up until a few months ago, we rarely ever spoke or saw each other and when we did, I was either a complete dick or teased her mercilessly. Then something changed. It was almost like she grew up overnight or maybe it's just because I hadn't been paying attention but either way, C Morgenstern was hot. All I know is that since the summer, she nearly made me drool. Jon had been warning me off of her for years, of course all of this was before I noticed her. It made it even hotter that she now played in a band _and_ drove a sexy muscle car which is like every guys wet dream. You'd think she wouldn't even be my type because she wasn't a cheerleader or into sports like the girls I normally went for but even that didn't matter at this point. All I could think about in that moment was how much I wanted to bend her over her sweet ride and take her right there. Instead, I just stood there and stared. Now I was a guy so I could admit that I thought a lot about sex and being a football player, I definitely saw a lot of action but there was a lot more to me wanting C than just wanting C. She was forbidden fruit partially caused by our sordid history but I was a firm believer that the past was the past and if it weren't for the other two obstacles in my path, I would have been determined to show that to her. Those other two obstacles came in the form of C's overprotective brother and my best friend Jon who would probably murder me and there was the tiny fact that C was a lesbian. The overall lack of possibility did not stop me from thinking about getting in her pants though. Obviously, I had some conflicting feelings when it came to her. I had a feeling that this school year would make my life complicated and I was right.

 _ **C POV**_

Alec looked at Jace and said, "Hey Jace, roll your tongue back up and close your mouth. You might catch flies."

"Jace, don't make me hurt you dude. You're my best friend but that's my sister bro. No contest," Jon seethed with his teeth clenched.

Jace closed his mouth and just continued to stare at me. He then swallowed hard and said, "I was just shocked, Jon. I would never let Izzy leave the house in something like that."

"I'm right here, dick and I will leave the house in whatever clothes I want. Besides...Jon doesn't seem to mind."

"That's because Jon is fu-"

"And we're done children. Biscuit, you look hot. Aline better keep you on her arm cuz you are serious eye candy, girl. How was the rest of your summer? I haven't seen you since your party last weekend. Alec and I were starting to get worried when you were turning down our offers to hang out," Magnus said with a concerned look on his face.

"Thanks Mags. It did seem like Jon almost wasn't gonna let me leave the house this morning. I'm sorry I haven't been able to hang out. I've been getting ready for my art show next weekend. I have to have three new pieces finished before then if I'm going to open the show. Plus, you know, band practice with Simon, Matt, Eric and Kirk."

"If anyone's got it covered, it's you C. I know you can do it. Your work is amazing. I just wish you would show it off to your friends a little more," Alec hinted with a big smile on his face.

"You got this Clare Bear. I know you've got one done and have started on the second. You'll finish on time," Jon said encouragingly.

"The problem is I have no inspiration for my third piece. I swear I've painted and sketched my heart out and at this point, I feel like I've got nothing left."

"I'd be happy to be your nude model, sex kitten. Just say the word and all my clothes will come off. It will be the best experience of your life," Jace interjected while wagging his eyebrows at me.

"Jaaaccceee..." Jon growled with a serious, angry face.

"God Jace, you're such a pig. I don't want you as my nude model even if you do have a nice body. Not everyone is interested in what you have to offer."

 _Did I just say Jace has a nice body? Serious slip of the tongue._ _I must be losing it._

"So you do notice how hot I am. Good to know, sex kitten. Let me know if you and Aline want to take advantage," Jace said with a wink.

"I'm one hundred percent sure that would never happen. Anyway...I signed up for independent art this year so hopefully I will get inspired there. Mr. Allgood is an amazing teacher even though he can be a bit spacey. I'm sure he can get the creative juices flowing," I said. "What did everyone do with the rest of their summer?"

"Well, Mags and I went to his parent's house in Cape Cod for a few days at the beginning of the week but they started driving us nuts so we came back," Alec offered.

"Maia and I have been coming up with new routines for cheer squad and I've also been writing my speech to hopefully get re-elected for VP of the student council again this year," Izzy sighed happily.

"I'm sure you'll get it again this year Iz. You've held the position for the past two years and won by a landslide. I think you've got it in the bag," I assured her while trying not to blush.

"Bat, what's up with you?"

"You know...helping Freaky Pete out in the tattoo shop. He's got some new guy in there that's a terrible artist and I've been helping him out until this guy finishes out his apprenticeship. I'm gonna be working there permanently so I'm your go to guy. Sounds like we have Independent Art together this year though which should be cool," Bat proclaimed excitedly.

"Yeah that should be chill. Speaking of ink, I really would like to stop by The Freaky Shack tomorrow and work on my back piece. I know my mom isn't home but you and Freaky Pete both know I have her consent and Jon doesn't care so I was hoping we could continue where we left off."

"You know we got you C. Don't worry about it. Just be there as soon as you can after school because knowing you, my hand will cramp before you're ready to stop and I only got so many hours to be there before I gotta get home to work on school work. Also, don't forget to bring your design with you." Bat was an amazing artist and he took an apprenticeship last year to be a tattoo artist so he would have an outlet. He wasn't much for painting but the guy could draw like no other, especially with a tattoo gun in his hand.

"Alright ladies and gents, I know we all had an amazing summer and we aren't excited to get back to school but the first bell is about to ring in 10 minutes and we all need to get our schedules, our books and find our locker assignments before we get to class," Izzy warned in a motherly fashion as she headed toward the front doors of the school.

We all followed closely behind her and walked up the steps of Roosevelt High to start the beginning of another year. We headed to the office and grabbed our schedules, books and locker assignments from Mrs. Pantheon, the school secretary. My schedule for the semester ended up being AP English, Pre Calculus, Spanish and Independent Art. After comparing mine with Alec and Mags, coming to the realization that we had a class together a piece, I walked down the hall and to my locker. I saw my girlfriend standing right next to it and thanked heaven because that meant her locker was right next to mine. We seemed to be right across from Simon who was grabbing his books and waved at me. I held my finger in front of my lips to tell him to be quiet so I could sneak up on Aline. Aline was just stashing her bag but wasn't facing me. She was wearing tight black leather pants, her usual black converse and a crimson halter top that I knew made her B cup breasts look amazing. I went up behind her, wrapped my arms around her waist and moved her hair out of the way. I started trailing soft kisses down from behind her ear to her collarbone and felt her shiver.

"Mmm...Hey baby, I was wondering when you were going to show up. Si and I waited outside for you but we figured we better go grab our schedules and locker assignments before the halls got too crazy. You know how it is on the first day of school. I missed you though." She turned in my arms and looked at me, holding onto my shoulders and moving back so she could really let her eyes slowly look me up and down. "Oh my god, you look so hot today. We might have to find an empty classroom later so I can take advantage of that very short skirt you're wearing."

"Well, I just so happen to think my girlfriend looks very sexy as well. You know how I feel about your ass in tight leather. I just couldn't wait to do this," I said before locking my lips with hers and holding her to me while my hands roamed feverishly over her torso. I moved my tongue over her bottom lip, begging entrance to her mouth. She opened to me and our tongues danced together, fighting each other for dominance. Glancing over, I could see Jace looking at us with lust in his eyes. I broke apart from Aline so I could confront him.

"What the fuck are you staring at jerk off? Go find something productive to do with your extra time, like maybe go to class," I snarled.

"Oh but the view from here is so much nicer than anything I could see in class," he shot back.

"It's the first day and you've already succeeded in making it suck." I turned to Aline and said, "Babe, I'm gonna go to class so I can get a good seat and so I can avoid further encounters with this asshole as much as possible." I kissed her again lightly and turned to Simon. "Bye Si, see you later" as I waved and walked down the hall to AP English.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I grabbed my schedule, books and locker assignment from Mrs. Pantheon and spent a few minutes comparing it to Alec, Izzy, Bat, Maia and Jon's. I had every class with at least one of them except AP English first period. I walked down the hall, quickly found my locker and shoved my bag inside. After grabbing my notebook, I continued down the hall. On my left side, I noticed C holding Aline and making out with her right there in the hallway. All I could do was stop and stare. I immediately felt myself get semi hard just standing there. What teenage boy wouldn't want to watch two lesbians make out? God, what was this girl doing to me? And now it wasn't just her but her and Aline rubbing their hands all over each other and kissing passionately in the hallway across from me. I was brought out of my thoughts by the glare I was receiving from C.

"What the fuck are you staring at jerk off? Go find something productive to do with your extra time, like maybe go to class," she snapped at me.

"Oh but the view from here is so much nicer than anything I could see in class" I said lowering my voice to a husky groan without meaning to.

"It's the first day and you've already succeeded in making it suck." She suddenly looked back at Aline and said, "Babe, I'm gonna go to class so I can get a good seat and so I can avoid further encounters with this asshole as much as possible," and she moved her head in my direction as if to indicate who she was talking about.

"Bye Si, see you later" she said to the boy in front of me before taking off down the hallway to head to her first class. I always disliked Simon but he was always around because of his close friendship with C and since I spent so much time at their house because of my close friendship with Jon, whenever C was around and not with Alec, Simon was always on my radar. Maia, Izzy's best friend and co-captain on the cheer squad, said she thought he was nerd hot but I always thought he looked more like a rat than anything else. I glared at him and he shouted "I'll see you later Aline" over his shoulder while taking off as if he thought I was going to hit him. Aline pulled me back out of my head with her very stern words.

"Jace, you have got to stop with all the staring and asking if you can have a threesome with us bullshit. We are females in a relationship. It works just the same as a relationship between a guy and a girl, only the parts are different. It doesn't mean that we need some guy ogling us all the time. We have each other, we don't need a giant dick moving in on us," Aline complained while grabbing her books.

"Ah, but a giant dick is exactly what I want to give both of you and I'm so glad you noticed," I said with a smirk. She left herself wide open on that one and I just couldn't resist. "Obviously the difference in parts is what makes the whole thing so intriguing."

"Whatever Jace. I'm a lesbian so I don't want your dick, giant or not and as far as C is concerned, even though she's not, she's with me and won't be going anywhere near that. All you're doing is succeeding at making her hate you more than she already does. Everything you say pisses her off and honestly, I'm surprised Jon hasn't beaten your ass yet for the things you say to her. It can't make him happy that his best friend is constantly trying to get his sister into bed with him and it doesn't make me happy either," she scolded.

"Wait...C isn't a lesbian?" For the short time that I'd been paying attention, I'd had dreams of converting her but she really _already_ liked guys and _wasn't_ interested in me? That just seemed ridiculous, even given past events. At the back of my mind, I would always know why though, i just chose not to acknowledge it. Not that I could have done anything without Jon finding out but some things might've been worth getting killed for.

"That's what you got out of that? God you are such a douche, Jace. No wonder she can't stand you. I've gotta get to class. Just stay away from her, okay?" and with that, she walked off.

 _So she doesn't know. Hmmmm_

I knew I had pissed Aline off but I couldn't really care less at that moment. She was nothing to me. Just C's hot girlfriend and there were plenty of hot girls without me having to care what Aline thought of me. I supposed I should have cared because she was with C and right now, I wanted C, but she was technically just another girl and C and I weren't friends. All I wanted to think about was that C wasn't a lesbian. I slowly continued down the hallway but couldn't really pay attention. I kept seeing C in that short skirt with those high heeled boots and thought I might actually have a chance. I could've had any girl in the school that I wanted but suddenly, that didn't seem to make much of a difference. There was all the shit that'd gone down over the years and then there was Jon. No passing GO and no collecting $200 as long as he was my best friend. But we always want what we can't have right? Yeah, that had to be it. I wanted her so much because I enjoyed the challenge and she was one of the only girls in the school I hadn't had the pleasure of hearing scream my name. I just needed a distraction. Something to get my mind off of her. I was so deep in thought that I walked right into something that brought me up short. I felt small arms wrap around my waste and looked down.

"Hey Jacie, I haven't seen you in a couple days. I thought you were gonna call me so we could get together. I thought we might be able to make each other forget the first day of school blues," she said while fluttering her eyelashes at me.

 _Cringe_

"Kaelie. I've been busy the past couple days. You know how it is. I'd love to get together today though. We can make the first day of school a memorable one," I said seductively.

"Mmm...I don't know if I want to wait until after school. I might just catch up with you later and we can see if we can sneak off somewhere," she said as she put her finger on my fly and dragged it down painfully slowly. I felt a stirring in my jeans. She then kissed me, taking me by surprise and continued down the hallway. I didn't do the kissing thing and I was about ready to to shout after her not to do it again but then I turned and noticed she was wearing a tiny white tube top and a very short light blue skirt that barely covered her ass. I could also see her white thong peeking out over her hips. My words died on my tongue. God, what I was going to do to her later. I turned back around and headed to my first class. I approached the door just as the first bell rang and as I was walking in, the first thing to catch my eye was a little red headed sex kitten looking down at a sketchbook at the back of the room. First period was going to be fun for the next few months.

 _ **C POV**_

I got to my first period class and walked to a seat at the back. Hardly anyone was here yet and the first bell hadn't even rung. I sat down, pulled out my charcoal and sketchbook and began to draw a picture of Aline. The first bell finally rang and I had just gotten her eyes perfect. All of the sudden the air moved around me and I felt someone sit in the desk next to me and crane their neck so they could see what I was drawing. I looked up into Jace's molten gold eyes staring deep into mine. It was going to be a very long year.

 _ **Don't Forget To Review!**_


	2. It's A Fine Line

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Muahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ ** _Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~_**

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Allister - Live Fast Die Young***

 ***The Get Up Kids - Don** **'** **t Hate Me***

 ***Against Me! - David Johansen** **'** **s Soul***

 ***Bad Religion - Better Off Dead***

 _ **Jace POV**_

I was lost. I had never been close enough or really cared to get a good look at C's eyes before but they were like emeralds. Deep green with little flecks of gold. Her gaze was penetrating, like she could see through to my soul. That was unnerving but for some reason, I just couldn't look away. I stared into them and they just made me want her more. They were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

 _Did I just call her eyes beautiful? Shit, I am really losing my grip here._

I was snapped out of my reverie by the sound of C's voice.

"Hello! Earth to Jace. Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Um…Your makeup is smeared and I was just trying to figure out the best way to bring it up," I stammered quickly.

"Okay?" She looked confused as she wiped underneath her eyes quickly. "Well, why are you in AP English? I didn't exactly take you for the advanced course type. You always seemed like more of a slacker to me. You know...the kind of person that gets people to do their homework for them. Actually I think I heard a few stories about people doing your homew-"

"Don't believe everything you hear, sex kitten," I interrupted, sounding a little pissed. "Jace Herondale never backs down from a challenge...and besides, English is one of my best subjects."

"I don't think I've ever met a guy that considered English to be one of his best subjects. Not to be sexist or anything. It's just all the guys I know are pretty bad at it. I did the Alicante Tutorial Program last year as one of the English tutors and every single person in there was a guy. I even help Jon with his English homework," she stated matter-of-factually.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me, sex kitten, but I know a good way you can find out," I said with a wink, trying to recover some of my lost control.

"You're such a prick…and how many times have I told you to stop calling me sex kitten?" I'm sure C would have yelled at me had the second bell not gone off at that exact moment and our teacher, Mr. Gray, hadn't walked in.

"Alright class, time to get started. The first thing I would like to do is welcome you back for another year. I hope you enjoy. Second, I'd like to remind you all that this is AP English which means that this class will not be easy. You all are used to taking regular English courses which consist of about a third of the work we will be doing in this class. Be prepared because if you are not ready for this then you should go to the office now and drop this in favor of something else you can handle. The good news is this course is worth six college credits so the work will be worth it if you can keep up. Third, we will be reading thirty books this semester so settle in for a good chunk of the class to be spent reading and doing various projects that revolve around the material you've read. And last, we will be doing a lot of group projects this semester. The person sitting next to you will be your partner for the whole time, so get to know them because there will be no changing seats. I suggest you work out an outside of school study schedule so that you can make sure that you are able to complete all assignments on time. A ten percent grade reduction will apply for everyday your assignment is late. This applies to both partner and personal work. Now, our first book will be Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. This is a partner project. I will pass out the books and since today is the first day, we will spend the rest of the period reading. You will need to read the whole book over the next four days and then on Friday, you will start writing a two thousand word essay paper on one of the characters explaining their significance to the story, how they would survive in the world today, how you and your partner are similar/dissimilar to that character and how their survival in the real world relates to your survival in the real world. Please arrange to get with your partner over the weekend as you will not be able to finish on Friday in class and your paper will be due Monday first thing."

We received our books from Mr. Gray. Wow, this class was going to be intense. On the bright side, since I had sat down next to C, I would be working with her for the whole semester. If she knew I had planned it that way just so I could get closer to her, she would have murdered me. She didn't look very happy about it but I was becoming more and more optimistic that I could change her mind.

 _ **C POV**_

Jace had been staring at me like he was totally lost in thought, although I can't imagine what had been going on in that empty head of his. He was probably thinking about which girl he was going to screw next and was just staring off into space. Then he kind of surprised me by getting all defensive when I suggested that he would be the kind of person who would have someone do their homework for them. Weird. Just when I thought I couldn't be more confused by our conversation being halfway normal, he went back to being a grade A douche as usual and I felt like screaming at him. That was until Mr. Gray stopped me by walking into the room. He started to explain the syllabus for AP English and I started to get excited about all the books we would get to read during the semester. Then I found out I would be working with Jace until the class was finished and my stomach dropped. Just what I needed. I looked over at him and he looked smug as fuck but of course, I was dreading it. He was probably reveling in all the ways he would get to torture me this semester. Maybe I should drop the class? No, I wasn't gonna let working with Jace screw me out of earning college credit. I would just suck it up and be an adult. He was over at our house quite a bit anyway. I could handle it for a semester. And our first book was Pride and Prejudice which I'd already read many times so it seemed like a pretty easy way to start out. Mr Darcy, my brother and Alec, the three men I could count on in my life.

I looked over at Jace, "Alright douche, listen to me. We're stuck working together for the whole semester so I expect you to pull your weight. We do everything together fifty-fifty. You're always at my house or I'm at yours anyway so it should be fairly simple. You just need to stay on task. I won't have you messing up my chances for college credit. I'm one of the only juniors in this class and I don't take that lightly. We can work at my house this weekend. My parents will be gone, as usual. We have our annual back to school party on Saturday night which I'm sure you're coming to but I think Jon has a date with Izzy on Sunday so we should be able to work in peace then without you getting distracted. Oh yeah, and you are not allowed to call me sex kitten anymore from today forward, I'm sick of it. This is serious shit and I won't have you fucking off," I said sternly hoping that for once in his stupid life, he actually took me seriously.

"Understood, sex kitten," Jace purred as he opened his book and started reading.

I scowled at him but he was already too into his book to notice. I delved into my own book and thought I kept seeing Jace glancing at me but then figured it had to just be my imagination. He had no reason to be looking at me and I certainly didn't want him to. I had enough of guys to last me a lifetime after Sebastian. Being with girls was just easier and Aline was what was currently making me happy.

Before I knew it, the bell had rung and class was over. I must have lost myself in thought because it seemed I had only made it to page ten of my book in a little over an hour. I looked down and realized I had unconsciously been holding onto my leather cuff and let go. I looked up just in time to see Jace grab his copy of Pride and Prejudice and his notebook. He then actually said, "Later, C" and nearly ran out the door. I was in such a daze, I nearly forgot to gather my things before heading out the door myself.

 _Jace actually called me C. Not sex kitten, but C. This day was becoming a little too much for the first day of school._

I headed to my locker where I saw Aline standing, getting together the books she would need for her next class. I snuck up behind her again and snaked my arms around her, placing light kisses along her shoulder. I noticed a pre calculus book in her hand and got so excited that we had at least one class together that all I could do was nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck and squeeze her tightly to me. She hummed in pleasure, turned around and placed her arms on top of mine.

"Babe, if you keep doing that, we'll never get to class. If you want to take me up on my earlier offer to find an empty classroom, I'm down but if not, you gotta stop messing with me. I don't think I can take it."

"I'm sorry, babe. We really should get to class. We can take care of you later. I'm just excited because we have pre cal together and after realizing I have first period with Jace for the whole semester and he has to be my partner, I needed something to cheer me up. I think Jon and Mags are in it too if I remember right from looking at their schedules earlier," I buzzed.

"Really? You have Jace as a partner for AP English for an entire semester?" she asked incredulously. "I'm so sorry babe. I know how much he gets under your skin. Actually, I know how much he gets under most people's skin."

"Yeah, well it wouldn't be so bad if that was the only thing he wanted to get under," I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Anyway...I'm not gonna stress about it. I'm not afraid to hit him if he gets out of line and as long as he does his share of the work, I don't think we'll have too many issues. Come on, we better get to class."

And with that, we walked off to pre cal. When I walked in the door, I was surprised to see Simon already sitting in a desk toward the back. I grabbed a seat next to him, Aline close behind me and we waited for everyone else to show up. I hate math; I'm not the best and actually have to work at it, unlike the rest of my classes so second period was really long and boring. At least I got to sit surrounded by my brother, my girlfriend and my friends. Even though Mr. Blackwell was normally an asshole like most of the math teacher/baseball coaches in our school, he didn't give us much work or any homework on the first day so after we finished, we spent most of the class talking about party plans for Saturday. Morgenstern parties were legendary. We always had our annual BTS party the weekend after school started. Bat's best friend Mark is a really good DJ so he always came and spun for us, plus he's one of the only ones old enough to stock us with alcohol. Mine and Simon's band, The Mortal Instruments, always played a few sets as well as kind of practice for our paying gigs. Mags was always in charge of planning. He's a genius when it comes to getting parties together so we always let him have free reign and hoped our house didn't end up covered in glitter. It was going to be amazing this year and bittersweet since it would be Jon's last before heading off to college. I was really gonna miss him.

Eventually the bell rang and I ran to my locker to drop off my stuff from pre cal and grab my Spanish book. I kissed Aline, coordinated band practice with Simon for Wednesday after school, asking him to let Eric, Matt and Kirk know and ran off to Spanish. I knew Mrs. Pangborn always used assigned seating in her class because I had her for Spanish for the last two years so I walked up to the board and looked at the seating chart. I checked to see where I was sitting and let out a little cry of victory when I saw I was sitting in the back of the classroom. She had notoriously bad breath and no one wanted to be anywhere near it. I felt someone come up behind me to also check the seating chart but didn't turn around. In here, we sat at two person tables rather that at desks. I checked to see who was assigned to sit next to me and my excitement promptly ended when I saw my table buddy for the whole semester was none other than my mortal enemy, Jace Herondale. I at least perked up a little bit when I saw Alec was going to be sitting at the table in front of us with his friend Julian. I turned around quickly and almost fell backward as gold eyes locked on my green. I inhaled sharply as I realized our lips were literally centimeters apart.

"Hey C. Guess it's our lucky year," he whispered close to my ear so only I could hear. I could feel his hot breath on my face. Our bodies were nearly touching. He smelled like mint, spice and another scent I couldn't quite identify but was uniquely Jace. I hadn't been this close to him in a very long time. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't blind. I knew he was an attractive guy. Very attractive to almost a God like fault. Beautiful and chiseled in all the right places. Though I wasn't going to let him know that because of the parts that I couldn't stand about him the most...the fact that he was the most self-centered, selfish and cold person I had ever met. He wasn't always that way though. He was adopted by the Lightwoods when he was ten and we had actually been friends for the first few years. I even had a slight crush on him for a little while although I don't think he ever knew it. Then the summer before he became a freshman, everything changed. Him and Jon had been working out a lot and they both had buffed up for football. He got even more attractive, started hooking up with a whole bunch of girls and became a total asshole. I was going into the eighth grade so neither one of them really wanted to hang out with me anymore, but Jace and Jon were insistent that I was cramping their style. It hurt, a lot. But the last straw was when Jon had a pool party for his birthday and invited the whole football team. My parents, once again, weren't home and I decided to stay inside because Sebastian and I had secretly started dating and I knew I'd give it away if I had to pretend like we weren't a couple in front of everyone. Jon ended up making me come outside to say hi anyway. Jace came up behind me, lifted me up and threw me in the pool when I was wearing a white t-shirt and only a white t-shirt when almost the entire football team, including Sebastian, were watching. I got out of the pool and ran inside crying. I locked myself inside my room and didn't come out for the rest of the night. From then on, When Jace and I were around each other, things escalated quickly. I avoided him and Jon like the plague as much as I could. I couldn't bring myself to forgive him, even now. Not just for the pool party incident but for the host of other things that I couldn't even put into words if I tried. He recently decided that it was a good time to start paying attention to me but by that point, I've hated him for too long for any attention he would pay me now to matter. He's been hitting on me since June, but I'm with Aline and refuse to be anyone's conquest. Regardless, I just can't trust him, not after what he did and what he didn't do and certainly not after what happened with Sebastian. I'm not some weak girl anymore but at the time, that wrecked me, more than anyone will ever know.

I put out my hands and pushed Jace back so that I could move around him and walked to the back of the room to our table with him hot on my heels. I sat down and placed my book on the desk while Jace took the seat next to me.

"This is not going to be a good year," I grumbled to myself while resting my head in my hands.

Not two minutes later, Alec and Julian walked in together and I waved them over, indicating where they were sitting. Alec came and kissed me on the cheek before asking if I was okay and I told him I was. I knew he didn't believe me but I was grateful that he temporarily let it go. I knew we'd be having a talk about it later. He was one of the only two people who knew nearly everything about me and the only person who knew because I chose to share the information. It was my first day back and it seemed everything was already falling apart. I made a conscious decision at that moment to not let anything get to me. I didn't want Alec to feel like he had to pick up the pieces.

We spent the whole period working on a Spanish vocabulary worksheet in complete silence. I swore I could still feel Jace's eyes on me so I would peek at him out of the corner of my eye only to see him working on his vocabulary as if everything was completely normal. Damn my imagination. This was seriously turning into a very long day. At least we had lunch after this and then I got to lose myself in independent art for an hour and a half. I knew that would make me feel better and probably be exactly what I needed to get working on the last piece for my art show.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I nearly ran out of AP English in a kind of daze. I hadn't gotten as far in Pride and Prejudice as I'd expected despite having a little over an hour to read because I kept sneaking peeks at C. She had such full, gorgeous pink lips that I just wanted to feel up against mine. Surprisingly, the lip ring didn't bother me at all. Angel, she was so sexy. I kept looking at the skin on her creamy thighs as her skirt would ride up when she'd readjust herself in her seat. Every time, my pants would get just a little bit tighter as I wondered what she was wearing underneath.

 _When was it exactly that hate and ignorance turned into downright lust? I never thought I'd say this but seriously fuck bikinis_

I had to get out of there as soon as the bell rang. I wasn't sure if she had seen me looking and I really wanted to avoid that awkward conversation. She couldn't know how much I had actually been thinking about her recently. I refused to give her the power. I was really starting to be concerned for myself. I had to find a distraction and quick.

I walked to my locker and stuffed in my copy of Pride and Prejudice as well as my notebook. All of the sudden I felt small arms wrap around my waist and even though I knew it was stupid and I had to stop that shit, I couldn't help but hope it was C that was touching me.

 _What the hell is wrong with me? I've never wanted a girl like this. It has to be the fact that I can't have her. Yeah,_ _that's gotta be it. What Jon doesn't know won't hurt him, right? I know she's with Aline but what guy doesn't wanna hook up with two lesbians? Wait. Could Aline be right that C is bi? I've only ever seen her with chicks. Hmmm…_ _i_ _'ll have to ask Jon later without sounding like I'm too interested. Don't wanna piss him off by making him think I'm into his sister._

I was interrupted from my inner monologue by a finger slowly moving down toward my zipper. It didn't take much of that to make me stand at attention since I was already half hard. I immediately turned around and saw that it was Kaelie in all her glorious hotness who had made me stiffen.

 _Just the distraction I was looking for_

Kaelie was interesting to say the least. I didn't want to call her a slut because even though I hooked up with a lot of girls and was called much worse, I still didn't like to refer to girls that way, even though I had on occasion but she definitely got around and was always up for a good time. Kaelie and her best friend Seelie were both on the cheerleading squad so naturally, their specialty was the guys on either the football or basketball team but they weren't really picky. I knew probably at least 20 guys who claimed to had slept with either or both of them. These were not the kind of girls you fucked around with, without protection. Not that I would ever do that in a million years anyway. Can't have any new little Herondales running around and I certainly didn't wanna pick up any sort of disease. They were joined by Casey, Amber, Tiffany, Brittany, Ginger, Lindsay and a few other girls I'm sure I'm forgetting. These girls loved to get really wasted at parties and sleep with the first guy who'd fuck them. They also really got into each other when they were drunk. Kaelie and Seelie ended up being my first threesome which had been serious bragging rights for a good year after it happened since I was a freshman at the time.

As Kaelie held onto me, she was staring down at my cock like she wanted to take it out right there in the hallway and fuck me. That just made me even harder and I tried to put all thoughts of C out of my head in favor of how good it would feel right now to just bury myself in the girl in front of me.

"Jacie, do you want to skip this period and go find a place where we can hang out?"

Despite the almost physical pain I felt at the nickname, I didn't even have to think about it. I just had to find Alec because I knew I had history with him next period and I needed him to cover for me. I told Kaelie as much and made it clear that she should meet me in the empty auditorium in ten minutes. She agreed and I ran off to locate Alec. I found him talking to Magnus and his friend Julian at his locker. I explained my predicament to him and asked him if he would cover for me in class and grab any homework I needed.

"You know what dude, one of these days, your dick is just gonna fall off. I hope you get all your random hookups in while you can," Alec scolded in his best fatherly voice.

"Let him be Alec. He'll learn soon enough that life is about more than hot bodies and sex with the school sluts. Eventually he'll want a relationship with someone special," Magnus chimed in.

I dismissed both of their comments and headed off to the auditorium to meet up with Kaelie. Jace Herondale didn't do relationships. She was just inside the door so I grabbed onto her hand and led her up to the balcony. She immediately got down on her knees, unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. She then pulled down my boxers, springing me free and wrapped her hand around my shaft before taking me into her mouth. I bit my bottom lip and sucked in a breath. I kept my eyes closed as she was swirling her tongue around my head and all I could think was how I wished it was C down there with her hot mouth and sexy full lips wrapped around my cock.

S _top! You've got to stop. A hot girl is giving you a blowjob. This is no time for thinking!_

I put my hands in Kaelie's hair and started moving my hips so she would take me deeper into her mouth until she was gagging. I could tell Kaelie didn't appreciate it but I was almost on the edge.

"Kaelie, stop. I'm gonna cum and I really want to fuck you," I breathed barely, roughly.

I helped her up and hiked up her skirt. I ducked down, moved her tiny panties to the side and plunged a digit inside her. She was already so wet. I added another digit and began moving my fingers in and out of her. When I felt her muscles begin to tighten, I slowly pulled my fingers out. I then turned her around so I could admire her ass and pulled down that sexy white thong she was wearing. She grabbed onto the balcony railing for purchase and put one leg up on some case over to her left while I grabbed a condom out of my pocket, ripped open the foil and rolled it on. I entered her from behind with my long, thick manhood and heard her gasp at the sensation. We moved together, me holding onto her waist to steady her. I kept my eyes closed because despite what I told myself, I still couldn't help but want it to be C that I was ramming my cock in and out of but either way, it was relief and it felt great. I sensed her walls starting to tighten and heard her say she was about to cum. Not a minute later, she screamed my name and as I heard it echo through the empty auditorium, I couldn't hold on any longer. My orgasm followed right behind hers. It took us both a moment to come down from the high and I could still feel her muscles spasming around me. I pulled out of her and heard her wince at the feeling. I removed the condom, tied it off in a knot and stuck it in my pocket after doing up my pants.

As much as I enjoyed fucking Kaelie, fucking anyone really, I certainly didn't have any desire to hang out with her so I used my natural charm and excused myself so I could head off to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. It was necessary to be cautious roaming the halls after skipping class because of Beef, our campus security guard so I ended up spending the rest of second period listening to my iPod in my car. When I heard the bell ring for class to end, I made my way back inside and met up with Alec to grab my homework.

"You're lucky you're my brother and I love you, douche. Here's your homework."

He acted like I'd put him out but I knew he didn't really have a problem lying for me. He'd been doing it at home with Robert and Maryse for years. I took my assignment, made my way back to my locker and grabbed my Spanish book. When I entered the Spanish classroom, I couldn't believe my eyes. I saw none other than C up at the board checking out the seating chart with her back to me. I crept up behind her and stood as close as I could without actually touching her. I could see over her shoulder that we were sitting next to each other again and thought about how the world was on my side. I actually had to work to keep a smirk on my face instead of it turning into a smile. She then turned around and her lips were so close to mine that they were almost touching. I could hear her intake of breath and I just couldn't stop staring into her eyes. She stared back into mine. After a couple moments, I realized what I was doing. This seriously needed to stop. She'd already caught me staring at her twice today. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Hey C. Guess it's our lucky year," I whispered to her.

She didn't respond but after a moment, put her hands on my chest to move me back from her and walked around me. I followed her over to our table and sat down next to her. The next thing I knew, her head was in her hands and she was muttering something under her breath. Alec and Julian came in a couple minutes later and she waved them over. Alec leaned down next to her, gave her a kiss on the cheek and whispered something to her that I couldn't hear.

 _Why does Alec get to kiss her and I can't? Kissing isn't all I want to do to her though. Really Jace…really? Come the fuck on already. You don't kiss anybody, which reminds me, I need to have a conversation with Kaelie about that shit_

I sat there just staring. I was having irrational jealousy for my own brother, who I'm almost positive was gay. For a girl who I shouldn't even be lusting after and who I still didn't know whether she even liked guys or not. My life was spinning out of control and we'd barely made it through half of the first day.

We sat through the rest of class in silence, converting words from Spanish to English on worksheets. Thank the Angel lunch came after this and then one more class before the day was over. I could handle that, right?

 _ **Don't Forget To Review!**_


	3. Even Crap Days Can Have Happy Endings

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Muahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ ** _Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~_**

 _ **I just want to take a moment to thank all the people who have followed, faved and taken the time to review my story so far.**_

 _ **I have received some reviews and PMs concerned about the personalities of my characters as well as asking if this is really a story about our two favorite heroes. I assure you it is. The story is definitely told from their point of view. You will just have to hang on to find out what happens with them. I know this is a different Clary and Jace than people are used to. I intend to make this story quite long so you will see a lot of character personality development throughout.**_

 _ **Please continue to review and let me know what you think. I hope you all enjoy!**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Face To Face - It's Not All About You***

 ***Sharon Van Etten - We Are Fine***

 ***Lit - Miserable***

 ***The Grouch - Breath***

 ***Bouncing Souls - Manthem***

 _ **C POV**_

Finally the bell rang to signal the end of Spanish. I just couldn't take the silence anymore. The tension was so thick I could cut it with a knife. I picked up my book and started to walk out of class.

"Hey C! I gotta go drop my book off at my locker, grab some food and then if I don't see you in there, I'll just meet you in the courtyard, okay?" I knew Alec was trying to be supportive and I loved him for it. Normally he would've just met me outside with everyone else but taking the time out to let me know where he would be was in case I freaked out because I needed him and couldn't find him. He seriously is the best friend anyone could ask for which was exactly why I couldn't make a big deal of how shitty I felt my day had been so far. This was nothing and I couldn't let him think I was gonna have a meltdown over something as stupid as a few encounters with Jace and the stress of my upcoming art show.

"That's fine, Alec. I'll see you outside. I'm going to drop off my book and do the same," I told him in my best reassuring voice as I walked out the door and continued down the hall.

I felt someone fall in step beside me and tried to ignore it at first. Eventually I looked over and saw Jace just smiling at me while moving his eyes up and down my body, again. I seriously did not understand what was up with him. Normally we barely acknowledged each other unless we had to but all summer, he seemed to always be around, staring. He was acting way different from normal and it was really starting to creep me out. He did understand that I hated him right?

"What the fuck do you want Jace? What is it that I can possibly do for you? Haven't we been made to spend enough time together today? Not to mention that we'll be spending that same amount of time together for at least the rest of the semester."

"Just wanted to know what you and Alec were whispering about back in Spanish. Wouldn't have to do with a certain someone would it? I know I'm stunningly attractive but I prefer to hear such things to my face rather than having people keeping their undying passion for me a secret."

 _The arrogance of this stupid mother fuc-_

"You know what Jace, what I talk about with my best friend is seriously none of your damn business. However, I'll humor your petty arrogance and tell you that the last thing on Earth I would be talking about would be you, especially in your presence where it could only serve to inflate your ego further. Not everything revolves around you and the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the better off the rest of the world will be. Now if you'll excuse me, since you've probably succeeded in making me look like one of your skanks by eye fucking me all the way down the hallway, I have more important shit to do than discuss your big head. See you around, I'm sure." I realized I probably laid on the bitch kind of thick but I had had enough of Jace for one day and he was giving me a headache.

I could see something like confusion in his eyes but it was gone almost as quick as it appeared. He almost acted like I wasn't just the biggest bitch on the planet to him and said, "I don't believe that for a second. You can be in denial all you want but I have yet to meet a girl that didn't want this and _you_ are no exception despite what you claim. It's only a matter of time before you crack." And with that he left to go to what I assume was his own locker.

Trying to stifle my irritation, I grabbed my bag with my sketchbook and pencils and headed to the lunch room. I snatched a PB&J, an apple and a juice from the well stocked counter, paid my money and headed to the courtyard to meet up with my friends. Alec, Magnus and Aline were already out there sitting on the benches surrounding the flower beds, just talking and eating their lunches. Simon walked up, said hi to me and sat down next to Aline with his food in hand. I took my usual seat on the edge of the flower beds, took a bite of my Apple, pulled out my sketchbook and began to draw. I had finished my portrait of Aline from earlier so I started one of Magnus. He had such an angular face with symmetrical features, I was itching to draw him. I hadn't actually ever attempted one before but I considered that if I could draw him, I might be able to use the piece to finish my collection. I needed to get his permission first of course but I wanted to make sure I could make this work. I had an amazing idea to make Mags into the Chesire Cat that I just couldn't get out of my head.

 _ **Jace POV**_

The bell rang and I was glad to be getting out of that tension filled room. C seemed to be doing everything in her power to avoid even looking at me and it made everything really uncomfortable. I was seriously curious about the conversation that C and Alec had whispered to each other at the beginning of class though. As we were leaving, they had a brief conversation about lunch; the details I wasn't too concerned with because I knew Alec was the only member of the football team who didn't sit with us at lunch due to his almost inseparable friendship with C. I followed her out the door, determined to make her acknowledge me and fell into step beside her. I had a chance to look her body over for a minute before she noticed I was there. This girl was killing me. She asked me what I wanted in her normal vicious manner.

I responded with, "Just wanted to know what you and Alec were whispering about back in Spanish. Wouldn't have to do with a certain someone would it? I know I am stunningly attractive but I prefer to hear such things to my face rather than having people keeping their undying passion for me a secret." I knew this would get a rise out of her but a small part, and I mean a very small part of me also kind of hoped they had been talking about me. Another part of me just wanted to make sure that she was okay and I wasn't really sure why. We weren't friends. Yes, we practically lived at each others' houses but that wasn't the same thing. We hadn't been friends since before high school. And being friends was the furthest thing from my mind.

"You know what Jace, what I talk about with my best friend is seriously none of your damn business. However, I will humor your petty arrogance and tell you that the last thing on Earth I would be talking about would be you, especially in your presence where it could only serve to inflate your ego further. Not everything revolves around you and the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the better off the rest of the world will be. Now if you'll excuse me, since you've probably succeeded in making me look like your skanks by walking down the hall with me and fucking me with your eyes, I have more important shit to do than discuss your big head. See you around, I'm sure."

Okay, maybe Aline was right and she was growing to hate me more each day. But she almost seemed like she was on the verge of a major breakdown. After a few calculated seconds, I decided I needed to get out before I could make it worse or the dam broke. My constant struggle over her was tiring and I was seriously going crazy over the uncertainty of it all. Jace Herondale was anything but uncertain.

"I don't believe that for a second. You can be in denial all you want but I have yet to meet a girl that didn't want this and you're no exception. It's only a matter of time," I said with my usual cool demeanor. I shuffled down the hall to my locker and tried not to dwell on C and her aggression. Everything about this whole state of affairs was getting under my skin and I needed to stop it in it's tracks before it took over my life.

After stuffing my Spanish book in my locker, I made my way into the lunch room, grabbed a turkey sandwich, chips, an orange and a soda and went to sit next to Jon where he was eating with Bat, Jordan, Raphael, Meliorn and the rest of the football team at our usual table.

"Hey Bro, What's up? How's the first day of hell?"

 _At least Jon is in a good mood, unlike a certain redhead_

"Well, besides your sister yelling at me pretty much all day, it's been great. Skipped second period to hook up with Kaelie in the auditorium."

"You need to stop hooking up with random chicks and get yourself a girlfriend bro. So you can have a way to get some on the regular."

"Hey, hey. I don't wanna hear about anything that you and Izzy do 'on the regular' man. You may be my best friend but just like you wanna keep your sister safe, I also have the deep need to do the same thing for mine. The only reason I'm cool with you guys being together at all is because we've known you for so long and I know you aren't the player type anymore but that doesn't mean I need to hear about it." I really needed to make sure that Jon kept the sister talk to a minimum. For both his sake and mine.

"Speaking of sisters, what's got mine so pissed off at you, besides the usual?" Jon asked. So much for avoidance. I knew he'd be curious and tried to answer while including as little detail as possible.

"You know C. Just the natural hate for me. We have two classes together and ended up sitting next to each other in both. Plus, she's my partner for the semester in AP English. Obviously she wasn't happy about that." I couldn't let Jon know that I had actually purposely sat next to her in AP English because I heard from someone who took it last year that you were partnered with that person to do the work for the whole class. Even if by some miracle he wasn't pissed, I couldn't risk him telling her and either inciting her wrath or letting her know that I might be sitting next to her to have a better shot of getting in her pants.

"Yeah, I could see that pissing her off. She asked me this morning to keep you away from her. So much for that," he laughed lightly. I felt slightly irritated at hearing that she was already trying to thwart my plans before they had begun.

After that, we all got into a conversation about next weeks game against the Franklin Falcons and continued to eat lunch. We were really looking to start the season off with a win. About fifteen minutes before the end of lunch, Jon got up and let me know he was going to go find C and make sure she was okay. He said she had seemed really irritable during pre cal, plus if I had really pissed her off as much as I said I had then he wanted to check on her. I seriously hoped she was on her period or something and it wasn't just me that was making her this way. I was optimistic that it wasn't going to be like this for the rest of the year. Otherwise, I'd have my work cut out for me with trying to soften her up. Oh well, like I said, Jace Herondale never backs down from a challenge.

 _ **C POV**_

I had just finished Mags' black hair when I felt someone sit down next to me. I knew it had to be Alec. It had only been a matter of time.

Before he could even start talking, I quietly said so only he could hear, "I'm fine Alec. Really, you don't have to worry about me. I promise I'm not having a meltdown."

"Then what has been going on with you today? I hate to say it because you know I never use the nickname but from what I've seen, you are kind of acting like Satan today."

"I know, I'm sorry. I've had to spend way too much time with Jace for it only being the first day of school and I'm already stressed about my art show. It's all just making me crazy. I'll be better, I promise." I really didn't want to worry Alec. In some ways, he was an even better brother than Jon because he didn't have to but he took care of me anyway and he never left me behind. I tried to return the favor as much as possible.

"You don't have to promise me, C. I just care about you and I want to make sure you're okay before you blow up and we have an even bigger problem on our hands." Alec had been there for my wet t-shirt situation. He was always there. He was the only one who could talk me out of my room the next morning. He was also there for what happened after Sebastian even though he didn't know the whole story and knew better than anyone how self destructive I could be. That was the last time I ever cried and he was there for that too. I really appreciated how much he had been there for me but that just made it all the more important for me to not make him worry unnecessarily and for me to be there for him in return.

"I know Alec. I love you so much. You know you'd be mine if you weren't gay, right?" we both laughed. "How are you? How is your first day going?"

"It's going good. Hardly any homework. I have PE last period so thank the Angel for that. Jon and Jace are in it with me so it should be fun. I have Football practice after school as you know but do you want me to come over after and we can just watch movies or hang out or whatever?"

"Don't you have plans with Mags or something? I can just go kick it at the skate park, write some new music or work on my piece or something."

"I was with Magnus all last week. Who I haven't seen is you. I'm having C withdrawal. And besides, I was your husband first. We were married before I even knew I was gay, remember?" I did remember. The Lightwoods had lived down the street from us and were the only kids on our block since we were little. Alec, Izzy and eventually Jace and their little brother Max, had been staples in our lives since forever. When Alec and I were five and six, and so were Jon and Izzy, we had decided we all wanted to get married so we would never be apart. That was right after I met Simon. He pretended to be the Rabi since he's Jewish and married Alec and I and then Jon and Izzy right after. We always knew Jon and Iz had a thing for each other but they continued to insist they were only friends until a few months before they started dating. Alec told me first that he thought he was gay when he was ten. That was right after Jace moved in with them. Even though he didn't say it, I knew it had something to do with Jace by the way he looked at him. He couldn't take his eyes off the beautiful golden God even at ten years old. I didn't figure out that I liked girls as well as guys until a couple years later and Alec was just as supportive when I came out to him even though he didn't understand at first how I couldn't make a choice between the two.

"Alright, sounds good. We'll Netflix and chill, the platonic version," I laughed. He agreed, gave me a big hug and then went back over to sit by Mags. I picked my drawing back up and had nearly finished when Aline came over and kissed me on the cheek.

"Hey babe, what's up? How was your last class?" I asked her, curious about how my girlfriend had spent most of her day without me.

"History was fine. Helen is in there with me." I rolled my eyes. Helen had been my first girlfriend and she was the most clingy girl I had ever met and it was at a time in my life when there was nothing so valued more than space. She followed me everywhere to the point of her giving up her own friends to hang out with mine and trying to spend every night at my house. I finally had to sit her down and tell her that we just weren't meant to be. She didn't take it very well and she'd been a bitch to me ever since.

"Awesome," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"That's not why I came over though. I miss you and wanted to see if you want to hang out right after school. I have to volunteer at the soup kitchen tonight for Key Club but that's not until five thirty and I thought we could work on homework and spend a little time together before since I haven't seen you for a few days." I knew I had been a super inattentive girlfriend over the past couple weeks because of the extra band practice and trying to get ready for my art show. And honestly, I thought I might have been avoiding her a little bit ever since our six month anniversary. But nothing was as great at stress relief as an orgasm and I knew that was part of what Aline had in mind.

"Yeah, come over after school. I have plans with Alec but he has practice so I'd love to spend some time with you first. We can hang, just the two of us before anyone gets home. Mom and Luke are obviously still both gone."

"Sounds good to me. I drove my own car today instead of riding with Si so I'll just meet you there." I pulled Aline in for a kiss. After a few seconds I could tell she wanted to deepen it by the feeling of her tongue running against my bottom lip, begging entrance to my mouth. I opened for her and we began the dance, her tongue against mine. It was just then that I felt someone sit down behind me.

"Hey ladies. You know this is a school and not a porno, right?" Jon pointed out as he chuckled. I reluctantly pulled away from my girlfriend to glare at my brother. Aline didn't look phased at all.

"Jon, come on, not you too. You've obviously been spending way too much time with Jace."

"I'm sorry Clare Bear. I'm just messing with you two. I fully respect your relationship with Aline. I just wanted to check and make sure you're okay. You've been a bit on edge all day and Jace told me he's your partner for AP English so I figured that didn't thrill you but I thought it had to be more than that. You just don't seem like yourself today." I knew he was trying to be helpful but I already had the same conversation with Alec. Sometimes I just wished people would take Aline's current approach and let me be. She could tell I was irritated but she wasn't pressuring me to talk about it, she was just offering to spend time with me…well, and an orgasm but I certainly didn't want that from my brother or Alec. I knew why they couldn't leave me alone though, glancing at the leather cuffs on my wrists. That thought just made me feel even worse.

"I'm good Jon. Just worried about my last piece for the show. And yeah, I'm not happy about working with Jace either but there's nothing I can do about it so I've decided to stop stressing. I also think I've just figured out what I want to do for my last piece so all my problems might be semi solved here in a minute. Hey Mags, do you mind if I use you for a painting or drawing in my collection? I had a really great idea and I would love to show you if you don't mind." I passed him my sketchbook and he looked at me with a shocked expression on his face. His shock quickly turned into a knowing look of excitement.

"Sure thing, Biscuit. I love it. You can use me as long as you promise that if someone doesn't buy it that I can have it after your show." I assured him that it would be his if that were the case.

"Okay Clare Bear. As long as you're fine. I'm gonna head back in so I can get to the gym in time to dress down. I'll see you after practice," he said while walking away to go back inside.

"Wait Jon! We need to talk about cars. We have only brought two, mine and Jace's. I don't know why we never bring more than two cars to school between the six of us. Have you talked to Izzy about it yet today?"

"No but I figured you could just give Magnus a ride and then take Izzy home so we could use Jace's car to get home," he said nonchalantly.

"Uh uh, Jonny boy. Iz and I are going shopping after school in Jace's car," Mags said. "You guys were supposed to have Biscuit come pick you up from practice," Mags told Jon.

"Not gonna happen guys. Aline and I have plans and not to mention I left my skateboard at home, as if I could board in these boots anyway."

"Babe, why don't you leave your car here so Jon, Alec and Jace can take it home? You can just ride with me," Aline offered.

"Alright, but we seriously have to start bringing more than two vehicles to school people. Otherwise, this is going to get ridiculous. Especially with band practice, football practice, cheerleading practice and yearbook between all of us," I complained reasonably.

"Noted baby sister. We can discuss it later. Gotta go. Love you," he shouted over his shoulder.

"Love you too, Jon," I yelled after him.

"I better go too. Gotta be on time or Coach Armstrong with throw a fit." Alec gave Mags a kiss, hugged me and then took off running after Jon.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I finished eating as I listened to Jordan, Raphael, Bat and Meliorn talk about the party coming up this weekend at Jon & C's. I had to admit I was pretty excited. Their BTS party was one of the biggest of the year. Then I heard something that made my fists clench and my blood boil in anger.

"I can't wait for that party. Jon will be shitfaced so I should be able to get C alone. Did you see what she's wearing today? I keep hoping she'll drop something so I can see her bend over," Meliorn engaged the group.

"She does have a seriously smokin bod. I would love to see what she's got under that skirt," Raphael responded. "I just wish she'd take most of that shit out of her face. Besides that, she's hotter than most of the cheerleaders. She can leave that tongue piercing in though," Raphael growled with a lustful look in his eyes.

"As fine as she is, I'm pretty sure she's a lesbian. I've seen her making out with Aline in the hall on multiple occasions so I'm almost positive they're together," Jordan offered. He was a better guy than the other two so I had to give him that.

"I don't think she's really a lesbian. Probably just thinks she is cuz she hasn't had any of this yet," said Meliorn as he grabbed his junk. "I'll make sure to give her a taste when we're at the party."

"This is fucked up guys. I don't disagree that C is hot but she's also a friend and I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you guys talk about her like she's only a piece of ass. I have class with her next period and I actually have to look her in the eye. I'm out." And with that, Bat got up and left the lunch room without so much as a backward glance.

 _At least Maia wasn't around to hear him say that. Otherwise, we'd be in drama city_

Bat and I had always been sort of friends because of his relationship with Maia and him being a part of the football team but I found that I had a new kind of respect for him in that moment. He stood up to our friends about Jon's sister and I knew I would want someone to do the same thing for me if it were Izzy. Sure I had said the same things about chicks. I had even _thought_ the same kinds of dirty things about C but I _never_ said them out loud. I thought about how fuckin sexy C was but then I also thought about how she was my best friend's little sister and something just clicked. Those assholes were gonna hear it. If nothing else, I'd have witnesses that I defended her honor.

 _If anyone is gonna be sleeping with her, it's gonna be me, dickwads_

I thought about my words carefully but rage had taken over at that point. "Jon is my best friend, guys. You can't fuckin talk about his little sister like that just like you can't fuckin talk about Izzy like that. If she wanted dick, I'm sure she would have no problem finding it. She certainly doesn't need you forcing yourself on her. She's not a piece of meat. And if I see any one of you trying to touch her at the party, I will break your goddamn wrists." I got up from our lunch table fuming and started toward the doors. I heard a shout behind me.

"What the fuck is with you, Herondale?" I knew it was Meliorn from the sound of his voice. I just kept walking. In that moment, I didn't care what they might think. I needed to get to PE so I could calm down. Thank God we had football practice later. I wanted to run until I couldn't breath. I needed to get C and those assholes out of my head. How could she be ruining everything and not even know it? My little world was getting more complicated by the minute. Fuck my life.

 _ **C POV**_

I finished my lunch and my sketch and then threw my trash away. I was so excited for independent art because I knew exactly what I was going to do for my first project. Now all I had to do was convince Mr. Allgood, my favorite teacher, to allow me to not only use my painting as part of my grade but to also let me take it back out of class so I could use it for my art show. I was sure he would say yes. The lunch bell rang and we all made our way back into the school. Aline, Simon and I walked to our lockers together. I kissed Aline goodbye, said as much to Si and ran to art. I met Bat at the door and we both moved to sit by the window at the back of the room. When Mr. Allgood entered a few minutes later and talked about the syllabus with the students that were taking the regular art course, Bat and I were gathering our art materials. He grabbed his charcoal and paper. I went to grab a canvas, easel, paints, brushes and an apron. Mr. Allgood came over a few minutes later and spoke to us and a few others about the responsibilities of independent art which I was well aware of since I took it last year. After he was done, I went up to talk to him privately. Mr. Allgood was well aware of my art show coming up. He was friends with my mother and I had been in touch with him over the summer to let him know that a local gallery was going to do an opening for me. He was more than willing to let me use my piece for the show and even said he would give me extra credit for my entire collection. He then announced to the class that he would give everyone extra credit who went to my show once it opened and assured me he would be there too. That only made me blush furiously, something I had tried desperately to control over the past year. I went back to my area to setup but decided that instead of painting Mags, I wanted to do a colored pencil drawing instead. I put away all of my painting supplies and gathered what I would need before going back to sit down. Bat and I continued to work all period, just bullshitting back and forth while drawing. Even though he wasn't a particularly close friend, Bat and I had a lot in common and I thought maybe this might be the year to change that. He had been great over the summer doing my tattoos and had been a pretty good friend of Jon's over the years without ever trying to secretly hit on me so I figured it was time to extend the real hand of friendship. Despite my earlier bad mood, the day didn't end up being too bad. At least the mood change would be noticeable to Jon, Aline and Alec. When the final bell rang, I was actually kinda sad it was over. My sadness didn't last too long when I remembered my girlfriend and best friend would be over to hang out with me. It may have shaped up to be an okay day, but it was going to be an even better night.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I made it the locker room, changed into my clothes for PE and headed back up to the gym. When the first bell rang, people slowly started to trickle in. I was none too happy to see that when Jon came filing in with Alec and Jordan in tow, Raphael and Meliorn were close behind. They all disappeared into the locker room together and I thought to myself how quickly Jon would have beaten their asses if he knew what they had been saying about his sister. After a few minutes, they all reappeared, dressed down in their PE clothes. I was still fuming and had to physically stop myself from launching at both of them. I walked over and stood on the far side of Jon so I wouldn't be close to either just as the late bell rang and Coach Armstrong entered the gym. He announced that we would be playing dodgeball on our first day and started splitting us up into teams. Jon, Jordan, Alec and I ended up on the same team while Raphael and Meliorn ended up on the opposing side. I couldn't have been more thrilled and I looked at Raphael and Meliorn with a scowl that let them know that I'd be coming for them.

 _And I thought I was gonna have to wait until football practice to get rid of some of this anger._

I pulled Jon and Alec aside and implied the kind of shit that Raphael and Meliorn had been talking about at lunch. I tried to leave out the details because I didn't want Jon to kill them but he was pissed nonetheless, so was Alec. I was pretty sure that Jon could tell I was more angry than I ought to have been but if he did, he chose to ignore it, at least temporarily.

 _If he only knew how impure my motives were_

We collectively decided to fuck them up during dodgeball. By the time we had the rubber balls in our hands, we had already plotted our strategy. We would each hold two balls at once, one for throwing, one for blocking. Then we would throw for the same person at the same time, assuming they couldn't block three balls coming at them all at the same time. Our strategy worked out well. We had landed a lot of face shots as well as shots to the body. When the game was over and we were changing in the locker room, we could see that Raphael and Meliorn were covered in red welts and Jon, Alec and I barely had a mark between us. They looked seriously pissed. Glad for the way the day ended, we all changed into our football gear and headed out to the field. The perfect ending to the first day of school.

 **I hope you enjoyed the newest chapter in the story. To answer a PM I just received, my song choices go in the order in which they are relevant to the chapter. For instance, It's Not All About You by Face To Face is for when C yells at Jace. I feel it fits perfectly. I would appreciate the reviews so I know what you all think. I know where this story is going and there is some hidden stuff that will be revealed along the way but there will also be a lot of fluff for those that like it. Hope to have another chapter for you soon. Later Humans!**


	4. After School Special

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Muahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

 **A/N ~ Sorry for taking so long to upload the newest chapter. Looking for a job is hard work. Anyway, here it is. Don't forget to review!**

~ _ **Remember**_ _ **…**_ _ **this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Bouncing Souls - The Messenger***

 ***Cartel - Honestly***

 ***The Get Up Kids - Lion And The Lamb***

 ***Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Possess Your Heart***

 ***Bad Religion - Let Them Eat War***

 _ **C POV**_

By the time class was over, I had made significant progress on my Mags piece. I left art with Bat following close beside me. He said goodbye, gave me a small hug and made to head down the opposite hallway toward his locker. Just from that one class with him, I already felt like we had grown closer. He'd told me, near the end, some shit that a few guys on the football team had been saying about me at lunch. Bat seemed so worried about telling me but we ended up having a pretty good laugh about it. He knew that Aline and I were together but he just wanted me to be extra careful at the party on Saturday. It felt like a very brotherly thing to do and even though I knew him and Jon were friends and had been for years, I never knew he had that level of affection for me. I guess I should have figured it out after all the time we'd spent in the tattoo shop over the summer and how much we'd been around each other at home but being as reserved as I was around anyone of the male sex besides my immediate circle, I wasn't really surprised I'd missed it. Even Mags, Simon and the other guys in the band didn't get all of me, some parts were reserved only for Alec and my brother and some for no one at all. I felt warmer towards Bat for choosing to warn me even though the guys on the football team had basically been his brothers for the past four years.

I wasn't concerned about my safety though. Even in a drunken state, I was sure I could handle myself with all the kickboxing I had done over the past two years, especially after IKF. Joe, my trainer at the gym, had done a good job making sure that I could defend myself and put up a good fight; preparing me in case I ever found myself in a situation where I needed it at first and then teaching me much more shortly after. Jon had been so excited when I started. Not surprisingly, Alec was the only other person who knew about it. They wanted me to have a less destructive outlet than the one I had previously chosen to help me deal with my problems. It had been working pretty well, at least for the past year, to keep my internal scars from becoming new external ones. I was aware people could see them. I wasn't oblivious to that fact. It didn't stop guys from trying to develop x-ray vision when they looked at me. But nobody ever asked about them. Maybe they just didn't want to pry, which was fine by me. I wouldn't have talked about it if they did. I didn't need people's questions or their pity. I wasn't ashamed. I was just happy no one could see the two things that would certainly bring on the inquisition. The cuffs kept two of my darkest secrets from becoming apparent to the whole world. The black leather with the charcoal anarchy symbol and white nautical star that I wore on each wrists. Fashion with a purpose. I was hiding a giant part of my past from everyone and even though I let Jon and Alec in more than anyone else, not even they knew everything. Some things are just too personal and sometimes crushing guilt can only be held on one person's shoulders.

I headed to my locker for the last time of the day and met Aline there. I left Pride and Prejudice in my there since I had my own copy at home and walked over to Simon who had just arrived across from us.

"Hey Si, I've been meaning to talk to you about something all day and just never got around to it. I've been working on a new song that I'd love to try out at band practice on Wednesday. If I bring you the music tomorrow, do you think you'll have enough time to get the gist of it before then?"

"Another new song? C, you've been doing way too much. That makes the fifth new song of the summer not to mention how hard you've been working on the stuff for the gallery," Simon said with apprehension written all over his face.

"You know I like to keep busy Simon. Anyway, we're gonna do a three csong set at the party and I need you, Eric, Matt and Kirk to choose which of the new songs you want to perform. And don't get me started on Battle of the Bands. We have to show them what we're made of. We need to figure out what we're gonna use and there's no better way to decide than to perform them in front of a crowd to see how they respond. We need choices, Si."

"I guess you've got a point. It's just, we can all see the concern in Jon and Alec's faces. The band has practiced a lot this summer, like a lot a lot. I thought you'd cut yourself a break when school started back up."

"I am. We're only having practice once this week instead of every day. Even though it'll be a long one, I'd say that's still a substantial break."

"Okay. Just promise me that if it gets to be too much, you'll back off of everything," Simon pleaded. "Seriously…the guys and I can take having less band practice for a while. What we can't take is you going Satan all over our asses." We both chuckled.

"I promise Si. However, I grow to hate that nickname more and more every day."

"What do you expect with a last name like Morgenstern, fiery red hair and a temper to match?" By this point he was straight out laughing. I gave him my best death glare.

"Ahem…Anyway, I gotta go. I need to go pick up that new amp from Soundwave, take it home and then go back for work. I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked as he opened up to give me a one armed hug.

"See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Simon," Aline called from her locker.

He waved and motored down the hallway, being swallowed up by the steady flow of students trying to exit the building. I moved back over to Aline and placed my hand in hers.

"Ready to go babe?"

"Yeah, I got all my stuff. Let's get the hell out of here," She said, smiling at me.

We walked out of the building using the door closest to our lockers. It only took us a couple of minutes to get to Aline's Camaro. We got in, started blasting the radio and headed off to my house. When we got there, we immediately went up to my room and stripped our socks and shoes. Aline had some history homework to do so I let her setup at my desk. I pulled out my iPod so I could get lost in the music as I prepared to read. While sticking my earbuds in, I laid down on my bed, stretched out on my stomach and pulled Pride and Prejudice from the bookshelf next to me. I turned to page ten, deciding to spend a little time with Mr. Darcy while Aline did what she needed. Hopefully it wouldn't take her too long to get through her work so we could spend some much needed time working on each other.

 _ **Jace POV**_

We exited the locker room and ran onto the field, followed closely by Coach Armstrong. We huddled up knowing that it was time for his famous beginning of the season speech that he always gave on the first day of school. It was all about how greatness had to be earned and life would never hand us what we wanted, we had to take it. Typical shit that you'd expect for a motivational speech, however, most of us had heard this same speech a few times already so it had kind of lost it's effectiveness. With the pep talk done, we all took our positions on the field so we could start practice. Jon, Alec and I were an unstoppable force. With Jon at QB, me at running back and Alec as our best wide receiver there wasn't much our offense couldn't do. Jon had one of the strongest arms I'd ever seen and Alec and I were so fast, we were nearly impossible to catch. Jordan and Bat had speed and strength too but couldn't compare to the triforce as the team referred to us. As a whole, our entire team was amazing. We had made it to State the past two years in a row but lost. I had a serious feeling that now that we were seniors, this was going to be our year.

We finished up practice an hour and a half after hitting the field. We ran so many plays, took so many hits and scored so many touchdowns between all of us that most of us were ready for practice to be over. Jon and I wanted to stay behind and workout a little more before heading home but Alec had a "date" with C so we showered quickly and grabbed our stuff. As we headed out to the car, I managed to persuade Jon to let me drive C's GTO although I wasn't really sure how I had accomplished it.

"Just don't let her find out you let Jace drive it. She'll have a shit fit and the goal is to keep that little redhead calm," Alec warned.

"She'll only find out if you tell her, Alec. I know she's your wife but remember, bros before h-"

"Don't you dare finish that fuckin sentence, Herondale. That's my sister you're talking about," Jon threatened with a scowl on his face.

"Relax, Jon. It's just a saying. I don't actually think…I would never call her that. Besides, don't you actually have to be fucking dudes to be considered a ho?"

"I don't think it works like that, Jace," Alec said. "I'm pretty sure you can be a ho with girls too. Even though C likes chicks and dicks, I don't think she could be a ho with either. She's not prude but definitely not in the lower class of sluts you seem to like to sleep with."

"So she is into dudes," I clarified. "Aline was telling me something like that earlier but I wasn't sure. I've only ever seen her with chicks. First, She was hanging out with Helen all the time and now she's with Aline. Then there was that whole thing with Raphael and Meliorn at lunch that I told you guys about and for her sake, I kinda hoped she was a lesbian…And hey, not all the girls I sleep with are sluts."

"Don't forget about Emma Carstairs. She dated Emma right after Helen," Alec chimed in. Emma was best friends with his buddy Julian and I had seen her and C together but had no idea they were 'together'. "Oh and you're right Jace…not all of them have been sluts, just most." I tried not to take offense, mainly because I couldn't argue.

"I've only seen C with chicks as well. Maybe she just hasn't found any guys she likes or maybe she's just more into girls, who knows. She's had enough shit going on in her life without having to stress about guys too. Either way, I'm glad because I don't have to worry about some asshole plowing my sister and therefore don't have to murder anyone," Jon said thankfully. I couldn't help but wonder at what kind of shit Jon was hinting at which was a strange occurrence because Jace Herondale did not care..

"Let me tell you, Jon. There are a lot of guys looking to hook up with C. Even I wouldn't mind-"

"Jace, seriously. DO NOT put yourself at the top of my hit list. I know exactly how you are with girls and wouldn't let you anywhere near C even if she _was_ into you. Not that it would ever happen because I believe I've heard her refer to you on multiple occasions as a grade A douche. And with good reason after what we did to her..." He trailed off. We arrived at the car and got in, me behind the wheel. I started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"That? Pfft. That's in the past and this is just her hiding her love for me, Jon. No girl in her right mind could possibly resist all of this," I proclaimed while gesturing to my face and body. He did not look amused.

"Jace, even I would kill you if you got anywhere near her. I care about C just as much as I do Izzy, maybe even more. I love her beyond family," Alec admitted with a sigh.

"Alec, sometimes I question whether you're actually gay. You and C spend half of your nights sleeping together. You're always hugging and kissing each other. It's just weird," I accused. I was really trying to hide my jealousy and make it sound like I was merely curious but damn it was hard.

"Oh I'm gay alright. Just ask Magnus. Earlier, we-"

"Dude, no details please. We don't need to hear about your sex life with Magnus," Jon complained while grimacing.

"Let's think about this logically, Jace. C and I have been sleeping alone together in bed for years. Don't you think if Jon even suspected some shit was going down, that he wouldn't hesitate to try and kick my ass? Not that he'd win but still." Jon gave him the finger as we kept walking. "We love each other but we don't _love_ each other. Otherwise, what would I need Magnus around for? Also, why the fuck do you care?" Alec looked like he was really searching my eyes. Like the information he sought was hidden somewhere behind them.

"I don't care what you guys do together," I feigned nonchalance. "It just seems weird. I don't understand how at our age, guys and girls can just be friends. And I thought maybe if you liked chicks too, it would explain a few things."

"Well, it's not shocking you don't understand the concept. If you had a girl who was a friend, you'd just end up sleeping with her in the first five minutes anyway," Alec stated accusingly.

"You know me so well, brother." I hadn't had a friend who was a girl since C.

"That wasn't meant to be a compliment, Jace," he said sternly. "Besides, C's different than most girls. She's more into cars than she is into shopping. She's got her band and her art, plus she's a really good dancer. She's into kickboxing. She's an amazing cook and really smart. She actually likes sports and has good taste in both music and movies. She loves to go to concerts and mosh. She's good at so many things without even trying. She doesn't talk about stupid, petty bullshit that almost all girls our age do. She's strong but vulnerable at the same time and knows how to listen as well as talk, which is rare for most people. She genuinely cares. Honestly, she's more awesome than both of you combined so yeah, she's my best friend, I fuckin love her and I would do anything for her." That was the closest I'd ever heard Alec get to a speech. He normally didn't talk that much, except to C. And honestly, even though C and I had been friends at one point, I felt like I didn't know anything about her. Time changes people and we hadn't had an actual conversation in years. The C that Alec was describing wasn't the thirteen year old girl that was my friend. And for the first time in over three years, I wondered if I could have that back. Part of me that I thought was my heart was telling me to try while my brain and my dick were telling me to stay as far away from 'friends' as possible. Let's just say it was two against one and the thoughts were pushed under almost as quickly as they'd surfaced.

"I know she loves you just as much, Alec. She talks about you like you're the only star in her sky. There's only so much a sister is willing to tell her brother but I have a feeling you guys don't have those kinds of boundaries. I fucked up so bad with her," Jon uttered with a pained look in his eyes.

"Jon, she loves you. You guys take care of each other. There are just some things that you can't tell your brother, like you said. Iz and I have the same issues. As the older sibling, we want to pummel first and ask questions later. It's just all part of being an older protective brother. Then there are the things that are just awkward to talk about with your family. And you know she stopped holding the other thing against you a long time ago," Alec reassured him.

"I just worry about her. I get concerned she'll…about things. You know what I mean." I had no idea what Jon was talking about but I had a feeling Alec did and that it was some big secret that I wasn't in on. That only served to make me more curious about the little redhead so I quickly changed the subject before I could delve further into my irrational thoughts.

"Okay guys, I feel like my dick is gonna magically turn into a vagina just from being a part of this conversation. We gotta stop before the river of tears start flowing or I might start bleeding in places that no man is ever supposed to bleed from." Jon then punched me in the shoulder, hard.

"Hey, I'm trying to drive here."

"Don't be such a asshole then," Jon said.

We pulled up to Jon's house and all got out of the car. As we were walking up to the door, Jon got a call from Izzy saying that her and Magnus had bought some shirts for Alec and him and wanted them to come over and try them on really quick. I didn't wanna go and wait while the guys played dress up so I told Jon that I needed to talk to C about our AP English project and apologize for pissing her off anyway and told them I'd be cool to wait there. Jon knew Izzy and figured he'd better drive in case he had to bring a bunch of clothes back home. Jon handed me C's car keys and the house key before telling me they'd be back within the hour and for C and I not to kill each other. They hopped in Jon's Ferrari and drove down the street to The Institute; Our house that just so happened to double as our parents' research facility. I, on the other hand, walked up to the door, unlocked it and slipped inside the house.

 _ **C POV**_

I was nearing page one hundred in Pride and Prejudice and bobbing my head while lip synching to the 'Narrow Stairs' album by Death Cab For Cutie, when I suddenly felt a fingernail tracing a line up the back of my thigh. The blank look of a few seconds ago immediately turned to a smile as Aline uncrossed my legs, crawled on my bed and sat on her knees in between them. I pulled out my earbuds, turned to look at her and saw the sexiest smirk on her face.

"What ya doin, babe?" I asked as if I had no idea.

"My work is done. Time to play," she purred, seductively while looking at me through her thick lashes. She spread my legs further apart with her knees. Just the thought of physical contact with my girlfriend built immediate heat between my thighs. Aline kept tracing her finger up but continually moved it toward the inside of my leg. Finally, after setting an excruciatingly slow pace, I felt her nail drag across the center of my black lace thong. I tried to stifle a moan. I got up off my bed with some protest from Aline, although I was only going to plug my iPod into the dock so we wouldn't have to worry about the noise if Jon came home. I turned the 'Narrow Stairs' album on shuffle and cranked the volume up pretty loud; loud enough that you could hear it all throughout the house. I had tested the volume levels on many previous occasions.

I turned around and walked back over to my king size bed, grabbed Aline's hand and pulled her toward me. She seemed to enjoy this and fell easily into my arms. Our lips met passionately and what started as soft, slow kisses turned into ferocious, hungry ones that felt almost like we were trying to crawl inside each other. We broke away at the same time, desperately needing air and looked into each others' eyes. I could see the savagery behind them and how bad she wanted me. I only hoped I was conveying the same message with mine. My eyes dropped down to her frame and I really took all of her in.

I put my hands on her hips and moved them up her body, under her top, feeling the softness of her skin. I slowly moved my hands back down and grabbed the hem of her shirt. Getting the message, she raised her arms above her head and I pulled it off. She started to unbutton my vest and then removed my tie and shirt, both of our clothes slowly starting to make a pile on my bedroom floor. Aline took off her crimson halter bra and tossed it. She was fuckin hot and she belonged to me. She quickly reached around me and before I could make a move, unclasped mine as well, adding it to the mess. I was getting impatient and quickly removed her pants so she was standing there only in crimson lace boy shorts. I realized it had been way too long since I had seen my girlfriend naked. I needed to make her mine, I wanted to hear her scream my name.

I began slowly moving toward her with a predatory look in my eyes. She understood perfectly what I intended to do and kept backing up until the backs of her knees hit my bed. She then climbed on top of it and laid down, after which I immediately climbed on top of her. I brought my mouth down to her left nipple, licking and sucking on it while gently rolling her right one in between my index finger and thumb. I could feel her body tense beneath me and a small whimper came from her mouth. I switched my mouth and fingers and continued to assault her nipples. Aline put her hand in my hair, pulled me back up and crashed her lips into mine. When we pulled away for the second time, I began using my lips to work my way down from her neck, across both breasts where I gently bit each nipple to which she gasped and bucked her hips, trying to get some friction. I moved my mouth down her torso and then down to her panties. i rubbed my nose right along her center and heard her gasp again at the sensation. I hooked my fingers into the waistband of her panties and with the raise of her hips, pulled them down her legs.

I reached over to my rack and pulled off one of my ties. Aline smiled when she saw what I had in my hand. She held her wrists out to me in expectation and I bound them up and tied them to my headboard. She had her knees up so I grabbed them, moved them apart and leaned on her legs so she couldn't close them. I was going to make her cum hard and I wanted her to feel everything.

I brought my face to the apex of her thighs and let my warm breath tease her before I touched her. My fingers slowly traced her slit, lightly, brushing her with just my fingernails. I could hear her breathing hard and she was just starting to really glisten with moisture.

"Oh fuck C, I need you," she whimpered. I felt her shudder and try to close her legs but I wouldn't let her.

"What do you need Aline?" I asked her trying to force the words I so greatly wanted to hear spill from her mouth.

"I need you to kiss me here." and she pointed at her pussy that was getting wetter by the second. I leaned in and let my tongue caress her center, lightly circling around her clit until I could feel the muscles in her legs straining from trying to release them from my hold. I moved my mouth away and received a another whimper in response.

"Still," I said as I held her hips in place with a hand on top of her pelvis. "This is going to be intense." She was no longer moving, only staring at me in anticipation, so I continued my ministrations. She threw her head back and closed her eyes as if the satisfaction of my mouth on her most sensitive area was too much for her. She was dripping wet and crying out in ecstasy.

"Do you like the way I lick you?"

"Yes," she gasped as I rubbed my finger across the bundle of nerves between her thighs. I entered her with my fingers, starting with one and then adding another and then a third. I started to pump my fingers in and out of her while my fingers in a 'come hither' motion, stroking her most favored spot and continuing to circle her clit with my tongue. She moaned loudly.

"Oh God...C, your tongue...it feels soooo good." She was pulling at the tie that was binding her arms but there was no way she was getting away from me. Not until I was done. I started sucking on her nub and I felt another shudder go through her body. I could tell she was getting really close. More pressure was coming from her legs to try and close them again, she was trying to buck her hips but my hand was holding her flat against the bed. I continued to alternate between licking and sucking her as I felt her muscles tighten around my fingers. She was breathing hard and I could hear the desperation in the groans coming from her mouth.

"Cum for me baby," I said into her pussy and lightly nipped at her clit knowing full well that the combination would throw her over the edge.

As if on queue, she attempted one last buck of her hips and screamed, "Oh Shit C, I'm cummi-i-i-i-ing." I furiously ran my tongue up and down, lapping up all her juices and continued to pleasure her with my fingers until she stopped spasming and had completely come down from her orgasm.

"Oh shit, C. That was so fucking amazing. I can hardly breath," She said, holding her arm across her chest and panting heavily. She sounded very breathy and winded. After another minute she asked, "Will you untie me please and hand me my panties?" I moved to untie her wrists, handed her the discarded panties and pulled her into my lap so she could catch her breath. She slipped them on and laid there just resting between my legs with her head in the crook of my neck as I held onto her. I knew her orgasm was intense and I wanted to give her time to recover. Instead, she started trailing kisses along my jaw and I gripped her tighter to my naked chest. She then gave me a passionate kiss and I was sure she could taste herself on my tongue but knew she wouldn't care.

She broke from the kiss and said with a sultry look on her face, "Now it's your turn." And I was so ready. I wanted this. I needed this.

She roughly pushed me back on the bed and climbed up my body. She ran her hands all over me and then set her mouth over one of my hard nipples. I arched my back and let out a sigh. She began rubbing my clit through my panties with precision.

"Someone's a little wet," she said with a giggle. She slipped a finger underneath my panties and slowly sunk it inside me. I bit down on my bottom lip as my eyes rolled back in my head.

"And why do you think that is, Aline?" I asked, seductively. "Having you on my tongue when you cum, screaming my name is enough to make anyone wet." She took that as an invitation, growled and pulled off my thong in one swift motion.

"You are leaving that skirt on, baby. It's too fuckin sexy to add to the pile." I knew it was her favorite one. It left all kinds of access to all the right places. She spread my legs, lifted the skirt and her mouth was on me. I could feel her tongue moving up each of my inner lips and then got a surprise when I suddenly felt her grip my hips and her tongue enter me. She was moving it in and out over and over again. I grabbed the sheet on either side of me but it was taking all of my self control not to rip them. She removed her tongue and I groaned, holding on for dear life and closing my eyes.

"Don't worry, I'm not done with you yet."

Aline stuck 3 fingers inside me after removing her tongue and was stroking my g-spot in just the right way. Her mouth was alternating between each of my nipples, scraping her teeth against them, which she knew drove me crazy. I was getting so turned on but I needed more. She seemed to realize this because seconds after I had the thought, she took her mouth off my nipple and moved it back down to my pussy. Aline started circling my clit with her tongue, changing it up every once in a while by applying pressure directly to it. I was instantly falling apart and she knew it. I moved my hands up to my breasts and took over the task of playing with my erect nipples. I could feel Aline laugh against my pussy and I almost lost it right there but for some reason I couldn't reach the release that I so craved no matter how amazing it felt.

"Let go baby," she said against me, causing vibrations to radiate all up and down my hot, wet cunt. It sent a shiver through me. I was right on the edge and I wanted to cum so bad. I needed to see Aline with her head under my skirt, thinking it might give me that push over the edge. I opened my eyes and looked at the sight before me. I felt someone's gaze on me and turned my attention to the side of the room closest to my door. I immediately tensed as I saw the person I least wanted or expected standing over by the door, his mouth agape with incredulity and golden eyes molten with lust. I suddenly and forcefully moved my lower body away from Aline and sat up, stopping her protests and pulling her with me. I covered both of us with the blanket and glared back at him. I was seeing red and Satan was about to make an appearance.

 _ **Jace POV**_

As I walked in, I instantly heard music and assumed it had to be coming from C's room. I knew it had to be cranked pretty loud because I could hear it downstairs and C's bedroom was the entire third floor. I realized I understood Alec's comment about C's good taste in music. She was currently listening to Death Cab which surprised me since I thought they would be more Jon's music style.

 _Maybe she got it from Jon? Or maybe she has electric taste, Jace! Why is it so hard for you to believe she_ _'_ _s as interesting as Alec makes her out to be? Maybe because if I admit she is, I might figure out that I really do want to be her friend and then I'm in fuckin trouble because I don't do friends with chicks_ _._

My thoughts were jumbled just like they had been all day, all summer really. I'd seen her out by the pool with Aline or Alec more times than I could count. She would alternate between a tiny red string bikini with black lace that I had seriously wanted to untie or an also tiny all black halter bikini with bottoms that had star cutouts at the hips that left only a little to the imagination. That was when I first started to not be able to keep my eyes off of her. Suddenly The fact that we'd barely seen each other or talked in years didn't matter. The warning Jon had given so many years ago started to become less effective and I would find myself creating any excuse to go look at her. I would hear her conversations with her friends while hanging out with mine and it just felt strange and new. It all got so confusing. Then today she managed to show up fully clothed, with only her legs on display and she still turned me on. There was too much to consider and I just couldn't deal with it. And now I was considering being her friend? No. Too much was happening too fast and I had been having conflicting sensibilities all day. I wasn't handling it well and I knew things were beginning to slip through the cracks. Why couldn't I think clearly. I decided to push all of it aside for now.

I dropped my backpack by the side of the sofa and went to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. After taking a drink, I figured I'd better go give C her keys and try to see if I could smooth things over with her a bit after pissing her off all day. I walked upstairs, hearing the music get louder as I approached the door to the third floor. I didn't think she would have heard me if I knocked so I tried the doorknob to see if it was locked but it opened easily. I pushed it open and walked around the corner toward where the music was coming from. I hadn't been in here since C moved up here sometime at the beginning of my sophomore year.

When I got around the corner, I nearly dropped my water. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I knew I should've turned around and walked back out right then but I didn't think the strongest willed guy would have been able to walk away from what I was seeing. C was laying topless on her bed with her mouth open and eyes closed, making the sexiest noises I had ever heard. She was playing with her nipples and her legs were spread wide with what I assumed was Aline's half naked body under her skirt. And what I would have given to join her down there. I felt my dick getting hard and my dark jeans became extremely uncomfortable. I wasn't sure how long I just stood there staring but the next thing I knew I heard Aline say a muffled "Let go baby" which was so hot it made the bulge in my pants even bigger and then C was looking at me. She scrambled up her bed quickly, pulling Aline with her and covered them both with her blanket. She was shooting daggers out of her eyes and I knew I was in deep shit but I couldn't find it in me to move. I was trapped in her green gaze and was unable to take one step, even to help myself.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM, JACE," she yelled at me. I closed my mouth and plastered my face with my familiar smirk before turning around and slowly walking back toward the door. I was fully aware that I should be terrified because she was about to go full on Satan, as Jon called her but I was so turned on and her yelling only made it that much hotter. I went out the door and shut it behind me before descending the stairs to go back to the living room. I sat on the couch, still sporting a hard on and waited for what I knew was coming.

 _ **C POV**_

After Jace left my room, Aline and I got up and I turned down my iPod immediately started putting on our clothes. I had some serious yelling to do and didn't want to encourage him by looking hot while I did it. I put on some black sweats and a long sleeve charcoal thermal with three buttons that were undone down the front with a black cami underneath. I looked at Aline and she had a tightness about her face like she wanted to scream. I knew she was pissed.

I turned to her and said, "Babe, I'm so sorry. I can't believe he just barged into my room like that. He's never even been in here before."

"I'm not mad at you, C. I just can't believe that pretentious asshole. I really want to just beat the shit out of him right now."

"Oh believe me, he's going to be hurting when I'm done."

"I'm sorry you didn't get to finish," she said, "but I don't think you're in the mood now and it's already 5:10. I should just get going before I kill him. I'll see you tomorrow," and she kissed me before picking up her bag and walking out my door. I turned off my iPod, started descending the stairs and heard the front door slam just as I hit the second floor. I made it to the living room and saw Jace just sitting there with that stupid smirk on his face. I walked over and stood in front of him.

 _This fucker is gonna get a piece of my mind. I didn_ _'_ _t even get to finish. He better pray to the Angel for absolution._

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO JUST WALK INTO A GIRL'S BEDROOM WITHOUT HER PERMISSION?" He gave me one of his crooked grins which only he could provide and which only served to piss me off more.

"I just assumed you wouldn't be able to hear me if I knocked due to your music being up so loud, so I walked in."

"AND WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THAT IS, JACE? NOW THAT YOU'VE SEEN ME HALF NAKED WITH MY GIRLFRIEND'S FACE BETWEEN MY LEGS, CAN YOU POSSIBLY IMAGINE WHY I HAD MY MUSIC TURNED UP?" I felt my throat getting more sore by the second.

"Oh, I don't have to imagine anymore. I think I'll be seeing that every time I close my eyes for quite a while," he taunted, smugly. That was it, the last straw. I slapped him. I could have punched him. I could have given him a roundhouse kick to the face but I didn't. I slapped him, hard and didn't feel bad about it at all. He looked at me, almost like he was expecting it. A second later, his hand was on his face where mine had just been. I so wanted to give him a matching handprint on the other side.

"You are such a fuckin prick. Not only did you piss my girlfriend off but you ruined my orgasm in the process." I knew I had started sounding a little whiny towards the end but I couldn't help it. I really needed to relax and he really wasn't helping.

He removed his hand from his cheek and grinned. "If it's an orgasm you need help with, I think we can come to an arrangement that would benefit the both of us. You seem a little frustrated. I wonder why that is?" He seemed to think that was so funny but I was really almost ready to combust. I was sure my face was a deep shade of red.

"UGH, FUCK YOU!" I yelled just as someone came in the door behind me. I saw Jace's face pale and turned to see Jon and Alec standing in the entrance.

"What's going on? Jace, I thought I told you not to kill each other while I was gone." Jon did not look happy. I knew he would kill Jace if I told him what happened. My big brother would do anything for me even if it involved the murder of his best friend. It was seriously tempting but I really wanted my own revenge. I could fight my own battles without my brother's protection.

I smiled sweetly at my brother and provided a half truth, "Nothing's wrong Jon-Jon, Jace is just being an asshat as usual. Don't worry about it." I looked back at Jace and was certain I saw relief flash across his face. That was when I got my idea for retribution.

"I feel like you're not telling me everything." He scowled at Jace.

"Really Jon, I'm fine."

Jon looked skeptical but turned to Alec, who was holding bags in his hands, and said, "Come on Alec, help me take all of this crap up to my room." They ascended the stairs with what I assumed were the spoils of Mags and Izzy's shopping trip.

After I saw that Alec had turned the corner, I quickly climbed on top of Jace, straddling his lap. I could feel that he was still hard from watching me and Aline. He had a shocked look on his face that quickly turned into a smirk. He thought he had me right where he wanted me. I put my dancing skills to use and ground against him, feeling him nearly instantly come to full alertness beneath me. I could feel him pressing against my core and had to admit, the friction felt good. His hands quickly made it to my hips and then to my ass, pressing me further into his erection. He looked as though this were worth going to hell for. I leaned down to his ear and I heard him attempt to stifle a groan.

"This means war, Herondale," I whispered. I abruptly stopped my movement, then I removed myself from his lap, making sure to provide some more friction as I slid off. "Fuck" I heard him say under his breath. He watched me back up to the steps with the most incredulous look on his face as he ran his through his hair in frustration. I turned and took the steps back up to my room two at a time. Meeting Alec on the second floor, I pulled him with me up to my room. I knew he wanted to ask but he didn't. I sat down on my bed and he went over to my cupboard to grab my always well stocked supply of weed and my bong. Alec wasn't really supposed to be smoking due to the random UA's they got on the team but he knew he could always find someone to take the drug test for him. We spent the rest of the night smoking, watching Netflix and eating pizza and then we passed out together in my bed. I fell asleep dreaming of revenge. Tomorrow was going to be a fun day.


	5. Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Muahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

 **A/N: Hey peeps, I know it's been a month since I've updated but it wasn't for lack of trying. I wrote and re-wrote this chapter about 6 times and that includes Pages crashing on me before saving once so I had to again start from scratch. This was a hard one for me. Even though I knew what I wanted to say, it was hard to get there. The good news is that I started working on other chapters while trying to figure out this one and because it took so long, I did something extra special. THIS CHAPTER IS ALMOST 10K WORDS! That's right, almost double the size cuz I love y'all so much. Enjoy!**

~ _ **Remember**_ _ **…**_ _ **this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Against Me! - I Was A Teenage Anarchist***

 ***A$AP Rocky - Purple Swag***

 ***Authority Zero - A Thousand Years Of War***

 ***Ninja Sex Party - Three Minutes Of Ecstasy***

 ***The Colourist - Little Games***

 ***Taking Back Sunday - Cute Without The "E" (Cut From The Team)***

 ***NOFX - I Wanna Be An Alcoholic***

 **++++++++++++UPDATED+++++++++++**

 _ **C POV**_

I woke suddenly and knew it was still the middle of the night based on my past experiences with insomnia. Looking at the clock, I could see it was only two-thirty. I tossed and turned for about fifteen minutes and then decided to get up so I wouldn't wake Alec; he had started to stir from all of my unavoidable movement. I tumbled out of bed, thoroughly frustrated, knowing that I would look less than my best for the day if I didn't get some more sleep and never had looking my best seemed so important.

I moved to sit down at my desk and turned on my lamp. I thought about maybe pulling out my guitar and writing another song but I wasn't feeling any inspiration at the moment and didn't want to take my guitar down to my art studio just to write. Grabbing my iPod and quickly rolling a joint, I carried my ass down the stairs and decided to head out to mine and my mother's shared art studio. It was basically a guest house out by the pool that we converted into our own space. What I really wanted to do was grab my skateboard and my spray paint and go find something to tag but I didn't feel like changing out of my pajamas and I wasn't planning on being up long enough for me to make a trip out, even though this would have been the perfect time. Spray paint had become an obsession over the past year and I loved street art. It had even become kind of a theme for a few pieces in my collection and was also plastered all over my room, including an entire wall mural I had dedicated to it. It was filled with all kinds of things music related including famous musicians, instruments, various headphones, speakers, a boom box and 'Music Is My Escape' tagged right in the center.

Since I didn't feel like leaving and I didn't have my Mags piece with me, I decided I would just screw around until I got tired again. I lit up my joint, setup my iPod on the dock in the studio and decided on some Rise Against, putting their discography on shuffle. When the first song started to play, 'Prayer of the Refugee', I pulled out my paint markers and worked on a random piece just to hang in my room, all the while thinking about what I needed to accomplish for the day. Step one, find a hot outfit and as Mags would say, 'rock it like a diva'. Step two, do everything in my power to turn Jace on, which I didn't think would be too hard. He was a guy after all. Step three, try to treat him like normal so as to not cause suspicion. Step four, get him all hot and bothered and make sure he stayed that way. The hardest part would be keeping it up for at least the rest of the week. I knew if I was going to hold Jace's attention, I needed to slut it up, which was not something I was used to doing. But I would suck it up because no one messed with me and walked away without scars to show for it.

 _Payback_ _'_ _s a bitch and so am I. This is going to be fun_

I finished my joint and fucked around for probably an hour and a half before I left my piece to finish drying and walked back inside. I had super bad munchies so I munched a granola bar in the kitchen before I hauled my ass back upstairs. I put my iPod on the dock in my room and turned the volume down before putting it on shuffle. Alec was still sound asleep when I crawled back into bed. I laid there for only a few minutes staring at my night sky ceiling before I was out.

 _ **~*0*0*0*~**_

I opened my eyes minutes before my annoying ass alarm clock went off and shut it down before the awful noise could ruin my morning. Alexisonfire's 'This Could Be Anywhere In The World' was playing through my speakers. I smiled to myself, knowing that it was going to be a good day. I had had an Isabelle free, dreamless sleep and despite being up for nearly two hours in the middle of the night, I felt refreshed. Today was the day to begin my revenge. As was to be expected though, my excitement was riddled with angst. I had never attempted anything like this before, despite all of my masterful revenge plots of the past. I was seriously out of practice with trying to turn guys on but I was confident I could get it done.

 _I seemed to do fine turning Jace on last night. Yeah but I can't just give him lap dances 24/7, especially at school_

Don't mistake my confidence for being cocky because that wasn't me, at least not about my looks. I knew I was attractive. It was hard not to when you had guys and girls blatantly checking you out but I wasn't so full of myself to think that everyone wanted me like a certain golden boy that we all knew. I had a type. The tattooed, pierced, dyed and dark kind and I was theirs as well. Golden gods didn't even make it on my radar anymore or boys in general really, not after Sebastian.

I shook Alec awake. That boy could sleep straight through a tornado but he always seemed to wake instantly for when I was the one doing the waking. He cracked his lids and looked at me like I had just stolen his most prized possession. I grinned at him and asked how he was doing.

"I'm sleeping." At lightening speed, he stretched his arms above his head, almost whacking me in the face and groaned. Just as quickly, he seemed to realize that something was off. "Wait, why are you so chipper? What are you up to?" he asked, accusingly while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Why Alec, whatever do you mean?" I responded with mock innocence.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't like this. Something is going on with you." He raised an eyebrow at me as I looked defiantly back at him.

"Look, if you don't wanna tell me right now, that's fine but you know I'll figure it out." He stood up, sounding mildly irritated. "I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll be back in a bit. Maybe you'll feel like talking then." He grabbed some of his clothes that we always kept in my dresser just in case and headed out to get ready. I felt slightly bad for keeping him in the dark because Alec and I didn't really keep anything from each other. He would probably even think my idea was funny but if it was going to work, I needed to keep it to myself. I couldn't risk anyone giving it away. Jace was going to pay for being an egotistical, arrogant, narcissistic pervert; I would make sure of it.

I headed to my own bathroom and started my daily routine including a touch up wax job, even though I didn't really need one. I exited the bathroom almost thirty minutes later, pulled out a charcoal and black lace bra and thong set and put them on. Choosing what to wear when you were trying to enact a masterful plan of seduction and retribution was hard. My wardrobe consisted of mainly skinny jeans, tank tops, band t-shirts, black, plaid and anything with hardware. My mom was always on me about how I looked like we didn't have money which I felt was ridiculous. Before a few months ago, I owned very few skirts or dresses but I'd been shopping with Mags and Izzy quite a bit over the summer and they had talked me into 'becoming the diva they knew I could be'. We had picked out a whole bunch of clothes and managed to 'glam up' my wardrobe a bit but I made sure our choices would still allow me to look like me. I had been working the new clothes in ever since. Before, catching me in a skirt two days in a row would've been damn near a miracle. Desperate times called for desperate measures though.

Just then, Alec re-entered my room wearing dark wash jeans and a black New Found Glory tee with a towel around his neck, trying to dry the water from his ebony hair. His presence was no big deal. Alec had seen me in nothing before so him catching me in my bra and panties was nothing. He sat down on my plush red sofa, put on socks and his all black chucks and then pulled out his phone.

"Better get that ass covered before I take a picture of it and send it to all my contacts." I knew he was fucking with me but it didn't stop me from glaring at him.

"You know you're dead if you do, Alexander," I threatened in return. He held up his hands in surrender while trying to hide a smile and went back to browsing what I assumed was Twitter.

I stepped into my closet and pulled out a black suede skirt that reached a little above mid thigh with long fringes like a tail down the back and a black studded belt. I paired it with a dark red tank top that unbuttoned down the front making sure to pop a button. To accessorize, I chose a pair of black peep toe, tongueless huntress boots with 4 inch heels that came just above the knee and my usual leather cuff wristbands. My natural curls seemed like the best way to go so I went back into the bathroom and got to work with my iron. Makeup consisted of grey smoky eyeshadow, black eyeliner that I used to give myself an exaggerated cat eye, black mascara and red stain lip gloss. Once I was completely dressed, I checked myself in my full length mirror and felt after a few seconds that I had this in the bag. My legs looked super toned and long and my ass was drool worthy plus, I was showing some moderate cleavage. I pulled my side zip leather jacket out of my armoire and planned to take it with me.

I walked over and joined Alec on the sofa. He looked up from his phone after a couple minutes and said, "What the fuck are you trying to do to Jon, C? You can't go to school like that. He'll freak. Honestly, I'm a little freaked."

"Why not Alec? These are my clothes and you did just tell me to cover my ass; no specification as to what I should cover it with," I pointed out, sarcastically. "And you can thank your boyfriend for the mini heart attack you're having right now. Besides, you didn't seem to care about what I wore yesterday."

"You weren't showing that much skin yesterday! And you weren't wearing boots that are pretty much begging to be around someone's neck." I laughed on the inside because that was exactly what I was hoping the reaction would be from a certain someone. It was easy to tell that Alec was conflicted. He loved who I was but also wanted me to be safe and that included from unwanted male attention. I understood that he felt like it was his job to protect me right along with Jon but seriously, did they not think I could take care of myself?

"The only person's neck these boots are going around is Aline's." I actually laughed at that but he didn't seem to find it quite as funny. I really didn't want to argue with him. We almost never fought and when we did, it wasn't over stupid shit like clothes. I decided to take another approach. "Relax, Alec. I'm a big girl you know."

"Actually, you are in fact a very small girl. Those heels aren't fooling anyone." He laughed. I rolled my eyes. I absolutely hated it when people gave me shit about being short but because it was Alec, I let it go. "But I know you can handle your own. When did you graduate from Chucks and combat boots anyway?"

"When I went shopping for school, _three months ago_. Mags decided some boots with heels were needed and I agreed. I don't always want to be 5'2", Alec. Sometimes it's nice to be able to look people in the eye," I explained. He chuckled. "And don't think for a second I'm giving up my chucks and combat boots."

"I guess that makes sense. I still don't like the lack of coverage that outfit is providing. I don't mind kicking ass but I hate watching people eye-fuck you," he grimaced. "No doubt Magnus will love it since you're getting use out of your new clothes. Jon won't be happy though. I'm gonna get an earful just for letting you leave the house like that." He sounded exasperated. I wanted to bring up the fact that no one lets me do anything but instead I tried to change the subject.

"Is he still here? We talked yesterday about taking more cars to school so it wouldn't be such a hassle with everyone's after school activities."

"He was leaving when I got out of the shower. He was headed to pick up Izzy." The tension in his shoulders was still evident.

"You need to chill, Alec. I know exactly the thing to calm you down." He rolled his eyes but seemed eager just the same. I made my way over to my cupboard to grab my bong and supplies. "We still have about twenty minutes before we need to leave and we can grab breakfast on the way out. You put the coffee on. I've been trying to cut down but it's soooo hard and I have a feeling we'll need it today." Alec started making us cups of coffee using the Keurig in my room. We met back on my couch and I loaded a bowl, taking a fat rip before I handed it to Alec. We passed the bong back and forth until it was nothing but ash. By the time we were finished smoking, we were both two cups of coffee down. It would be interesting to start the school day high but maybe it would help me cure some of the anxiety that I was starting to feel pulse through me. Trying to be provocative wasn't something I was super familiar with despite my show from the previous night, especially when it came to guys. I gave myself a mental pep talk as I took one last look in the mirror.

 _You_ _'_ _ll be great. You_ _'_ _re hot and you know how to work it. You_ _'_ _ve got this_

"Are you feeling better now?" He looked at me skeptically but I could tell from the glassiness of his eyes that he was feeling real good; I knew I was. I still felt like he needed reassuring though. "Look, I have a good reason for being dressed like this. Please just trust me?" I knew it would have the desired effect.

"Okay…I trust you. Let's just go before we're late."

I picked up my things, including my tattoo design and the sheet music for the new song I had been writing to give to Simon. I started heading for the door as Alec snatched his bag off the floor and followed me. We made our way to the kitchen, where I found two protein bars, plucked two apples off the table and pulled two bottles of water out of the fridge. I handed Alec his breakfast, which he accepted gratefully. I was pretty sure he had the munchies by that point because I sure did. We went out and hopped in my car to head to school.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I woke up from a heavy, dreamless sleep to the loud blaring of my alarm clock. It took conscious effort not to smash it with my fist but I had already gone through six in the last year and didn't want to have to go buy another one. I was starting to get strange looks from the guys at the electronics store I usually went to. I dragged my ass out of bed and into the bathroom. A few minutes later, I was in the shower, letting the heat relax my muscles. Without trying, thoughts of C popped into my head. The number she pulled on my lap last night had me hurting in the worst way. I left as soon as I could possibly walk, not even waiting for Jon to come back downstairs. When I finally got back to the Institute, both my parents were at the hospital, but Izzy was home so I had to sneak up to my room and take a very long, cold shower. I could've just taken care of my problem myself but Jace Herondale hadn't had a need to jerk off in a very long time. There were plenty of girls out there willing to do that for me, among other things. Even harder to get out of my head was the pure look of ecstasy C had on her face as Aline was eating her out. I wished I could have watched her cum. That was the face I wanted to see most. Actually, I wanted to be the cause of her orgasm and watch it as it happened but I'd take what I could get for now. Thinking about her half naked body and her 'O' face had me quickly stiffening. I immediately turned the faucet to cold and had to bite back a yelp when I felt the icy water hit my warm skin.

 _At least it seems to be helping with my boner. I know who else could help with my b-. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF! That_ _'_ _s how you got into this mess in the first place_

I washed my body as quickly as I could and got out. Wrapping a towel around my waist, I exited the bathroom and went to get dressed. My clothing choice for the day was about the same as usual, dark wash jeans and a tight t-shirt; today the color was white and you could see my intricate, black, tribal tattoos showing through. I put on my leather jacket, grabbed my backpack and made my way out of the house. My BMW 4 series convertible was parked in the garage and since I had no one to wait for today, I hopped in and made my way to school blasting and singing along to Three Days Grace all the way there.

When I pulled up, I noticed that Magnus, Bat and Maia were already there with Simon. Mags looked bored out of his mind and Simon looked like he was waiting for C but Bat and Maia were having a heated discussion. I jumped out of the car just as they came over to join me.

"What's up guys?" I asked.

"Just trying to explain the dynamics of football to Maia here. Despite being a cheerleader, she doesn't actually know anything about the sport," Bat looked as if he was getting frustrated so I joined in to try and help him out. A few minutes into me attempting to put football into layman's terms, C's GTO pulled up and Alec emerged. He came over, gave Magnus a kiss and gleaning what the discussion was about, decided to also assist with explaining the sport. I figured he'd have better luck since he was the one that explained it to his boyfriend who also knew nothing about sports.

I tried to stay focused but from the second _her_ car pulled up, all I could think about was last night. I could feel Magnus' eyes on me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. That was the unnerving thing about Magnus, he gave the impression of being so much older than his eighteen years and seemed to know everything even before you knew it yourself. Rat face had walked over to her side of the car and was just standing there talking to her.

 _Why the fuck is she always surrounded by cocks? And why can't I be one of them?_

I temporarily turned back to my friends but my attention was grabbed again when Ratface emerged holding a rolled up piece of paper and C was right behind him. She looked so sexy in her very, very short skirt and a tight red tank top that unbuttoned down the front and showed off her slightly muscular arms, tight stomach and belly button ring. Those boots that were screaming 'fuck me' weren't helping my sanity either. She bent over to adjust them and I got a great view of her cleavage. I nearly lost it. It was too difficult not to think about seeing what she was wearing underneath. What the fuck did she think she was doing dressing like that?

I hadn't even noticed that she had engaged Bat in conversation until I heard him say, "Girl, you are seriously pushing the limits. It's gonna be pretty hard on Jon and Alec trying to keep all those boys in line with you looking like that." I growled internally. I wanted her so bad. I tuned out their voices but still hadn't taken my attention off of her. My eyes were painting her body shamelessly, layer upon layer.

I was nearly oblivious to everyone walking into the school. It was like I was stuck. I just stood there and gaped at her. I knew I was sporting a full hard on now as I imagined doing things to her that Jon certainly wouldn't approve of and would certainly kill me over. Suddenly, she walked up to me, leaned in so her perfect tits were resting on my chest and let her breath caress my neck. I audibly gasped and Silently prayed to the Angel that she didn't hear it. She was killing me and all I wanted was to touch her. I was having a hard time accomplishing anything due to all the blood that had rushed from my head straight to my dick. C gently grabbed my neck and pulled me down lower so she could whisper to me. I put up no resistance.

"Alec told you what would happen if you left your mouth open for too long." She then used her fingers to physically close my mouth. If I thought I was hard before, this was on a whole different level. My brain finally sent the message to the rest of my body and I went to grab her but she was already walking away. I didn't understand why she was having this effect on me lately or what suddenly changed over the summer to put her on my radar. I readjusted myself to relieve some of the pressure on my indiscreet erection. Being a 'big guy' sometimes had it's downfalls. I had no idea what was happening but if every day was going to be like this, I needed to make a game plan. I didn't particularly enjoy cold showers.

 _ **C POV**_

We arrived and saw Jace, Simon, Magnus, Bat and Maia standing in the parking lot. I figured it was safe to assume that Aline had driven herself again that day since she wasn't with Si…or maybe it was her irritation with Jace that kept her from hanging out outside. I couldn't really blame her. If it weren't for my revenge plot and the fact that we had two classes together, I would have avoided him too. I had done it successfully for years. I parked next to Jace's convertible and stepped out of the car. I didn't want Jace to see me just yet so I called Simon over to my side and handed him his copy of the sheet music I had brought for him. He took it but spared a moment to look me up and down. Simon wasn't being creepy about it like most guys were.

"Lookin good, Morgenstern." I smiled in response. He looked down and unrolled the sheet music, giving my song a quick once over. "This looks good. I'll work on it a bit when I get home and then everyone else can pick it up at practice tomorrow."

"Sounds good. Can't wait to get all the guys in on it. I'm shocked I haven't seen them yet. I don't have classes with any of them. Where have they been hiding themselves for the past few days?"

"Honestly, they're trying to give you some space. I'm not alone in thinking you're working too hard. I apparently am alone in being able to deal with your crazy." I punched him in the arm. "Ow, calm your shit. You've been a little…" I scowled at him knowing exactly what he was gonna say. He seemed to think better of it, "…we'll call it snippy, with everyone during practice."

"I just want us to be the best, Si. We don't have that long before the battle and that means no screw ups. We have to be perfect at least for that. Parties don't matter as much but for BOTB, we _need_ to be per-fect."

"I get it, I really do but maybe you could turn it down a notch," he pleaded. I was too stoned for this conversation and I had a plan to enact.

"Okay, I'll try to not act like a psycho," I conceded. He gave me a smile and a thanks before he headed toward the entrance. I slunk to the other side of the car where everyone was standing around talking. Mags, after looking completely bored, perked up and checked out my outfit.

"Biscuit, you're really starting the year off with a bang. If only you'd wear a little glitter, everything would be perfect."

"Alec and I thought you'd like it. I think I'll continue to skip the glitter though if it's alright with you."

"Suit yourself," He said sounding a little defeated.

I turned to look over at the others meaning to completely ignore Jace and talk to Bat but Jace was already staring at me. His eyes smoldered, as if he wanted to strip all my clothes off right there in the parking lot. I'm sure it would have made any other girl immediately wet but besides being mildly amused, it didn't have much of an effect on me. I did, however, enjoy the fact that he was taking the bait.

"Hey, Bat! How's it going?" He walked up to give me a hug, both of us ignoring the slightly dirty look we were getting from Maia. She really had no love for me but accepted that since our circles crossed, that she'd have to put up with me.

"You know it's good." He grabbed my hand, held it up and pulled back to take me in. "Girl, you are seriously pushing the limits. It's gonna be pretty hard on Jon and Alec trying to keep all those boys in line with you looking like that," he laughed. This made me smile which Bat seemed to be causing quite a lot lately.

"So I've heard. Let them talk. I can handle my own."

"You are kinda badass," Bat said with a giant grin on his face.

"Damn right!" It was amazing how a conversation with Bat could make me feel. He felt safe and he was so good to me compared to my brother's other friends. "Hey, are we still on for today after school? I brought the design with me."

"Damn right!" he said, mimicking my earlier response.

The first bell was about to ring so everyone gathered their stuff and started heading toward the main doors; everyone with the exception of me and Jace. He was still looking at me like he was undressing me with his eyes. The normally honey colored orbs shined molten gold. I noticed a bulge in his pants and a small smile appeared on my lips. I sauntered over to him and made sure to stop so our bodies were close but not touching. I leaned in until my chest was resting against his and put my head as close to his ear as possible. I heard an intake of breath next to me and smiled even bigger. I put my hand on his neck and pulled him closer.

"Alec told you what would happen if you left your mouth open for too long," I whispered as I used my hand to close it. I removed my breasts and hand from his body and walked toward the front door, leaving Jace in the dust.

I moved as quickly as I could to get to my locker. Aline and Simon were nowhere in sight so I assumed they had already gone to class. Shortly after I got there, I saw Jace coming down the hallway and figured it was as good a time as any to forward my plan a little more. On top of getting him back, it was also liberating to see how much power I had. I didn't see anyone else around so I strategically waited for him to get close enough and helped my books fall out of my locker. Even though I wasn't looking at him, I knew he was close behind me. I bent over slowly and could feel his eyes on me. I peeked over my shoulder at him and when I saw the look on his face, I couldn't help but smile.

 _This must be why most of the girls at this school act like whores. They can get whatever they want just by using their bodies. This is so not me but it works for now_

His eyes were still that molten gold color and I could see that now familiar bulge in his pants. He walked away and I followed a little way behind. I turned the corner and saw him talking to Kaelie. Even though I wasn't close enough to hear, I figured out what was going on when I saw her drag him off in the direction of the auditorium. That'd been Jace's hookup spot since at least my Freshman year. I couldn't imagine any other place he'd be going that was in that direction which meant he was playing right into my hands.

 _He really is making this too easy_

The next phase of my plan would commence shortly after the bell rang. This was a game I was going to win.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I walked through the doors and continued down the hall to my locker, trying to shut down my brain. I had a nagging feeling that I was forgetting something but couldn't grasp it. After grabbing my book for AP English, I made my way down the hallway. I was coming up on C's locker and had just dared to glance at her when I saw her books hit the floor. I mentally knew what logically came next but I was still all anticipation. She bent over to pick her books up and I got to stare at her glorious ass wrapped in tight material.

 _HO-LY FUCK! The things I could do to that ass_

I looked around but quickly surmised I was the only one currently close in the hallway. I wanted to think of it like my own private show. I couldn't figure out when she got so sexy. Yeah, she was hot in her very small bikini but now even clothed she was managing to blow me away. Granted, she wasn't wearing a whole lot. Her body was so small but looked somehow slightly muscular, probably from kickboxing but soft in all the right places. C glanced at me over her shoulder and gave me a shy smile.

 _Does she know how bad she is fuckin turning me on? Ugghhh! .Torture_

I wanted so badly to touch her. To feel every curve of her body. I knew I couldn't though. It was a very bad idea. Even if I could dare to try she wouldn't let me. I needed to do something though. I needed to find Kaelie or Seelie and get one of them alone to relieve my growing need. They would be the easiest to convince to skip first period. I was sure I'd barely even have to ask.

 _C is just a hot girl. There are a lot of hot girls in this school. Which hot girl I get with doesn_ _'_ _t really matter does it? Fuck!_

Not being able to take it anymore, I immediately set out to find them and see if one of them was willing to skip first period with me and hookup in the auditorium. I needed to be inside someone. The tightness in my jeans was becoming unbearable and I required a release of the pressure before my head exploded. I found Kaelie first, as she was walking to her class. She was wearing a flared out, tiered pink mini skirt and a white tank top that showed off her stomach with white stilettos. I fell in step beside her.

 _Oh yeah, this is exactly what I need. Time to put on my game face, not that it will take much effort_

"You're looking especially hot today," I said with a smirk.

"Oh hey, Jacie. You like?" She fluttered her eyelashes. I tried not to cringe at the nickname they had given me.

 _What self respecting dude wants to be called Jacie?_

"What are you up to?"

"I was thinking about skipping first period to take a little detour and was hoping you'd join me." I knew she'd be putty in my hands. I leaned over and spoke to her in an undertone, "Are you cumming?" hoping she might understand the double meaning but knowing it was unlikely.

I didn't have time to do anything before she pretty much dragged me to the auditorium. We ended up on the balcony and before I knew it, she had my pants down and my cock in her mouth. I was finally gonna get what I wanted even if it wasn't with the person I wanted.

 _ **C POV**_

Mr Gray walked in and made his way to the whiteboard. We were assigned an in-class essay to work on with our partner. Mr Gray noticed Jace was the only one missing and asked me where he was. I knew this was my chance, if it was timed right, to not only give him a massive case of blue balls but also make it so he could never take girls there to hook up again. Everything was falling into place just as I'd hoped.

"I think he may be in the auditorium. I saw him heading that way before I came to class," I provided, trying to sound and look as innocent as possible. He walked over to the phone and dialed a number. Mr Gray explained to someone on the other side of the line that Mr Herondale was to be located in the auditorium and asked that the person please take care of it. About twenty minutes later, Jace walked into class with Beef as an escort and sat down at his desk. He had a sour look about him that made me want to whoop in triumph. I held my laugh in but from the look of his pants, I could tell that whatever he'd been doing, he absolutely did not get to finish.

 _How does it feel, bitch!_

I saw him looking at me out of the corner of my eye. His eyes were on my thighs and I knew I had him in my grasp. We spent the rest of the class working on our essay. During that time, I uncrossed and recrossed my legs at least 4 times and constantly played with the hem of my skirt. It was slowly getting pushed higher and higher up my thigh. I managed to consistently keep my mouth active, by using my teeth to play with my bottom lip. I was a pretty good distraction. He seemed to be having a hard time focusing his eyes on anything but my lips or my creamy skin. I asked him multiple times why he had been escorted in by Beef and all he would tell me was that he was caught skipping class. I was pretty proud of myself. The score was C-2, Jace-0. When class ended, I got up quickly and marched out the door back to my locker to grab my pre cal book. I could feel his eyes on me the entire way. I had never felt so much power over anyone. It was so good and the fact that it was Jace that I was making squirm made it so much better.

 _ **Jace POV**_

Kaelie was on her knees sucking me off. Honestly, she wasn't the best blowjob I'd ever gotten but she would do. She was holding my cock and pumped while using her tongue to slide up my shaft and circle the head. I thrusted my hips forward and tried to grab her hair to get her to take me deeper into her mouth but she wasn't having it today. Despite that, I was actually pretty close to cumming just from the built up tension. Just before I was about to blow, I heard the doors to the auditorium open. I looked down from the balcony to see that Beef had just entered. I instinctively pulled back and moved to pull my pants up but Kaelie was still gripping me like she was hanging on for dear life. Beef took one look up to the balcony and seemed to know exactly what was going on from the expression on my face.

"Get your ass down here, Herondale. You're supposed to be in class. You too, whoever you are." I had literally gotten caught with my pants down and Kaelie was along for the ride. Kaelie finally seemed to figure out that she could let go. She wiped her mouth, ran her fingers through her hair and stood up. "Uh huh, I should have known. Let's get a move on you two. We need to get you back to class but first, we're gonna take the scenic route to the principal's office," he scolded.

I zipped up my pants and we walked down the stairs to stand in front of Beef. I tried to stare him down but had a rough time really getting into it after shoving my overly hard member back into my jeans.

 _Talk about having blue balls. Damn! How long can someone have a hard on before causing permanent damage again?_

He gave me a smug look and escorted Kaelie and I to our doom. We sat down in the chairs outside the principal's office to wait. We were there for about five minutes in silence before Kaelie got called in to talk to Principal Aldertree. She came out a few minutes later but passed on by without looking at me and went to stand next to Beef. It was my turn to see our weird ass principal so I sauntered in and sat down in the indicated location.

"So I heard you were performing sexual acts in the auditorium during the beginning of first period. I'm assuming that meant you were also planning on skipping class?" he enquired.

" _I_ wasn't doing anything but let me tell you, I _received_ quite the performance. It may even call for an encore."

"I suggest you watch your mouth and your attitude, Mr Herondale. You're already in enough trouble as it is…Now, the punishment for this little indiscretion will be two months of Saturday school. You will perform those every Saturday, without fail beginning this weekend. Of course, the auditorium doors, all of them," he said sternly, "will be locked from now on. You can count on that."

"Got it. Can I go now?" I asked impatiently.

"Yes. Beef will be escorting Miss Whitewillow and yourself back to class. Behave and enjoy the rest of your day."

I rolled my eyes, stood up and exited the office. When Beef saw me, he beckoned for us to follow him and escorted Kaelie and I back through the halls. He dropped her off in health first and then came back out to take me to AP English. He made sure to stay with me until I took my seat next to C and then left. I looked over at her and the first thing I noticed was her teeth making little indentations in her lip from biting down on it. She brushed some of her hair off her shoulder and uncrossed then recrossed her legs. She tried to explain the assignment to me but it took a few attempts before I understood what we were supposed to be doing. My eyes were alternating back in forth from her legs to her mouth.

"Why did Beef escort you in?" C asked curiously. For some reason, I didn't want her know what I'd been doing. Even if I was pretty sure she knew the answer, I didn't want her to hear the words. And after the fifth time of her asking, I told her I got caught skipping class which wasn't a lie but obviously wasn't the whole truth either.

We finally made it to the end of class after spending the time working on our essay although the work was mostly hers. C got up really fast and rocketed out of the room. I watched her walk down the hallway before grabbing my own stuff and exiting to go to History. But first, my body demanded a trip to the bathroom for readjustment.

 _ **C POV**_

Second period came and went. We spent the entire class listening to a lecture about algebraic equations and copying down problems to do as homework. That didn't give any of us time to talk and I thanked the Angel for that. Jon looked at me like he wanted to scold me when he saw what I was wearing and that look hadn't left his face since. I tried to ignore his angry glances and continued to copy down equations.

My real thrill was for Spanish. I hurried to my locker, shared a few quick words with Aline and Simon and then got to class just before the late bell rang. Jace had his eyes on me the second I appeared in the doorway. I went over and sat down next to him at our table. This was my perfect excuse to touch him since we were so close together. I would brush my leg against his or our arms would touch. Physical contact with a guy wasn't something I was used to unless it was to hug a close friend. I could tell Jace was affected by it. I heard his breath hitch in his throat more than once. I was still kind of in shock that I could've done that to him. That he was reacting to me as much as he was. Once again, I was soothed by the rush of power and that made me feel bold. I made my touches and brushes more significant all while trying to make it look like an accident. When class was over, I stood up but noticed Jace wasn't following. I had to have done a number on him for him to have to sit there after the bell rang just to calm down.

I stopped at my locker on my way to lunch and pushed my book in. I got into the lunchroom and stood in line to get my usual fruit, sandwich and juice combination. I looked over and saw Jon sitting at his table, deep in conversation with his buddies. I walked over and sat down next to him, facing the opposite way in my chair. I knew the reprimanding was about to commence but I hoped he would hold off actually raising his voice while we were in front of his friends.

"Clare, what in the actual fuck are you wearing?" He seethed.

"I'm wearing clothes Jon-Jon. It's what people put on before they walk out the doors so they aren't exposed to the whole world," I pointed out, sarcastically.

"Don't be a smart ass. You know, you're making this whole protective big brother thing pretty hard." I looked across the table at some of the guys and saw what he meant. Their eyes were raking up and down my body like I was the only glass of water in the middle of the desert. The cheerleaders that were there were glaring at me, I assumed because some of their boyfriends were the ones checking me out. Just then, Jace made his way over to the table and sat down next to Jon.

"I don't see what the big deal is. I don't need protecting. I'm not a child. I'm not gonna let a few cockbags dictate the way I dress and if they want to look, let them look because that's as far as they're gonna get."

"But Clare-," he pleaded before I interrupted him.

"No buts, Jon. Besides, I look good. Don't you think I look good, Jace?" I prodded, knowing that whatever answer he gave would be amusing and get a reaction out of Jon. He seemed to think carefully before responding which was unusual for him.

He looked nervous but answered anyway. "You look…amazing," he replied while looking at Jon sheepishly. I knew he was waiting for my brother to pounce. Surprisingly, I thought Jace had probably come up with just the right word to keep Jon from freaking out.

"Well, if Jace thinks you look 'amazing' then I know I really have a problem on my hands."

"You worry too much, Jon-Jon. Like I said, I can take care of myself," and with that, I got up and left to go join my friends out in the courtyard.

 _ **~*0*0*0*~**_

The rest of the day flew by. Bat and I had a lot of good laughs in Art but we were both itching to get to the shop so we could get to work on my tat. I drove straight there and threw my hair up in a messy bun before sitting down so he could get started. After three hours of leaning forward and some really bad hand cramping on Bat's part, we decided to call it a night. He handed me a mirror and I stood in front of the giant one on the back wall so I could admire his handy work. My starry night sky was coming along great and I expressed my appreciation with a hug and a huge tip. I left shortly after and made my way home.

When I got there, Jace and Jon were just sitting on opposite ends of the couch watching Django Unchained on Netflix. I really wanted to go to the gym but I knew intentionally sweating right after getting work done would be a bad idea. Besides, this was my last chance of the day to get to Jace so I went up to my room, got undressed and put on my matching black boy shorts and crop tank top pajamas. I threw my dirty clothes in the hamper and hung my leather jacket back up in my armoire. There was a buzzing noise that came from my bag and I realized it was my phone. It was Alec.

Hey. I won't be by tonight. I'm staying at Magnus'. Love you ~A

Love you too. Don't do anything I wouldn't do ~C

That pretty much leaves everything open, right? lol ~A

Fuck off! You're lucky you're my better half ~C

I know and you're lucky you're mine. Gotta go. See you tomorrow xo ~A

I rolled a blunt, stuck it behind my ear and booked it back downstairs. Jace was checking me out as I entered the room but quickly turned back to the movie. I went straight through to the kitchen to grab a bottle of whiskey and three shot glasses before I walked back into the living room and sat down between the two boys. I set the three shot glasses and the blunt down on the coffee table but Jon and Jace were too into their movie to notice. Finally I decided to speak up.

"Hey, you guys wanna smoke a blunt with me?"

"Clare, it's a school night. You know I don't smoke on school nights anymore," Jon said.

"Okay. How about taking some shots with me then? I just got back from seeing Bat and my back hurts like a bitch."

"If you can't handle the pain th-" he chuckled.

"Fuck off, Jon. I can handle the pain. It's a just a little sore…and it's a good excuse to drink. I'd ask Alec but he's staying at Mags' tonight and you know Aline's parents won't let her sleep over on school nights. And of course Simon is at Soundwave."

"I don't know Clare Bear."

"Fine. I'll just get fucked up by myself. I won't bother you anymore. Later, bitches." I got up and planned to take my party favors with me but Jace snatched the Crown Royal before I could even lay a finger on it. He had been quiet up to this point but obviously that was about to change.

"I'm in," he said looking at me with his aureate eyes slightly darkened. He then turned and looked at Jon. "What? Not everyone is a good boy like you, Jon."

"Fine but everyone better be up on time for school tomorrow and Jace, you're sleeping here bro. You can have your usual room," Jon ordered.

"Yay, drinking and smoking alone is boring. I'm ordering Chinese. I'm not pulling an Izzy just because I was too intoxicated to cook properly. But tonight is the last night this week we're eating crap food. I haven't been to the gym or even down to the basement since Saturday and I'm starting to feel like a sloth."

"Deal," Jon agreed, "Now go order our food wench." I smacked him on the back of his head and left the room to go place our order.

I came back a few minutes later after ordering enough food to feed ten people and lit up the blunt. Jace poured us all shots and before the blunt was done with, we had each had four a piece. I was feeling really good. We were just about to start playing Rock Band when the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of our food. Without thinking about my attire, I raced to open the door. I threw it open to find a tall guy with gray eyes, black hair that fell just below his ears and both his lip and eyebrow pierced standing at the door. He was holding our bag of Chinese food.

 _He is a hottie. I wonder whether he comes with the food_

"Wow. If everyone answers the door like that, I'll have to do my cousin favors more often." I looked down and realized I was not wearing enough clothes for a stranger to see me. My face was already flushed from the liquor but I felt even more heat rush to my cheeks.

"Yeah, well I doubt you'll get this lucky again. Most people don't have pajamas like these," I said smiling at him.

"I'm Aiden by the way," he held his hand out to me, "and you are?"

"I'm a girl who doesn't introduce herself to strange guys standing at her door at ten o'clock at night, even if they are bringing her nourishment."

"Smart girl. Maybe I'll see you at school then. I'll be moving here in a month with my sister. I could use a friend to show me the ropes when we finally get settled in."

"Maybe, we'll see." I heard Jon call from the living room.

"H-h-hey, wheeeere's our fooood?" Jon slurred.

"Y-y-yyeah, where's sthe foooodat?" Jace added.

"Ummm…how much for the food? I really gotta get back in there. As you can hear, there are two boys that can't hold their liquor in my house waiting for food and obviously I have some catching up to do on the drinking front BECAUSE THEY ARE ASSHOLES WHO COULDN'T WAIT FOR ME," I yelled the last part over my shoulder so they would hear me. My comment was met with 'heys' from the two.

"Your boyfriends?" He asked, nonchalantly. I laughed.

"No, my brother and his best friend whom I actually can't stand." he looked relieved. I was just gonna tell him about Aline when Jon yelled again.

"FOOD!"

"Shit! I really gotta go," He told me how much we owed. I grabbed the food and handed him the money. "Keep the change and I guess I'll see you at school sometime." I went to shut the door but Aiden stopped me. He started to ask me something but then a very drunk Jace made his way to the door.

 ** _Jace POV_**

I was incredibly drunk. After C went to the door, Jon and I decided to take a few shots on our own and they were already starting to hit me since I hadn't eaten anything since right before Football practice. We were getting really impatient for food and it seemed like it was taking her forever at the door. I got up off the couch and decided to see what was keeping her. As I got closer, I heard a guy's voice and figured I had a pretty good idea what was causing the delay. I grabbed the door and threw it open the rest of the way.

"W-w-whater ya doin?"

"Hey man, I'm Aiden. We were just talking and getting to know each other a little bit."

"Y-yyeah we don't hab timefer taaalking. C'mon, more drinking 'n foooood." I grabbed C's arm and started pulling her in while I shut the door in the douche's face.

"Have a good night," he yelled around the door just before it clicked shut.

"W-w-what was thaaat?" I asked her.

"His name's Aiden. He'll be going to our school in a month. We were talking and he wants to be friends." I felt instantly sober but still sounded extremely drunk.

"W-w-what aboutAline?" I asked when I really meant what about me.

"Relax Grandpa! It's not like we had sex in the doorway. We were just talking. Said he wanted someone to show him around when they finally moved here. What's it to you anyway?"

"Y-y-yeah, shhure," deliberately ignoring her question. I still had enough wits about me to know I still needed to keep the upper hand. I walked back to the table, picked up the bottle and chugged down what felt like at least five shots. The bottle was three quarters of the way empty.

"Hey bitch, save some alcohol for the people who really need it." She elbowed me and snatched the bottle from my hand and downed the rest.

"T-t-thas whhat um talkin 'bout, little shishter," Jon said. "Now lesss eat n'play smmmm RockBand."

We ate food, grabbed another two bottles of liquor and played Rock Band with Jon on drums, me on guitar and C on vocals until around one in the morning. We put Constantine on but I was so fucked up, I passed out on the couch not too long after. I felt someone eventually help me off the couch, nearly drag me up the stairs and put me to bed where I very quickly drifted back to sleep.

 **Hope you all liked the extra long chapter. Don't forget to review! Also, I think I'm looking for a Beta. If anyone wants to help me out, that'd be chill.**


	6. Just Gimme The Light

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 _A/N: Don't Forget to Review!_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Mischief Brew - Roll Me Through The Gates of Hell***

 ***Sean Paul - Gimme The Light***

 ***Face to Face - Struggle***

 ***The Independents - Red Hot Moon (C's Anthem)***

 _ **C POV**_

The first thing I heard when I came back to consciousness was an incessant pounding. I winced as I noticed the pain in my head. It sounded like a jackhammer and I just wanted it to stop. I came to realize that the pounding was coming from the door. I had actually remembered to lock it last night, hoping that if Jon couldn't get into my room that maybe I'd get away with skipping school. Not that I never skipped but not without Jon getting pissed. Skipping never effected my grades because participation wasn't a big thing and I made up for it in work and extra credit but Jon didn't care. He was determined to do a good job with me and I loved him for it but I wasn't in the mood to deal with that today. I should have known better than to believe he'd let me stay home, especially when we had something to make the 'I got ran over by a freight train' feeling disappear in about fifteen minutes.

I tried to ignore the knocking but after what I was probably imagining to be about five minutes, I just couldn't take it anymore. I hesitantly glanced at my clock and realized we still had like an hour and a half before we had to be at school. It only took me about forty-five minutes to get ready on a bad day so I didn't understand why he was waking me up so early. In that moment, I was feeling murderous. Getting up slowly, I made my way over and unlocked the door to find my brother standing there, smiling with a tray that held four cups and two spoons.

"Jon, I am having extremely mixed feelings right now. I can't decide whether I want to kick your ass or kiss your face." I reached for the cups but he pulled back.

"I think if I had to choose, I'd go with the kiss to the face but I'd prefer if you stayed over there. You smell like you crawled out of a bottle of Whiskey and as you can see, I've already showered." He ruffled his wet hair, spraying me in the process and then moved the tray back over, allowing me to grab two of the cups and my spoons. I downed the first cup, seeing the familiar fizzy liquid and then took a more careful sip of the second. "I made your coffee exactly how you like it."

"Black like my soul." I grinned. "Thanks for being chill about last night and then taking care of me this morning." I tried not to spill my coffee and wrapped my arms around his middle while he put his over my shoulders. We released each other a few seconds later. "Now that we've got the mushy shit out of the way, why the fuck are you waking me up so early? I know I take longer than you to get ready; I am a girl after all but it doesn't take me this long." I was trying not to raise my voice, if only to spare myself the pain.

"We're going to Taki's for breakfast. Go shower and meet me downstairs. Hurry up. He began walking back down the stairs but turned back around after only a few steps. "And for the Angel's sake, wear something that covers some skin," he pleaded.

I had started to shut the door but paused when I heard him speak again. "We are not having this conversation today, Jon. I am still too hungover and the breakfast of champions awaits which means we do not have time for this argument." I closed the door and headed for the bathroom.

I held the backs of the frozen spoons over my eyes for about five minutes, trying to reduce the size of the bags I knew would be there before heading off to the shower. I emerged around fifteen minutes later smelling amazing and with my hair hanging straight to the middle of my back and my side swept bangs. I pulled out a black lace bra and thong set and put them on. Then I walked into my closet and pulled out a cropped, long sleeved crimson/charcoal plaid shirt that showed off my stomach and a pleated charcoal skirt that hit three quarters of the way down my thigh with thick, black leather trim all around the bottom. I paired it with knee high, 3 inch, black platform leather boots that had straps going all the way up and down. I put on my wristbands even though I was wearing a long sleeve shirt, just in case I needed to roll up my sleeves. I used some concealer to cover the dark circles under my eyes and decided to stick with eyeliner that I smudged into a thick line all around my eye and a few coats of mascara with blood red lipstick. When I looked in the mirror, I decided I liked what I saw. I had some height so once again, my ass looked great. I grabbed a cream, short peacoat style twill jacket, a bag, the empty cups and the now warm spoons before I headed downstairs. Jon was sitting on the couch when I made it to the living room. He stood up and looked at me, tilting his head to the side.

"Well, that's a little better. At least it covers more."

"I'm glad you approve but let me make it clear that I didn't do this for you. This just so happens to be what I wanted to wear today," I informed him before walking into the kitchen. I put my cups and spoons in the dishwasher before sticking 2 new spoons in the freezer. I wanted to take some water with me to school so I opened the fridge to grab a bottle but as I shut the the door and turned around, I was met with a pair of wide golden eyes.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I woke up with light streaming from the window onto my face. When I cracked an eyelid, I instantly cringed at the pain radiating through my skull, which only made it worse. I decided it was best to keep my eyes closed for the time being. I tried to remember something, anything but everything from the previous night was a blur. I buried my head with the pillow, trying desperately to hide from the day. I groaned, loudly. After I covered my head, I took a deep breath, inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth, hoping to stifle the waves in my stomach. The realization then came that I was not in my bed. I began to freak out for a moment wondering what the hell happened and how I ended up in someone else's bed without knowing how I got there. I groaned again, wondering how I got myself into these messes. I was perfectly fine with going home with someone else but I preferred to actually remember the experience. I went as far as checking to see whether I was wearing any clothes-

 _Boxers, check_

to feeling whether there was someone next to me-

 _I'm alone. Interesting_

 _-_ before realizing that I knew that smell. I slowly took the pillow off my face and peeled my eyelids open. The room around me was painted blue and gray with a little bit of white here and there for accent. This was a room that I knew well. It had been my home away from home since I was twelve and didn't want to sleep on Jon's floor anymore. I slowly crawled out of bed, made my way to the door and opened it. I was met with Jon's grinning face staring back at me, holding a tray with two cups on it.

"Ahhhhh!" I yelled, exacerbating the throbbing in my dome. I put my hand up to rub my forehead. "What the fuck are you doing outside the door, creeper? And what happened last night?" I whispered, attempting to have mercy on myself.

"I was just about to knock and see if you were up but-

"Please, Jon. For the love of the Angel, quietly." He laughed but it did sound like he tried to do so lightly, even if it didn't make much difference.

"I was saying I was going to knock and wake you up for school but then you opened the door before I could." He first handed me the famous Morgenstern hangover cure that C had invented at thirteen. We christened it The Light and it consisted of some secret ingredients that only the two Morgensterns knew. It literally made you capable of once again, seeing the light of day and it only took about fifteen minutes to work. It was because of this epic hangover cure that even though we had tons of parties over the years and generally got pretty shitfaced, the next morning's pain never lasted long.

The second thing Jon handed me was a cup of black coffee with just the right amount of sugar. They were both just what the doctor ordered "And what happened is you tried to go head to head with my sister in a battle of 'who can drink the most'. I told you it was a bad idea but you wouldn't listen. You're lucky I'm a good friend and brought you The Light and coffee anyway. I should've made you go get them yourself." He flashed me a toothy grin and I gave him the finger. He was right about one thing though. Obviously, I had made a severe mistake. I was only trying to lower her inhibitions a little bit but I had no idea how much alcohol she was capable of consuming. Who knew it would've been enough to make someone a foot taller than her and two times her weight black out while she was fine.

"Yeah. That's the first and only time I try that. The last thing I remember is talking about playing Rock Band. How did I even get to bed?"

"Seriously? Well, I guess it makes sense. You guys went through another bottle and a half after she finished off the first one. I stopped drinking halfway through the second bottle." I cringed at his words. I couldn't believe we drank that much. But considering the way I was feeling, it figured.

"And C was the one who dragged your ass up the stairs. With very little help from you might I add. I was gonna just let you sleep there. I was way too obliterated to do anything with you. I know better than to try and best my sister at some things despite her being smaller and younger."

 _She put me to bed?_

"I'm surprised _she_ didn't just leave me there. Since when is she nice to me?"

"I don't know but take it as a win. It may never happen again." He began laughing again as he walked away from my door and headed downstairs. "Get ready for school. We have an hour and a half before we have to be there," he shouted back at me.

"Why the fuck did you wake me up so early? It doesn't take me that long to get ready. I just naturally look this good," I hollered in response. I figured I must have gotten to bed sometime around two-thirty or three and even though our miracle cure was starting to kick in, my pillow was calling me.

"We're going to Taki's for breakfast. We don't have anything to cook since we haven't had groceries delivered yet and you know that The Light always works best with greasy breakfast food to accompany it." He made a very good point. Nothing like pancakes, sausage, hash browns and eggs to complete the magic, unless Roy had something better on the menu.

"Fine. I'm in. Give me twenty."

I picked out some clothes and made my way to the shower. It took me nearly twenty-five minutes just to finish because I couldn't make myself move out from underneath the hot water. After putting on black boxers and dressing in dark wash jeans, a black t-shirt and my black Adidas, I ended up downstairs close to forty minutes later. I was not prepared for what I saw in front of me when I made it to the kitchen to dispose of my cups. I seemed to be having a hard time swallowing. She looked sexy as hell but also extremely badass in her boots and short skirt. I lost the power of speech for a moment. I just managed to keep my mouth closed this time. C cleared her throat and pulled me out of the trance I seemed to be in. A few seconds later, I apparently regained the power of speech because I was able to talk.

"You put me to bed this morning? I woke up not remembering much but Jon filled me in on the basics. Why didn't you just leave me on the couch?" I wasn't sure what I was hoping to hear but what came next certainly wasn't it.

"Let's chalk it up to clouded, drunken judgement and never mention it again, _Jacie._ Now come on. I need food to function." She smirked and made to walk around me but was blocked by my hulking figure as I moved in front of her. My enthusiasm was immediately stifled.

"Fuck! You're not gonna start calling me that are you? How the fuck did you even hear about it?"

"Let's just say that the sluts you surround yourself with don't know how to keep secrets. It's like a constant stream about how your dick is this magical scepter that spews out cotton candy flavored rainbows or some shit." She laughed deeply and I couldn't help but grin.

"Oh come on, sex kitten. You know you want to hear about how special my rather large package is." She walked up and grabbed my face with her hands, squishing my cheeks so my lips puckered. She began shaking my head back and forth gently.

"Oh Jacie, you were doing so well. Why'd you have to go and call me that name of all things? After last night, I finally thought we were beginning to understand each other." She said with sarcasm as she let go of my face. "Guess not."

"So you can call me Jacie but I'm not allowed to call you sex kitten?" She seemed to think about it for a moment.

"You've been calling me sex kitten for years. I've got some catching up to do."

"I'll give you that but I still fuckin hate it."

"Uh huh. And that's why I love it." The smirk never left her face as she walked around me and out of the room.

"You know you could have joined me in bed last night," I shouted after her. "I wouldn't have minded."

"In your dreams, Herondale. Did you suddenly forget that you happen to be my least favorite person on the planet?" That left me feeling something I couldn't quite identify but before I could decide whether I wanted to analyze it or not, my thoughts were interrupted by my best friend.

"Come on you two, let's head to Taki's," Jon said as we transferred from the kitchen to the living room, obviously not hearing our previous conversation.

"Fine but I'm texting Alec and telling him to bring Mags and meet us there. I need some intellectual stimulation and I'm certainly not gonna get it from hanging out with you two."

"Hardy-Har-Har," Jon mocked. C stuck her tongue out at him and made her way to the front door. "I'm gonna text Izzy too. Jace and I will meet you there, Clare Bear."

"Fine by me." C grabbed her aviators from the cabinet by the door and we all exited the house and shuffled out to our cars.

When we got to Taki's, Alec and Magnus were just pulling up in Alec's BMW X5 SUV. Izzy's Audi S3 was parked next to it but she wasn't in it. We gathered together and all headed inside. It wasn't crowded at all which I supposed was to be expected for it being breakfast time in the middle of the week. We saw Iz sitting at a circular booth in the back corner, in front of the windows and joined her. It was only a couple of minutes before one of our favorite people showed up.

"Well, good morning ladies and gents." She had a coffee pot in her hand and began filling the mugs on the table.

"Hey, Phyl!" we all welcomed, nearly in unison.

"What can I get you all to eat today? The basics? Or…the breakfast special this week is biscuits & meat lover's gravy. Sausage, Bacon _and_ Ham in that," she sang, excitedly. "Growing boys need their meat, Not that any of you boys need to grow anymore. Actually, maybe Clarissa is the one who would benefit most from all that protein since Izzy is already an Amazon," Phyl stated in her warm voice. She chuckled and removed the pencil from her graying hair that was always up in a messy bun, getting ready to fill out a slip for our order.

"Nothing is gonna help me at this point but I'll take some anyway," C grinned at her.

Phyllis and her husband Roy had owned Taki's since the seventies. They completely remodeled the inside of the place when they bought it and gave it the look of a retro diner but they left the outside mostly how it was, boarded up and dusty. The fact that it looked like an abandoned building only helped to make it the best kept secret in the world, let alone New York, as far as we were concerned.

Phyl and Roy were like the cool older people that everyone wanted for grandparents. They used to be like hippies or something. He worked in the kitchen, making his amazing creations and she hosted and took care of everything else. Phyl was a blunt woman who was sweet as hell but would also give it to you straight. She always asked, 'Are we taking a spoon full of sugar today or a spoon full of salt, kid?' and then she'd either coddle you and tell you exactly what you _wanted_ to hear or give you 'real talk' and tell you exactly what you _needed_ to hear; sometimes both if it was called for. Roy was generally a quiet guy who stuck mostly to the kitchen but he loved to tell stories about back in the day. He enjoyed showing off his cooking skills and spent hours each weekend coming up with the specials for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the week. He always appreciated company though and never hesitated to provide a hair net if you wanted to join him for taste testing in the kitchen.

All of us, with the exception of Magnus, had been going to Taki's since we were kids so our families knew each other well. They came to our birthday parties and we hung out with their grandkids when they came to visit from the France. I lost my virginity to one of the twins, Arianna, when I was thirteen.

"Sounds great Phyl, tell Roy I'm in," I replied handing her my menu.

"Me too, Phyl. Sounds amazing," Jon agreed.

"I'm down," Alec chimed in.

"Hmmm….Yeah, I think we're all gonna have some of that," Magnus said while looking around the table to make sure everyone was in agreement.

"You're gonna love it. Best biscuits & gravy I've ever had. So what's new with you fine, upstanding examples of good teenage behavior." We all had a laugh at that. "I normally don't get this many of you at the same time so this is a treat."

"As you know, school is back in session. My grades are stellar as usual but for _some_ reason, it already sucks." C turned her head to me and glared.

"Here's your spoonful of sugar for the day, kid. Chin up, everything gets better with time."

"Make way for Phyl, the fortune teller," C said, with as much mockery as she could muster on one cup of coffee.

"That's Madame Phyl to you. Call me now for your free reading," Phyl responded in her best Jamaican accent, which made us all laugh.

"Jon and I are trying to get our campaigns together for student council," offered Izzy.

"That's excellent. That makes this, what? The third year in a row? I'm sure you can make it happen again Isabelle. You and Jonathan certainly know what you're doing by now."

"We're having our annual BTS party this weekend," Jon explained.

"Ahhh, yes. Well, you know what I say about parties. Have fun, be safe and I won't have to kick your asses as long as you make sure you all follow my rules. Let's review. What are my rules again?" She asked as she tapped her chin.

"No one drives home. No one gets arrested. No one gets pregnant," Jon recited. "We've got this, Phyl. Don't worry."

"You better have it, Jonathan. It's your house, your responsibility." She pointed at each one of us and said, "that doesn't mean the rest of you can slack off. You're gonna be held accountable too. You're all almost adults so you make sure you help Jonathan out."

"We promise we'll be safe," I said.

"Alright then, that's all I ask. I'll go put in your orders. Jen will bring it out to you in about ten minutes. A fresh batch of biscuits is about to come out of the oven." She winked at us and walked back to the counter to give Roy our order.

Jon and Izzy were having what looked to be a private conversation so I tuned into the one C was having with Alec, hoping to gather some intel.

"Soooo, Bad Religion is coming in a couple months. Tickets go on sale next Saturday. I'm gonna pick mine up before my opening. Simon already said he was coming but do you want to go, Alec?" C asked.

"Count me in," Alec said. "You know how I feel about Greg Graffin's voice and it's kinda like tradition now. Who's opening?"

"They are coming with four bands. Millencollin, Authority Zero, Pat the Bunny and Defiance, Ohio. I've got their discographies on my Macbook. They've already been uploaded to my music cloud so all you have to do is log on to stream or download."

"I already love Millencollin and Authority Zero but I'll check it out after school today so I can see about the other two."

"I'm coming too," Magnus interjected. "I've never been to a punk show and I wanna see what it's like." I was curious what it was like as well. The closest thing I'd seen to a punk show was Good Charlotte at fifteen.

Just then, Jen came up and placed our food on the table. We all dug in, not making any effort toward conversation. We finished quickly.

"I think I can handle the world now," Jon said with the last drink of his coffee. "Breakfast is on me guys. Let's get out of here." We left the money on the table with a generous tip and said goodbye to Phyl and Roy before walking out the door.

Time to face school.

 _ **C POV**_

When we arrived at school, I made a quick stop at my locker and I immediately made my way to my first class. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, especially Aline. I didn't want to have to explain why I didn't call or text last night or about getting cross-faded with our least favorite person. Honestly, I just needed to relax and I didn't care who it was with. Since I knew Alec and Mags were together, Simon was working like he did on all week nights except Wednesdays due to band practice and that Aline wasn't allowed to spend the night on the weekdays, I didn't have many options. Jon is my brother and Jace just so happened to be hanging out with him so I had nothing to feel guilty for but I knew she'd be mad. I had to admit though, having Jace check me out in my pajamas and then again this morning was just another sign I was succeeding at my mission.

A few minutes after I sat down and opened my notebook, Jace sauntered in with his signature smirk, winking at one of the girls that sat at the front of the class as he passed. She looked like she was about to faint. It was sickening.

He sat down next to me and I could tell he was trying not to look but his eyes roamed up my legs and rested briefly on my face before he looked away.

"Is there something that I can help you with?" I asked, making sure to sound like as much of a smartass as possible.

"Just admiring the view." I rolled my eyes. I was honestly surprised he hadn't figured out what I was doing yet…or maybe he had and was just playing along. Well, whatever was going on, I knew I was having an effect on him which meant that I would continue. He could want me until hell froze over but he would never have me.

I turned my eyes back to the front of the class where Mr Gray had just walked in and provided the assignment which would turn into homework.

"Alright class, I didn't want to do this the first couple days because I wanted to get you started on your first book and give you a little taste of what the reading part of this class was going to be like but now we are going to test out your skills while having a bit of fun. I'm sure you've realized by now that this is not only a class focused on reading skill but also advancing your capabilities as writers." These sheets are for you to go through with your partner to find out as much as you can about them. The questions are random facts. The information you gather will be turned into an essay that will be due this Friday. I want to judge your capability to take a bunch of random information and turn it into a paper worth reading. You will have the rest of class to do your worksheets and if you finish early, you can either start working on the essay part or continue reading Pride and Prejudice for the essay due next week, your choice. You may begin."

I don't think I could have rolled my eyes any more intensely. The last thing I wanted to do was spend an hour and a half learning about Jace. Maybe at one time, this would have been fun but frankly, I didn't give a fuck anymore. What I knew from when we were kids together probably wasn't relevant anymore and what I knew about him now was that he was an egotistical manwhore who believed he was God's gift to the opposite sex. There was nothing in the middle. As far as I was concerned, that's all I needed to know to understand that I still needed to stay as far away from him as possible. My revenge was the only exception to that rule.

"Alright asshole, let's get this over with."

"Asshole? And here I thought I was starting to grow on you."

"Yeah, like a fungus." I snickered. "But fortunately for you, alcohol knows no enemies."

He placed his hand on his chest covering his heart. "How quickly you dismiss our love," he said in mock hurt.

"Riiiight. We should probably get started."

"Yep. So first question. What's your favorite color? It used to be red, didn't it?"

"Yeah, well a lot of shit's changed since I was thirteen," I retorted.

His eyes slowly slid back down from my face to my legs as slow as honey.

"That's for sure."

"You're a pig…and my favorite color is black, although black is really the absence of all color."

"I have a weakness for pretty things, what can I say?" He wrote down my answer.

I glared at him and then said, "Whatever, Jace. What's your favorite color?" I didn't have the time or the energy to play games at the moment. I just wanted to get the questions over with and get back to more important things, like finishing yesterday's math homework that I was too drunk to do last night.

He looked at me really intensely and then said, "emerald green." I gave him an intense look back but one of confusion, wondering if his brain was starting to malfunction. I really didn't know what to make of his words. I decided to ignore them and get back to the assignment after writing his answer in my notebook.

"Okay, what's your favorite movie?"

Just as Jace opened his mouth to answer me, Layla, one of the office aids appeared at the door.

"Clarissa Morgenstern?" I put my hand up so she would see me. Her eyes finally fell on me. "Principal Aldertree and Ms Bellcourt would like to see you in the office. You probably won't be coming back to class so gather your things."

Jace peered at me with a _what-the-fuck-is-going-on_ look, expecting me to know or tell him why I was being called to the office. I shot him a _mind-your-own-fucking-business_ glare in response. I picked up my bag and walked out of the room, unsure if I was walking toward a reward or a punishment. I knew I'd find out soon whether I was ready to or not.

 **A/N: Hey Readers/Followers. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I've turned into a bit of a perfectionist and edited this probably close to 20 times before I was happy with it. I also apologize for my overuse of commas but I feel like having too many pauses is better than too little. I'd appreciate it if you'd drop me a review. Constructive criticism only please.**

 **What do you think of Phyl?**

 **Why do you think C got called into the office?**

 **Do any of my readers listen to punk music? And if so, do you have a favorite band? As you can tell, mine is Bad Religion.**

 _ **Please take the time to check out some of my favorite fanfiction authors: Mina Lisly, SereneCalamity, JMDeaton, eleonorejune, Yuki Kamea, OurFeistyRedhead, Adele18, Ilovesandwichs and BallinBlonde21. I feel like I might be forgetting some but if so, you'll get a shoutout later. These writers are all amazing and have awesome stories to share.**_

 _ **Also thanks to AFourAddict, lunatic-blondie and all my other reviewers. You are part of what inspires me to keep writing. A special shoutout to SereneCalamity just for being you.**_


	7. Smart Punks Finish First

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Atmosphere - Angelface***

 ***MxPx - Responsibility***

 ***Three Days Grace - Pain***

 ***The Clash - Garageland***

 ***Jawbreaker - Want***

 _ **C POV**_

Layla and I had a pleasant conversation on the way to the office but she had no idea why I was being pulled out of first period. She walked me in and sat me down outside the Principal's Office. It took nearly twenty minutes before I was escorted in to see both Principal Aldertree and my counselor, Ms Bellcourt. I was lost because I hadn't done anything that I was aware of, at least not at school, that should have gotten me into trouble.

"Hello, Clarissa. Please have a seat," Principal Aldertree said as he pointed to a chair in front of his desk.

"You're probably wondering why we called you in here in the middle of class." I nodded my affirmation. "You're here because Ms Bellcourt has brought it to my attention that you are doing extremely well academically. You have a 4.18GPA and you have almost enough credits to graduate already with the tutoring you've done for the past two years and all the AP classes, despite it being only the beginning of your Junior year." I stared at him in confusion. I honestly had no idea where he was going with this.

Ms Bellcourt picked up the conversation. "What this means, Clarissa, is that we would like to allow you to skip a grade and officially make you a Senior so you can graduate early. You're already taking Senior level classes with AP English 4, Spanish 4 and Pre-Calculus. If we can just make sure you take either History 4 or AP History 4 next semester and one of the advanced science classes, you will meet all of the requirements to graduate, even if you decide to take a free period. Of course this also means that you will need to start thinking about applying to colleges and the SATs/ACTs coming up in about three weeks so keep that in mind."

 _WHAT!_

I was shocked. I never dreamed that I would be able to skip a grade. A punk like me? I mean I knew I had a high GPA. A better than perfect GPA despite some educational mishaps at the beginning of Freshman year. School just came natural to me and I generally aced tests without even studying, just by listening while I doodled in class and sometimes even with one headphone in my ear. It pissed Jon off royally because even though his GPA was good, he had to really work for it when the only class I actually had to work in was Math because, like I said, not so good at it. But to be a Senior and finally get the fuck out of this hellhole? To graduate with my brother, Alec and Mags? To follow my dreams a year earlier than I had expected? It was too good of a deal to pass up.

I realized I had been quiet for far too long as they were both staring at me, looking impatient.

"I'm in. Is there anything else I have to do?"

"We do need to call your mother to make sure she is alright with the idea and we have some paperwork to fill out. Then we need to update your record and put in an early request for the required classes for next semester," Ms Bellcourt assured. "It's gonna take awhile."

 _ **~*0*0*0*~**_

Ms Bellcourt and I spent 2 hours making sure the transition went smoothly. We called my mom together and talked to her. She said she was proud of me, not that it meant much. Her and Luke hadn't been home once in nearly a year. I was more interested in Jon's reaction than theirs. I was actually kind of surprised she answered the phone at all.

After everything was finished, there was only around a half an hour left of Pre Cal so Ms Bellcourt, being the cool counselor she was, just allowed me to chill in her office and we talked about my plans for the future. She offered to help me fill out college applications when I was ready and sent a note to Mr. Blackwell saying I was excused from class that day and to give any homework to Jon.

When I finally got out of there, I headed straight to my locker and into Spanish. Luckily, I didn't meet Aline there. I felt bad for avoiding my girlfriend but I didn't want to lie about what I did last night so I was staying away from the possibility of the conversation all together until I was ready to face it.

I walked in and sat down, working on last night's math homework that I didn't do because...alcohol, while I waited for Alec to show up. Jace, Alec and Julian walked in a few minutes later and sat down, Alec giving me a kiss on the cheek before doing so. Since we had no homework the past two days, I knew today was going to be another heavy day for class work. It seemed like we were never going to get any homework in Spanish which was totally fine with me between band practice and everything else I had going on.

Before he could ask, I turned to Jace and said, "Obviously I couldn't help not being able to finish our worksheet in class. Do you have some time after school today so we can complete it?"

"I have football practice right after school but I planned on coming over after that anyway. I suppose I could be persuaded to spend my time with you instead of Jon," he said with a wink.

 _This motherfucker winked at me_

I tried to hold in my temper but boy was it hard. "Well, no shit you have football practice. I haven't suddenly lost all my brain cells. My brother _is_ the captain." I huffed and reigned it in. "I have band practice anyway so it's not like I could meet you directly after school either but I meant after that...And you don't need to spend all your time with me, just long enough to finish the worksheet."

"Feisty...Okay, I'll meet you at your house then. By the way, why did you get pu-" Just as he started to ask, Mrs Pangborn came in and passed out a five page packet of vocabulary sheets, instructing us to finish them before class was over unless we wanted homework and to do it silently.

I worked on my sheets but after a few minutes, I saw Jace scribbling on a piece of paper that wasn't vocabulary. He passed it to me so I could read it. It said, _'Why did you get pulled out of class?'._ I wrote down my response really quickly, not wanting to get caught passing notes, pushed it back over to him and went back to working on my own packet with a smug look on my face. I could feel him looking at me off and on for the rest of the period but deliberately ignored him. No matter how I was accomplishing it, messing with the golden boy was fun.

 _ **Jace POV**_

Despite still being very confused about how all this started with C, I was very sure of a few things. One, I pretty much had a permanent hard on for her and it didn't seem like that was going to change any time soon. Two, if I wanted to maintain my friendship with Jon, I realistically could not even try to fuck his little sister. And now three, I wasn't very good at not being a selfish asshole. When I set my mind on something, I had to have it. Regardless of her brother, my brother, her girlfriend, whatever, I still wanted her and if I was ever going to scratch that itch and get her out of my head, I had to find a way to make her want me too.

I guessed the best place to start was trying to be nice without acting like I only wanted to get inside her even though that was the main thing on my mind right now but I had a feeling that was going to take time. I didn't want to waste anymore than necessary. I would do it though, I would be nice if it got me what I wanted. I would be my usual charming self but I'd try to check some of the asshole at the door as well.

So when C and I had been working on asking each other questions for our essay in AP English, I had essentially told her she was pretty after my eyes had nearly devoured her body. Then on another question, we talked about favorite colors and I told her my favorite color was emerald green. I didn't elaborate but I'm sure she realized I said it because of her eyes. I legitimately loved the way they looked. They just gave you a no bullshit feeling that seemed to look through you and just added to how sexy she was. I hoped that met my 'nice quota' for the time being. We were about to discuss our favorite movies when Layla came to the door and pulled her out of class.

She never came back and it drove me crazy all through the rest of English and History, not knowing what happened. So when I got into Spanish, following behind Alec and Julian, I was happy to see that C was already sitting at our table. Before I could say anything to her, she spoke instead.

"Obviously I couldn't help not being able to finish our worksheet in class. Do you have some time after school today so we can complete it?"

"I have football practice right after school but I planned on coming over after that anyway. I suppose I could be persuaded to spend my time with you instead of Jon," I winked at her and then realized I wasn't getting off to a very good start. She obviously realized it too from her response.

"Well, no shit you have football practice. I haven't suddenly lost all my brain cells. My brother is the captain. I have band practice anyway so it's not like I could meet you directly after school either but I meant after that...And you don't need to spend all your time with me, just long enough to finish the worksheet."

"Feisty...Okay, I'll meet you at your house then. By the way, why did you get pu-," I started to ask before being cut off by Mrs Pangborn giving us our packets and instructions to finish them silently. I decided to write C a note and ask her what happened but when she passed it back, all it said was _'I'm sure you'll find out soon enough'_. I was a patient person but this had already been bugging me for two periods and I wanted answers. I kept trying not to look at her but it was nearly impossible. Since I had been so distracted, I finished my packet seconds before the bell rang whereas C had finished the packet and her math homework from the previous day and Alec and Julian had been just sitting and talking, quietly for at least twenty minutes.

"Alec, can you please meet me at Jon's table? I have something I need to say and I want you and Jon to be the first to know," C requested. Alec nodded in agreement and she was out the door before I could even utter a word.

I _guess I'll find out with everyone else at lunch_

I made my way to the lunchroom with Alec in tow. We stood in line to grab our food and then walked over to mine and Jon's usual table where C was chatting it up with Bat and getting hungry looks from most of the rest of the football team. Bat was sitting next to Maia and Izzy who looked to be having a conversation with some of the other cheerleaders. We sat down just as Jon was entering. He grabbed his lunch and then came over to us, staring at C with a questioning look on his face.

"Hey, Jon-Jon. How's your day going?"

"Fine. You weren't in pre cal and now you're here. What's up?" He looked apprehensive. "You usually only come to our table for one reason. So unless you suddenly developed a preference for football players, which I pray to the Angel isn't the case, I'm gonna assume that you need to talk about something serious. Alec being here kinda confirms it."

"Oh Jon, you're so funny, but seriously, none of these bitches you call football players could handle me," she said while looking at her nails.

"Oh, we'll handle you baby. Come to Papi," Raphael said, standing up and beckoning her to come to his side of the table. This was met with a few laughs from the other guys eating their lunches close by. Right then, I wanted to break his nose. Instead Jon stood up and growled at him, literally growled at him and Raphael muttered something about just talking shit and moved further down the table.

Jon sat back down and sounded like he was pleading but he only uttered one word, "Clare."

"What, Jon? Oh come on, he's a douche. He's already been saying shit about me anyway. Bat told me." Jon glared at Bat who just shrugged. C cupped Jon's cheeks and pulled him back to face her. "You can't protect me from everything but I love that you try." She kissed him on the forehead and continued. "Anyway, If my news were that serious, I wouldn't talk about it in front of all these people. I do have something to tell you though." Everyone was suddenly paying attention to her which I'm sure wasn't what she intended.

"Spill," Jon said, still hesitant.

"So, I got pulled out of first period to go to the office this morning to talk to the principal and Ms Bellcourt. They wa-"

"What did you do? What kind of trouble are you in?" Jon was freaking out a little bit but still sounded curious.

"Will you let her talk, Jon. Damn, give her a chance to explain," Alec scolded.

"Thanks, Alec. As I was saying, they called me into the office to talk about...well, I wasn't really sure what they called me in for. At first I was confused because they were telling me I had a high GPA which I already knew so I was lost as to why I was there because they were pretty much singing my praises. Come to find out, they want me to skip Junior year and officially become a Senior since I'm already meeting almost all the graduation requirements. I have to take AP History 4, since I took AP History 3 early last year and I signed up for Anatomy & Physiology for next semester and then I get to graduate with you guys."

"Seriously?" Alec asked, with a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah, she called mom and got the okay and all the paperwork has been filled out. Now all I have to do is study for the upcoming SATs and ACTs and start thinking about college applications and I'll be good to go."

"Do you understand how proud I am of you?" Jon pulled C into his lap and held onto her tightly while planting a kiss on her hairline.

"Jon, I can't breathe," she squeezed out and he loosened his grip. Alec picked her up from Jon's lap and spun her around in a circle, while laughing and hugging her before putting her back down on the ground. Bat immediately came to pull her into a hug as well and pay tribute despite the semi dirty look coming from Maia before she muttered her own congratulations. Even Izzy gave her a hug and I spied a slight blush on C's cheeks that I wondered about but left alone. I only offered a smile and a 'congratulations' because I knew she wouldn't allow me to touch her. I got a short 'thanks' in return.

"Well, I need to go tell Mags, Aline and Simon the good news but I wanted you guys to hear it first. Love you Jon-Jon," and with that, C and Alec left to go meet their friends outside.

"At least I know I did something right," he said, sounding a little sad despite the smile still on his face.

I kept my mouth shut and just sat there because any good he had done for C was certainly no thanks to me.

 _ **C POV**_

The whole thing seemed so much more real after telling my brother and Alec. I wondered what it would be like to be entering college a year sooner than I'd planned. I would still be the same age as most of the Freshman though because of the way our district worked with birthdays and starting school. Jon, Jace and I all had our birthdays right after the cutoff date so we all had to wait an extra year to start school and that meant both Jon and Jace were starting college at nineteen and I'd now be starting at eighteen.

I was worried about getting into a good college. Yeah, I had a good GPA but that wasn't the only important thing when applying to a university. I needed a lot of extracurriculars and I had no idea whether what I'd decided to do for the last two years would be enough. I'd won a few state awards for my art. I had tutored for the last two years in a row. I had taken AP classes whenever they were offered. I sang in a band and played six instruments. I participated in the Summer Reading Program the last three years and was in Book Club. I had worked on the school haunted house and planned on signing up this year as well. I won silver in the IKF kickboxing tournament last year and also taught classes to kids during the summer. I spoke fluent Spanish and German. Hell, sometimes I even volunteered with Aline at the Food Bank. If I could pair all that with good applications and recommendations from my teachers, maybe I had a shot? Alec brought me back from my thoughts.

"I can't believe you're going to be graduating with us. Obviously, I've done homework and shit with you but it still amazes me that you hardly study and still do so well. I had no idea your grades were that good."

"It shocked the shit out of me too. I mean I knew I had a good GPA because I've always been kinda awesome at school but I had no idea I'd met all my requirements to move past Junior year already. I guess I just wasn't really paying attention."

"I'm hella stoked for you, don't get me wrong. You're just way more badass than I thought and I already knew you were pretty damn badass," Alec said with a smile. "Do you have any idea what colleges you're going to apply to?"

"I'm not sure. You know what I wanna do with my life and I just need to figure out what the best schools to go to in order to make it happen are. I thought I had lots of time but I don't and now I'm nervous about the preparation. And that means I have to study for SAT's and ACT's and I actually have to try and I only have like 3 weeks when I thought I'd have the whole year," I whined. "Oh my god, I'm freaking out Alec. I don't do this shit. I'm a girl who likes smoking pot and occasionally day drinking, who skateboards and kickboxes and gets in fights and moshes at concerts. I'm not a girl who studies for big tests or goes to a prestigious college or…does normal," subconsciously waving my arms for emphasis. "What if I can't handle it, Alec? What if I'm not good enough? What if this is exactly what it takes?" I asked knowing he understood all too well what I meant. "I feel like I'm having an serious fuckin crisis here. Please talk me off the ledge."

Right before we exited the doors leading to our friends, Alec stopped me by putting his hands on my shoulders and turning me to face him. "Breath, C. You'll be fine. I'll be right here with you. Maybe you just need to make some changes. Fuck, it couldn't hurt for me to make some changes. I'm not saying we reinvent ourselves completely…just adjust some of the behaviors. Just imagine, we'll be kinda like Stevo in SLC Punk!. Be mundane to the world but always stay punk at heart?"

"I don't know, Alec. I can try I guess but I'm not some 'little boxes' kinda chick." I sighed and rubbed my eyes in exasperation but instantly perked up when I remembered the other part of what he said. "You know I wanna watch SLC Punk! now, right? Promise me we can some night this week?" I practically begged even though I knew I didn't have to. Alec let out a chuckle and nodded. I inhaled sharply and then rolled my eyes as I suddenly realized what my news meant. "great, more fun information to tell Aline," I uttered out loud.

"What do you mean? What don't you want to tell her?"

"So after school yesterday, you know I had an appointment with Bat?" He nodded his head in agreement. "Well, I really wanted to get fucked up afterward and you were staying at Mags' house, Simon was at work and you know Aline can't come stay the night on school nights. There was no way we could have sent her home drunk even if she wanted to try. It just so happened that Jon and Jace were there and I didn't want to drink alone so I asked them to join me. Now I know I'm normally pretty hostile towards Jace and I have a good reason for that as you know but last night I just wanted to drink and didn't care. Well it would have been bad enough if that was it but Jace, being the douche he is, walked in on me and Aline having sex a couple days ago and then he proceeded to stand there and watch us for the Angel knows how long so she fucking hates him now, more than ever. So let's just say she won't be happy about me getting drunk with him...or helping him to bed afterwards." I cleared my throat. "And then this college thing means she's gonna have a massive freakout. You know how she is with bad news."

"Yeah, she overreacts more than anyone I've ever met. You have to tell her though. She'll be pissed if she finds out about either and you weren't the one to tell her. She's gonna throw a shit fit either way but maybe it won't last as long if you're the one who talks to her."

"Doubtful. There's one more thing though."

"What?" Alec asked.

"She said the 'L' word on our anniversary and I didn't say it back."

"Why not?"

"I just couldn't...because I don't know how I feel. I mean, she makes me smile. We can carry on a conversation. I care about her deeply. What we have is amazing but it feels...ugh. I don't know. Maybe I just don't understand what romantic love feels like. But we've been together a little over six months now and I feel like that means we've hit some milestone where it's now expected. And every time she looks at me, I feel like she's just waiting for it." He appeared to be considering my words so I kept going. "I love the person she is but I'm starting to feel suffocated. I've been trying to act like everything's normal but it isn't. I think I've subconsciously been pulling away since she said it. I know that sounds terrible and it makes me feel like such an asshole but this is what's been rolling around in my head and I had to get it off my chest." I knew I should probably stop but my mouth just wouldn't quit vomiting words. "I don't want her to feel like I'm using her but we've literally only seen each other for sex or at school since she said it. And I think she deserves better than that but I honestly just don't know how I feel. You know I only get neurotic like this when the situation is serious. What the fuck do I do, Alec?"

"You've gotta make up your mind how you feel about her, preferably sooner rather than later. But make sure you're certain because this isn't the first time you've done this. You pulled away from Emma when shit got serious too and she's a great girl. Julian tells me all the time that she still talks about you." I knew he was right and Emma was a great girl. I just wasn't ready to be serious like she was. I had issues that I didn't know if I'd ever be able to fix. Alec took a deep breath and said, "Look, you just don't wanna find out you've lost the best thing that's ever happened to you when it's too late."

"You're right. I know. But it's easier said than done."

"The doing isn't supposed to be easy."

"Yeah, remind me why that is again."

"Why? Why? The world would spin off it's axis. There would be burning and freezing and the oceans would devour the land. It would be the end of society, the end of the world, the end of the universe," he spouted dramatically.

I laughed at his silliness. "I love you, Alec. You're the best."

"You better fucking believe it," he grinned and put his arm over my shoulders as we walked out the door.

When we got to the courtyard, Aline and Simon were both eating their lunches and talking quietly, while Mags was reading the newest copy of Cosmopolitan. Alec took a seat next to him.

"Guys? I have something I wanna tell you." I quickly glanced around to make sure I had everyone's attention. "I skipped a grade and I'm now officially a Senior."

Mags stood up, wrapped me in a hug and said, "Congratulations, Biscuit! We must talk colleges and study for SAT's together."

"Congrats, C," said Simon as he also got up to give me a hug though I could tell something was worrying him.

Aline had a peeved look on her face and she had folded her arms across her chest like she was protecting herself.

 _This is gonna be so fun. Not_

Simon gestured for me to take his spot so I moved around him and sat down in the seat he'd vacated. I wrapped my arm around Aline and pulled her into my side.

"Hey babe, whats wrong?"

"You're leaving?" She asked.

I cupped her cheek and said, "yeah, I mean I guess we're all leaving eventually. I'm just off to college a little earlier than everyone else I suppose. I haven't even applied for any colleges yet. I promise I'll fill you in when I figure it out. Nothing is happening until next year anyway."

"I don't want to lose you." I moved to grab ahold of her hands.

"And you're not. Nothing is changing right this moment except that I'm now a Senior instead of a Junior."

"I just love you so much."

"I know, babe. You're pretty amazing yourself and I'm lucky to have you in my life." A small frown graced her lips but was gone as quick as it appeared. "I have something else to tell you and I'm pretty sure you're going to be upset about this too even though you have no reason to be because really I was just mostly hanging out with Jon and we didn't really do much of anything anyway."

"What is it?" She asked as she once again sat up straight and let go of my hands to fold her arms across her chest.

"I wanted to drink with Jon last night but Jace was there and I couldn't very well drink with Jon without including Jace so we all drank together. We mostly played Rock Band but Jace and I ended up having a drinking contest which I won but then I ended up pretty much carrying him to bed at the end of the night because Jon was too drunk. And I'm telling you this because I respect you and don't want you to feel like I'm hiding things from you. I don't want any secrets between us."

Aline's face went completely red. She hardly stifled a scream before she stomped off. She was great but one issue she always had was that she acted seriously irrational to things she didn't want to hear.

I looked over at Alec. "Well, that went well," I said to him as he gave me a sympathetic look.

 _ **~*0*0*0*~**_

The rest of the school day went by smoothly. I dropped off my finished math homework from the previous day to Mr Gray and hurried to leave so I could get to band practice. When I headed to my locker and saw Aline, she promptly avoided me and walked away, meeting up with Helen Blackthorn down the hall. I knew I had fucked up in the way I told her about Jace and Jon. I knew better than to tell a woman she had no reason to be angry and expect her not to be. Pile that in with the news of graduating early, the fact that I hadn't told her I loved her too and the blatant irrationality that was already Aline...I was sure she was feeling pissed and hurt. And I was sure she was only hanging around Helen to piss me off and hurt me back but that didn't make it any easier to take. Not that hanging out with Helen would hurt me because I didn't give a rat's ass about her but it did piss me off. What did hurt was that she would try to get back at me because she assumed after six months of our relationship and another six months of friendship that I would do something to intentionally hurt her. I donned my aviators and walked away without a second glance. I wasn't gonna apologize if she was gonna act like a child and I certainly wasn't gonna play the 'who could hurt who the most' game.

I met Simon, Eric. Matt and Kirk in Eric's garage for practice. I had my favorite Fender Strat at home but I kept an array of guitars including another Strat, a Les Paul, a Roadcore, and a Pacer in our practice space depending on what sound I was going for so I didn't have to haul the one from home around everywhere. I also owned an amazingly expensive and beautiful Gretsch Black Penguin that was kept in a lockbox in my room. I only took her out for really special occasions.

"Nice of you bitches to man up and finally agree to see me. You've been hiding like scared little girls the past couple days."

"You'd fuckin hide from you too if you were the one who'd been threatened multiple times with having your balls ripped off. There's only so much a man can take before he starts to actually be concerned," said Kirk.

"Well, if you would stop trying to include a damn drum solo in every song that Si or I write then maybe I wouldn't need to threaten your balls on the regular."

"She's kinda got a point, man," Matt chimed in.

I turned my head to look at him. "Don't think you're off the hook, _Matty_. You either, Eric. You've both been making yourselves scarce too." I took a deep breath. I was getting exasperated with everyone today. These guys had known me for years. They should be used to me by now. I figured I'd have to humor them a little but I needed to get my point across as well. "I know I've been kinda crazy lately," I said as I heard the clearing of many throats, making it clear that the word I chose to describe my behavior didn't even cover it, "but you know someone has to be. Who books most of our gigs? Who keeps us on track at practice? Who kept the band together after Josh left when everyone wanted to quit. And then who recruited Matt to replace him? That was all me. So the next time you guys wanna complain or hide from me because you can't handle it, remember that I may be a bitch at times but I get shit done."

They all, with the exception of Simon, had the decency to look at least a little ashamed. Simon and I had been friends since play dough was food so he was kinda like a calm to my storm.

"Alright, alright, we get it. Bow down to the almighty C. Our fearless and badass leader." I smiled at that. "Now can we get to practicing. We all saw your new song and I'm ready to try it out," Eric pleaded while picking up his guitar. Simon and I picked up our own guitars and went to stand in front of our microphones while Matt tightened the strap on his bass.

"It's actually a song I started about a year and a half ago that I just recently finished but let's do it. Kirk, count us in."

"One. Two. Three. Four." Kirk shouted as he slammed his drumsticks together.

 **(Now by Paramore)**

Don't try to take this from me

Now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow

Feels like I'm waking from the dead

And everyone's been waitin' on me

'Least now I'll never have to wonder

What it's like to sleep a year away

But weren't we indestructible?

I thought that we could brave it all (all)

I never thought that what would take me out

Was hiding down below

Lost the battle, win the war

Bringing my sinking ship back to the shore

Starting over, we'll head back in

There's a time and a place to die but this ain't it

If there's a future, we want it

(Now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow) 

Don't try to take this from me

Now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow

Wish I could find a crystal ball

For the days I feel completely worthless

You know I'd use it all for good

I would not take it for granted (granted)

Instead I have some memories... For the days I don't feel anything

At the least, they will remind me not to make the same mistakes again.

Lost the battle, win the war

I'm bringing my sinking ship back to the shore

We're starting over, we'll head back in

There's a time and a place to die but this ain't it

If there's a future, we want it

Now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow

There's a time and a place to die

There's a time and a place to die

And this ain't it

There's a time and a place to die

And this ain't it, this ain't it

This ain't it

There's a time and a place to die

There's a time and a place to die

But this ain't it, no

If there's a future, we want it

Now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow

We finished the song and I felt like I was on a high. It reminded me of a time in my life when I was rebuilding from nothing. "Alright, what did you guys think?"

"It feels very dark, intense and personal like most of your music, C," Kirk said.

"I really liked it. Especially the part about losing the battle and winning the war. That shit was deep," Matt offered.

"I really liked it too. Are we playing it at the party on Saturday? I don't know if we can get enough practice in tonight for it to be perfect by then," Simon pointed out.

"We don't need it to be perfect for the party. Just to sound good. It'll need to be perfect for BOTB though if we decide to use it for that. Look, we have a solid two hours and I think if we can get through 'Now' at least fifteen times and also smash on both 'Fast In My Car' and 'I Don't Wanna Dance' six or seven times each then I think those are the songs we should play. We can also do one last practice Saturday before the party. Is that cool with everyone?" I asked, looking around for any objections.

Eric looked up from the floor and said, "Sounds good to me." Everyone else voiced their acceptance. We continued on with practice and made it through without any attempted drum solos from Kirk, which we were all silently thankful for. The band rocked all three songs and we all agreed that one more practice should do it. Before the band dispersed for the night, I addressed the whole group.

"I don't know if Simon told y'all or not but I'm actually going to be graduating this year." I got congratulations' from everyone but they were also concerned about what it would mean for the band. "I'm not sure where I'm applying to college yet but if I'm staying close, I'd like to stay in the band. I don't know how you guys feel about that. It might mean some commuting but I'll probably be able to get us more gigs," and I told them to take some time to think it over. I knew they didn't want to get a new lead singer but they might want to get a new one sooner rather than later if it was a possibility that I might be moving across the country. Everyone headed for home with plans to meet up Saturday at ten at my house.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I made four touchdowns at practice and ran more yards than I cared to count. After showering and changing into a navy t-shirt with cutoff sleeves and black track pants, we drove back to Jon's in my car and made our way inside. I went to the living room as Jon went to the kitchen and came back with two water bottles, tossing one to me and then taking a big drink himself.

I waited for him to finish and said, "so your sister's got me for around forty-five minutes or so tonight, starting in about," I pulled out my phone real quick to check the time, "ten minutes from now."

"Is _she_ aware of this?" Jon asked while laughing.

"Of course she's aware. We're doing homework, dick."

He laughed again. "You never know when it comes to you two. Anyway, I'll be in my room. I've got homework. Come find me when you're done." He said as he walked from the living room to the stairs and began his ascension.

I set my bag down and sat on the couch while I opened my water and took a long drink. The coolness was calming. I had to relax. I needed to make sure my brain was the one in charge tonight and keep my dick in check. It sounded like a great idea in theory, I wasn't so sure about pulling it off. I even tried to pump myself up.

 _I'm an intelligent guy. I can do this. Mind over matter. Just don't be an asshole, only look at her face and remember what the real goal is here_

C walked in not two minutes later and just stared at me for a minute. Like she was trying to figure out exactly what she was supposed to do with me. I was beginning to wonder that myself. Then, out of nowhere, she spoke.

 **What do you think about Jon's reaction? What about Aline's?**

 **Has anyone seen SLC Punk? If so, what do you think?**

 **Do you think Jace will behave himself?**

 _ **A/N: Sorry this update took so long. Honestly, it's been written for about 3 weeks but I wanted to get further ahead before posting. I've got about 5 chapters done so updates should come more quickly for a bit but I did just start a new job so that means I don't have as much time to write. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for sticking with me y'all.**_

 _Yesterday was my birthday. Can I get some birthday reviews?_


	8. Getting 2 Know You, 2 Know All About You

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

 _ **IF THE VARIOUS SLANG TERMS FOR VAGINAS OFFEND YOU, DO NOT READ. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED AND IT'S PROBABLY ONE OF THE ONLY ONES YOU'LL EVER GET SO FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LIKE THEM BEFORE CHAPTERS, TAKE IT AS A WIN!**_

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 _A/N: Don't Forget to Review!_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Wiz Khalifa - Still Blazin***

 ***Bouncing Souls - True Believers***

 ***The Ataris - So Long, Astoria***

 ***Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness***

 _ **Jace POV**_

"Come up to my room. If we're gonna do this, I need to be stoned. Plus we can listen to music and I can put on pajamas." She seemed impatient but started walking toward the stairs and I followed close behind her, catching her delicious, flowery-strawberry scent as she moved. She abruptly stopped and I nearly ran into her. C turned around, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "and in case you were wondering, this is what it sounds like to get _invited_ into someone's room." She started walking again but then almost immediately turned back to me. "You wouldn't be willingly getting anywhere near my damn room if I didn't need my happy place so badly. Don't fuck up my happy place or I will slaughter you."

"Point taken." She continued up the stairs with me walking at a safe distance behind her, trying my hardest to keep my eyes on the steps.

When we got there, C grabbed her pajamas and went into the bathroom to change as I sat on her couch and pulled out my worksheet, notebook and pen. As I studied the questions, I couldn't figure out what I was hoping for. I wanted to see those very small, tight, black pajamas she wore the night before but at the same time, I didn't know if my body could take it. It was gonna take all my energy to play nice and it was so much harder to accomplish just thinking about her in those short shorts and tight crop top, let alone seeing her in them. I really needed to get control over myself. I was acting like a twelve year old boy. She didn't need to know how much power she had over me and I hadn't even laid a finger on her.

A couple minutes later, she exited the bathroom and I knew I was fucked. I sprang to life the moment I laid eyes on what was barely covering her body. She was wearing very short, green satin sleep shorts with a matching green sleeveless top that was only held closed by a small cream-colored tie in the middle. You could see her toned stomach and the green jewel of her belly button ring was showing through the triangle-shaped opening made by the closure. The realization that she wasn't wearing a bra, which was made apparent by the little mounds poking out from under the satin and then the thought that her top was easier to undo than the bow in a shoelace, almost had me on the verge of an aneurism. Her hair was braided to the side and she had removed all of her makeup but she still looked so damn sexy. I was so fucked. I was trying to think of anything I could to make my boner go back down.

 _football-kite flying-bacon-driving-1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10-UGH-naked old ladies_

And that did it. I could feel the blood returning to the appropriate parts of my anatomy. For such an intelligent guy, I wasn't very smart. I had to be out of my mind to think I could get by without anything happening. Popping wood was a side effect of being in the same room as a sexy, scantily clad woman that was driving me crazy and I decided to put myself in the situation anyway.

She must've seen the pained expression on my face because as she walked to the set of wooden cupboards to grab what I later realized were her smoking supplies, she said, "what's wrong with you? You look like someone took away your favorite toy or something."

"You have no idea." I said, biting my lower lip as I stared at the bare strip of skin above her ass that had become visible when she stretched and reached up to the top shelf. I swallowed a whimper as my eyes skimmed down further and saw her perfect ass cheeks peeking out of the bottom of her shorts. I had to make myself look away. "Anyway, we should get working," I said as I was forced to think of elderly women with no clothes on once again.

C put her iPod on her dock and put some music I had never heard before on shuffle before walking over and sitting in her desk chair next to me. She reached into her bag to grab her supplies and then crossed her legs.

"What are we listening to?"

"A band called the Bumpin Uglies."

"How fitting."

"Riiiight, so what's your favorite movie?" She ground up some amazing smelling weed and started rolling a joint which she was particularly skilled at and finished quickly. She grabbed her ashtray and a lighter and fired it up.

"It's Pulp Fiction. I've seen it so many times, I can probably quote every line," I finally answered after being completely entranced by watching her pink lips make a perfect 'O' as she slowly exhaled.

"I can get behind Tarantino. He's pretty much a genius when it comes to film," she said, slowly nodding her head. "My favorite is The Devil's Rejects. I love Rob Zombie movies period but that's the best as far as I'm concerned." She passed me the joint after taking another hit.

I followed suit, inhaling quickly and admitted, "Never seen it."

"Not surprising."

I decided not to ask why since I was pretty sure her answer was coming in the form an of insult. "So, favorite book?"

"It's actually Pride and Prejudice."

"Let me guess, you've read it a million times and are in love with Mr Darcy?"

"Something like that. While Mr Darcy is dreamy and I love his character, he has his flaws just like every other member of the male species. What's your favorite?"

"I could show you just how many flaws I don't have."

"Your favorite book, Jace," she repeated again, completely ignoring my previous comment.

"A Tale of Two Cities."

"Dickens? Hmmm...not what I expected."

"Okay, seriously, if you want me to not assume things about you, extend me the same courtesy," I snapped at her.

"Roger that, Asshat. Now pass that joint. you're camping." I handed it over and allowed myself to relax as she put it in her mouth. No more than five minutes into the conversation and I was already causing problems for myself.

 _This is going so well. I have her alone in her room and she is wearing practically nothing. I'm failing miserably. If I can't even make her like me, how am I going to get her to sleep with me?_

 _"_ What's your favorite TV show? Mine is The Walking Dead," I said.

"That's hard. I really like doctor shows but I can't choose just one so I'd have to say Grey's Anatomy and M*A*S*H."

"M*A*S*H is like an ancient TV show."

"So what! Don't underestimate the power of oldies but goodies. It's like The Clash, Ramones and Sex Pistols. They're all considered old now but they were primo back in their day and they're all still pretty boss now."

"The who, who and who?"

"I just realized how sad your life is. Please, man, get a music education. As much as I'm against doing anything for you, I'll even contribute to the Jonathan Herondale charity fund by giving you the password to my music cloud so there'll be one less musically challenged douche in the world." True to her word, she ripped out a sheet of notebook paper and copied down the address and her login information before handing it to me. She then passed the joint after taking another puff.

"Okay, well do you kn-"

"Nope. Don't even bother. Whoever you're going to ask me about, trust me, I know who they are and chances are I listen to them. My music cloud has over 750,000 songs and at least 1,945 complete discographies at last count but I add new stuff all the time."

"Yeah, so the next question is favorite band."

"So many to choose from...but Bad Religion and Streetlight Manifesto, without a doubt."

"Bad Religion? That's the concert you were talking about going to with Alec at Taki's, right?"

"Yeah, we see them every time they come to town so...four times now."

"And who is Streetlight Manifesto?"

"Please, for the love of the Angel, just get on my music cloud. We're gonna be here all night if we don't stay on topic." Little did she know that I would have been more than excited to stay the night with her, I just didn't think she'd agree on the activities I had in mind. "Who's your favorite band?"

"Three Days Grace." After my two hits I passed the joint back.

"Not bad. At least you have some taste. I was beginning to think you were a lost cause." I glared at her and she continued with the next question.

"Do you play any musical instruments?" She read off the paper. "I won't assume and you won't either. The past has nothing to do with now."

"I do still play the piano though," I admitted.

"I still play the piano and the guitar, obviously but I also play bass, cello, violin, harp and pretty much any other string instrument that you stick in front of me." She'd been busy over the last three years.

"What did you wanna be when you grew up?" She passed the joint back to me and I took another hit.

"Is that really one of the fuckin questions," she asked while looking down at her paper. "Huh, okay well, that hasn't changed since obviously it's been a long time since I was a little kid. I wanted to be-"

"-a rockstar. You used to play air guitar all the time, even when their was no music." I laughed. "And I wanted to be-"

"-a politician. What little kid dreams of being a fuckin politician anyway?"

"Hey! This little kid, okay? No judgments." I realized we were having an almost normal conversation and was surprised.

She must have realized it too because the next thing she said was, "yeah, I'm pretty sure I can't promise that. Take it or make up all the answers for your essay. I could give a shit."

 _She's making it hard enough just to be nice to her_

I attempted to change the subject. "So, now that you're nearly an adult, do you still wanna be a rockstar?" I handed the joint back.

"No. Even though that's something I could probably have now." I figured she was most likely right about that. I'd heard her band play at parties a few times and they were actually good. She had an amazing voice. "I wanna be an architect. Do you still wanna be a politician?"

"No. I wanna be a lawyer," I said with a genuine smile.

"So that makes your dream college Yale, right?"

"They do have the best law school in the country."

"What's your GPA?" She took a long drag and then put the joint out.

"A 4.06…and not from other people doing my work for me either," I warned.

"So it really must've struck a nerve when I suggested it, huh?"

"You could say that."

"I'm not apologizing so don't expect me to."

"You wouldn't be you if you did," I pronounced, settling on taking the honest approach. "So what does that make your dream school?"

She thought for a long moment and just when I had almost given up on her answering, planning to move on to the next question, she said, "I've never told anyone this. Not even Jon or Alec and I wouldn't be telling you if it weren't for this stupid assignment." She paused and I could tell there was a small war waging inside her. Finally she spoke again. "It's Harvard, okay?" I could tell this was an insecurity for her and she didn't have many as far as my eyes could see. "They have the best architecture program in the country. But it'll never fuckin happen so you better not ever tell anyone or next time, instead of slapping you, I'll make you beg for my palm to be the only thing hitting your face." I managed to get turned on again because the thought of her body on mine doing any kind of strenuous activity was just too enticing for my own good. "Seriously, you have to keep your mouth shut. I can't stand to be another disappointment." She shook her head and turned her eyes back to the paper, ending the possibility for follow up questions.

"Okay, so what mark do you hope to leave on the world?"

"I _only_ want to save the world, one criminal at a time."

"Somebody has a hero complex." She giggled and I thought about how nice the sound was and remembered that I'd heard it a lot, a very long time ago. The weird thing was though, I found myself missing it and I had no clue why.

 _ **~*0*0*0*~**_

 _ **C POV**_

I opened my lids, way too early Thursday morning to the sweet sound of Silversun Pickups and Jon sitting on the edge of my bed. I had been up until around midnight doing all my math homework and finishing Pride and Prejudice for like the millionth time. At first I thought I was having a dream because normally I was pretty ninja, not to mention a pretty light sleeper and didn't get snuck up on easily.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine," I said as I yawned and stretched. "What time is it?"

"A little before six. I couldn't sleep and I just felt like I needed to see you."

"What's wrong, Jon-Jon?"

"I just can't get over the fact that you're going to be graduating this year, with me. After everything, to have such an amazing GPA and be moving on a year early is nothing short of incredible. You amaze me Clare Bear and I'm so damn proud of you. I'm just so sorry there was a time in my life when I didn't realize it."

"I know you're not that person anymore. But regardless, I forgave you a long time ago. Is that what you're upset about?"

"Just listen for a second, Clare. Your whole life, all the people who were supposed to love you and take care of you have neglected you, left you or both. Dad was first and he couldn't help it so you can't really blame him but he's gone just the same. After that," he was getting choked up and paused as if he had to think of the words. "The two things that became the most important to mom were work and Luke. She saw the first chance to get out of the house that reminded her so much of the husband she lost and she took it. When she's home, I can tell it makes her sad to be here. It has for years but we weren't old enough to take care of ourselves when we were younger so she stayed until we could. She couldn't just sell the house that she shared with dad so her and Luke left you too. Then I'm supposed to take care of you, honestly the easiest job with the coolest little sister on the planet and I essentially left and neglected you, for an entire year. And still today, after you told us, I had the gall to say to Jace, 'at least I did something right' as if I had anything to do with your success. As if I didn't just abandon you right along with everyone else. I had no right to take credit for any it."

"But you had everything to do with it. You came back to me. I couldn't have done it without you, Jon. I always had someone around. Alec or whoever." I still couldn't bring myself to talk about what happened with Sebastian. Especially to my brother who would just blame himself even more.

"I should never have left you in the first place. It was never Alec's responsibility to take care of you, it was mine and I didn't," he seethed, "and it took you almost dying for me to wake the hell up."

"Better late than never?" I said, hesitantly with a smile. That dynamic was mostly normal for us. Jon would beat himself up over the past and I would remind him of the present. He would get angry enough to spit fire at someone, I would diffuse the situation with humor and he had his own way of calming me down. He took the place of a father and I took the place of a mother. Together, we were a complete family.

"You're such a smartass. I love you, come here," he said as he tried to pull me into a hug. With my small frame and fast movements, I easily evaded him.

"Nope. You come here," I said as I pulled him into my bed, on the other side of me. "We are going back to sleep. We've still got like an hour before we actually have to get up." He sat up and stiffened, looking at me hesitantly.

"Are you sure this okay? I mean, it's just that the only person you allow to sleep in your bed is Alec. Even Aline takes a guest room."

"It's fine Jon-Jon. I hope you know what you mean to me," I said as I snuggled into his chest. "Now no more talk, sleep."

He laughed and I could feel the rumble in his chest. He kissed my hair as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and said, "okay Clare Bear, sleep," and we were both claimed by slumber until we really had to rise and greet the world.

 _ **~*0*0*0*~**_

When the alarm went off at seven, I wanted to bury my head in the pillow. blink-182's 'Up All Night' was playing from my iPod and I pretty much felt like I had been. I knew we needed to stop with all the takeout though so I planned to cook breakfast and if I was fast enough, I figured I might even be able to get in 15 minutes with the bag in the basement even though the gym was on my agenda for after school. I knew I had to go even though I was dreading the confrontation with Joe

Jon sat up beside me. I looked at his face and he had purple bags under his eyes from getting too little sleep? I seriously hoped I didn't look like that.

"Jon, please tell me I don't have purple bags under my eyes like you do."

"Oh yeah, you totally have bags. Guess we're both gonna look like the dead today."

"Nope. Three reasons. Breakfast, coffee and frozen spoons."

"Really, Clare? Frozen spoons? I'm not a female. I don't do girly shit like that."

"Bullshit, Jon-Jon. I know you manscape _and_ moisturize. I've seen you through the bathroom door on my way up to bed a few times, plucking your eyebrows and putting lotion on."

"You better not ever tell anyone you saw that."

"Ehh, we'll see how I feel about it when the time comes," I said as I hurried out of bed. I looked back at Jon with a smirk on my face.

"Then you better hope I don't catch you." I cringed. I knew exactly what he was gonna do. "Oh yeah?" And with that I ran out of my room, down both flights of stairs and behind the island in the kitchen with Jon close on my heels.

"C'mon, Clare Bear. You know this will go much easier for you if you agree to keep quiet now because when I catch you, you know I won't stop until you do, even if that means you pissing yourself," he said, laughing evilly.

"Bring it." Jon chased me around and around the island in the kitchen. He had longer arms and legs but I was smaller and had more speed. We were a pretty good match for this sort of thing.

 _So much for the quick workout in the basement. I won't need it at this rate anyway_

We heard a knock at the door and Jace walked in before waiting for a response.

Jon turned his head and said, "oh hey, bro. We were just-"

And that's all I needed. A single moment where Jon was distracted to make my escape. So I did it, I made my mad dash out of the kitchen with what felt like lightning speed and as I ran, I thought to myself,

 _Maybe if I'm quick enough, I can make it to my bedroom and lock myself in before he can catch me_

I made it to the living room before I felt Jon tackle my ass over the couch. He pinned my arms by putting them above my head and holding them with one of his large hands and then he began to mercilessly tickle the shit out of me. I was flailing and squirming as Jace just stood there watching.

"Fuck...Jon...Stop...Asshole," I shouted among other things as he continued to attack me. Through the moisture leaking from my eyes, I thought I saw a smile on Jace's face, but I might've been wrong.

 _ **Jace POV**_

When I jerked my eyelids open to the sound of the my alarm clock blaring in my ear, I almost lost my cool again. Satan must have invented those things to punish people for all the bad shit they'd done so he could get his vengeance on earth as well as in Hell. I had never been a morning person. It was mostly the sound of the alarm that I hated, well...and the waking up part but mostly the alarm. Unfortunately, it was the only thing that could wake me up unless I woke up naturally. A learned trait from childhood, sadly.

I got up early because most days of the week, I worked out in the morning before anyone else was up. The Institute had an expensive gym in it, equipped with a lap pool, sauna and every machine you could imagine since all of us kids were involved in sports of some sort. __

My normal routine included lifting weights, leg presses, sit ups, running a couple miles on the treadmill and going a few rounds with a punching bag. Today I was a little more pressed for time though. I needed to get over to the Morgenstern's. I had left my backpack with my Macbook in it over there last night and hadn't gotten to finish all of my homework. I thought back to last night.

 **Flashback**

C and I finished our worksheets after about an hour of talking. Jon had come in about halfway through, saying all their groceries had been delivered and asked us to come help put them away so we could make quick work of it. We went back to finish about five minutes later. We spent the first part of the hour with her at first, barely concealing the bitch that she so desperately wanted to be to me, with me trying not to pop wood or be an asshole and with both of us silently wishing for very different things to happen. Then, as we smoked, she actually started to become nicer and it turn I became nicer. For lack of a better word, it was weird. Things seemed to go back to normal when we finished around 7:30pm and she kicked me out of her room saying that she needed to go cook Jon dinner. She said that we were done anyway so I had no more reason to be in her happy place. She put on a short, black robe and practically pushed me out the door. I walked down the stairs and knocked on Jon's door to let him know we were done working. He opened and ushered me in.

"Good timing. I'm almost done." He went back and sat on his bed, picking his notebook and pencil back up, while I took a seat at his desk. "What's Clare doing?"

"She said she was going to cook you dinner and kicked me out of her room."

"Of course she did and with good reason," he looked at me with mock seriousness. "She's gotta cook her darling older brother dinner which is excellent cuz I'm starving." I laughed at his enthusiasm as he bolted for the door. He turned when he got there and said, "you can stay for dinner if you want. You know she only knows how to cook for an army." I did know. She taught herself to cook when we were kids because their mom worked so much and she wanted to make sure that Jon ate. Even when we were essentially absent from each other's lives, their fridge was always stocked with leftovers. No one ever went hungry in the Morgenstern house thanks to C and she was a damn good cook.

"Let's go." He opened the door and we trekked to the kitchen, the aroma of food getting stronger every step we took.

When we entered the kitchen, I heard Jon ask, hopefully, "are you making chicken yakisoba?"

"Yep. With snow peas, broccoli, mushrooms, water chestnuts, red and yellow peppers, carrots and your favorite teriyaki sauce. Should be enough to last a few days, maybe. Depends on how big of piglets you both make out of yourselves tonight." She gestured to me with her chin. "I'm assuming douche is eating with us?"

"Yeah, he's staying. It smells awesome in here. I'm so glad I can't cook worth shit," he grinned, widely at her.

"Yeah, it's so thrilling that you could accidentally kill us anytime you use any appliance in the kitchen," C deadpanned, which caused me to snicker. "I swear you and Izzy are the poster couple for Extreme Home Makeover:The House Fire Edition." I burst out laughing because I had been witness to many kitchen fires over the years. Jon gave me a look that blatantly said, _shut-the-fuck-up-bro-you're-not-helping._

"At least I don't even attempt it anymore since the last incident," Jon pointed out.

"Thank the Angel for that."

"But Izzy has gotten a little better since you've been helping her."

 _So that's why she's been cooking food that's actually edible although kind of overdone_

"She pays attention and she tries, unlike some people." She pointedly looked at Jon. "She's getting better at cooking but just can't get the oven temperatures down. She really wants to bake but I don't think she's ready for that yet. Maybe I can put it on my college applications as tutoring a student in home economics?" Her face lit up with a huge cheesy smile that made an uncomfortable feeling surface in my chest. I looked away from her, trying to rid myself of the almost painful sensation. When it was gone, I turned back to the conversation.

The rest of the night went on like that, with the two Morgenstern's playfully bickering back and forth. It had been a long time since I was witness to anything like it between them. We ate dinner and I tried my best not to stare at C. I felt that pang in my chest a few more times during the night but ignored it each time in favor of diverting my attention to Peaky Blinders, which we were watching on Netflix. C eventually went back to her room to complete the math homework that Jon apparently had to pick up for her while she was in the office. Jon and I just chilled until I decided to head home.

 **End Flashback**

I finished up my routine about an hour and a half after starting and went to take a shower. I was done in record time and rushed out the door. Izzy called behind me but I ignored her and kept walking.

I pulled up to Jon's a few minutes later and walked up to the door to announce my presence but was used to just entering. When I walked in, the first thing I noticed was C and Jon standing on opposite sides of the island in their kitchen. The tension in the room was palpable. I took the second before Jon looked at me to check C out, or at least what I could see of her. She was a little disheveled, I assumed because she'd just woken from sleep but she was still wearing those green satin pajamas and looked so fuckin sexy. There was a wild look in her eyes that conveyed the fact that she had been challenged and she wasn't backing down. I had seen that look many times.

Jon turned to greet me and I knew she'd make a run for it. Not even two seconds later, she bolted. She was fast too. She made it to the living room and was running behind the couch when Jon tackled her over the back of it and pinned her down. He was tickling the shit out of her and it looked like he had not intention of stopping. I walked towards the couch and stood next to it, watching as C flailed and yelled obscenities at her brother. Her top opened up almost enough to see more than I'm sure she wanted to display. I certainly wasn't going to point it out. It was suddenly hard to swallow.

"Do you promise yet?"

"NO!" She shouted as she continued to laugh and squirm.

"I will tickle you until you piss yourself and then you'll have to spend part of your monthly allowance on a new couch," he goaded. She tried to hold out and she was successful for at least a few minutes but you could tell Jon knew all the best places to get a reaction out of her.

"Fine...I...promise...just...stop," she managed to say, breathlessly through her fit of giggles.

Jon finally let go of her wrists and then seemed to realize how much he was about to see of his sister because he immediately grabbed the sides of her shirt and pulled them closed before tossing me a glare.

"What?" I asked, innocently.

"Nothing," he replied as he schooled his features and got off of his sister, pulling her off the couch with him.

"I was gonna cook you breakfast before you started being an ass, Jonathan," she scolded. She smacked him upside his head.

"Ouch," he said as he gingerly rubbed the spot she had just abused. "You're a dick." He smiled.

"Yeah, well you're a twatface...and you should be nicer to the person who could potentially poison you at any time since they cook your meals."

"Wait, wait, wait...What did you call me?"

"A twatface. You know, twat. Also known as cooch, pussy, muff, pink taco, snatch, nookie, slit, pooter, gash, cookie, beaver, nana, vajayjay or my personal favorite, the breakfast of champions," she smirked. We both looked at her incredulously with our jaws on the floor. I never expected anything like that to come out of her mouth, yet I should have, she certainly had never had a filter unless one was required. When those words fell from her lips, each one sounded more seductive than the last.

 _What I wanna do to that dirty mouth_

"There are a lot more referring specifically to holes and how the male genitalia enter them but I left those out because they don't really apply to me currently. You guys should really check out Urban Dictionary and get an education. It's full of all sorts of useful information," she explained, shrugging her shoulders like she'd just read the ingredients from the back of a box of cereal.

 _She said currently._

"Clare Bear," Jon warned.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Something about my bad mouth and not sounding like a lady or educated or something like that blah de blah. Got it." she complained.

"So were you telling me I look like a pussy?" He asked jokingly, going back to his previous relaxed demeanor, seemingly realizing he could put his dad cap away.

"No Jon, I love you. Your face is beautiful and I don't wanna lick it at all so I think you're safe," she said, with another smirk. Before he could react, she jetted to the kitchen, yelling something about breakfast, coffee, omelettes and toast.

Jon turned to me and asked, "did that seriously just come out of her mouth?"

"Pretty sure it did, man."

"The mouth on that girl. On one hand, it's funny because you wouldn't expect a star student to talk like that. At the same time, it's a little unnerving to be talking pussy with your baby sister. Shit bro, she's growing up fast...too fast."

"That she is," I said, trying to suppress my arousal in her brother's presence as I, for probably the thousandth time, thought about exactly all the parts of her that had grown up.


	9. Life In Training

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahah. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 _ **A/N: Here's another chapter for you guys. Sorry about taking so long to update. Don't forget to review!**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Less Than Jake - All My Best Friends Are Metalheads***

 ***Rancid - Red Hot Moon (C's Anthem)**

 ***The Kinks - Come Dancing***

 ***blink-182 - Rabbit Hole***

 ***Marilyn Manson - Tainted Love***

 _ **C POV**_

By the time Friday morning rolled around, Aline still hadn't uttered one damn word to me. Her and Helen were attached at the hip. I wasn't going to apologize. The only thing I did was maybe deliver the information a little rougher than I should have. The information itself, she'd just have to learn to deal with.

 _ **Flashback**_

I had spent all of Thursday afternoon at the gym working out with Joe. I needed to work off all the stress that had built up over the week and all the stress that would be coming. Jace, Aline, the party, the gallery opening, SATs, ACTs, college applications. It was a lot to take in. And as I'd learned in the past, stress and I didn't mix.

Let's just say Joe was pretty pissed at me for taking almost a week off from training, especially when I told him I'd been eating like shit on top of it. I did explain about the work on my back from Tuesday so he was a little more lenient and let me go around eight instead of keeping me until ten like he'd originally planned.

Joe was in his late twenties, 5'11" with hazel eyes, a light brown faux hawk and a muscular build. He'd moved from California six years ago. He was a professional MMA fighter who bought the gym so he could sculpt other fighters into champions in his free time. He employed eight other current or previous fighters or boxers of some sort for that exact purpose so I was lucky to get him as my personal instructor. He was trained in eleven different forms of martial arts so you could say he was pretty much a badass.

Joe was rough on you when it came to putting in time at the gym. But he was the kind of guy, that was into working hard and playing harder. In his free time, he loved extreme sports, base jumping and sky diving, not to mention, Alec and I would often run into him at the skate park. Last year, during spring break, he even took me and my usual sparring partner, Eli, back home with him when he went to go visit his family. He taught us how to surf, jet ski and took us parasailing. It was the best. Over the couple years I'd known him, he'd become so much more than the guy teaching me how to knock people out.

When I was completely wrecked, it was partly Joe that had brought me back. But the first day I met him was much earlier than that. That first day he showed me some basic moves and then I didn't see him again for almost six months. He didn't even know my name and he was so nice to me. When I came back in, it's like he could tell that something awful had happened to me. And maybe the way I looked that day is why he decided to be the one to train me, I guess I'll never know but I was so broken back then. Between him, Alec and Jon, somehow, I got through it. The pain is still there but they made life bearable again.

We did a lot of work with the bag, working on technique for punches and kicks. A couple of weeks ago, Joe finally agreed to teach me Muay Thai so we were just working on learning the basics of using knees and elbows to inflict damage. Kickboxing had been my thing for so long but Eli and I decided we were gonna conquer a more advanced form of fighting together.

I took a shower and dressed at the gym in my customary after workout clothes of baggy black sweats and charcoal button up thermal and went to say goodnight to Joe. We had a short conversation about how things were going and he told me about his latest mountain climbing adventure over the weekend. He invited me to a new extreme skate course that he heard about a couple hours away and told me to bring Alec and we'd make a day trip out of it. We planned it for a few weeks out, which I knew would be the weekend before SATs, so we could unwind a little before we sent our brains into overdrive.

That's when I decided to tell him about graduating early. He gave me the biggest hug which was weird because Joe didn't hug. Fist bumps, yes, hugs, no. He told me how important school was and how he was so glad he had enough sense to get his degree in business by going to school while doing MMA. He told me the progress I had made since he met me was incredible and how he could always tell I had underlying strength that just needed to be tapped into. And then he said something to me that totally blew me away. He said 'I love you like you were my own, kid and I'm proud of you like you were my own'. The look in his eyes told me that he meant it and it nearly brought me to tears. I held them in though because I did not cry, not since that day and I had myself convinced that I never would again. I gave him another hug and I knew I was latching on to him for dear life but he seemed to know that I needed it and just let me hang onto him until I was ready to let go. Then the moment was gone as if it never happened and I was packing up my gear. Before leaving, I promised him I'd come back in the following day to make up for being lazy all week.

I knew Jon had leftovers to eat so I went over to Alec's after my gym session and hung out with him and Mags, just playing video games and trying very hard not to eat junk food. Let's just say, the latter wasn't exactly a success. After we got sick of video games, we watched SLC Punk!, just like Alec promised me. It wasn't Mags' favorite by far. He said it was too dark but he tolerated it for us, plus he said Matthew Lillard was hot. I went to sleep in Alec's bed, curled up between him and Magnus, feeling like the child of my two amazing best friends.

 _ **End Flashback**_

Friday, I took a shower, following my usual routine from home since I kept spare almost everything at Alec's just like he did at mine. I was so sore and tired from yesterday's workout session since I hadn't done it all week that I spent at least a half an hour under the water trying to loosen up my muscles. I forgot all about trying to dress sexy to mess with Jace. I just wanted to get dressed and get school over with so the damn week would be done and then all I'd have to worry about was doing homework and the party on Saturday. Mags, Alec and I had scheduled SAT and ACT study sessions for next week so the weekends would really be my only downtime, if that. I would even probably be putting band practice on hold for a couple weeks.

I came out of the bathroom in a towel with my hair in a high ponytail, natural curls, and side swept bangs still in my face, wearing only eyeliner and mascara but nothing else. I pulled some white lace thong and a matching bra from Alec's drawer and walked into the closet to dress. Even though I was fine with Alec seeing my body, I wasn't quite as comfortable with Mags. I had known him for three years but that was nothing compared to practically my whole life.

In Alec's closet, I found a white corset tank and a pair of black shredded skinny jeans that happened to fit like a glove. I put on my grommeted belt with the big silver buckle to accent. I pulled my black suede side zip jacket off another hanger and then picked up my black, shirred ankle boots that had 4 inch heels and carried them to Alec's chair. Mags was just getting out of the shower and Alec was walking around in black boxers with a toothbrush in his mouth. When Mags saw me, his mouth popped open.

"Biscuit, while this is a nice look, it just doesn't seem like the level of effort you've been putting in the past few days. What's been going on with you?"

"I don't know Mags, I know we put all that work into shopping but sometimes I need the comfort of my old clothes. I just don't feel like putting in the effort today. Plus, I can't wear skirts everyday." He crossed his arms and sighed.

"If I had it my way, you would." I rolled my eyes.

"Good thing you don't have it your way then, huh?" He glared at me, then put on a pouty face. I chuckled at his obvious frustration. "At least I'm wearing the ankle boots." I held them up to show him and he seemed to brighten up.

I put on my boots as I watched Alec put on an olive green Flogging Molly t-shirt and black jeans with a pair of camo chucks. Mags dressed in a purple tank with a blue vest, tight, green snakeskin pants and black Doc Marten boots. He walked back into the bathroom and came out five minutes later with his hair gelled and in spikes, adorned with blue glitter. We went out to our cars and made our way to school. I was so not ready for the day.

 _ **Jace POV**_

She was laying down on my king size bed, surrounded by my white comforter, wearing nothing but white lacy panties. I had already removed all other pieces of her clothing before placing her lightly on my bed. I was hovering over her, with my lower half resting between her legs. My mouth was on hers, exploring, devouring. I placed small kisses from the corner of her lips to her cheek and then made my way down to the hollow of her neck. I remained there for a moment, placing open-mouthed kisses that I knew would leave a mark but she didn't seem to mind, proven by the small gasps coming from her perfect lips. I had never put so much energy into kissing someone before but I surprisingly liked it. I continued on my way down from her neck to her collarbone, and then to her amazing tits. I pulled her right nipple in my mouth, alternating between sucking and gently biting. I switched back and forth between each breast showing them equal attention until I felt her grinding her core against me.

"Please, Jace. Just fuck me. Now. I can't take it anymore. I'm already so wet." I went to take off her panties and could feel that they were soaked.

I pulled them down her legs and rubbed my fingers up and down her slick folds, just barely grazing her clit. I felt her whole body shudder.

"Fuck. Jace. Now," she said as she tried to suppress a moan.

"Don't worry, baby. This is gonna feel so fuckin good." I removed my boxers, before positioning myself at her entrance. I sunk into her hard and fast, both of us releasing a groan at the feeling. I pulled all the way out and slammed back into her, making her scream in pleasure. I started to pump into her while she wrapped her legs around me and dug her heels into my ass cheeks, spurring me on.

"Harder, Jace," she begged. "I want everything to disappear but you and me." I obliged by pounding into her at an excruciating pace. She was screaming obscenities while matching me thrust for thrust. I quickly flipped her over onto her hands and knees, hardly missing a beat. I continued to slam into her from behind, one hand holding onto her hair for leverage the other digging into her hip so hard, I was sure I'd leave a bruise. I could feel her walls starting to tighten around me so letting go of her hair, I reached around and started expertly rubbing her clit with my fingers.

"Cum for me, baby. I want to feel you drench my cock." I flicked her clit one last time before feeling her detonate around me.

"Oh shit, Ja-ace," she screamed as she shuddered. I continued to relentlessly enter her, trying to find my own release. Her head was thrown back in ecstasy as her whole body quaked while she gripped the sheets as if she wanted to tear themapart. Her walls continued to contract around me as she rode out her orgasm and I could feel mine coming on in response so I pounded into her as fast as our bodies would allow.

"Oh fuck, oh shit-"

Riiiiiiiiing! Riiiiiiiiiing! Riiiiiiiiiiing!

 _Fuck. FUCK! Friday morning and I wake up to the shittiest sound ever from one of the best dreams I've ever had with my dick as hard as rock_.

The alarm clock almost got taken down again, this time for two reasons. I really had to find a way to teach myself to wake up to something other than that sound. I needed an alternative on the weekdays to make sure I got up on time that didn't nearly wake the whole house but didn't feel like I'd have much luck in that department. What I did know is that I had to get rid of my morning wood that was so stiff, it was almost painful.

I went and hopped in the shower, turning the faucet to the biting cold that I seemed to be becoming extremely familiar with. I bit back any unmanly noises threatening to escape my lips. After standing under the freezing cold water for a good five minutes, I realized my problem wasn't going away. I quickly attempted my tried and true method of thinking about naked old women but even that couldn't burn the dream out of my memory. All of this was proof that if I ever wanted to get to school, I'd have to take care of the problem myself. And for the first time in years, I took matters into my own hands, with thoughts of touches on my mind and C's name on my lips.

 _ **Flashback**_

Thursday, after an incredibly boring day at school, I had decided I was going to get in some time with Alec. After school, I was generally hooking up with a girl, doing homework or with Jon. He was almost always with C and if he wasn't with her, he was with Magnus so the chances for us to hangout together were rare. We settled on a game of one on one at the park. First person to twenty-one points won. We played three games and I won two of them.

When we were done and needed a rest, we sat down on the bench and drank deeply from our water bottles. Conversation hadn't been easy between Alec and I for the past three years. We still hung out every once in awhile and he covered for me with Robert and Maryse when he could but things hadn't been the same. I felt like he was closer to Jon than he was me. They had one very important thing in common...C. Even though he was really into sports and that was something we had together, we were just different. It didn't help that he was extremely protective of C, just like Jon but unlike him, he heard first hand exactly how I had treated her and I had a suspicion he could tell how bad I wanted her now. That's why I was surprised when he spoke to me about something that would allow me to spend more time with her even if it also helped out my future.

"So, are you taking the SATs and ACTs again this year?"

"I plan on taking my SATs again just to see if I can improve my score but I was happy with my ACT score. I got a 34 which is pretty much epic."

"Yeah, I'd say that's pretty damn epic. I got a 29 so I plan on taking the test again. I need over a 30 to look appealing to the good colleges. What did you get on your last SATs?" Alec asked, curiously.

"I pulled a 2010, which is good but not great. I'm hoping for at least a 2200. I need that for Yale to even consider me."

"You have high expectations for yourself."

"Everyone assumes that just because...well, because I'm me, that I'm not serious about school which is bullshit. C acted as though it wasn't possible for me to get into an AP class on my own."

"Well, she doesn't have the highest opinion of you anyway and I can't really blame her."

"She'll reconsider. No girl can resist this. Not even C."

"Whatever keeps the tears away, bro," he said while laughing and slowly shaking his head. "Anyway, the reason I was asking if you were retaking your SATs and ACTs is because we have a study group going for the people taking it in three weeks. Mags and I have been studying together for about two months and I know Jon has been working on his own and I'm assuming you have too. I don't know about Bat yet but we were gonna ask him if he wanted to join too. This is partly a cram session for C since she just found out she's taking them now instead of in the spring like she planned but I have no doubt she'll do awesome because that's just who she is. We just thought it'd be chill to get everyone together to study."

"Does she know you're asking me to join?"

"No...and I doubt she'll be happy about it," he said, pointedly, "but I couldn't in good conscience ask everyone else to participate and leave your stupid ass out, so I'm asking," Alec admitted. "It's not like she's gonna be alone with you or that she doesn't already spend a ridiculous amount of time with you because of class. And at least I'll be there to mediate."

I didn't need to think about it. It was a no brainer. I could use the extra help and it meant that I got to spend extra time with C, which I needed if I was going to reach my goal. So I agreed to join their study group.

Alec and I grabbed our stuff and walked home. We split up when we got in the door, him to go shower and me to get in a couple hours in our workout room. When I finally made it back to my room, I was sweaty and starved. I took a nice long shower to relax my sore muscles before throwing on some sweats and making my way to the kitchen. Maryse had made chicken chili for dinner so I ate some of the leftovers in a bowl without even reheating it. After I finished, I went back to my room to get dressed. I pretty much had standing plans with Jon most nights but always on nights with no practice. When I was exiting my room to go to the garage, I saw C walk into Alec's room wearing sweats and a gray thermal which was exactly what she was wearing the night she gave me that lapdance. Thinking of that memory led me to think about C's moans as Aline pleasured her and I was back to having to still my dick so I could keep myself from the bite of the cold water that I knew I'd be feeling any minute if I didn't calm down. By the Angel, I wanted her. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun and even though I preferred it down she looked relaxed and it was beautiful. I just stood there even after the door shut and immediately heard the faint sounds of chatter and laughter coming from Alec's room. I found myself wanting to be a part of that. I pushed it aside as I walked out the door.

I hopped in my BMW, checking my glove box to make sure I had condoms. I sped out of the garage and down the street as fast as possible. I needed to get the hell away from C and fast. I didn't like that occasional tight feeling in my chest that happened sometimes when she was around. When I made it to Amber's, I snuck to the side of her house that held her window and tossed a tiny rock up to it. She leaned out a few moments later, motioning me to the front door. When she opened up, she immediately started to undress me before explaining she didn't even have to sneak me in because her parents were out of town. We had most of our clothes off before the door was even shut and I was buried in her before we even made it up the stairs.

Less than twenty minutes later, I was sitting outside Jon's. When I walked in, he and Izzy were making out on the couch with her straddling his lap. I covered my eyes to keep them from falling out.

"Can you please stop sucking face with my sister? It's disgusting and I have this strange urge to punch you in the face right now."

"You're the one who just _walked_ in," Jon said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I always just _walk_ in."

"Then I'm not responsible for what you walk in on," he said, nonchalantly.

"Jace, you don't get to dictate what I do with my boyfriend. Don't be an ass."

"I'll stop making out with her since you're here because, not that it would ever happen, but just the thought of you touching my sister makes me wanna cave your head in with a baseball bat."

"You wouldn't really want to mess up this gorgeous face now would you? Besides, who could possibly resist this?"

"Obviously C," Izzy said before giggling. I glared at her before turning back to Jon.

"I know she's off limits, Jon. You have nothing to worry about." I knew I was blatantly lying to him but how do you tell your best friend that all you can think about is getting his little sister naked and underneath you?

"As if it would matter. She may be the only girl who likes boys that hasn't fallen for your so called charms," Jon pointed out.

 _We'll see about that_

"That's because she actually has some brain cells. Jace isn't used to girls who read books. He's into girls with nice racks," Izzy said, bluntly.

"I love how everyone knows me so well. I don't even have to talk. Saves time," I didn't attempt to hide my irritation. Maybe some of the girls I slept with were smart, I just never really stuck around to find out. I thought about bringing up the fact that C technically qualified for both but I didn't think that'd do me any favors with either of them.

Izzy was never one to back down. She huffed and scowled at me before turning back to Jon. "I'm gonna go, Jon. I've got homework and I've gotta talk to mom about going to the lake for our anniversary. Let her know that someone else will have to watch Max that weekend since we'll be staying until Sunday and they'll be out of town." Robert and Maryse were very progressive. They were doctors so they kind of had to be realistic. They knew we were teenagers. They knew we had sex. They knew we drank and partied and the Angel knew what else. They only requested pretty much the same things as Phyl. No one got pregnant or arrested but Robert's motto was 'wrap it before you tap it' and as far as I know, Alec and I always had. I'm sure Maryse had a similar conversation with Izzy.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, baby. I love you."

"I love you." She gave him a lingering kiss that was much more than I wanted to see. I turned my head in disgust. After what felt like hours, they finally broke away and she walked out the door. Jon watched her go and then turned to me.

"So what are we doing tonight?"

"I thought we'd play some COD, so you can see how badly it hurts to be put on your ass."

"Don't think so, bro. I am the Call of Duty master. You're goin down," Jon threatened. We played COD until almost midnight before Jon decided it was time to haul himself upstairs. I went home and quickly did my homework, passing out around one in the morning.

 _ **End Flashback**_

I knew I'd have to take another shower but I needed to focus on something else besides that dream. Physical exertion would help with that. I made my way to the gym and ran two miles, lifted weights, did leg presses, sit-ups, push-ups, pull-ups until I couldn't think anymore.

I went back to my room and straight into the shower after peeling off my sweaty clothes. I thought I was going to take a hot shower but in the quiet of the bathroom, my mind started to wander. The dream replayed itself in my head over and over. I tried my usual tricks, including my new best friend that seemed to be freezing cold water, but for the second time in a long time, I took things into my own hands once again, with the name of the sexy redhead on my lips.

 _ **C POV**_

I was standing at my locker after a painful third period Spanish class with Jace, who still seemed to be ogling me since he first saw me in the morning despite my being almost fully covered. Aline came up to her locker and awkwardly exchanged books with her head down while trying not to look at me. After a minute or so of the increasing silence between us, she turned, grabbed my face and kissed me. We weren't talking about a light peck on the lips. This was rough and demanding. She moved to stand in front of me and backed me into my open locker which was uncomfortable but at that moment, I didn't care. At first I resisted but it didn't take me long to start kissing back, applying the same amount of pressure and opening my mouth to her. Our tongues tasted and caressed each other with passion. Suddenly, Aline broke our kiss and looked me in the eyes.

"I realize that I overreacted and I'm sorry. It was just the thought of you being around Jace and you leaving me and the fact that I love you. I know it's not an excuse for how I've been acting but you just make me so damn crazy."

She began, placing open mouthed kisses from behind my ear all the way down to the exposed part of my neck.

"Mmmm...Aline, you know I can't think when you're doing that."

"I know," she said as she nipped my ear. I purred in appreciation. "It's lunchtime. We could skip and go somewhere. The Auditorium is now out I heard so maybe an empty classroom?" She was lustily looking into my eyes with her almond-shaped brown ones while cupping my sex through my tight jeans. It was providing just the right amount of friction. Our lockers were open so no one could see but the excitement of possibly getting caught was driving me crazy. I bit down on my bottom lip to try and stifle a moan.

"Mr Gray is never in his classroom during lunch."

"Let's go," she said as she slammed our lockers shut and pulled me through the crowd, down the hall.

I stopped in my tracks and pulled back on my arm. "This doesn't mean I forgive you," I said, wanting to make that point very clear.

"Baby, come on. I don't want to think about that right now. I said I was sorry and I wanna show you just how sorry I am," she said, suggestively. Who the fuck was I kidding. I was still sexually frustrated from Monday or just frustrated in general, probably both. I kept forgetting to put batteries on the grocery list so I hadn't gotten any help from my trusty little friend, not that I was much for doing the work myself anyway.

"Okay, but we're talking about all this shit afterward." She was already pulling me down the hall again before I finished my sentence. We snuck into Mr Gray's classroom and left the lights off to make sure it looked like no one was in there.

Aline had my suede jacket and shirt off before I had really even touched her. I went to take her shirt off but she she put her hand on my arms and pushed them down. "This is for you, baby. This is me showing you that I'm sorry and I love you."

I quickly removed my shoes and then her lips were back on mine. She removed my pants and thong without even breaking the kiss. She pushed me back on Mr Gray's desk and pulled each breast out of its cup. She used her teeth to play with my nipples until I was teetering on the edge. Over the last six months, Aline and I had had a lot of time to figure out what drove each other crazy. She chose that moment to shove two fingers inside me, stroking my upper wall and rubbing circles around my clit with her thumb. It quickly threw me over the edge. I buried my face in her neck to keep from crying out.

"Now that we've got the first one out of the way," she smirked as she spread my legs wide and went to work with her mouth on my cunt. Three orgasms later, I could hardly move. Aline got up, wiped her mouth and kissed me hard before pulling away and looking into my eyes.

"I'd ask if you enjoyed that but by the amount of times you came in about thirty minutes, I don't think I need to." She smirked. I flipped her off which only caused her to laugh at me. "I'm pretty sure I just did that with my tongue and fingers...multiple times." I rolled my eyes at her. Since I was still too dead to move, she gathered my clothes. I tried to dress as quickly as possible.

"Lunch is almost over. We need to get out of here before Mr Gray comes back." We walked back out, heading to the lunchroom for a quick snack before we had to go to fourth period.

 _ **~*0*0*0*~**_

I really had to get to my training session with Joe and Aline had community service so after school, we sat in my car and tried to quickly talk about what happened. I was still pissed that she thought I would hurt her on purpose and that she used Helen to get to me but also the fact that she wasn't happy for me. If the roles had been reversed, I'd have been excited for her and yeah, I'd have been worried about our relationship but I would've talked about it with her like a rational person. As for the whole Jace thing, I explained that there was no chance that we'd ever even become friends let alone hook up or anything else because we had...history, history that I preferred not to dwell on because it just pissed me off even more. Promising myself I'd take it out on Eli and Joe at the gym, I pushed my anger down temporarily to focus on my girlfriend.

Her response was exactly what I expected it to be. She continued to apologize profusely for overreacting, which was a common theme since she did it a lot. She promised to stop hanging out with Helen. She explained that she was just so hurt and she was concerned that I was going to break up with her. She thought maybe I was cheating on her with Jace, which I took serious offense to. I might've been a lot of crazy rolled into one but I was not a cheater. I told her how much it hurt me again, that she thought I would do anything that would intentionally hurt her and she brought up the fact that I hadn't told her I loved her still. That got me even more pissed because I was tired of being pressured into doing things I wasn't ready for. I wouldn't let anyone think I could be forced into anything I didn't choose myself, no matter what it was. I ended up telling Aline I had to go, feeling even worse after our conversation than before it.

I got to the gym and immediately went to the back to change into my boy shorts and sports bra. The more capability for movement, the better. When I came back out, I saw that Joe was working with Eli and his trainer, Tony Chan, who happened to be a famous fighter, specializing in Muay Thai, Jujitsu and Kung Fu. He had won all sorts of competitions in Asia before making his way back to the states. When Joe saw me, he looked me up and down, assessing my overall posture.

"Looks like someone's ready to kick some ass today." He smirked.

"Joe, you have no fuckin idea. Let's do this shit," I said as I began taping up my hands. We were gonna practice what we'd learned so far in Muay Thai. Eli was gonna get the fight of his life and he had no idea. Poor kid.

 _ **Jace POV**_

When I got downstairs and into the kitchen, Maryse was standing at the stove cooking pancakes. A rare sight since her and Robert were always working in their lab, being called off to hospitals or traveling for work.

"Jace, can I interest you in some pancakes?"

"Sure. I'll just take mine to go. I'm gonna go hang out at Jon's before school."

"Okay, well Robert and I are going out of town for about a month for an emergency clinical trial at the Mayo Clinic. We were gonna tell you all together but we can't seem to get the three of you in a room at the same time. We just found out about forty-five minutes ago."

"Alright, we can hold down the fort. Are you taking Max this time?"

"We would like to keep him here. A month is a long time to miss school and we'll be busy so we won't have time to help with his lessons. I hope you guys don't mind watching him, not that you have a choice." We all knew what Maryse said, went and there was no arguing.

"As long as Izzy isn't cooking, we can keep him alive." Maryse laughed before quickly composing herself but then we heard a familiar voice. We turned our heads to see Izzy standing in the doorway.

"I heard that," she said sounding outraged. "I'm getting better thanks to C but cooking is hard work," she whined.

"We've noticed honey and we're very grateful to Clarissa for teaching you. That girl just surprises me around every corner. Jocelyn called to say she's graduating early. Why didn't anyone tell me. That's an amazing accomplishment." Maryse wasn't really aware of the fact that people grow apart as they get older and their interests change. In the case of me and C, it was a lot more complicated. I didn't really have an answer for her and it didn't seem like Izzy did either so I decided to take the opportunity to make a quick exit.

"Gotta go. Heading to Jon's." I grabbed the plastic bag that Maryse had stuffed a few pancakes in as I picked up my bag and headed out to my car.

Before I could even get in, I decided that if I was gonna have to be around C all day, I needed to get laid so instead of going to Jon's, I went five houses down where one of the girls from the squad, Tiffany, lived. I walked through her side gate to her open window and scared the shit out of her as she was getting dressed for school. Her parents were home and we both knew she couldn't be quiet so I ended up fucking her from behind, against the wall on her back porch while holding my hand over her mouth. I was trying to keep my mind on the hot girl I was currently impaling but when I closed my eyes as I came, all I could see was red hair and green eyes.

I left her and made my way to school. Arriving in first period, I saw that I had gotten there just after C. She was peeling off a suede jacket and was wearing a white tank with sinfully tight, low riding skinny jeans that had rips all up and down them, allowing her creamy skin to peek through. Bat's handiwork was a dark contrast to all the white but it made her look like a dark angel. This definitely seemed more like her than the way she'd been dressing for the last week and she was still sexy as hell. It was hard to keep my eyes off her. I thought back to my dream. Fuck, she was so perfect. I had the urge to unwrap her like a present. By the Angel, I wanted her. Then she looked up at me with those eyes that felt like they were examining my soul and I felt that tightening in my chest again. Something was happening to me but I wasn't sure what and I wasn't ready to find out.

The rest of school went by normally with football practice afterward. When it was over, we showered and went back to Jon's. We found more leftover Yakisoba in the fridge and devoured it. We started playing Mortal Combat and about two hours later, we had a pretty even number of wins and losses. We decided to switch to Borderlands and began tearing it up.

C walked in the front door around eight-thirty in the same sweats and gray thermal. She had wet hair in a messy bun so I assumed she'd been at the gym. She headed straight to the kitchen without uttering a word, even to Jon. About twenty minutes later, the most mouth watering smells started coming from the kitchen. I thought it was some kind of Italian food. It was forty minutes after that when C emerged, walked straight past us and headed upstairs to her room. Jon looked at me and while I could tell he wanted to go eat whatever was waiting in the kitchen, he knew something was wrong. It took him a few minutes to gather his thoughts.

"I need to go talk to her, man. I don't know what to say but she seems really upset. She just walked right by without saying anything."

"That's cool, bro. I'll be here." In truth, I was worried about her too. That made me feel strange. On the one hand, I kind of liked the thought of worrying about her because it reminded me of old times but at the same time, I had to admit that I was scared as hell. I didn't care about girls...I couldn't. It was even hard to be around Izzy. What was this short little, gorgeous redhead doing to me?


	10. Ain't No Party Like A Morgenstern Party

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahah. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 _ **A/N: Here's the newest chapter for you my lovelies. I wanted to post early. I hope you enjoy and don't forget to review for me**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Airbourne - Ready To Rock***

 ***The Promise Ring - Skips A Beat (Over You)***

 ***Good Charlotte - The Anthem***

 ***Anti-Flag - Drink Drank Punk***

 ***Bouncing Souls - Hopeless Romantic***

 _ **C POV**_

It was the morning of the party and I opened my eyes with a groan. I had another dream about Izzy, this time it was me eating her out on my kitchen counter while she wore nothing but an apron. I had to admit she was hot, hell she was gorgeous but sooo not my type and the very real thought of putting my mouth where my brother's dick had been was a definite turnoff. I had to be grateful that the dreams were pleasurable though instead of the occasional nightmares that still crept up on me in my sleep.

I hadn't slept very well despite the pleasant dream. The conversation with Aline yesterday was weighing on my mind. Jon had come upstairs last night to try and talk to me about it but I just couldn't put what I was feeling into words. I just had a bad feeling. I knew better than most about trust issues but for her to think I'd cheat on her with Jace was just ridiculous. She had some severe insecurity if she thought I'd stoop that low, especially with Jace of all people. I understood I needed to talk to her about it more. Where we were at now, made me uncomfortable and I didn't like it.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts and looked at my clock and it was just after nine-thirty. I knew Mags was supposed to be at my house at nine and he was never late so I was shocked he hadn't come to wake me up yet. As if on queue, I suddenly heard pounding on my door.

"Clarissa Satan Morgenstern! Get your ass up. I need to know where Izzy stashed the decorations she already brought over and I believe you have band practice in...a half an hour. The lead singer is not allowed to be late, Biscuit." I walked over and unlocked my door. I really needed some way to unlock my door from my bed.

I looked up at him with heavy eyes before letting him into my room. "You do know Satan isn't my middle name, right?"

"Yes, of course but since you're so stubborn and won't tell anyone what your middle name _is_ , I had to improvise. Oooh, maybe I can get Jon really drunk and ask him," Mags said, excitedly, clapping his hands like a little kid.

"Don't you dare. That or 'Clarissa' leaving your mouth again when referring to me, will ensure the wrath of Satan."

"Rawr. Someone needs their morning coffee. Tell you what, quickly go take a shower and I'll make you a cup." I launched myself at him.

"Have I told you how magnificent you are today?"

"That's me, Magnus the Magnificent. Now get your cute butt in the shower. I'll make you a cup using your Keurig and it'll be waiting here for when you get out."

I practically ran to the shower as I called out a 'thanks Mags' over my shoulder. I only had a little over twenty minutes before the rest of the band showed up. It normally took me forty-five minutes or so to get ready but today, I didn't care what I looked like. I knew Mags would be making me over for the party anyway. If we ever got famous, he would most definitely be my personal stylist.

I heard Mags call through the door. "Hey, I completely forgot. Where did Izzy put those decorations?"

"In the storage room in the basement, left front side," I yelled back over the sound of the water.

I quickly got in and was out of the shower in ten minutes, lightly smelling of strawberries, guava and flowers. Just as Mags promised, there was a cup of coffee on my table, just waiting for me to consume it.

I made quick work of getting dressed. Dark green lace bra and panties, a plain pair of black ripped skinny jeans, a black, cropped, off the shoulder t-shirt with the Bayside logo on it, black chucks and the wrist cuffs that I never took off unless I was showering or kickboxing. I threw my curly hair into a high ponytail and then realized I still had a few minutes so I put on some eyeliner and mascara. As I closed my door, I made sure to lock it and hang my no entry sign so that it was visible to all who ventured up the stairs. I was just coming down when I heard voices outside. I went out the back door to the open deck and found Simon, Matt, Eric and Kirk setting up while talking to Mags, who was stringing up lanterns. Matt saw me first.

"Hey, C. We're almost done setting up...well, except for Kirk cuz he takes forever. Aren't you missing something?"

"Oh shit, yeah. It's been a weird morning. I walked back inside and ran up the stairs to retrieve my favorite Fender Strat from its stand and then descended again to head back outside for practice.

When Kirk got his drum kit all setup, we decided we'd start working on the newest song first and practice it by itself a few times. Then we'd just run through everything like we would during our set. When we finally got through the whole thing about twenty times, it was time for lunch. I took all the guys inside and fed them spaghetti that I'd made the night before.

By the time we were done, Jon, Izzy, and Jace had all shown up. I was confused because I hadn't seen Alec all morning and he hadn't come with the others. Answering my unasked question, Mags spoke up.

"Oh, Biscuit. I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you. I sent Alec on errands this morning to get party supplies before you woke up. He was in your room with you for a bit while you were sleeping though." That was not a shock to me. Besides me, Alec was the only one who knew how to pick the lock on my bedroom door. On the nights he didn't stay with me at my place and I didn't stay at his, it wasn't unusual for me to wake up to him cuddling me. He said he slept better knowing I was safe so he'd come over sometime in the early morning and crawl into bed with me. I understood why and it hurt to know that I had caused him to feel like that. It was nice to have a platonic friend to snuggle up to at night though.

"Bat and Maia will be here in a couple of hours," Jon said. "They had a few things to do for Maia's parents."

"Okay, well, if you guys are hungry, there's plenty of spaghetti left. Have at it."

"Your the best, sis," Jon said before kissing me on the cheek and hurrying inside followed closely by Jace.

"Boys are seriously pigs," Izzy huffed.

"You know what they say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, which is probably why Jon-Jon never stays mad at me for too long," I laughed.

"Well, I happen to know another way to your brothers heart and it isn't through his stomach," Izzy retorted.

"Ew, Iz. That's not shit I wanna think about with my brother. Yeah, nasty. I gotta get back to practice. I seriously need to get my mind on...anything else besides my brother's dick." Izzy laughed, hysterically at the horrified look on my face.

When she calmed down, she finally was able to get words out and said, "have a good practice. I'm gonna help Mags setup." She took off inside the house and I went back over with Simon, Eric, Matt and Kirk to practice for a couple more hours.

When it hit about three o'clock. We decided to call it good. The party started at nine but there was a ton more shit to do before we'd be ready. Mark, our friend and Julian's brother, would be there to setup at six and there was a lot of moving around that needed to take place so he could do so. Simon started to help us but Eric, Matt and Kirk had previous plans to go with a few friends to the movies so they left shortly after practice ended. They said they'd be back way before it was time to go on.

Simon and I got back in the house to see Izzy and Mags working on removing all of the breakables. I went and grabbed the sign for the door with the list of house rules. It read, '1) No Entry without the down payment of keys 2) If you plan to drink, you will stay or find another way home 3) Use protection at all times 4) No entry into the bedrooms with signs on the doors, they will be locked anyway 5) If you puke, it better be in a toilet or outside and you better clean up afterwards 6) Party ends at 3AM which means everyone out, no ifs, ands or buts 7) The Pool House Is COMPLETELY OFF LIMITS!

I made Jon add the last one because I got sick of drunk bitches trying to fuck idiotic assholes on top of shit that I'd worked really hard on. We spent the rest of the afternoon getting the house ready for the most legendary party of the year.

 _ **Jace POV**_

My first move on Saturday morning was to go down to the kitchen and grab some coffee. Normally, I didn't drink any coffee until after my workout if at all because all the physical activity was generally enough but this morning I needed it.

I had an extremely restless nights sleep. I had the same dream over and over again. A female's voice was calling out to me in the darkness but I couldn't tell who it was. I would reach my hand out to try and feel for them and they would keep grabbing onto my fingers but each time I tried to get a tighter grip or pull them closer, I'd let go. Suddenly I'd realize what I'd done and search for their hand all over again and it would just repeat. That continued all night long and I woke up in a cold sweat more than once. I didn't know if it had to do with the past, present or future but it felt like it meant something. It was the most unnerving dream I'd had since the nightmares stopped. Of course they hadn't completely stopped. I didn't think that was possible but I hadn't had one in about two months so I took that as a pretty good sign.

When I walked into the kitchen wearing my workout gear, Jon was standing in front of the coffee maker wearing nothing but his boxers. They were black with diamonds and had the words 'BLING BLING!' all over them.

 _My best friend is an idiot_

"Dude, I love to see a nice ass first thing in the morning but yours was not the one I was hoping for. And what the fuck are you wearing?"

"Don't you like them? I bought them just for you, baby," Jon said, making kissy faces as he moved toward me.

"Ha ha, dickhead. Move so I can get some coffee." He picked up his cup and another cup that I assumed was for Izzy and walked out of the kitchen. "And for crying out loud, put some damn pants on," I yelled after him.

"You know you like it, big boy." Jon shouted back at me. Well, my morning was thoroughly tainted. I poured myself a cup of coffee, drank it down as quickly as the temperature would allow and got my ass to our home gym to do my usual routine.

When I was done, two hours later, I took a shower and put on dark jeans, a white t-shirt and white Nike high tops. I went down to the living room and Jon was sitting there.

"Where's Izzy?"

"I'm right here," she said, coming around the corner. "I'm gonna go grab a couple things for Magnus. I should be back in a few hours. I made breakfast, it's in the kitchen. You should go to Jon's house and help setup for the party when you're done though," Izzy said right before walking out the door.

"Jon can go, I have Saturday school."

"That's right. Well, don't forget to show up there afterwards. By the way, mom left a note saying Max will be staying at a friends while they're gone. Apparently, they didn't trust us not to kill him for a month." She shouted before running out the door.

Hesitantly, we grabbed plates and filled them with food. The pancakes actually weren't too terrible despite being a little burnt. I left for school and made it in ten minutes. It was the most boring four hours of my life. Kaelie was there but we couldn't talk. We were supposed to do homework but mine was all done so I ended up reading the rest of Pride and Prejudice. I didn't understand how it could be C's favorite. It seemed like a bunch of romantic garbage to me.

I finally made it back to my house a little after noon and I saw Jon still sitting on my couch watching tv. I sat down next to him and joined in. When the show was over, he turned to me.

"We really should go help Magnus setup. I was supposed to already be there but I fell back asleep."

"But see, we've got the new Uncharted game here. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't let you at least test it out?"

Jon thought about it for a moment before conceding. "Okay but just until Izzy gets back."

"No argument here. She's still gonna be pissed at us though."

"Don't worry, I know how to take care of that."

"Gross. What did we say about sisters? They're off limits for subject matter, especially when sex is involved. Don't make me punch you." Jon laughed as I glared. A few minutes later, I was watching Jon play Uncharted. When Izzy got home, we barely noticed her come in the door.

"Ahem, um, excuse me. What the hell are you two doing? Jon, this is your damn party and Jace, you were supposed to be helping when you got back from school. Why are you here instead of helping Mags set everything up?" She looked pissed. Jon tried to calm her down.

"Izzy, babe, we-"

"Don't Izzy babe me, Jonathan Morgenstern. Get your ass up right now. You too Jonathan Herondale. We're gonna go help Magnus."

We drove up and the house was completely quiet. When we went in through the side gate and walked around back, Magnus and the Mortal Instruments were just coming out.

After a few minutes of talking, C said, "Okay, well, if you guys are hungry, there's plenty of spaghetti left. Have at it."

 _So that's why everything was so quiet when we got here_

"Your the best, sis," Jon said before placing a kiss on her cheek and hurrying inside. I was right behind him. I wasn't gonna miss out on food that C made even if I was on my deathbed.

We were in the kitchen, eating, when we heard C's voice coming in through the open door.

"My sister is so damn talented," Jon said proudly. I tended to agree with him. She did have a beautiful voice. He got a faraway look in his eyes. "I remember, when we were little, and our mom would be working, sometimes through the night. C would come sleep in my bed with me and I always thought she'd be scared because we were home alone...shit, I was. But she wasn't. We'd just hold onto each other and she'd sing to me until I fell asleep, as if she were the older sibling, not the other way around."

I didn't know what to say so I said nothing and just looked at my hands, resting on the countertop.

He looked out at her through the door and I followed his gaze, watching her laugh along with her bandmates. "You know, she's just an amazing person. She's beautiful, looks just like our mom when she was younger. She's smart as hell, too smart for her own good most of the time. She can be a total bitch to you but she'd still give you the shirt off her back." I wasn't sure that applied in my case but admitting it out loud was the last thing I wanted to do. "She's just got this way of making people love her even when she's being a dick. I'm just in awe of how she does it. I seriously don't get how you guys don't get along." I felt that familiar pang in my chest that threatened to overwhelm me. I needed to change the subject and quickly.

"Since we're both done eating, why don't we get started on moving all the heavy shit outside."

"Alright, let's get to it." The rest of the afternoon was spent moving things around and setting up tables. Tonight was the first party of the year and it'd be our last BTS party all together at their house.

 _We'd better make it good_

 _ **C POV**_

By the time it hit seven-thirty, everything was completely setup. The backyard was lit by what looked like a thousand hanging lanterns. All the breakables had been put away, we had six beer pong tables setup. Mark had his turntables ready to go and we had strategically placed speakers around the yard. We had kiddie pools filled with ice and beer and a full bar with as much hard alcohol as someone could get ahold of with nearly an unlimited supply of cash.

Mags, Izzy and I would be getting ready in my room but since we only had three showers and there were seven of us, we three were the ones to use the showers first since it would take us the longest. I showered quickly and then blow dried my hair. We all met up in my room about thirty minutes later looking like fresh slates. I put on my black lace bra and thong in my closet and wrapped myself up in my robe before taking a seat on my bed. I noticed Mags and Izzy were also in robes.

"Sooooo, I had Izzy go pick up some outfits for us for tonight. I wanted to make sure we looked absolutely fabulous for the last high school Morgenstern Back To School Party."

"Mags, I'm gonna be on deck for part of the night. I need to be comfortable," I whined.

"Beauty is pain, my darling. Besides...the outfit will be comfortable. You'll just have to be careful walking on deck in heels." I gave him a withering look. "Oh don't look at me like that, you'll be fine, Biscuit."

"Plus you'll look super hot in what I got you to wear," Izzy exclaimed before she opened up a zipped bag containing 3 outfits. I immediately knew which one was for me.

"I gotta hand it to both of you guys, you certainly know my style." They had gotten me a hot pink dress covered in black polka dots that reached my lower thighs. It looked like it would be skin tight but the fabric still appeared like it would allow movement. The neckline was low and criss-crossed, coming down into a peak in the center. "This dress is hot."

"I knew you'd like it," Iz said, proudly. "Now for the shoes. I know we just got you into heeled boots but I have a feeling you'll love these." She pulled a pair of what seemed to be hot pink, peep toe, four-inch heels out of a shoebox on the floor. They had skulls made out of tiny little round studs and unzipped on the side with a dangling skull charm. The clip strap over the top also had six larger square studs. I was in love.

"These are so sick, Izzy. Thank you. I have the perfect coat to go with this if it gets cold. What do I owe you for the outfit?"

"Don't worry about it Biscuit. It's on me. Consider it a trade for that drawing you're doing of me?" He questioned, hopefully. "I'd love to give it to Alexander as an anniversary present."

"It's yours, Mags. I promise I will put it on the 'not for sale' list and you can have it as soon as the show's over," I assured him.

"Great! Well, ladies. I do believe it's time to get dressed." Izzy handed me the dress and the shoes and Mags shooed me into the closet to get ready before walking over and entering my bathroom. I slipped on the dress and realized I was right about how tight it would be. I could still move but it fit my body like a glove. I stepped into the heels and walked out of the closet. I wasn't prepared for what I saw when I did.

Izzy was standing in my room completely naked with her back turned towards me. My eyes were glued. She was perfect. I was praying to the Angel she wouldn't turn around because I didn't think I could take it. Having dreams about her was one thing but seeing the real thing was quite another. I realized that I was acting pretty much like Jace when he just stood there and watched Aline and I so I averted my eyes for my own good and for her privacy.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were done," I said, still not looking at her as I went to go sit on my couch.

"It's fine. I'm not even sure why you went to go change in the closet. We're both girls," she said, turning to me, but thankfully holding her dress up, covering most of her body. Out of the corner of my eye, I did get a pretty good view of her breasts which were just as perfect as her ass.

"I'm a different kind of girl, Iz," I said, blushing furiously.

 _Damn I need to learn how to control this blush around her_

"I don't care if you see me," she said walking towards me. "Actually, I kind of want you to. I've never been looked at by a girl like... _that_ and I've always been kind of curious."

"Trust me, Iz. You're beautiful. And I don't think my brother or my girlfriend would appreciate me looking at you...like _that_." At that moment, she threw her dress on my bed and walked toward me. She bent over, grasped my chin lightly and turned my face towards her, looking directly in my eyes.

"Look at me, C. We've known each other since we were five." She gave me a pleading look. "I need to know." She stood up then so I could take all of her in. Angel, she was gorgeous. All 5'9" of her creamy skin and inky black hair. The swell of her breasts and the pink lips with the landing strip shaved above them that lay between her legs. I stared at her lustily before feeling the heat rush to my cheeks again.

"I really think you should put your dress on." She must have found what she was looking for because after she searched my eyes for a what seemed like eternity she went over to my bed and picked up her dress and a matching red thong.

"I am." She slid the thong on so slowly, followed by the dress, watching me the whole time. "Can you zip me up?" I got up from my seat and went over to zip up her dress. When I was done. She grabbed my hands and rested them on her hips before turning around in my arms. With my heels on and her standing barefoot, we were almost the same height. She looked at me and if possible, her already brown eyes looked ever darker. "Thank you," she said. "I needed to know and now I do." I could've guessed what she was talking about but what I was really worried about at the time was getting the fuck away from her. Being in her close proximity wasn't good for my self control. I heard the door to my bathroom open just as I let go of her hips and walked back to the couch to sit down.

Izzy put her heels on as if nothing had happened and Mags came around the corner. For the first time, I took in both of their outfits. Iz was wearing a strapless red dress wrapped in chiffon with a sweetheart neckline that reached mid thigh. She paired it with five-inch black stilettos. Mags was wearing skin tight blue leather pants with a see-through, lime green sleeveless top and his black Doc Marten boots. He had lime green extensions in his hair with glitter everywhere and was wearing blue glittery eyeliner and mascara.

"Alright bitches, time for hair and makeup," Mags said, excitedly with my straightener and curling iron in hand.

 _ **~*0*0*0*~**_

When The Mortal Instruments took the stage, I felt like a rockstar. My hair was sleek and shiny down my back. Mags had done a dark smokey eye and put a nude lipstick on me. The party had been in full swing for about an hour. The music cut off and the lights centered on us came on. All the beer pong tables were filled with people when we'd come out but everyone, including them, started gravitating towards the deck when they saw Kirk sit down and pick up his drumsticks. I picked up my Strat and stepped up to the mic.

"ARE YOU BITCHES ENJOYING DRINKING MY LIQUOR?" I yelled. A collective 'woohoo' was the response.

"FREE BOOZE TASTES PRETTY FUCKIN GOOD, RIGHT?" I asked. Another collective 'woohoo'.

"OKAY, WELL SINCE YOU _ARE_ DRINKING _MY_ BOOZE, NOW YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO MY SHITTY MUSIC. ANYONE GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?" Screams and cries for us to start came from our audience so we started off with 'Now', the song that I had just finished a few days before. When we finished we were met with more cheers.

"I wrote this next one about my two favorite people on the planet. You know who you are. I fuckin love you guys." We began to play and I started to sing to the ones who'd been through it all with me.

 _ **Fast In My Car**_

(By Paramore)

Been through the wringer a couple times

I came out callous and cruel

And my two friends know this very well

Because they went through it too

The three of us were initiates

We had to learn how to deal

And when we spotted a second chance

We had to learn how to steal

Hollowed out and filled up with hate

All we want is you to give us a break

We're driving fast in my car

We've got our riot gear on but we just want to have fun

No we're not looking for violence, no oh oh oh

Tonight we want to have fun

No one's the same as they used to be

Much as we try to pretend

No one's as innocent as could be

We all fall short, we all sin

But now we aren't looking backward

We won't try raising the dead

We only see what's in front of us

We only see straight ahead

Hollowed out and filled up with hate

All we want is you to give us a break

We're driving fast in my car

We've got our riot gear on but we just want to have fun

No we're not looking for violence, no oh oh oh

Tonight we want to have fun

Get in my car and we'll drive around

We'll make believe we are free

Already proved we can tough it out

And we get along so sweetly

We're driving fast in my car

We've got our riot gear on but we just want to have fun

No we're not looking for violence, no oh oh oh

Tonight we want to have fun

We're driving fast in my car

We're driving fast in my car

No we're not looking for violence, no oh oh oh

We're driving fast in my car

And we just want to have fun

I could feel Alec and Jon's eyes on me as the crowd cheered. Then there were the other set burning into my skin that I didn't expect. I couldn't tell what he was thinking and at that point and I didn't know if I wanted to find out. The crowd of course didn't understand the meaning behind the song but I had a strange feeling that both Izzy and Jace, even though they'd never heard anything about what happened, were starting to get an idea of how rough the past 3 years had been. I'd have to be more careful.

"ALRIGHT PEOPLE. LAST SONG OF THE NIGHT FOR US. Y'ALL SHOULD BE FAMILIAR WITH THIS ONE. LET'S DO IT BOYS."

And we went into 'I Don't Wanna Dance', a song we played at nearly every party we performed at. We wrapped it up to whoops and shouts and were off deck, enjoying ourselves in no time. I still felt the burn on my skin as I grabbed a drink and made my way to Mags and Alec. All I wanted was for my secrets to stay mine, those eyes to quit following me and for that burning on my skin to stop.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I should've stopped watching her. I was being a creeper and I knew it but I couldn't help myself. I didn't know what I was feeling. She was so ridiculously attractive but there was something else too. Something in her song and in her voice that I couldn't get out of my head. There was this big thing that happened in her life that I knew nothing about because I didn't care and I didn't want to. It pissed me off that I had initially started out wanting to get her in my bed and then there was this- _other_ feeling. One that I couldn't put a name to.

I needed to shake it off. I walked up to the bar and downed seven straight shots of Jack before going to find some company to take my mind off of the little redhead that had been making my life hell.

"Jace?" I turned around to find a pair of blue eyes staring at me. They belonged to Kimmy, a curvy girl I recognized from the soccer team. I looked her up and down, drinking in her figure as it was displayed in her low cut, black tank top and red mini skirt. She didn't seem to mind at all as she looked back at me lustily.

I said nothing as I grabbed her hand and pulled her inside with me. We made our way to my bedroom away from home, only to find it already occupied by a couple making out.

"Get the fuck out." They immediately got off my bed and left the room after seeing the anger on my face, shutting the door on their way out.

I began removing Kimmy's clothes and was out of my own in no time. I needed to forget and getting laid was the best way to stop myself from thinking or feeling anything. I pulled a condom out of the drawer or the nightstand by the bed and sheathed my length with it. Kimmy tried to kiss me but I didn't do that shit. The girls that I hooked up with learned that eventually. I pushed her down on the bed facing away from me and entered her from behind.

"That's it baby. I like it rough."

Even though it was my name on her lips, I tried to block her voice out of my head and focus on how good it felt as I pounded into her. Before I knew it she was clenching around me and pushing me over the edge. It wasn't long after that I was pulling out, disposing of the condom, getting dressed and on my way to find another drink and my next conquest. I would forget everything, even if just for one night.


	11. The Long Journey To The Beginning Part 1

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 **A/N: Sorry it's been awhile y'all. Life has been busy. However, I'm back now and here's hoping you won't have to go that long without a chapter again. I wanted to get this out as a Christmas present to my readers (or holiday present for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas). In the banking world that I work in, today is the observed Christmas holiday so I'm just gonna say I'm not late. Happy reading and don't forget to review review review!**

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Coheed and Cambria - A Favor House Atlantic***

 ***Teenage Bottlerocket - Skate or Die***

 ***Katie Perry - Roar***

 ***The Front Bottoms - Au Revoir (Adios)***

 ***Yuna Featuring Usher - Crush***

 _ **C POV**_

We had just under three weeks before SATs and I was utilizing my last Sunday of freedom for awhile to do what I wanted. I woke up early and got ready quickly, following my usual morning routine of coffee, showering, lotioning, hair and makeup. I slipped into a red cami, my old Rancid shirt with the collar cut out so it hung off my shoulders, some red ripped skinny jeans and my all black, high top chucks. There was a black zip-up hoodie on the back of my sofa so I slipped it on after throwing my hair in a messy bun, making sure to put the hood up. I grabbed one of my many messenger bags, putting a stack of freshly washed workout clothes, and my iPod with my headphones inside right before I shoved my phone in my pocket and made my way downstairs. It was so early that Jon wasn't even up yet and honestly after being up until after three in the morning, I couldn't believe that I was even up and ready to go by six-thirty but I was determined not to waste my day away sleeping.

When I entered the kitchen, I saw Alec already sitting at the breakfast bar with a mug in his hand.

"Coffee?" he asked while raising his cup in the air.

"Nah, I'm good. Had two cups upstairs. I had no idea you even stayed last night. How come you didn't come up?"

"I had to take care of Mags. He was drunk as shit. Spent most of the early morning getting intimate with your toilet. He's finally asleep but I just couldn't get there. I knew you didn't go to bed till pretty late so I didn't wanna wake you either, hence the coffee. Who the fuck thought you'd be leaving at sunrise on a Sunday. Where you headed so early anyway?"

"You wanna come and see? Might be a little risk. Could be a bit boring or cool to watch depending on how you look at it. You can choose to come with me after that or come back home but either way, you'll for sure need a hoodie and your board."

"You actually think there's a chance I'm not coming?" he asked, putting his mug in the sink and heading toward the living room to ascend the stairs to my room. I grabbed enough protein bars for the day, stuffing one in my mouth, a couple apples and a few water bottles prior to picking up my skateboard. Alec came back down the stairs wearing his hoodie not two minutes later. I handed him one of the protein bars, having stuffed everything else in my bag and Alec picked up his board as we left.

I stopped by my studio to grab some things before we headed to our destination. I'd been working on one particular wall about 9 blocks from my house for a little over a month. I mostly worked at night so no one would see me but early mornings came into play every once in awhile as well, especially on weekends when most people slept in. The wall was on the back of a warehouse and could be seen easily from the street. The whole back side was covered but I was working on filling it in. I thanked the Angel for the unspoken rule between artists to not tag over each other's work. The mural had the word beauty tagged across the center and I planned to surround it with all the things that I found beautiful. The background was a starry sky on one side and a bright sunny day on the other. There were many random things placed throughout but it would all be filled in eventually. I spent an hour standing on a ladder I'd stashed there, adding the Earth with a butterfly resting on top of it as Alec just sat there on top of a plastic recycling container, watching me work. I stepped back and gave it a good look and decided to make a few changes, which lead to my eventual satisfaction.

I pulled out my phone to take a picture of my progress and realized it was getting close to eight. I walked back over to Alec, shoving my spray paint back into it's bag before shoving it into my messenger bag.

"Wow, C. That's amazing." he said looking up at my secret side project.

"Yeah," I said, looking with him. "I turned my head back to Alec. "Come on, let's go. I'm heading to the gym. You know you're always welcome to tag along or you can head back but it's probably best we get outta here."

I hopped on my board and skated toward the gym, noticing after only a few seconds that Alec was right behind me. Joe was the only one there which was a little shocking but after making sure he knew he was no longer alone, I made my way to the locker room, directing Alec to a chair next to the ring where he promptly kicked his feet up and opened an MMA magazine. I entered the locker room and changed into my boy shorts and sports bra. I came out about five minutes later, taping up my hands. I had Alec turn on the radio and started on my stretches. Joe looked like he was finishing up some paperwork so I continued to work out on my own before I made my way over to the punching bags. Joe joined me about twenty minutes later, just as Eli sauntered through the front door.

"Hey cockbag, you ready to get your ass kicked today?" I yelled as he walked past me.

"In your dreams, Stunner," he called over his shoulder, as he entered the locker room.

"You better watch out for her, Eli. She's on fire," Joe shouted as the door shut.

Eli emerged a few minutes later in shorts and a tight t-shirt. He began taping up his hands as he walked to the punching bags where Joe and I stood. I had moved from using my fists and shins to my elbows and knees. Eli just stood there and stared.

"You call those hits? My grandmother can hit harder than that and she's got arthritis."

"You'll see exactly how hard I can hit when my elbow is breaking your fuckin nose, dickface."

Since I was done with my warm up, I made my way into the ring with Joe. He pulled out his mits and we sparred until Tony Chan showed up and told Eli to stop wasting time and get his ass in the ring with me.

It was an intense match and both Tony and Eli were glad that he was wearing protective headgear because I had jumped up and squeezed his head with my knees while subsequently pounding his head with my elbows and fists more than once. He was used to me beating the shit out of him despite my small stature though. It was only every once in awhile that he got the best of me. Most of the people at the gym had gathered around to watch and cheered for one or the other of us.

After four more matches, me winning three of them, and Eli ending up almost knocked out after the last one I said goodbye to Joe, Eli and Tony Chan and skated to the park with Alec.

"You really kicked the shit out of Eli"

"I think I almost made him cry. Pretty sure during our last fight, I may have given him a concussion. It was great."

"Poor kid. What the hell was he thinking agreeing to be your sparring partner?"

"He underestimated me at first, just like most other people. He learned real quick, quicker than most. I don't doubt he regrets taking me on most days, especially when I'm angry or stressed. At least he took me down once today so I'm sure it was a little bit of an ego boost." Alec grabbed my face and turned it from side to side.

"Yeah, the evidence is right there."

"You saw Eli elbow me in our fourth fight. I'm sure I'll have the black eye tomorrow to prove it." He gave me a tortured look.

"Alec, I know your first response is to wanna protect me but you have to know at this point that I'm gonna get hurt sometimes...and remember, you supported this when I started. Just remember the alternative." He scowled at me.

"Alright, I don't wanna talk about it anymore. It just pisses me off. By the way, I'm pretty sure you're not gonna be very happy with me when I tell you what I have to tell you." He looked at me apprehensively, apparently anticipating my wrath. My phone went off at that exact moment and I grabbed it out of my pocket.

"Hold that thought for a second, Alec." It was a text from Aline.

 _Sorry I couldn't make it to the party. My parents were home and wouldn't let me leave ~ The Girlfriend_

All kinds of thoughts were running through my head at that moment. Why couldn't she call me yesterday and tell me? Why didn't she just tell her parents she was coming to hang out and leave the part about the party out? I could feel my temperature start to rise and I almost forgot that Alec had something he needed to tell me.

"I'm sorry, Alec. What were you saying?" I asked, putting my phone back in my pocket without responding. He looked at me sheepishly.

"Just spit it out, Alec. I'm not gonna be any less pissed by you delaying it."

"JaceisjoiningourSAT/ACTstudygroup."

"What? Speak like a normal person please."

"Jace is joining our SAT/ACT study group." I gave him the dirtiest look I could manage while keeping my mouth shut. I left Alec standing there as I skated away toward the half-pipe and decided to ignore the issue for the time being. I understood Jace was Alec's brother and it would be a dick move to leave him out but I spent enough time with Jace as it was without him invading the time where I seriously needed to study as well. I needed to think so I just kept skating and stayed in my own head.

Alec and I spent a good amount of time skating in silence until Joe met us there at about one. I knew I couldn't stay mad at Alec, he was more than my best friend and it wasn't just the Jace thing that pissed me off, it was Aline too. Joe made it that much harder by continuously cracking jokes as we skated the park. We solidified our plans to visit the extreme skate course the weekend before SATs before leaving around four and Alec and I returned to my house to listen to music and chill until I needed to make dinner and Jace showed up to work on our report for AP English.

Passing the hours with my mortal enemy was not my idea of a good time but it seemed I didn't have a choice.

 _ **Jace POV**_

Sunday after the party was my last day to be lazy before I started studying for SATs like a madman. I would get to spend even more time with C which I was seriously stoked about. I had a feeling she'd be pissed but I didn't care. She was hot when she was mad.

I started my morning without the loud alarm blaring in my ear. I figured that I didn't need it on a day that I had no agenda but to literally do whatever I wanted, except for meeting up with C later to work on our assignment.

I had a slight hangover but it was nothing compared to the one I had after drinking with C. I took some pain medication that I kept in the drawer by my bed and laid there staring at my ceiling for a good fifteen minutes thinking about the night before. Who was I kidding, I was thinking about C and how I'd tried so hard to forget how she made me feel that I drank at least a whole bottle of alcohol to myself and pretty much fucked my way through the party. None of it helped because I thought about her almost the whole time. And somehow, what I was feeling now felt an awful lot like regret.

I needed to clear my head so I forced myself to get my ass out of bed. I worked out in our home gym for nearly three hours, running four miles, lifting weights, working the bag and doing leg presses, pull-ups, push-ups, sit-ups; anything that would distract me from my thoughts. I went to take a shower and was out in less than fifteen minutes.

Normally after a good amount of exercise and a hot shower, I'd be looking for a quick lay before proceeding with my plans but that was off the table, at least for the time being. My head wasn't in the game at the moment. I was so confused about what was happening to me. I was used to not caring. I was used to fucking any girl I pleased. I was used to not giving a shit about what other people thought about the way I lived my life. I wanted to close myself off and go back to the way things were but I knew that wasn't an option.

 _Maybe if I try a little harder..._

I couldn't sit around in my room all day, thinking about what a mess everything had turned into in so little time. I got dressed and texted Jon to see what he was up to.

 _Hey. What's up? ~ Jace_

It took a couple minutes for him to reply.

 _I'm with Bat and Jordan at the field. We're running plays ~ Jon_

 _Come meet us. We could use you ~ Jon_

I threw on some shoes, grabbed my gym bag and headed to the garage. I made it to the school in about ten minutes and walked into the locker room to change into some workout gear. I knew I'd be sore tomorrow from all the extra work I was putting my body through but I didn't care. Distraction was becoming my new best friend.

When I eventually made it out to the field, I realized that some of our defensive line was there as well.

"What, are we having an impromptu practice?" I yelled toward Jon.

"You could say that."

"Alright. Be prepared boys, I've had quite the warm-up already," I shouted out to the field.

We spent a few hours scurrying around the field, running plays. My legs were nearly dead by the end not to mention my sore shoulder from being tackled while my mind was wandering to things, or rather people, I didn't want to think about.

 _So much for distraction_

We all took our time walking to the locker room and took showers before leaving to go home. I followed Jon in my car since I knew I'd have to meet C there in a while to work on our paper. I knew it'd be torture just spending a few hours with her but at the same time, there was an underlying level of excitement. I was the definition of conflicted.

We entered the house and heard music blaring from upstairs which could only have been C. Jon and I set our stuff down and headed to the kitchen.

"You hungry man?"

"Do you even have to ask? There's food that C made in that refrigerator."

"Right. I think we still have spaghetti left," he said, pulling a giant Tupperware from the bottom shelf.

"I'm so glad she cooks for an army."

"You and me both bro. You know I'd starve."

"Nah...Maryse would feed you. She'd be concerned for your safety if you tried to cook for yourself," I said with a smirk.

Jon glowered at me as he dished out some food and put it in the microwave. Just as we finished eating, Alec and C came downstairs and into the kitchen, grabbing bottles of water out of the refrigerator. She glanced at me and our eyes locked for a moment before she turned away.

"I see you figured out there's still food left," she said, smiling at Jon.

"You know we'll always find your food no matter where it's hiding, Clare Bear."

"Yeah, I know. Which is fine. I wouldn't make so much food if I didn't want you to enjoy it. Plus, if I make a lot at one time, it actually means I have to cook less. That's why today, you're all gonna get a little lesson in cooking from the master. So I can cook less...or at least get some decent help in the kitchen. You guys are gonna help me make some meals for the week."

"I can't. I have a date with Iz in three hours," Jon whined.

"And don't we have a project to work on?" I asked, not really trying to get out of helping but I knew the sooner we got started, the sooner I'd be alone with her.

"Okay, first of all, Jon, it'll take two hours tops. You'll have plenty of time to get ready for your date and get over to the Institute to pick up Izzy...unless you act like a girl and it takes you longer," she taunted, seemingly hinting at something.

"C...don't, unless you want a repeat performance of the other morning."

"Yeah Yeah, I got you, but still. This'll be a good learning experience for you in a controlled environment where if you start a fire, three other people will be available to help you put it out." We all began to laugh all the while observing the pout on Jon's face. "And Jace, we can work on the project when we're done, unless you have something else to do tonight?" she asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Nope, I'm all yours."

"Great," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. I had no idea why she wanted my help cooking if she couldn't even handle being in the same room with me.

"Because you eat here often enough that I figured you should participate in the preparation of your future meals."

"Did I say that out loud?"

"No, I'm just really good at reading people's facial expressions. Let me make this clear, Jace. I don't enjoy spending time with you but for some damn reason, the universe and in some cases, our friends and family members," she says, giving Alec and Jon dirty looks, "seem to think we need to spend way too much time together. Now I have a shitload of cooking to do and SAT/ACT prep will be taking place here so we need to have food ready for everyone and I doubt I'll have time to cook on top of studying. I'd appreciate it if y'all would take some time out of your precious day where you're doing absolutely nothing and help me since you will be participating in both the studying and the eating."

We can both sense the irritation coming off her in waves. She's right, all we were really planning on doing was playing video games until she was ready to work on our paper and Jon had to head out for his date.

We both agree to help and of course even though he was silent the whole time, we knew Alec was on board from the start. We spent the next two hours in the kitchen cutting vegetables and herbs, making rice and pasta, cooking different types of meat and stirring sauces. C does all of the assembling herself and throws everything except one meal into the deep freezer they have separate from their fridge. She set the giant casserole dish of garlic chicken lasagne on the counter.

"Okay, this is for dinner tonight, or tomorrow or whatever. Jon, I know you're going out with Izzy but let's be honest, you're gonna be hungry when you get back. Jace, you'll be here tonight anyway so obviously you'll be eating and Alec, I know you are going to Mags' house tonight but feel free to take some with you. You know where the tupperware is."

An hour later, Jon and Alec had both left and it was just C and I working on our paper.

"Why do you like Pride and Prejudice so much? I read all the way through it and for the life of me I can't figure it out?"

"It's a story where real love actually exists...and not that kind of shit where people see each other one time and become infatuated. It's two stubborn people who legitimately don't want anything to do with each other and then realize over time how perfect they actually are together. I don't know if I believe in love or not but if I did, that's the kind of love I'd believe in. It's actually realistic."

"Hmmm..."

"I guess someone like you wouldn't understand. Love is a foreign concept to someone who whores himself around to every cunt on a pair of legs."

She had a point. I had no idea about love. I thought I might love Alec, Izzy and Max, they were my siblings despite not actually being my blood. I didn't know how I felt about Maryse and Robert. They weren't around that much but when they were, Maryse tried to act very motherly and treat me just like one of her own. I had a hard time accepting any kind of affection from them because of what happened with my own parents. I didn't say anything in response to her insult, mostly because I couldn't deny it.

"So...let's get started on this paper." And we worked for the next couple hours, strictly talking about our project. I couldn't help sneaking glances at her when she wasn't paying attention. Her flaming red hair blazed like an inferno and her alabaster skin almost glowed. Her curves and her small tight body were what made me want to fuck her so bad I couldn't stand it but she really was gorgeous. All of the sudden, she looked up and our eyes locked. All I could see was green and I was lost.

"What the fuck are you staring at, asshole?" I didn't have an answer at that moment and I couldn't pull my eyes away from hers. I finally managed to look away after way too much time spent staring. I had to think of something to say that sounded like my normal self because the truth was, I didn't know what the hell was going on in my head.

"Just thinking about how you look out of your clothes."

"You're such a fuckin pig."

"Don't I know it."

We finished our paper and I got up to leave. I turned to her right before opening the door and I couldn't help what came out of my mouth next.

"You're really beautiful, you know" and I walked out the door, catching a glimpse of her confused expression and feeling some serious confusion myself as I shut it behind me.

 _ **C POV**_

The whole next week was a blur of school, studying and spending way more time with Jace than was really manageable on so little sleep. Thank the Angel I had Jon, Alec and everyone else to keep me from choking the life out of him. There wasn't any way to get him to stop watching me though. He'd called me beautiful and I didn't know how to feel about that. Sure there was the underlying urge to murder him but something about Jace Herondale, the biggest womanizer I knew, referring to someone as beautiful rather than 'hot' or 'sexy', blew my mind, especially when that someone was me.

When Friday night came around again, I only remembered about my art exhibition because of a calendar alert I got on my phone. Everyone was sitting around, silently working on one of several practice tests we'd found on the internet when I jumped up and ran for the door.

"Where ya goin, Clare Bear?"

"I just remembered that tomorrow night, a bunch of strangers are going to be looking at my artwork for the first time and I realized that I haven't looked at the collection since Monday. I have to go right now. I have to make sure everything is actually worth people coming to see." I started toward the door again and only stopped when I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind. I would've fought to get free but I could tell it was Alec by his smell, spring time and fabric softener, the permanent fragrance of my bed sheets.

"Everything is beautiful, C," he said as he stroked my hair. I scowled at him. Even though it actually relaxed me when he did it, I didn't like being pet like an animal in front of other people. He quickly realized what he was doing and just pulled me in for a tight hug from behind. "You know I wouldn't lie to you," Alec whispered, just loud enough for me to hear.

I turned around and wrapped my arms around his middle while burying my head in his chest. "I'm nervous as hell, Alec," I whispered back.

"You know you'll be fine by tomorrow. You always get cold feet the night before anything new. Remember the first gig The Mortal Instruments ever had? We had pizza the night before after your rehearsal and you puked all over Jon right before his date with one of the skanks he used to roll with back then. He was sooooo pissed. That shit was priceless." I laughed, louder than I meant to.

"What are you two talking about over there?" Mags asked.

"Nothing," we both said in unison as we maneuvered our way through textbooks and flash cards to make it back to our seats.

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

When Saturday night came around, I was standing in my room wrapped in a towel with my hair and makeup done, getting ready to get dressed, when Izzy walked in, looking like a goddess in green, holding a dress bag and a shoebox.

"Whatever you were gonna wear tonight, forget it. I've got the perfect thing right here." I'd felt a bit awkward around Izzy since seeing her naked. I was meant to feel guilty but I kept seeing her soft skin instead. My face felt like it was on fire every time I ran into her but if she noticed she didn't mention it.

"Iz, I have plenty of dresses. You and Mags made me buy like ten, remember. I haven't worn any of them yet."

"This is a special event so you need something to match. Besides, just consider it a thank you for last weekend. I told Jon I think I like girls as well and he's agreed to let me experiment a little, with him included of course."

"I'm glad you and Jon have that kind of relationship; where you can be honest with each other about anything. I'm happy for you, Iz. I didn't really do anything though, except look at you without clothes on."

"It was the way you looked at me. It was enough for me to know, so thank you." She laid the dress and shoebox down on my bed before going over to where my clothing was stored. She pulled out a white lace strapless bra and matching boy shorts. "Here, put these on." I took the matching undergarments and stepped into my walk-in, shutting the doors behind me. I had just dropped my towel when the doors flew open again. My hands immediately went to pick up the towel in hopes of covering something. I looked at her in shock. I was never naked in front of anyone except for Alec, or my girlfriend. She only stared back as if waiting for something. After what felt

"What? You got to see me naked." I looked at her incredulously. "Look C, I'm not blind. I know you find me attractive. The way you've been looking at me? Let's just say it's pretty obvious what you're thinking about. Now I wanna see you. And before you get all self righteous on me about how you have a girlfriend and how I'm with your brother, remember this is just changing in front of each other. Nothing else is gonna happen. I just wanna see you."

I stared at her for a few more seconds before I finally decided to just do it. I wasn't cheating. I was just changing in front of another girl. That was normal. I took a deep breath and dropped my towel. At first I just stared at the floor but then curiosity got the better of me and I raised my head so I could see her. Her pupils were dilated, her fingers were twitching and she was biting her lip. I was beginning to think that it wasn't such a good idea to do this. With her looking at me like that, I really needed to put some clothes on before the tension could break and we both did something we might regret.

I quickly dressed in the bra and panties while she watched and then I walked back to my bed where I grabbed the dress bag and slowly unzipped it. I stared in awe before slipping into it and having Izzy zip me up. I stared at myself in the mirror, Izzy coming to stand behind me and place her hands on my hips. "You're gorgeous, inside and out, with or without clothes," she said, right next to my ear. I shyly smiled in return at her reflection and opened the shoebox, placing the perfect shoes on my feet. I grabbed a clutch and a cream and black leather jacket and we raced down the stairs to join Jon before all heading to what could either be one of the best or worst experiences of my life.


	12. Of The Rest Of Our Lives Part 2

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Bayside - Duality***

 ***Coldplay - Fix You***

 ***Less Than Jake - Things Change***

 ***Nicki Minaj - Pills N Potions***

 ***Alessia Cara - Outlaws***

 _ **A/N: And here is the next installment of CIAP. Shit in life is seriously hectic so updating once a month is all I can really offer at the moment. Sorry to those who are looking for them more frequently. I'll try to get them in sooner but no promises.**_

 ** _I've started putting important outfits/outfits I describe up on my profile. C's dress from her art show is up along with accessories so check them out : )_**

 _ **Shoutout to my girl, SereneCalamity for her help with some of this chapter and letting me bounce ideas off of her in general. You've become a good friend and I'm so glad to have met you here.**_

 _ **Anyway, on with the fuckin show and don't forget to review!**_

 _ **Jace POV**_

I stood inside Fracture, the biggest art gallery in the city, waiting for Jon to bring my sister and the star of the night. I was pretty sure she would either be extremely confused or very unhappy that I was there but I couldn't pass up a chance to see her in her element. It was the type of event you had to dress up for so I was wearing a black suit with a white tie and black shoes that were shiny enough to see my reflection.

I checked out some of the art nearby and if it was any indication of what I would see as I walked around, I knew it would be worth every second of being there. I heard Jon call my name and turned around to greet him but what I saw when I came face to face with him and the women he had on each arm, kept me from being able to look away. Iz looked great in a dark green knee length one shoulder dress with black strap on stiletto heels but it wasn't her that my eyes were glued to, it was C. Her dress was strapless and cream colored with black that looked like it had been painted with watercolors, coming up from the hem and down over her chest. Instead of her normal wristbands, she had a silver bangle on one side and a black band with a flower on the other. She wore black high heels made from lace and her hair was in soft scarlet ringlets hanging over her left shoulder. She looked phenomenal. And what surprised me is that it wasn't just in the 'I wanna bang you against the bathroom door' kind of way, although that was definitely still on my mind too. But she looked soft and more innocent than I'd ever seen her. It was like she belonged up on the wall of the gallery herself.

I was finally able to pull my eyes from her body and they locked with hers for a moment before she turned away. I chanced a look over at Jon, who was staring at me, wearing a slightly murderous expression. I looked at him, semi-sheepishly before C quickly moved towards me and grabbed my arm. She dragged me over to the side of the entrance and stared me down before whisper shouting at me.

"What are you doing here, Jace? You're not particularly interested in art. You're not getting anything out of this. I don't get why you're here."

"Are you implying I should deprive myself of culture, when and where it's available?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Jace, there are paintings here all year round. I've never seen you here before and I spend a _lot_ of time here." I couldn't think of a good excuse to give her. Nothing that sounded believable.

 _Fuck, do I really even know why I'm here?_

"Earth to Jace. Snap out of it yo," she said, snapping her fingers in my face. I must have been spacing out. "Look, I'm already nervous enough about all these people coming tonight and seeing my whole collection without you being here just to ruin it for me. This is a piece of my soul that's getting shared with complete strangers and a good portion of the school and I don't need you shaking my confidence so stay if you must but keep out of my way." And she walked off, hips swaying back and forth, making it so I was unable to look anywhere else.

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

For the rest of the evening, I walked around with Jon and Izzy, admiring the artwork on the walls. She was amazingly talented and I was really beginning to think there wasn't much of anything she couldn't do. Street art was a heavy theme throughout and I recognized the style as looking somewhat like the wall in her bedroom but more like the back wall of a building I'd seen on 10th street a couple months ago. Each time I passed it, there seemed to be a little more of it completed. I had a strong feeling C was the artist responsible.

I tried to stop myself from staring at her. I tried to keep my focus on the artwork, but I ended up mostly admiring C as she introduced herself to the fellow art lovers as the creator of the pieces that surrounded us. I wanted to do something to her; fuck her, kiss her or just spend time with her, two of which I couldn't understand because I'd never had the urge to do them with any girl before her. I'd also never been confused by a girl before. I always knew what they wanted, they always knew what I wanted, it was very...transactional. Okay yeah, there was the occasional girl who tried to get clingy but I had become very good at driving it home that I was not having that shit until it became a non-issue.

By the time the night was over, in my mind I'd fucked her on at least six surfaces, all in different positions. I'd snuck her into a corner and done nothing but kiss her for hours in our own little bubble. I'd held multiple conversations with her about everything and anything, making nearly every emotion visible on her face, one right after another. I was getting sick of analyzing my own feelings, I wasn't supposed to have any, especially for the girl who pretty much hated my guts. I wasn't sure that I even did. Maybe all this shit that I was thinking about was just a result of this raging need I had to bed her. Maybe I was willing to convince myself of or do anything to get what I wanted. Maybe I was going crazy. I didn't know what to think anymore.

 _Fuck, I need mental help_

I decided that night, other than going to see a shrink, which I had done enough of to last me a lifetime, there was only one way I'd be able to tell how I really felt about her. It could have quite possibly been the most stupid idea I'd ever had but I didn't know any other way to test myself. I needed to see if she could keep me from sex.

I wondered if just the thought of getting to have her could stop me just until SATs. That was longer than I had ever gone without sex since I lost my virginity. If I made it, then I was in deeper shit than I thought with her because that would prove she actually meant something to me. If I didn't, then I was losing my mind for no reason and I could go back to being normal Jace who banged every hot girl he could get his hands on and not obsess over one in particular. I honestly wasn't sure which outcome I wanted. I loved my lifestyle but part of me, not sure how big that part was, wanted to see whether I could have something more; to see that I wasn't broken beyond repair. I'd forgotten how to do anything with girls besides use them for sex and let them use me.

 _Maybe I'm not as broken as I thought...Or maybe I'm worse._

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

Throughout the next couple weeks, I made it a point to be extra nice to C, all while withholding my urge to fuck the entire female population of Roosevelt High. I did more jerking off in that week and a half before SATs than I had even before I was getting laid on the regular. It didn't help that it seemed as if every girl was wearing short skirts and tight tops that their tits were nearly falling out of. It was even worse with C. No matter what she wore, I'd find myself unable to control my thoughts about her.

Despite being tempted by the near nudity surrounding me, it was her that always came to mind when I was pumping my cock, chasing my orgasm. I wanted her...badly, but obviously she was important enough for me to wait for because even though I had many offers to sneak off to empty classrooms or meet up before or after school, I kept my dick in my pants and away from other girls. I had no doubt it wouldn't have been this hard for anyone else to abstain from sex. I wanted to tell someone, anyone but somehow I didn't think telling them I hadn't screwed someone in almost two weeks would be as impressive to them as it was to me. Either way, if I told them it was because of C, they would've probably laughed in my face. I may have had a big ego but I didn't think I wanted to take a hit like that.

 _Besides, even though I'm doing this because of her, isn't it really for me?_

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

When Wednesday came, they were all as prepared as they could possibly be. Jon, C, Alec, Mags and Bat all walked into the testing center and sat down to take their ACTs. I sat outside the door, reading our newest English assignment, wanting to be there for support. I think we would all agree that it was a very long three hours and thirty-five minutes.

When they emerged, Bat was the only one who looked nervous. He was a part of our study group but often had to leave early to go work at the tattoo shop and would come back late to continue studying with us.

C looked extra confident. I was curious to know how she did and hoped she'd share her scores when she got them back. Since it was test day, we didn't have to go back to school so we went over to Jon and C's to get in one last cram session before SATs the following day.

"Alright guys, I'm gonna make lunch since it's now one and I'm starving. Is there anything in particular you guys want or shall I just wing it?" C asked, when we got back to the house and were all sitting int the living room.

"I think we all trust you, Biscuit"

"You make amazing food," I raved.

"I'm good with whatever, Clare Bear."

"Okay, but you guys are getting brain food, not junk food. I'll be back in a little bit."

I waited a minute before I got up and followed her. I'd been putting in extra effort and it was surprisingly easy despite her snarky attitude. She had even gotten a little nicer to me, I think without her even realizing it was happening. I stood up and started following her into the kitchen.

"Where you goin, bro?" Jon asked, with thinly veiled irritation as he narrowed his eyes. I didn't need him on my back. He already wanted me to stay away from C. He used to want us to be friends but it seemed he had started to realize that I wanted to do some very dirty things to her; things he wouldn't be okay with no matter who it was but was made even worse by the fact that it was me. He knew me, he knew what I was like.

"Just going to see if she needs help. That's a lot of food to make and carry back in here." His jaw tightened and his nostrils flared as he took a deep breath through his nose. I could tell he was about to suggest that someone else go in there and assist but as he opened his mouth, I said, "Look, not to brag but I got the highest score on my SATs out of anyone in this room. I'm only trying to improve them. You guys need this, especially since this is the first time Mags and Bat have even taken them. I'd say somebody else should make lunch all together so C could get as much study time as possible if I didn't know she'd flat out refuse. So the least I can do is go in there and make myself useful so she can get back to studying sooner." Jon still looked at me skeptically for a few moments longer before waving me off into the kitchen. I could feel his glare burning into my back."

I walked into the kitchen and saw her in front of the fridge with the door open, leaning down with her ass sticking out of it. She was wearing tight leather pants that fit her like a second skin. I could just imagine the thong underneath. I stifled a groan. No matter how much I was trying to behave myself, I could only handle so much and I had fantasized a lot about fucking her on every surface in the room.

"Hey, need some help?" She stood up slightly and turned head towards me.

"I guess. You wanna cook chicken or cut veggies? I'm making wraps."

"Cook the chicken. You're much better at chopping than I am."

"Just chopping?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Oh I'm sure there are many other things that you're better at than me."

"Glad we both agree I'm the shit. Now get to work. Here's a container of cut up chicken. It's already been dressed and seasoned. Just dump it in the pan."

"Yes, boss"

"Fuck right. My kitchen, so what I say goes. If you're gonna be in here, you better get with it." I could see the small smile gracing her plump, pink lips. I suddenly wondered what she'd do if I tried to kiss her. The fact that that small smile was for me made me want to press my mouth to hers more than I could bring myself to admit.

I'd gotten to know a lot more about C in the last couple weeks. I studied her from afar and noticed a lot of things I never saw before...like how she always wrinkled her nose when she didn't like something or how she'd give that 'you're a fuckin idiot' look just before she burst out laughing at something you did. The sexy way she bit her lip without even realizing it and her bright green eyes that seemed to capture you and refused to let go.

She went to the gym on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays because she had band practice on Wednesday night. And the nights she didn't go to the gym, she usually spent an hour or two in the basement with her punching bag. I stood outside the kitchen and heard her sing when she thought no one was listening; sometimes the usual pop punk songs she played with her band but also artists like Adele and Aurora. She danced or did yoga in the living room when she thought everyone was upstairs. I watched her bite her tongue in concentration as she drew a complicated piece for art class. I even snuck out after her at six in the morning to watch her work on her mural. She had a body to die for and Angel, did I love her dirty mouth. After months of fighting with myself, I finally knew what that tight feeling in my chest was every time I saw her; I finally saw what had been right in front of my face the whole time. I didn't just want to sleep with her. I wanted to be around her. I wanted to know her. I wanted to _be_ with her...It hit me like a freight train and the realization scared the hell out of me.

I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't even notice when all the food was done. We assembled it before carrying it to the living room.

We made it through the rest of the day, everyone else studying and me just staring at my practice test, stuck inside my own head. It wasn't long before we all decided to go home and get a good night's sleep before the test that would decide where life after high school would take us. Even though I knew I needed rest, I also knew it was a joke for me. I wouldn't be able to shut my mind off...not after the epiphany I'd had. I tossed and turned for hours, trying to figure out what to do. I wasn't that person. I didn't do all the hearts and flowers bullshit but there I was, getting hopelessly stuck in...feelings? I couldn't tell anyone, I couldn't make a move, I'd have to hide it away.

I realized as well that regardless of who I was or who I knew how to be, there would always be the hardest obstacle and that was getting C to view me as anything other than her enemy. The problem was, I had no idea how to make that happen. It was more likely that hell would freeze over. Sometime, around three in the morning, I came to the conclusion that I would never be good enough to be anything to her but I'd be damned if I let us slip back into not talking at all and despite us not really being friends, I felt like we'd made at least a little progress towards it. If I couldn't have her, maybe we could at least be friends? I'd had the thought many times before but I knew about as much about being friends with a girl as I did about being a boyfriend. But maybe I could try? I already knew she was worth it and with my mind racing a million miles an hour, my decision was made. I really wanted to focus on changing the way she felt about me. I would become friends with C and I wouldn't let anyone, not even myself, stand in my way. And with that determination, I closed my eyes and was almost immediately claimed by sleep. I dreamt of alabaster skin, crimson hair and emerald eyes.

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

The next day, we all met at the testing center and went in, sitting in desks close to each other. I sat directly next to C and smiled at her when she looked in my direction. She rolled her eyes and looked back down at her desk, waiting for the tests to be passed out. I let my eyes linger a little longer before receiving my own packet and beginning the test that would help get me into Yale.

Four hours later, probably the longest four hours of my life, we emerged back into the light of the outside world. Everyone had smiles on their faces and was convinced they had done well. I had a feeling I'd accomplished what I'd set out to do and increased my own score by at least twenty points.

"Do you guys wanna go celebrate?" Jon asked.

"What kind of celebrating did you have in mind, big brother?"

"The drinking kind, of course."

"My brother, who just gave me shit a few weeks ago about drinking on a school night, wants to get drunk in the middle of the day? Am I hearing you right?"

"Hey, we just took the two hardest tests of our high school careers. I think I'm entitled to live a little."

"You'll get no complaints from me, Jon-Jon," she said, pulling her phone out of her pocket and looking at the screen, "but I've gotta go."

"Where ya headin off to?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it, asshole. It's not your concern." And with that, she walked out to her car, tossing a, "Later bitches," over her shoulder.

I knew it was gonna be difficult to get back to where we were, if we even could. It would take time and effort but I was willing to put in the work. Now all I had to do was learn how to reconcile my old self with the new me that seemed to be making his presence known more and more each day. I didn't know how it would work out but I knew that asshole, man whore me and caring, abstinent me would have to meet somewhere in the middle before I really lost my damn mind.

 _ **C POV**_

I sat down at my desk to get ready to take my test. Even though I had a feeling I'd do fine, it didn't stop me from being nervous. I was a lot more relaxed than I could've been though. Joe, Alec and I had spent all the previous weekend at an extreme skate course a few hours away. It was a great way to get rid of some of the stress that'd been built up from all the studying we'd been doing. We stayed the night in a hotel Saturday night and went back the next day for more skating before heading home late Sunday afternoon. It was probably the most relaxing weekend I'd had in awhile. Too bad I'd been back to the reality of life for the past four days but at least this was my last test and then I didn't have to worry about anything else until my scores came back and it was time to apply to universities.

I let my gaze wander and caught Jace's eye. He was smiling at me. That seemed to be happening a lot recently and all it did was confuse me.

When he showed up at my show, I was convinced he was only there to annoy me but as I periodically glanced at him throughout the evening, he appeared to be actually enjoying himself. I even caught him staring at me a few times which shocked me despite the fact that it shouldn't have.

It seemed like he'd been going out of his way to be nice, which I had to admit, was much better than his normal douche bag self but something about it just had me feeling...off. I generally trusted my gut so that automatically made me skeptical but it was actually taking effort to keep my walls up. I knew that I could potentially be setting myself up to get hurt again and that was the last thing I wanted. I decided to continue with the safe approach and rolled my eyes at him before looking away.

When we were finally done with our SATs, approximately four hours after we started, and with both those and our ACTs out of the way, I was feeling extremely relieved. I had hardly any time at all to come to terms with the fact I'd be taking them so soon and I killed myself studying for them despite barely ever having to study for anything in all the years I'd been in school. I wanted to make sure I had the scores that my dream school was looking for even though I knew it was a long shot that I'd actually get in. We walked out of the testing center and I was brought out of my thoughts by my brother's blatant enthusiasm.

"Do you guys wanna go celebrate?" Jon asked.

"What kind of celebrating did you have in mind, big brother?"

"The drinking kind, of course."

"My brother, who just gave me shit a few weeks ago about drinking on a school night, wants to get day drunk? Am I hearing you right?"

"Hey, we just took the two hardest tests of our high school careers. I think I'm entitled to live a little."

"You'll get no complaints from me, Jon-Jon," I said, just as my phone began to vibrate. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw I had a message from Aline. "but I've gotta go."

"Where ya headin off to?" Jace asked.

 _Here we go_

"Don't worry about it, asshole. It's not your concern." I started towards my car, shouting, "Later bitches," over my shoulder. As I sped down the road to Aline's house, wondering what it was that could be so urgent.

Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into Taki's and walked inside. Aline was supposed to meet me but it didn't look like she'd arrived yet so I grabbed a booth.

"Hey stranger, how ya been?" I heard from a familiar voice behind me. I turned to look at the only person allowed to call me Clarissa besides my parents and maybe Alec's.

"Phyl!" I exclaimed, jumping up to give her a hug. "I missed the hell outta you. I've just been so busy. I-"

"I know, testing. I'm fully aware of what goes on in high school, Clarissa. Don't feel bad that you didn't stop in because you were securing your future," she said, squeezing me back. "Besides, I'm going to have to get used to going a while without seeing you once you leave for college." She pulled away, patting me on the shoulder. I sat back in the booth as Phyl came to stand in front of me.

"No matter where I go, you know I'll always come home."

"You better, doll or I'll have to hunt you down and drag your ass back here." Her face looked serious but I could see the smile in her eyes. "So, can I get you anything? Food? Drink? Ridiculously good looking girlfriend that's walking up behind you?" I turned just in time to see Aline come up from behind me and plant a kiss on my cheek before sitting down across from me in the booth.

"Hey Phyl! How are you?"

"Good, Aline. And you?

"Good. Can I get a Diet Pepsi?"

"Sure, and for you Clarissa?"

"Lemonade, please."

"Coming right up, ladies." A couple minutes later she comes back with Aline's Diet Pepsi and my Homemade lemonade.

We talked about mundane things for awhile; catching each other up on what we'd missed over the last few weeks. We'd spent hardly any time together since I started studying for SATs and I could tell Aline wasn't happy about it. Every time she'd call during our study sessions and I'd only halfway pay attention to her or tell her I had to go after only talking for a few minutes, I could almost feel her discontent through the phone. She was less than happy I was going to college without her, which I felt was absurd in the first place since there was no guarantee we'd have ended up at the same college anyway. But the time I spent studying must've felt to her like I was already one foot out the door. I could tell she wanted to say something but was holding back, maybe trying not to ruin the first real moments we'd had together in weeks. Finally, I just couldn't take her giving me that sad look anymore and I had to say something.

"What the fuck is going on with you, Aline? You've been trying to act normal but I can see right through you. Something's up and I wanna know what it is." She sighed, audibly.

"I've just been thinking a lot about us recently. I know we only have this year left to be together before you go off to college and you don't know where you're even going but I don't wanna break up when you leave."

"Long distance relationships are hard, Aline. I'm not saying I don't want to make it work with you but if it comes down to it, is that really what you want? I'm gonna be busy with school. I probably won't be able to talk to you as often as you'd like because of class and studying. Depending on where I end up, I may only be able to come home on breaks. You're gonna be in your Senior year and there will be a whole mess of shit going on in your life too. Are you sure it's what you want, because if so, I'm willing to do it," I said, not knowing if I was trying to convince her or myself.

"Of course it's what I want. I love you," she said with hopeful eyes. I paused for a moment like I always did when she said the "L" word. Hell, it took all of my energy not to cringe; not because of Aline but just the words themselves meant lies and pain to me. Finally, I responded the only way I knew how.

"I care about you a lot too. And-" but before I could finish my sentence, her previously hopeful look turned to rage and she got up and stormed out. I stood up, threw some money on the table and ran after her. I caught up to Aline in the parking lot and grabbed her arm gently to get her to talk to me.

"Hey, why'd you book it out of there? I thought we were discussing our future?"

"What future? What kind of future can we possibly have if you can't return my feelings?"

"Do you think you're just another girl to me? Is that what this is about? You need validation about how I feel about you? Aline, if I didn't want to be with you, I wouldn't be. I've never been the kind of girl who was afraid to be alone. I know we haven't spent as much time together recently but that's not forever. Things will go back to normal now that SATs and ACTs are over. You don't have to worry about not being an important part of my life. You're my girlfriend for a reason," I pleaded, trying to make her understand.

At first I thought we were on the same page and it looked like she was about to relent but then her face hardened and the next words that came out of her mouth were the harshest I'd heard from her since we started dating.

"If you can't tell me you love me then I don't know what we are anymore," she said with downcast eyes. She quickly walked away before I could say anything else. Our relationship had been rocky at best since the day 'I love you' had spilled out of her mouth at dinner but that didn't mean I was ready for it to be over. I felt terrible that I still couldn't tell her. It had been almost eight months now that we'd been together and the words just didn't feel right. It didn't mean I didn't have strong feelings for her, because I did. I just didn't know if I felt THAT toward her. We had fun, and I liked being around her, but I didn't know if I could open myself up like that to her or anyone. I had some serious trust issues that could quite possibly take me a lifetime to get over. I knew if I shared that part of myself with Aline, she'd have a better understanding of why I was having a hard time getting anything resembling those three words out of my mouth, but once again...trust issues. Alec and Jon didn't even know exactly what happened but I learned the hard way that love destroys people and it was something I'd never forget.

There were exceptions to the rule of course. I loved my brother, I loved Alec and I loved my friends but obviously it wasn't the same and letting them too close was dangerous. I refused to do it. Alec and Jon were as close as it got. After them, Joe was the next best thing. He never asked what was wrong but he always seemed to know anyway. He was just there and helped me kick the shit out of a punching bag or a person when I needed to.

I watched Aline walk to her car and didn't stop her. I had nothing plausible that I felt I could tell her that would keep her from leaving. I hoped that this wasn't the end, and even though I couldn't say I loved her, I knew I'd miss her if our relationship ended, especially if we couldn't remain friends. I figured she just needed some time to cool down and realize how unreasonable she was being, like usual. I was hurt by the fact that she couldn't just be happy with how things were though and like every other time I felt hurt, it quickly turned to anger. Why in the fuck did our entire relationship revolve around me saying three words that really didn't mean shit. Didn't I show her how I felt about her everyday? Why couldn't that be enough?

The more I thought about the situation, the more pissed I got. I was pissed at Aline for breaking her promise to me. I was pissed because she expected me to give her what she wanted, when she wanted it and was acting like a child once again. But mostly, I was pissed at myself for being so fuckin broken and the fact that Jace and Jon had a part in that made an anger for my brother that I thought I'd buried deep, swell like the wave it was...about to take me under. I tried to quell it as best as I could and move on. Any slightly kind thoughts I'd had about Jace up until that moment went straight out the window and I suddenly got an overwhelming urge to kick his teeth in to wipe that smirk off his douchebag face forever. But Sebastian, Sebastian? If he weren't gone, he'd wish he was. I would make him beg and plead for me and then I would fuck him up, beyond recognition. He would regret ever knowing me.

I knew I needed to get the anger out or I would explode and that always lead to my previous 'favorite' pastime so I shot a quick text off to Alec and asked him to let Jon know where I'd be as well, since I couldn't bear to talk to him for the time being, and then I headed out to The Executioner.

Next thing I knew, I was in the gym locker room, changing into my boy shorts and sports bra and taping up my hands. I walked out to the main gym and Joe's eyes landed on me immediately. That man was like a hawk.

"Let me guess, you had a fucked up day and you need to kick the shit out of something?"

"I know you're not a psychic, Joe. You've just memorized my facial expressions."

"You've been with me for over two years now, Stunner. How could I not?" Joe and my friends at the gym had nicknamed me Stunner when I started actually kickboxing in matches about three months after I began training with Joe for one reason. I would get into the ring and my opponents would just stare at me. I was small, I was cute and people tended to underestimate me. It was a bad idea to underestimate me. I didn't disappoint in the ring.

"Alright, since you know me so well, what's bothering me?" I said with as much sarcasm as affection and Joe knew it. He feigned offense.

"Easy...Girlfriend trouble," he said, nonchalantly while picking his nails.

"You're a dick...you're also right, but that's really just like being a Magic 8-Ball. There's only so many answers to choose from," I teased. He snorted. "Now let's get to the ass kicking before I find other ways to take out my rage." Joe looked at me with something in his eyes that I couldn't recognize but as soon as I focused in, it vanished.

"You got it, Stunner."

 _ **~*0*0*0*~**_

After whooping the shit out of Eli for nearly fifteen rounds and spending another two hours between jumping rope and the punching bag, I was ready to call it a night. I went to the locker rooms and showered, before coming back out in my usual sweats and gray thermal. Joe was coming out of his office.

"Feel better? I think you might have done some permanent damage to Eli's face."

"Yeah, I kinda got into that mode, ya know?"

"I know the one, I'm a frequent flyer. You're getting pretty damn good in Muay Thai. For a few seconds there, I thought you were gonna snap Eli's neck." He laughed. "Next time we need to do some work on that spinning back elbow though. And please, please do some work on your bag at home between now and Monday. I know you have an SAT after party but I know you'll get stressed at some point so take it out on the bag instead of yourself or somebody else."

"Oh believe me, it'll get some use," I said, knowing that I planned on probably needing a new one before Monday came around.

Joe and I said our goodbyes and I left, texting Alec on the way out. If anyone would understand the hell that was my day, it'd be Alec. He met me at my house fifteen minutes later with Spumoni ice cream, salt & vinegar chips and Snickers. He really knew how to make a girl happy. We smoked a blunt while he filled me in on his day and I told him about Aline and my time at the gym. After we were done eating our haul of junk food, we turned on The Breakfast Club and I fell asleep in the arms of my best friend, trying not to think about what the next day would bring.


	13. Dancing With Myself

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahah. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 **Warning: Triggers for self-harm. I don't promote it, I just write it**

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***The Bouncing Souls- Wish Me Well (You Can Go To Hell)***

 ***The Swellers - The Best I Ever Had***

 ***Against Me! - Because Of The Shame***

 ***Rehasher - Don't Make Me***

 ***+44 - No, It Isn't***

 ***The Donnas - Dancing With Myself***

 _ **C POV**_

When Alec and I got to the school Friday morning after two of the academically hardest days of my life, we ended up having to park in the overflow lot. We were running late due to a wake and bake session turned full-on gourmet breakfast that nearly put us into a food coma. When we came in the door and turned the corner, what I saw in front of me as we headed in the direction of my locker was the last thing I expected. And really I guess I should have because I knew they'd still been hanging out behind my back but I didn't expect to see my...well, my whom to my knowledge was still my girlfriend, sucking face in the hallway with my ex cling-wrap. Alec tried to steer me away but I wouldn't be deterred. I walked right up to them and just stood there without even disturbing their little make out session. I slammed Helen's locker door and Aline finally looked at me with wide eyes.

"C! This...It ju-"

"Oh fuck you, Aline. Really, you were pissed off because I wouldn't tell you I love you, yet you love me so much that I find you making out with her in the middle of the hall? We had a fight. Fights don't mean the relationship is over the last time I checked, at least not without one party informing the other. And you wanted me to trust you with my heart, hah." I stared hard at both of them, biting my lip in thought. "Come to think of it, you guys are fucking perfect for each other and I don't know how I didn't see it sooner. I'm sure both of you will be very happy together." I stormed off down the hall to my locker, grabbed my books and jetted to English with Alec hot on my heels.

"C-"

"Not now, Alec. Just...not now."

I stormed into the classroom, set my books down none too quietly and took my seat. Jace was already there, looking at me curiously which I pointedly ignored. I just sat there with an irritated look on my face and began to read Fahrenheit 451, our newest literary conquest. Since we had just been through the hardest tests of our high school careers, we got the whole period as a reading period but as much as I tried, I couldn't focus. By the time the bell rang an hour and a half later, I had only read about thirty pages and could barely get into it. As I walked out of class, I felt my phone vibrate and pulled it out of my pocket to see a text from Alec. It had his combo and and a message that read 'mi locker es su locker'.

 _He really is the best friend ever_

By the Angel, I was so mad. I couldn't believe her. I couldn't believe I trusted that bitch. Yet another reminder of why I couldn't have relationships. I was so pissed from the morning I had that I was living life through tunnel vision. I just needed to make it through the day and then I would have the whole weekend. I knew I'd spend most of it taking Joe's advice and beating the shit out of my punching bag, after band practice and the party of course. I definitely needed to let out my anger somewhere.

I made it to my locker and had just started to shove everything into my bag to take to Alec's. I looked in my mirror before taking it down too when I saw Jace behind me and nearly fell over. His hands gripped my waist, probably to keep me from ending up on the floor but I couldn't stand the thought of him having his hands on me like that. Especially when they belonged to someone that I associated with so many words-

Joy. Hate. Happiness. Pain. Loathing. Friend. Crush. Traitor. Bully. Family. Enemy.

-words that had clear meanings in my head but I wasn't sure how they could all be associated with one person. I removed his hands, turned around and snapped.

"Keep your fucking hands off of me, Jace. What the fuck do you want? Come to pounce now that Aline and I are over?"

He looked taken aback. "Relax, C. I just came to see if you were alright. You just ran out of there. You seem like you're having a bad day and I just wanted to check on you. I had no idea about you and Aline." He sounded almost sincere which confused the hell out of me and pissed me off at the same time. He'd been acting weird lately and it was bothering the hell out of me.

"You don't need to check up on me."

"That's what a friend would do." He sounded almost hopeful which stoked the fire burning deep inside. An eruption was coming and there was no way to stop it anymore.

"We aren't friends though. Alec is my friend. Mags is my friend. _We_ aren't friends, Jace. _We_ don't do things like this anymore, we haven't for a long time."

"And why the hell aren't we friends, C? Why? Why can't you let me be your friend again? Why can't we move past this?" He had the nerve to look like a wounded animal but I was the one who'd been hurt. He picked the wrong fuckin day to play the victim.

"You seriously have to ask why? Maybe it's the fact that you tossed me aside like a rag doll when I wasn't convenient for you anymore." I paused to let the first blow sink in and may have considered combining it with an actual blow from my fist. "It could be that when you had a chance to be there for me, you made the conscious decision not to be. Or maybe it's the fact that whenever I _have_ seen you in the past three years, you've either acted like I was invisible or teased me mercilessly until I wished I was. Oh, or maybe it's the fact that you didn't feel I was worthy of even being acknowledged as anything more than a disturbance in the great Jonathan Herondale atmosphere until you started wanting to fuck me and believe me, Jace, I know that you do. For about four months, you've made it perfectly clear that all you cared about was getting in my pants even though I had a girlfriend." I knew that wasn't quite true because he'd been a little different over the past couple weeks but I was pissed and on a roll and a few weeks wasn't enough to redeem himself for all the shit he'd put me through. "Trust me, Jace, I'm not your type. I'm not one of the many skanks around here who care enough about your cock to want to give it a try. I'm not interested in sleeping with you. And now that you've figured out that my legs aren't just going to magically open for you, you decide you want to be my friend again because you've what, seen the error of your ways? Sounds like a great plan, except that the way you've treated me for the past three years doesn't even slightly resemble the way friends treat each other. So since you seem to be so obtuse and seriously needed to ask me why we aren't friends, THOSE ARE THE FUCKING REASONS WHY. WE CAN'T GET PAST IT, JACE, BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING TRUST YOU!" I ended up screaming at him and everyone in the hall around us who'd previously been watching our captivating performance just stared. I didn't even care at that point. What made me the most upset was that I was starting to let him back in. I knew it was a bad idea but I had started to see the Jace he'd been when we were kids. I wasn't sure if I was more mad at him or at myself. I just couldn't believe he was seriously that clueless. He was the first guy to really hurt me. Yeah, I understood that Jon hurt me too but he was my brother and even though that pain would always be there somewhere, he had spent the last two years making up for it by being the best one he could be. Jace betrayed me and what drove the knife home was that he acted like it didn't even matter...for _years_. Now he was acting like he all of the sudden cared? And I almost fell for it. Stupid!

"I…C, I…I'm sor-,"

I interrupted, "DON'T FUCKING BOTHER. Just don't. It's too late now. I'll just...I'll see you around or whatever." And I walked away, as my eyes burned. I wouldn't let myself cry. Not in front of these people and not over Jace. Not over anything. The time for tears had long since passed.

I couldn't stay at school after that. Everyone probably thought I was crazy after the scene I made. And maybe I was. I decided I was gonna skip the rest of the day and headed out to my car, looking out for Beef to make sure I wouldn't get caught leaving campus. I climbed into The Executioner, plugged my iPod in and pulled out of the parking lot. Once I was out on the road, I hit shuffle and heard the familiar sounds of Rehasher come through my speakers. I turned up the volume and began to sing along to 'Don't Make Me' while speeding down the road.

 _ **Jace POV**_

Iseriously felt like the biggest asshole ever as I stood against the locker right next to C's. I couldn't stop thinking about the look on her face. I'd never seen anything so...I don't know, unnerving before. She just looked so completely fragile, totally opposite of how she usually was. I saw the unshed tears in her eyes before she pretty much ran away from me and knew that I was the cause. I felt the physical pain of her hurt and anger and welcomed it this time. It reminded me why I wanted to have her back in my life. She was someone who consumed you. Her flame was so bright that nothing could dampen it and it was fucking beautiful. I knew I had royally fucked up, so many times.

Everyone was finally starting to dissipate as the bell was about to ring so at least I was getting stared at less than I had been five minutes before.

 _Who am I kidding, I fuckin deserve it_

I couldn't believe that was the way this had all started but at the same time I could. If she hated me for the rest of her life, it would have been my own stupid fault. I just wish I would have figured out how idiotic I was being in a better place, at a better time.

From the time I had been adopted at ten, I was friends with both Morgensterns. They were hard not to like and they were already good friends with Alec and Izzy and they adored Max. Jon had this amazing charisma that had people everywhere wanting to be his friend and C had crazy energy with a badass attitude, even then, that just let you know that she had your back no matter what. Jon, Alec, C, Izzy and I did everything together. Raced bikes, went to the movies, took the train all over just because we could. But then, the summer before Freshman year, just before Jon and I turned fifteen, we turned into idiots. Jon's parents had been gone for their first truly extended period of time. He was feeling pretty resentful that he had to take care of his 'baby sister' and I resented the fact that she was holding us back from enjoying the perks of becoming high school freshman among other things. Let's say for now that it wasn't a good time in my life, for a lot of reasons.

Jon loved C but he wanted to be a normal teenager and have fun. As the hot new quarterback and me, the hot new running back at training camp, we made friends easily. We quickly caught the attention of the one of the offensive linemen, Sebastian Verlac. He was going to be a Senior when school started and he took us under his wing.

Sebastian explained the dynamics of getting in good with the other guys on the team and hooking up with cheerleaders. He told us that guys like us could have anything we wanted and we believed him. I pushed Jon into that life because I needed it to distract me from my own shit and he willingly went along, not just because he was my best friend but because he needed it too, in his own way. So we started working out all the time. We only talked and hung out with guys from the team or girls on the squad. As we started hanging out with them more and more, we hung out with C less and less. Up until then, it hadn't made a difference but it became more apparent over time that she wasn't quite like the rest of us. Alec was the only one really still spending time with her since even though Izzy wasn't in high school yet, she had already started hanging out with the Freshman cheerleaders and even they weren't as inseparable because those were the days before Robert and Maryse started homeschooling Max. Alec used to have to watch him almost every night. He was on the team as well and had just started hanging out with Magnus so he really never got out to too many parties.

The team would always come over to Jon's because no one was ever home. And for the most part, we just ignored C. But she'd always been a force to be reckoned with and made herself known no matter what. Then one time, Jon caught Mikey, our safety, getting a little too cozy with her. That was when Jon started letting people know that if they came anywhere near his sister, he would fucking kill them. He made sure I knew that I was included in the threat. I was way too interested in girls three years older than me with giant tits to even look at her.

That was the year that the infamous Morgenstern Back To School party was born. We either had or went to a party nearly every night that summer. We took C with us to almost every party because she refused to stay home but then promptly ditched her once we arrived. Alec was there every once in awhile but most of the time, ended up staying home to babysit Max. It honestly wouldn't have mattered to us either way. She could have been drugged and hauled off and we wouldn't have noticed. We were horrible. I can now see just how horrible.

Not only were cheerleaders from our school invited but so were cheerleaders from rival schools as well. At every one of those parties, Sebastian would hook us up with some random girl while he would hang out. Eventually he started to keep C company. He was the coolest guy and we were beyond stoked not only that a senior would be hanging out with us and hooking us up with chicks but that he would take babysitting duty while we were off getting laid.

It went on like that all summer, with us barely acknowledging C at all and if we did, it was only to essentially make sure she wasn't dead. Gradually, she just stopped even trying with us. At the end of the summer, Jon had a pool party for his fifteenth birthday party. The guys showed up with beer and we had food. Alec tried to get C to come outside but she wouldn't. She was convinced we didn't want her there anyway and she was right, we didn't. We wanted to have a high school party with our high school friends. The cheerleaders from our school were due to be there any moment but the guys from the team, being the drunk asses they were, asked Jon to get her out there so they could _supposedly_ say hi. When Jon finally got her to come outside, she was wearing a long, white t-shirt with nothing but leg showing underneath. Mikey, convinced me that it would be funny to get her wet and being the drunk, uncaring asshole that I was, I picked her up while she was kicking and screaming and threw her in the pool. She climbed out, holding her chest a minute later and looked at me with wide, glassy eyes before running inside. One of the many times I caused her pain and didn't care. Of course there were many.

Jon got pissed at me for making her freak out causing him to have to go inside and try to talk her down. He emerged a few minutes later and said she had locked herself in her room and wouldn't open the door. After that, he gave up and said she'd come out when she wanted to. I didn't care what happened as long as I got to keep partying and Jon didn't really care either but Alec of course volunteered to go try. Just then, all the cheerleaders showed up in their bikinis and all the unpleasantness was forgotten, or so I thought.

I didn't even run into C for a few days after that but when I did, she wasn't like her normal self. Previously, after we started treating her like shit, she tried to make the best of it and act like it wasn't affecting her because she had lost her will to fight us but this time when I saw her, she was acting like being in my presence was a hassle, and she was a total bitch. After that, she pretty much avoided us completely. We never saw her so we didn't have to take her to any parties or babysit her which we were both ecstatic about. When we did see her, she floated around the house like a ghost.

The school year started and Jon's parents still hadn't made an appearance. Things went on that way for a little while, with lots of drinking, girls, late nights and early mornings. Luke and Jocelyn finally made it back the day before Christmas and left again the day after New Years which temporarily served to bring C out of whatever hole she was hiding in since it meant she'd get to work on her car with Luke but she disappeared again as soon as they left. We didn't mind though, we were having too much fun, managing to still pull damn near perfect grades between the two of us while living a lifestyle we'd only dreamt about. At least we were until a few days after the start of Sophomore year.

I still don't know all of what happened that week. I do know that Tuesday was the night that Sebastian Verlac's car flipped. He had graduated the year before but he was going to NYU so he was really close and still partied with us. It was only September so he had no bad weather to contend with but the days had already started to get shorter and it was already dark outside when it happened. They said he had to be going pretty fast in order for what happened to his car to have been possible. Sebastian was taken to the hospital and pronounced dead on arrival. We were all devastated.

The following Saturday was the day of Sebastian's funeral. Sebastian's aunt, some other relatives, the whole football team and the cheerleading squad were all there standing around the burial site to pay their respects. I was standing toward the back with Jon, listening to the preacher go on about 'Ashes to ashes and dust to dust' when I heard Jon's phone vibrate in his pocket. Alec looked at me, painfully, as Jon walked away and picked up the phone, almost as if he knew what was happening on the other end of the line.

Jon came back a couple minutes later, panic in his eyes and told Alec they needed to go. When I asked why they were leaving, Jon said it was C and they needed to go take care of her. Now at that point, I just thought she was having some kind of weird girl meltdown but thinking back on it, I should have known something worse was going on by the look of panic on Jon's face and the fact that he was leaving our friend's funeral to go to her. My best friend didn't rattle easily but he looked pale as a ghost. They quickly left the cemetery and I didn't see Jon for a full month after that. He wouldn't answer his phone and when I'd go by their house, no one would come to the door and the spare key had been removed. Alec was allowed special permission by our parents to spend twenty-four hours a day over there if it was required of him and he did just that. Maryse even made two or three trips a week herself but I wasn't sure of the reason. I would ask what was going on and Alec would tell me to 'only ask if I really cared'. I told him that of course I cared about Jon, he was my best friend. His exact words were 'that's exactly the response I expected from you. I'll have Jon call you when he gets a chance' and that's the last time he would or even was home long enough to talk to me about it. At the time I was confused but now I understood he was disappointed in me for not caring about what was going on with C.

It took another month for things to even remotely calm down. Alec was finally coming home and staying for longer than the time it took to grab clean clothes. Jon came back to school although it seemed like he was avoiding me. When I'd actually run into him, I'd ask him about it and he'd deny anything was wrong. That was, until the weekend rolled around again. There was a great party going on at one of the Senior cheerleaders' houses and I wanted Jon to come with me. I went around to his house after school and got him to come to the door since it seemed Alec was the only one welcome inside anymore.

"I'm not going," he said.

"What d'you mean you're not going, bro. This is Rhonda's. You can't skip one of her parties."

"Well, I am and I'll probably be missing a lot more parties from here on out. I've been such a dick for so long and I need to be here, with C."

"What the fuck, dude? You act like she died or something."

"Yeah, or something," he muttered, sounding exhausted and devastated at the same time, although I wasn't sure why. "I'll catch you later, man," and with that, he shut the door in my face.

Now if I had been a sane, compassionate, unselfish person and life smart instead of just book smart, I would have put my own wants on hold and gone to make sure C was okay, even if it was just for Jon. C and I may not have been friends at that point but we were friends once and when Jon said something like that, it should have set off some kind of red flag and I _should've_ cared. But being the self-serving asshole I was, the only thing I could feel for her was hate. I hated her for taking my best friend away from me. I hated her for making me feel like a stranger in a house that had been like a second home to me since I was ten. I hated her for making me feel like I should care when I clearly didn't want to. But most of all, I hated her for something that she had absolutely no control over. Something that she couldn't do anything about. Something that wasn't her fault at all.

After that, I threw all my energy into school, football and girls. I'd see Jon at football practice and in class but beyond that, we didn't hang out socially fo almost nine months. He seemed to want his space and I had other priorities. C came back to school about three or four months after Sebastian's funeral and if I wasn't ignoring her, I was torturing her. She wasn't in a social group that was considered popular and many of my friends thought she was weird. I'd started calling her sex kitten as a joke when she was thirteen or fourteen and still kinda had the body of a boy. When she got to high school, her body had filled out a bit more but she still wore t-shirts and jeans which was way different than what the girls I knew were wearing so my use of it got more intense when I even deemed to talk to her at all. Later, even when I started to notice her, it just became a way to get on her nerves. The combination of all the things I was doing just pushed Jon further away from me.

One day, I decided to try and mend the rift between us. I showed up at the Morgenstern house when I knew C would be out with Alec and surprised the shit out of Jon. I told him I wanted to know what the hell happened and why the hell we weren't friends anymore. He said he didn't know if I was ready to hear it yet. I made it very clear that I wasn't leaving without an explanation, so he said he would tell me that which was his to tell. He said that at Sebastian's funeral, he had gotten a phone call from the hospital saying there was something wrong with C and that they needed him to come right away. He wouldn't tell me exactly what was wrong with her and to be honest, I didn't really care. I was there for Jon. After she was released from the hospital, he stayed home for a little over two months with Alec to help take care of her. They were all getting homework from the school that Alec would go pick up everyday. He said he felt responsible for what happened to her and if he had just been a better brother, things would've been different. And last but certainly not least, he said that he didn't blame me for wanting to live it but he couldn't be a part of our lifestyle anymore. He was becoming a man and he had grown up responsibilities to take care of. It took a few weeks and me leaving C mostly alone but we eventually went back to being friends. Jon didn't care for the fact that C and I still didn't get along but he figured he couldn't force it and we'd fix it when we were ready.

I never said it to him but I thought Jon was giving up _the_ life back then just for his stupid younger sister. Now I would give anything to take the last three years back so I could do them all again, this time, with C still as a part of my life. I can't believe how much of an idiot I was. Somehow, I always thought my hate for her, my teasing of her, my ignoring her was justified. All because I thought she was ruining my life. All because of my own issues that to this day, I'm still hiding from. I never realized I hurt her so badly and I'm ashamed to say that if I hadn't gotten it my head to get closer to her, I probably still wouldn't care. That was worse than being a dick, that was being a total creep. What kind of a man hurts women on purpose and then doesn't even care? I reminded myself of the last person I ever wanted to be like. Even the girls I've slept with knew exactly what they were getting when they were getting it but with C, I never provided her with a warning label that said 'will be your friend, break your heart, become your mortal enemy and then, after trying to get close to you so he could sleep with you, will try to become your friend again while secretly trying to get you to fall for him after years of being the biggest dick on the planet'. They couldn't even write a Hallmark card that could apologize for that.

 _How the fuck am I going to fix this?_

 _ **C POV**_

I just drove home, went into my bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I took in my dark red curly hair, my porcelain doll-like skin, my wide green eyes, my full, pink lips and the array of metal that was randomly threaded through pieces of my face. I also noticed a few other things. My expression was tight, my eyebrows were furrowed, my lips were stretched into a thin line. I was livid. I was rolling on a wave of fire and I wanted to burn the world down. Of course, anger was just another way of avoiding hurt and that's exactly what I was feeling under the surface. How did he have the balls to just throw my feelings to the side once again and then still expect me to be his friend? How could I still matter that little to someone who claimed they wanted to be a part of my life?

My throat was beginning to burn and I could feel that vaguely familiar prick behind my eyes. I knew it was coming and I had to do something to relieve the pressure that didn't involve waterworks. I was tough. I didn't cry. Girls like me had no more time for tears.

I opened the cupboard under my sink and ran my hand along the underside of the counter all the way to the back. It had been a while but I was pretty sure I had at least one still hidden. I told Alec and Jon they were all gone after they cleaned out my room about a year and a half ago but I couldn't be without at least one. Sometimes things just weren't that simple and I knew they wouldn't understand. I also knew that unless I wanted to explain to them and see the look of disappointment on their faces, I'd be wearing long sleeves for the next few days.

I unstrapped the blade from under the counter and peeled off the tape. I opened the drawer and grabbed the medical tape, alcohol and gauze so I would have it on hand for when I was done. While I knew I really needed it, I also needed it to be discreet to keep the damage with my bros to a minimum. I removed my cuffs and placed them on the counter.

The first drag of the sharp blade across my pale skin was euphoric. By the time I made it to the fourth, I felt like I was hearing my own personal version of the hallelujah chorus. I had missed this. I watched the blood drip down my arm and into the sink, turning the normally white porcelain, rose colored. The sting from what I knew would turn into razor burn tomorrow was just the distraction I needed from this hell that I called my life.

I continued to watch the crimson snakes coil their way down my skin and pool into the sink for what felt like hours but couldn't have been more than a few minutes. I assessed the cuts and was satisfied to find they weren't deep enough for stitches but they would certainly scar pretty good. I turned on the water in the sink to wash the blood down and then grabbed a piece of gauze, pouring alcohol all over it. Once it was soaked, I began to mop up the bloody mess that was my arm. It burned like hell but that was all part of the appeal. I dried myself with some more clean gauze, bandaged myself up with the rest and secured it with the medical tape. I washed the razor blade and then taped it back underneath my counter. My discarded cuffs were put back into place, although now, with a pleasant bite to accompany them.

I headed back into my bedroom and changed into a pair of black skinny jeans, a black Beatles tank top with a red and black plaid button up over it and put on socks with some black chucks. I pulled my hair into a messy bun, rolled up a blunt and took off out the door. I shut my phone off. I didn't want to hear from anyone or get any lectures from Jon about skipping school for almost an entire day.

Once I got out to my car, I turned my iPod back on, hearing blink-182 blasting through my speakers and drove without any destination in mind. Well, I guess I always knew my destination but just didn't want to think about it until I got there. It would be the first time I'd been there since I supposedly stopped blaming myself.

I pulled my car into the lot and got out, taking the blunt, my iPod and headphones and my bag with me. I tucked the blunt behind my ear and made my way to the grave not fifteen feet in front of me. The cemetery was mostly abandoned, especially during work hours on a weekday. I set the blunt and the rest of my stuff down on the grass before falling to my knees and just staring off into space for a little while. When I finally came back to earth, I began to rip up the grass and yell at someone that no longer resided with the living.

"You know, you...ruined me...you fuckin...bastard. I may not...trust Jace...because he genuinely...doesn't deserve it...but you...you wrecked me...for anyone...for the rest...of my...fuckin...life. Why me?" I yelled, as if expecting an answer from the heavens. I stopped tearing the terrain around me when I realized my nails were bloody and I was surrounded by mounds of greenery. I thought coming here would make me feel better but all it succeeded in doing was bringing up more of the past that I had tried to put behind me a long time ago. I wasn't that person anymore. All that anger was still brewing inside me. I needed a way to quell the darkness and staying there wasn't the answer.

I picked up all my stuff, got back in The Executioner and drove even further outside the city, blasting the Flatliners the whole way. I pulled up to the giant green structure about twenty minutes later and heaved my bag over my shoulder before exiting my vehicle. I jumped up to the ladder and pulled myself up, being careful not to drop anything. I gingerly climbed all the way to the top, admiring the view in front of me. You could see what felt like the whole world from the top of the water tower. I went there sometimes when I needed to clear my head. I put my headphones in and just sat there, trying to block everything out but the music. I smoked my blunt and spent most of the day writing music and thinking about how fucked everything had become in the last twenty hours. I had gone a little over a year without cutting myself and in one morning, I gave all of that up. I didn't know whether to feel relieved or like a failure. More than anything, I just felt numb. A side effect of the cutting that I knew would wear off way too soon. I pulled out my notebook and began to turn my feelings into song.

When the sun went down and the stars came out, I laid down and looked up at the sky, taking it all in. After what I felt like was probably about another two hours, I climbed down the tower and got back in my car. I plugged my iPod back into the aux cable and went through my iPod to find the one song I felt like listening to on my ride back, Back To Hell by Alkaline Trio. I put it on repeat and turned up the volume as I began to sing along.

When I finally pulled up to our house, all the lights were off and Jon's car was gone. I walked up to the door, let myself in and made a mad dash up the stairs to my bedroom where I promptly locked myself in. I put my iPod on the dock and looked for a song. I selected a song by Against Me!, turned up the volume and began to sing at the top of my lungs.

I realized after I was halfway into another song that I hadn't turned my phone back on so I powered it back up. When I looked at it, I had eight texts from Jon, seven from Alec, four from Mags, two each from Si and one from Jace, who shouldn't even have had my number since I never gave it to him. I quickly sent a message off to everyone but Jace letting them know I was fine. I didn't want to talk to him and I felt like responding to his message would just make him think that it was okay for him to open up a dialogue with me. I would have to see him soon enough since tomorrow was the post-SAT party.

My phone started to ring and I saw that it was Jon. I hesitated but then figured I'd better get it over with so I turned down the music and answered the phone.

"Hi Jon, I'm fine. Sorry I left school. I just couldn't deal and I had to get out of there," I told him, hoping he would understand.

"I get it. I heard about Aline and the fight you had with Jace in the hall. I almost punched his stupid ass in the face. I wish you would have told me what was going on. Everyone's been worried about you all day, especially me and Alec. Even Jace was worried and he normally doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself."

"I'm sorry, Jon. I just didn't feel like explaining to anyone what happened and I couldn't handle anyone trying to calm me down. I just wanted to be mad. I needed to be mad and I needed that anger to burn itself out on it's own. I'm better now. I'm just sitting at home in my room, listening to music."

"It's okay Clare. If you needed to go, you needed to go. Just don't turn your phone off next time. What did you do anyway," Jon asked slyly. He was trying to be slick but I knew Jon and I could hear the unspoken question in his voice. I didn't want to lie to him but I couldn't tell him the truth either.

"Just drove around." No one knew about my special place and I planned to keep it that way. "It was pretty relaxing although I probably would have gotten over my anger quicker if I would have just gone to the gym. You know how I love to beat the shit out of the punching bag and Joe is oddly comforting to be around."

"Yeah, I know," Jon said with a sigh. I was silently begging him not to ask any questions but I knew I wouldn't get lucky enough to for that. "What did you and Jace even get into a fight over anyway? I know it happened between first and second period but Jace wouldn't tell me what got you so pissed at him. I know it had to of been something beyond the norm."

"I don't want to talk about it, Jon. The point is I'm over it. I lost my shit but it's done. I probably overreacted but you know how I feel about showing my emotions in front of other people. I just had to leave. Anyway, I wish I could just avoid him but unfortunately half of my day is spent with him so I'm gonna just have to suck it up." I couldn't tell Jon what was really going on. It would just bring up the same old shit that he didn't need to continue feeling guilty for because it was over. And I certainly didn't wanna talk about Aline and how fucked up that whole situation was.

"I can cut my date with Izzy short if you need me to, Clare. You know I've always got your back."

"I know. You don't have to do that. You're the best, Jon and I love you. You spend way too much time worrying about me as it is and I'm sorry about that." I was almost in tears at this point and trying really hard to hold them in. I didn't spend the past two years avoiding them just to lose it now.

"It's my job to worry about you. You're my baby sister and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you Clare and if I have to kill my best friend for you, consider it done." I noticed how he didn't seem to want to bring up Aline either.

"I'll keep that offer in mind. Are you out with Izzy now or are you guys at the Institute? I didn't mean to ruin your date."

"You didn't ruin it. Yeah, we're at the Institute. I was gonna come looking for you but Alec talked me out of it. He said that if you turned your phone off it was because you needed to cool down and if we didn't hear from you before eleven, then he would help me look for you."

"Alec knows me well," I laughed, insincerely. "Besides Jace, I sent everyone a text letting them know I'm home and okay so they can stop worrying now."

"Jace knows too. I just told him when I got your text right before he left."

"I'm honestly surprised he was home in the first place. It's Friday night. Shouldn't he be hooking up with some slut instead of sitting at home?"

"Tha-," Jon started but just then, I heard the doorbell so I interrupted before he could finish.

"Sorry Jon, I gotta go. Someone's at the door. I'll either see you later or tomorrow sometime. Don't forget we still have to setup for the party. Love you."

"Okay Clare, I'll see you tomorrow, around eleven-ish. Magnus will be by at nine to start with the lights. Love you." And with that, Jon hung up and I made my way down the stairs to get the door. Normally I looked through the peep hole but forgot in my hurry to see who the hell was ringing my doorbell at almost ten-thirty at night.

I unlocked the front door, swung it open and who do you think was at my door but none other than Jace Herondale.

"No, just...no," I said as I tried to shut the door. Jace put his arm out to stop me.

"C-"

"Why are you here?" I interrupted, keeping all emotion off my face.

"I wanted to talk to you and I wa-"

"Well, I don't wanna talk to you. I figured you would get the hint when I walked away from you at school and further when I didn't text you back earlier. Obviously you didn't so let me make it perfectly clear. I may have to sit next to you at school, work with you and even see you on occasion but the time for talking has long since passed. I don't have anything left to say to you. Now if you don't mind, I've got shit to do. Goodnight, Jace."

I shut the door and locked it with him just staring at me, still looking like he was going to say something. I really didn't want to be around him any sooner than I had to. He had some pretty big balls showing up at my door at all after our exchange this morning. I wasn't one to fall for the Jace Herondale usual line of bullshit though so I booked it back upstairs. I stripped off my pants, socks and shoes, turned the music up and proceeded to dance around my room in my underwear. After such a shitty day, it was nice to have this night alone so I could spend it doing one of my favorite things…dancing it out until, once again, the world seemed like a decent place to exist.

 **A/N: For those of you worried that self-harm is going to become a common theme in my story, don't fret, it won't be. She struggles with it and I know there are a lot of people that do. This is just about two people's journeys to find themselves and sometimes that means things don't always work out the way we intend them to. Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review. I'm now shamelessly offering previews.**


	14. This Is My Confession?

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahah. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***blink-182 - Reckless Abandon***

 ***Coldplay - Trouble***

 ***Pat The Bunny - Take Me By The Hand And Lead Me Through This Disaster***

 ***Foo Fighters - My Hero***

 **Important A/N at the bottom. Please Read and don't forget to review for a preview!**

 _ **Jace POV**_

I woke up on Saturday morning feeling like a total douche face. I'd gotten out of Saturday school due to the teacher who ran it being on vacation but even that didn't make me happy. All I could feel was guilt. More guilt. That shit was seriously starting to pile up. Could you already be sick of something you'd barely allowed back in? I needed to make amends but I didn't know how to do it if she wouldn't give me a chance to apologize. I was finally understanding the whole 'Satan' thing. C was a fire-cracking she-devil and even though it was driving me nuts, I was finding it to be Totally. Fucking. Hot.

 _Just friends_

Everything had been building for such a long time but the explosion was still shocking. For the first time, I'd seen the effect of all the pain that I'd caused and it felt like shit.

 _ **Flashback**_

All day Friday, I couldn't stop thinking about C running away from me. I had no idea where she went, if she was okay, what she was doing and that scared the shit out of me. Worry was another emotion I wasn't used to, not for a long time. I tried to avoid Jon and Alec because I knew they'd pick up on my mood. Finally, when it hit lunchtime, Jon tracked me down and he immediately figured out something was up. He questioned me and despite what my brain was telling me to do, I spilled. I told him how I was trying to be there for C after I saw she was upset and she ran off but the words she said...those were my own personal torture and mine alone.

Jon immediately pulled out his phone and tried to call her but seemingly got no answer. When there was no response the second time, he got up, with me following close behind, and went to go talk to Alec. It made sense that if anyone knew where she was, it would be him. When we reached the courtyard, Alec looked ragged was frantically talking to Magnus and Simon. We walked over and just barely picked up the last part of the conversation before they noticed us. When Alec realized I'd heard him talking about the breakup, he shot a dirty look my way. In my own misery, I'd completely forgotten to mention the fact that they broke up to Jon. I wasn't even really sure it was my place so it may have been a good thing I hadn't.

"What the fuck do you mean C and Aline broke up?" Jon asked.

"C walked in this morning and saw Aline and Helen making out in front of Helen's locker. I guess they got in some huge fight last night, once again, over the fact that C hasn't said the 'L' word yet. And instead of just breaking up with her, like a normal human being, Aline somehow thought it was okay to cheat instead."

"C also apparently got in a fight with Jace, right after first period," he explained, quickly glaring at me and then turning back to Alec. "Then she took off. I tried calling twice but it went straight to voicemail both times. Do you have any idea where she went?"

"I can't think of any place besides your house, the gym or the skate park. I doubt she would have gone any of those places if she wanted to be alone since they're the first places we'd look. She probably just needs some time to herself to sort shit out but look, if she doesn't show back up by tonight, I'll definitely help you look for her." Jon looked thoughtful for a moment and then a look of pure panic took over his face.

"Fuck. Alec, we have to g-,"

"They're all gone, Jon. Don't worry. We checked everywhere, more times than I can count. Knowing her, she'll turn back up when she's calmed down. But we gotta give her time to chill. It's obviously been an emotional day." I had no idea what they were talking about but something told me it wasn't good. I was starting to panic a little bit and had to remind myself that none of these people knew how I was feeling. It was better to keep it to myself.

Jon nodded and his light green eyes went back to their normal shade. He turned to me again and said, "you're lucky I don't knock your ass out right now."

"Jon! That's enough. Fuck, punching Jace isn't gonna help the situation...even if he did piss her off enough to make her leave."

 _Thanks, brother_

"Maybe we should just keep trying to get ahold of her instead of getting angry with each other," Simon interjected.

"I'm with Simon on this. Let's continue to text her and see if she eventually responds," Magnus agreed.

Everyone spent the rest of the day, calling her and shooting her texts whenever they got a chance. I, of course, didn't have her number so I had to threaten it out of Simon when I waited for him by his locker after school let out. He finally handed it over, begging me not to tell C where I'd gotten it from.

It took me five hours to get up enough courage to text her. I had no idea what to say. _Sorry I've been such a tool over the years and that I immediately expected you to forgive me but I might be falling for you yet am aware I can never have you so I really need you to be my friend so I can at least keep you in my life in some way cuz I'm a selfish prick?_ Yeah, that sounded real great. In the end, I settled for something simple and to the point.

 _ **Hey, it's Jace. I'm so, so sorry : ( Can we please talk?**_

When I didn't hear back from her, I sulked. I didn't know what I was thinking. If she wouldn't respond to Alec or Jon, why the hell would she respond to me? I made my way downstairs and saw Jon sitting on the couch with his arm around Isabelle.

"Anyone hear anything from C?" I asked, hesitantly and waited for Jon to bite my head off. He'd been just barely talking to me since I told him about our fight at lunch. I got she was his little sister but damn, he was acting like I tried to kill her or something. Nothing had changed in the past twenty-four hours except that we were getting on slightly worse than we usually did but I couldn't imagine why that would have Jon so mad at me. He sat silent, ignoring my question. Izzy looked over at him, sighing and rolling her eyes and then looked back at me.

"We haven't heard from her yet. Jon just sent her ano-"

Jon's phone started going off and my breath momentarily ceased. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at the screen.

"It's C. She's back home." He stood up and started walking towards the kitchen. "I should probably call her and make sure she's okay." Izzy smiled and nodded her head, shooing him into the kitchen with the wave of her hand. I let out my breath.

"I gotta go, I'll see you guys later," I said as I quickly grabbed my leather jacket and keys from the table where I'd uncharacteristically thrown them when I walked in the door. And that's how I found myself standing outside the Morgenstern house at ten thirty with a door shut in my face, listening to the muffled sound of the Donnas coming from the third floor window. I had to find a way to get her to let me in. I didn't know if I could be the guy that would never let her down but I sure as fuck wanted to try and if I was going to get her to give me that chance, it looked like I was gonna need help.

 _ **End Flashback**_

 _ **C POV**_

My first stop, on Saturday morning, was my punching bag in the basement. My nails were still all torn up from digging in the grass so I made sure to tape my fingertips as well. I kicked the shit out of that thing so hard that I ripped it open and tore it off the chain. I had to order a new one, with express shipping, from the same guy Joe got his equipment from. It was getting pretty beat up anyway so I wasn't too concerned for it's status but it did concern me that I was still that angry.

After the basement, I showered, dressed and grabbed my skateboard before heading out to work on my mural. I had put in about an hour by the time it reached eight o'clock. I'd sent a text to the whole band last night before I fell asleep, letting them know I wanted to meet up early to practice the new song I'd spent the previous day writing and I wanted to do it away from the prying ears at my house. I skated to Simon's, arriving at a quarter past to the tired faces of my fellow band mates.

"You guys look like you didn't sleep at all," I said to everyone but Matt.

"Maybe because every time you Morgensterns throw one of your famous 'parties', we always end up getting up earlier than the sun," Eric sniped. I was met with silent agreement from everyone else, except Matt. We seemed to agree on almost everything. Besides Simon, I was closer to him than any of the other guys in the band despite knowing him for the least amount of time.

"Come on guys. The suns been up for hours and so have I."

"Not everyone can survive on four hours of sleep like you and Matt." Kirk added.

"Some of us don't have to rely on beauty sleep to look this good," shot Matt, winking at me. I laughed at the scowls that quickly turned into yawns, coming from Eric, Simon and Kirk.

"Yeah, Yeah, so about this new song you expect us to learn in the next twelve hours..."

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

We left for my house around four, after many hours of running through our set list. We decided to mix it up a bit. We were performing five songs at tonight's party instead of our usual three so we'd decided to throw in a cover. We planned to go with the three from the BTS party, the new song I'd written and a cover of Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons that we'd messed around with over the summer and perfected. I didn't play much guitar on the song which I was grateful for because the vocals were crazy and it gave Simon and Eric a chance to show off their skills.

When we pulled in Eric's van with all of our equipment, I was quickly ushered inside by Mags, insisting I needed to get ready. I shot an apologetic look over my shoulder at the guys, feeling bad that they'd have to set up without me. They didn't seem to mind too much though. I'd have to convince Mags to at least let me come down to do a mic check before the party started.

Running through the house to first grab a water and then upstairs, we saw Jon, Bat, Mark and to my surprise, Jordan, all moving furniture and setting up for the party.

"Sup y'all?" I asked, without being able to wait for an answer as I was rushed up the stairs.

Mags pushed me into my room and shut the door. "Okay, Biscuit. You may as well just make me your personal stylist. We both know I'm going to be a coveted asset in the fashion industry when I make it big."

"You bought me another dress, Mags? Seriously, you're going crazy. You have to let me pay you back for this one."

"Biscuit, I didn't buy you a dress," he went to my closet and pulled out a dress bag, "I made you one." He unzipped the bag and pulled out a hanger with a gorgeous dress on it. It was knee-length and light pink with thick, black pinstripes. The dress had a slight sweetheart neckline with black straps and trim and was separated by a wide, black three-button belt.

I grabbed the hanger and held the dress up to my body.

"Wow, Mags. This dress is hot. Forget all that shit I said before about needing to be comfortable. I love it." He laughed.

"This is the first dress I've made with someone specific in mind and the first article of clothing I've made to someone's measurements instead of to mannequin size. Talk about putting in work. I'm glad you love it though. I like to think my creations have a little bit of magic in them."

"Thanks, Mags. I'm gonna look amazing."

"I did, however, buy you some shoes to go with it." He handed me a box which I quickly took and opened after hanging the dress on the side of my mirror. Inside, I found a pair of leather, peep toe booties with 5-inch heels that zipped up the front and were cut into a zig zag pattern on the sides with round metal studs.

"Perfect shoes to go with the perfect dress." I smiled at Magnus' ability to know what I'd like even though if it was left up to me, it'd be skinny jeans, band shirts, chucks, skate shoes and plaid everything. He smiled back.

"Come on, Biscuit. Time to start getting you ready. Get your cute butt in the shower."

"On it."

"Oh and you can totally pay me back for the shoes, by the way," he shouted after me as I made my way into the bathroom.

"Noted." I replied, just before shutting the door.

 _ **Jace POV**_

I woke up at five, covered in sweat. I kept having nightmares and couldn't catch more than a small amount of sleep at a time without waking up. They were always triggered when I had something particularly stressful going on in my life, which is specifically why I spent so many years going with the flow and didn't really get too serious about anything but school and football.

I wanted things in my life to remain easy, manageable. I needed that simplicity for a long time. Now I was starting to wonder whether it wasn't best to just keep things that way but the more I thought about it, the clearer it became that there was no way to turn back. The nightmares I was experiencing were brought on by my own guilt and the product of the things I'd done. I had no one to blame but myself and because of that, I felt I kinda deserved the lack of sleep.

I hit the home gym after having a cup of coffee in the kitchen and spent three hours running through my routine. Once my workout was complete, I took a shower, got dressed in a black t-shirt, jeans and black adidas and headed back to the kitchen for breakfast. I was sitting there eating a bowl of cereal when Izzy walked in, still in her pajamas.

"Alright, Jace. I wanna know what all that shit was with C yesterday. You guys barely speak outside of class, yet you got in a fight, she took off and when Jon got the text that she was back, you left like a crazy person and came back looking like a kicked puppy. What the fuck is going on?"

I didn't know how much I should say, or if I should say anything at all. Izzy and I hadn't had the best relationship over the past few years either. She was my sister so of course she was a part of my life but even though we were technically in the same social group, the only real interaction I had with her was through Jon. I needed help though and I knew Izzy would be the least likely to judge, not to mention she knew C and she was a girl. I decided to just chance it, the worst she could do was tell me to fuck off.

After internally fighting with myself for a few minutes on where to begin while she just stared at me, expecting my answer, I finally explained everything that happened in the past twenty-four hours. I had no idea what I expected her response would be after I told her about my encounters with C but even though I should've anticipated that her penchant for brutal honesty would come into play, the thought somehow never really crossed my mind.

"Oh Jace, you're a tragic idiot."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Instead of treating her like a friend or even a passing acquaintance, you treated her like a burden. Then you wait three years before you decide she's hot enough to pay attention to and when she won't sleep with you, suddenly you decide that all that history doesn't matter and you want her to go back to being your friend like none of it ever happened? How does that sound to you?" She seemed to be waiting for a response but I was feeling so guilty that I couldn't bring myself to respond. Guilt had been such a foreign feeling to me for so long that I was having a hard time dealing with the massive fucking overload I was getting now.

"Just in case your tiny boy brain can't figure it out, let me spell it out for you. It _sucks_. What the fuck are you thinking, Jace? Alec is her best friend and even though C and I aren't as close as we used to be, I could never just toss her aside. All of us tried to talk to you about her so many times and you always just walk away and act as if we'd said nothing so we finally gave up. I admit I wasn't as quick to catch on as everyone else. It took me a couple years to figure out you weren't going to listen but eventually I understood that you wouldn't discuss her or really anything with me for that matter. I never understood how you could just shut all your emotions off when it came to her, so again, I ask, what is going on in that head of yours?" I didn't really know how to respond. I was already tired of the conversation. That was exactly why I never did this. I didn't want to address my feelings. That would require not only honesty with another person, but honesty with myself. I gave up and decided to just rip that bandage off.

"What do you want me to say Iz? Do you want the truth or the lies? Because shit is getting so beyond fucked up at this point, I don't know where one starts and the other finishes. What do you wanna hear? That until the first day of summer, I hadn't given a shit about her in years, because that's pretty much true...or maybe that I took one look at her in her bikini and nearly lost my shit, because I _really_ did. Or maybe about how I've thought every single day since about sliding her panties down with my teeth and tasting her, which by the way, is an urge I've never had before, but knowing I had no chance of making it happen no matter how much I told myself the past didn't matter?...Maybe I shouldn't admit that I sat next to her in English knowing full well we'd end up being partners and having to spend the whole semester together? Or I could lie and tell you I don't know how much of an asshole I am for expecting her to forget everything that happened and just pick up where we left off 3 years ago? I know Izzy. I know how this whole thing looks," I confessed to her while admitting under my breath, 'More than you can possibly imagine'."

"Okay, first of all, you're such a guy and ewww, you're my brother, TMI. Second, I'm glad you're aware that you're a dick because I thought you'd been oblivious to the fact all this time. You cut both of us off, me as much as you could but C completely and I accepted it even though it hurt, but it was so much worse for her. So why is this so important to you now, after all this time?" I couldn't tell her the truth about that. That was too much. No one could know because if they did, if they knew what I really wanted, they'd laugh in my face. I knew I couldn't have her. I obviously couldn't be that guy which meant I definitely didn't deserve her. But even if I wasn't good enough to be with her, I still had to be around her. I couldn't go back to the way things were. I refused to.

"I don't know why but I need her back in my life. I covet, it's what I do, and that may have been what started it, I don't know but just talking to her and spending time with her just makes me want to do those things all the time, like we used to. And I know now that I was wrong about her. Not about her being hot because that's a given but...I can't explain it. There's just something different about her. And we all know I haven't had a girl who was just a friend since...well, before when C and I were friends and Alec kinda pointed out that I couldn't do it."

"JACE HERONDALE! If you're doing this just because Alec challenged you, you're an even bigger douche than I thought you w-"

I cut her off because I needed her to know how serious I was, "that's not it, Izzy. It's...fuck, I'm not explaining this right. I just want to let someone in and I just have a feeling it needs to be her. I don't know how I could have forgotten. I know C and I live in two different worlds and I've done so much fucked up shit, so much...but I just can't seem to bring myself to care enough to stop me from getting what I want. I know she's fuckin pissed at me and she has every right to be. I've been...there isn't a word strong enough to describe the incredible douche that I've been. I'm sorry Iz, I know I've treated you like shit too."

"We can talk about that later, but we will talk. What I don't get is why though. I mean yeah, she has her moments but so does everyone. She didn't deserve it from you or Jon but at least it only took Jon a year to figure out that he shouldn't have abandoned her like that and he's been torturing himself ever since, trying to make up for it. Why did it take you three years? Why do that to her? Why to me as well but mostly why to her?" she asked and it was a valid question but I wasn't ready to talk about that yet. I was worried about what that talk alone could do to me and I was worried that if I told someone else before I could explain to C, I might not be able to get the words out again.

"I think I need to save the why for her first, Iz. We'll talk, I promise but she deserves that answer before anyone else." She looked at me skeptically but acquiesced.

"You really want this? I mean, you're not just fucking around? I don't want to hear a week from now, that you're still just trying to get her to have sex with you."

"That won't happen," I said with conviction. "You don't understand. I miss her, Iz."

She stared at me for at least a full minute, searching my face for something before speaking. I caught a glimmer in her eyes and it scared the hell out of me. Combined with the smirk on her lips and her no nonsense posture, it was lethal. "I have no idea how this will work out." She seemed to think for a moment. Izzy closed her eyes, inhaled deeply through her nose and then exhaled slowly out of her mouth before opening her eyes again. "I'll try to help you though." I felt a genuine smile grace my lips. "But don't make me regret this. Maybe I can even convince Alec to help too but that's a long shot. He'll want to protect C at all costs and I'm not sure he'd agree that you're exactly good for her...Yeah, maybe we skip Alec for now, but you have to work on your behavior. Don't pretend to not be an asshole, _really_ don't be an asshole. Also, stop being a perv toward her. Obviously that hasn't been working out for you. If things," she waved around, pointing in the general area of my crotch, "start happening, just do whatever you do to get rid of it," she said as she grimaced.

"Uhh, do you understand how hard it is to hold off a boner? I've been trying that and I've been failing miserably. I've resorted to extremely cold showers and thinking about naked elderly women but even that's only so effective. Even if my brain knows I just want to be friends, my eyes still see hot chick and my body reacts accordingly."

"Why didn't you just think about a naked man? Seems like a pretty simple solution to the problem."

"I didn't want to take it that far unless I had no other options." She laughed a deep belly laugh.

"Maybe you should start out with thinking about Alec in a speedo or something. Hopefully that'll work." I thought about it for a moment a cringed when the visual popped into my head.

"Yeah, as disturbing as that is, I think that might just work." Izzy made a face and then laughed again.

"Yeah, maybe don't listen to me. Thinking about your brother in a speedo is too weird. Try choosing someone else, like Jon. I happen to know he'd look great in a speedo," she swooned.

"Seriously, Iz. And you said I was giving you too much information."

"Whatever. Don't be so dramatic. I'll work on her. I'll try to get us to hang out and then make sure to invite you. Organize things to do for the five of us, just like old times." I couldn't believe she called _me_ dramatic.

"If you do that, you'll just be with Jon the whole time and C will be hanging out with Alec."

"Hmmm...you've got a point. We'll figure something out. Maybe we can have Alec invite Magnus...no, then it might be like a threesome between them. She is kind of like their love child," she snickered. "Like I said, we'll figure something out." And I hoped for my sake she was right. "But Jace," she said in that way of hers that let me know that she was really serious, "she's not family, she's not required to forgive you like I am. Just remember that."

"I know, Iz. I know." I turned and started to leave the room.

"Oh and Jace," she called.

"Yeah," I answered, turning around.

"You aren't as good at hiding your feelings as you think." She smirked. "Be ready in thirty. We gotta go help setup for tonight." She turned and skipped out of the room, I assumed, to go get ready and to grab her outfit for the party. I had to pick my jaw up off the ground before I could even move.

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

As soon as we pulled up to Jon's, and Izzy saw the whole band was there but C wasn't with them, she disappeared inside. I walked in and met up with Jon, Mark, Bat and Jordan in the living room and helped them setup lights and speakers. We pulled out the beer pong tables, cornhole and kiddie pools, taking them to the backyard to get setup. We hauled out the outside bars and pulled out all the liquor and mixers to stock it. As we were pulling everything out, Simon and the guys were busy getting everything put together. About an hour into our prep, C came out in a hooded black satin bathrobe and walked up to the band. They shared some words before she walked up to the mic and started singing. All the guys stopped to watch her. Their was no music and she was singing slowly so at first I couldn't figure out what song it was. Then I realized I was listening to the lyrics of Foo Fighters' "My Hero" coming from her lips in her beautiful voice.

Just before the song ended, I felt a hand on my shoulder and despite not wanting to look away, my reflexes got the better of me. Izzy turned to me and leaned in to whisper in my ear, "you just want to be friends with that, brother? You're dumber than I thought," before walking back inside.

 _ **IMPORTANT**_

 **A/N: So Happy Belated Birthday to SereneCalamity! I had hoped to have this up for her birthday but the last couple days have been nuts, however this chapter is dedicated to her. Love ya babes 3**

Dress photo is up on my profile if you want to see!

 **Since y'all didn't get an April chapter due to the email notifications not working, I'll most likely be posting a second chapter this month cuz I'm cool like that.**

 **I am working on a few other stories right now and hope to be bringing at least one of them to you soon. I'm kinda jumping back and forth between writing them.**

 **Let me know what you think!**


	15. Ignorance Drowned at the End of a Bottle

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahah. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Tonight Alive - Little Lion Man***

 ***Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me***

 ***The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Impression That I Get***

 ***Less Than Jake - Plastic Cup Politics***

 ***Fall Out Boy - Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy***

 _ **A/N: Little bit longer chapter this time and the second in a month since there was no April update. I got a job that I will be starting towards the end of June and it's quite a bit more demanding than my last position so I will try to keep up with my update schedule and work on getting one of my new stories up for you guys but no promises. Please hang with me while I get settled. Thanks for the love and support and don't forget to review for a preview!**_

 _ **C POV**_

I hadn't planned on getting up there and just winging it but it felt good to just sing without practicing for something. I didn't do it often enough. I noticed Jace staring but pointedly ignored his gaze. I didn't want to fall back into that trap.

After we played one of our own songs and I made sure our sound system was perfect, I headed back up to my bedroom with Izzy to go finish getting ready for the party. Mags had just emerged from the bathroom when I made it over to my sofa. He was wearing a black, fishnet, long-sleeved shirt and red, leather skinnies with black Doc Marten boots. As soon as she noticed he was out, Izzy made her way in.

I slipped on the dress and the sexy heels I'd gotten from Mags, checking myself out in the mirror. He did my hair, curling and then brushing it into waves and then finished with some black, shimmer eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara with pink tinted lip gloss. I walked over and stood in front of the mirror looking over my reflection.

"You're a babe. The final product is amazing if I do say so myself."

"Thanks, Mags. I'm taking this off when I'm done performing. There's no way I'm letting anyone spill anything on this dress. You better get ready yourself." As soon as Mags started with his own glittery red eyeliner, Izzy walked out of the bathroom in her underwear and began to get dressed. She went for a mid thigh, royal blue, three-quarter sleeve dress with an open back and five-inch, black, platform peep toes. Mags put her hair into two French braids and then secured them into a bun at the nape of her neck. He covered her eyes in a matte light grey with black eyeliner and mascara and a nude lipstick. Izzy got up to check herself in my full-length mirror.

"Yep, I'm hot," she said, doing a full 360 degrees all while looking at her reflection. "Also, look what I brought up." She pulled a bottle of vodka out of her bag.

"Yes! Let the festivities begin, ladies." Mags grabbed the bottle, grabbed a couple of my coffee cups and poured each of us what he thought would be a shot but was really more like three. I could handle it without a problem, so I was fine with it. "To the end of SATs and best wishes to the people who have to do that shit next year," Mags toasted before we all clinked our cups together and chugged the alcohol inside.

We spent another hour in my room slowly drinking and bullshitting before we decided to make our way downstairs and join the party, of course showing up just on time to be fashionably late.

 _ **Jace POV**_

The party had been going on for about a half hour and I was about six shots and two beers deep. I was walking around talking to people from school and fending off advances from old flings that had become to clingy. I came across Jordan hanging and talking to Bat.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Can you believe how many people there are at this party that aren't even from around here? Look at that shit," Bat said, gesturing with his head.

I looked around me and noticed a lot of unfamiliar faces. Morgenstern parties weren't generally restricted but they were always filled with pretty much the same faces. Seeing the guests of this particular get together made you think we were at a bar rather than the house of my best friend and his younger sister.

"Yeah, I wonder how this many people found out about it," Jordan queried.

"Beats the fuck outta me."

"Yo, The Mortal Instruments are coming on," Bat pointed out as he started walking towards the house. We moved through the crowd, made difficult by the fact that it was packed like a club, with people. We got as close as we could to the deck where the band was getting ready to start.

She looked beautiful in a black and pink, large pinstriped dress that fit like a glove, her wavy crimson hair and killer heels. Classy but so sexy and so her. I really wished she would give me a chance to talk to her. I was determined to try again tonight. It's not like she could avoid me forever, we sat next to each other for half of the school day.

"PARTY PEOPLE, HOW Y'ALL DOIN TONIGHT?" C was met with a collective roar from the crowd.

"ARE YOU ENJOYING THE FREE BOOZE?" Another collective roar.

"GOOD. DRINK UP WHILE YOU STILL CAN, BITCHES. WE GOT SOME GOOD SHIT FOR YOU TONIGHT. ARE YOU READY?" The entire yard goes wild.

They got through the first few songs and received an amazing response. She certainly knew how to draw and keep people's attention. She suddenly walked to the side of the stage and picked up a bottle of brown liquor; my guess would've been whiskey. She chugs a few shots and then put it down before walking back to the mic to cheers.

"Thanks. Sometimes you just need a drink, right? I wrote this song yesterday after a really shitty day. It's about how sometimes, your relationships with people don't always turn out the way you expect. I'm sure y'all can relate. It's called Ignorance."

 **Ignorance**

 _(By Paramore)_

If I'm a bad person, you don't like me

Well, I guess I'll make my own way

It's a circle, a mean cycle

I can't excite you anymore

Where's your gavel? Your jury?

What's my offense this time?

You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me

Well, sentence me to another life

Don't wanna hear your sad songs

I don't wanna feel your pain

When you swear it's all my fault

'Cause you know we're not the same

No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same

Yeah, The friends who stuck together

We wrote our names in blood

But I guess you can't accept that the change is good

It's good, it's good

Well, you treat me just like another stranger

Well, it's nice to meet you, sir

I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger

Well, it's nice to meet you, sir

I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend

Ignorance is your new best friend

This is the best thing that could've happened

Any longer, and I wouldn't have made it

It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture

I'm just a person, but you can't take it

The same tricks that, that once fooled me

They won't get you anywhere

I'm not the same kid from your memory

Well, now I can fend for myself

Don't wanna hear your sad songs

I don't wanna feel your pain

When you swear it's all my fault

'Cause you know we're not the same

No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same

Yeah, we used to stick together

We wrote our names in blood

But I guess you can't accept that the change is good

It's good, it's good

Well, you treat me just like another stranger

Well, it's nice to meet you, sir

Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger

Well, it's nice to meet you, sir

Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend

Ignorance is your new best friend

Ignorance is your new best friend

Ignorance is your new best friend

Well, you treat me just like another stranger

Well, it's nice to meet you, sir

Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger

Well, it's nice to meet you, sir

I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

As she was singing, her eyes found me in the crowd. I didn't even have to know she was looking at me to know this was her getting her feelings out about what happened between us. I knew I brought all the bad shit to the surface yesterday and I deserved every single word she yelled at me. When I started this venture, I was fully aware of the fact that I probably didn't deserve another chance but I was in denial. I'm a selfish asshole and she's a good person and above all, I want her in my life. Not just as the sister of my friend but as my friend. I'm a persistent person and don't hear no very often so when I do, it just makes me that much more determined to get what I want.

"Okay, last song of the night, people. I think most of you will recognize this song. We hope you like our version." I immediately recognized it to be 'Little Lion Man' by Mumford & Sons. Their cover was sick. C's voice was amazing. The crowd cheered and screamed for them before they walked off deck.

As Mark picked the music back up and people were making their way back to the pool, beer pong and cornhole, I was moving through the ocean of bodies, trying to reach C. It was a good thing I was tall, I was able to see through the crowd pretty easily. I could see her back as I got closer and I couldn't keep my eyes from wandering down to her ass. I may have determined that all I was striving for was friends but I could still appreciate perfection when it was staring me in the face. It looked like the dress she was wearing was made for her body and I had to make a discreet adjustment before reaching her. I was about ready to say something as I walked up behind her when she spoke.

"I know you're there. I don't know why it is but I can feel you. You already know I have nothing to say to you and you can't possibly have anything worthwhile to say to me so I'm gonna make this easy on both of us and just walk away." Before I could think of anything, she'd picked up her bottle of liquor and moved into the crowd. I had no idea what to do. I had no idea how I was gonna get her to talk to me. I really needed Izzy's help but first, I needed a drink. I walked up to the bar and got a shot of Jack, grabbing another beer as well. I began walking around the party, occasionally saying hi to someone I knew.

Eventually I came across Alec who was standing at a table filled with what looked to be about ten shot glasses. He was holding a bottle of whiskey, just starting to fill the second one up, when he noticed I was standing next to him. He already looked pretty drunk and sounded it too.

"Jace. Brotha. Have a drink with me," he all but demanded as he continued to fill up the shot glasses.

"Alright," I said, picking up the first shot glass after lining my five up in a row, "what're we drinking to?" Alec held onto his shot glass and stared off with a faraway look in his eyes for a moment before answering.

"You ever just come across something so broken that no matter what you do, you never seem to be able to fix it?" Unsurprisingly, I knew the feeling.

"Y'know, Alec, until recently, I would've said no but now, I seem to know exactly the kind of situation you're talking about," I said, thinking of my dilemma with C. Alec threw back the shot, still staring off into space and I followed closely behind him.

"Well, I'm drinking to forget how fucking helpless I am because I can't stand the thought that the person that I love the most in this world needs me and there's nothing I can do to make it better. And when I try, it somehow seems to just get worse. Bottoms up," he confessed, downing the next three in quick succession. I matched him shot for shot.

"What do you mean, Alec?" He finally looked at me, studying my face for a moment before responding.

"It's nothing, Jace. It never mattered to you before, why would it matter now? And even if it did, there's nothing you can do to fix it either." He lifted his last shot to his lips and threw it back before clapping me on the shoulder. "I'm gonna go find Magnus and try to forget this night ever happened," and with those parting words, he disappeared into the crowd. I wondered what it was that he needed to fix and couldn't but realized it was pointless to speculate since it could have been anything. C wouldn't tell me if she had some kind of problem, for obvious reasons and Alec wouldn't tell me because he didn't believe I deserved to know and for the most part he was right.

I took my last shot thinking about how one wrong decision could turn into a lot of wrong decisions and how all those wrong decisions could turn your life into a giant fucking disaster that at the moment, there seemed to be no coming back from. I prayed to whatever higher power was out there that I could earn forgiveness for the wrong I had done.

 _It's gonna be pretty hard for her to forgive you if she never talks to you again...But we have classes together. She has to talk to me sometime, right?_

I needed Izzy and we really had to come up with a solid plan to make this work. I picked up the bottle of whiskey that was mostly empty and dumped the rest of it into a red solo cup before making my way over to the beer pong tables. I had to get my mind on something else for awhile, otherwise, I'd end up off my face in no time at all.

Luckily Raphael and Jordan were just setting up a new game. I grabbed Bat from a nearby conversation and asked him to be my partner. Beer pong was my game and I knew he was really good as well. Jordan was right up there with us so it all came down to our skills and whether or not Raph could actually play well.

Right after we began the game, I caught C out of the corner of my eye. She was standing at the bar, throwing back shots like she was trying to turn her body into a human distillery. She had a very high tolerance for alcohol so I had no doubt she could handle it but it was what I saw next that put an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

Some guy who looked really familiar had walked up behind her and trailed his arm around her waist before he came to stand in front of her. Her eyes got really big and she smiled up at him before pouring them each a shot.

I tried to concentrate on the game and despite glancing over there every few seconds, Bat and I were kicking major ass. We had it down to one cup in no time while there were still four on our side. It was the last shot and I was up, hoping I could make it and have the game over with so I could get a little closer to the scene I was observing from afar.

"You got this, man," Bat yelled over the noise of the spectators.

I pulled back and just before I released the ball, I saw C throw back another shot and grab the guy's hand. I turned my eyes back to the game and tossed the ball, making it into the last cup on the opposite side of the table, much to the excitement of my teammate. When I looked back over at the far bar, they were gone. I discretely looked around to see if they were in my line of vision, but they were gone. I decided to try and focus on having fun for the time being.

"Gentleman," I said, throwing my arms around both Bat and Jordan, "let's get shitfaced."

"We thought you'd never ask."

We made our way over to the far bar and I lined up four shot glasses, one for each of us, including Raph. I poured a shot for each of us.

"We need something to say...like a good toast," Jordan prodded

"Well, here's to you boys. Drinking won't solve your problems but it's worth a shot," I said raising my glass.

"Here here," said Bat.

"Cheers"

"Salud," Raphael chimed in and we clinked before we all tossed them back. We probably spent the better part of an hour just bullshitting and drinking. My thoughts kept wandering to C and where she'd gone with that random guy who looked vaguely familiar but each time the thought crept in, another shot went down at the insistence of my three brothers in all things Football. By that time we had five or six girls hanging all over us, taking shots as well.

I was feeling quite buzzed and decided it was that as much as I wanted to stand around and get drunk, I was gonna go find the little she-devil and get her to talk to me. I was tired of her not giving me a chance to talk and that had to change. Now if only I knew where to begin looking for her. I certainly had my work cut out for me. My travels eventually landed me in the basement where I was roped into drunk party games by my overly intoxicated friends. My search was temporarily put on hold.

 _ **C POV**_

I walked into the basement, dragging Aiden behind me. We'd just got done smoking a fat blunt with Matty and Eric in my room after I changed my clothes. I had a seriously good cross fade going on already but I needed it after the week I'd had.

 _ **Flashback**_

I couldn't believe it when I was standing at the bar and felt someone's hands on me. I was about ready to fuck up whoever was touching me but then realized who it was and just got excited. I needed someone to just relax and have a good time with and Aiden seemed like he could be that person.

After Jace tried to talk to me, I headed towards the bar, just trying to get away from him. I ended up spotting Aline and Helen about 100 feet in front of me in the middle of an epic makeout session. I had no idea how they managed to get in but looking around, I did notice a lot more unknown faces than normal. It was a post SAT party which meant there were probably people in attendance from all the major high schools in the surrounding area. We may not have been the only ones to throw a party but they were legendary and if you had a way to get in, you came. I could have kicked Aline and Helen out. The last thing I really wanted to see was two of my exes, happy and making out at one of my parties but as soon as I had that thought, it quickly passed. I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of getting to me. It was still my night and I wasn't going to let them ruin it. It was however another reason I now needed alcohol in my body and quick.

I continued toward the bar and nearly made it there before the last person I expected to have a confrontation with grabbed me out of nowhere and pulled me off to a dark corner.

"Shit, Alec, you're hurting me."

"What the fuck are these?" He asked, gesturing up and down my inner arm with a anger clouding his face. I looked down at the wrist he was holding and for the first time realized that I'd done nothing to cover up the red lines or razor burn caused by my relapse the day before. The first time in forever that I'd forgotten to make sure that my wrist were hidden and of all the days to let that happen. I didn't know whether Alec had seen the scars or whether Mags told him about them. For the most part, it didn't really matter. I just stood there blankly, not really knowing how to respond to an angry Alec, especially when that anger was directed at me.

"I thought we got rid of all of them. We combed your room and got rid of them all. How? Why?" I watched his anger cloud with confusion, then sadness.

"You guys did get rid of all of them, except one. I kept one just in case I needed it."

"Why the fuck are you still doing this to yourself?" I looked down, not knowing how to respond. I didn't know how I could explain to someone who'd never cut. To dull the pain? To make me feel? To keep the tears from spilling? To stop the feelings of inadequacy? To keep control? Even though all those things were true, I didn't think it'd be enough of a reason to make him understand. At the time that Alec and Jon first found out about my cutting, they never asked me why. I think they were too worried about my mental state, fuck, I was worried about my mental state. Which made me all too happy to avoid questions such as those, but actually putting into words that even after therapy and all of the good things that had happened in my life since my brother, Jace and Sebastian, I still had issues with self worth and anger, well that felt like too fuckin much to handle. I decided to just stay quiet.

"Don't you understand? Don't you know what you fucking mean to Jon? Don't you know what you mean to me? This shit kills me," he said, waiving my arm around with tears in his eyes. "I love you, C. I can't watch you do this to yourself again." I pulled my arm out of Alec's grip and threw both of them around his neck, pulling him in for a big hug.

Alec wasn't an emotional guy. He barely showed how he felt for anyone except with me, Mags and Max. I felt horrible that I was doing this to him again. He still broke into my room in the middle of the night to make sure I was breathing for fuck's sake. All of the sudden, it was just too much. I realized I'd fucked up right after I did it but at the time, it was a desperate act. I just needed to relieve the pressure. Now the guilt was crushing and I needed to get out. I released Alec from my hold. I was starting to hyperventilate.

"Alec, I love you but I need to go. I-I can't give you the answers you want and this is just too much. I can't do this right now." Alec looked at me pleadingly but nodded his head and I moved as fast as I could to the bar. There was one kind of alcohol I drank when I needed to forget but there were too many people I didn't know and it was it was too early to disappear to my room for the night. I jumped up on the bar and pulled out a bottle of Jack. Crown Royal was my go to since I wasn't as big of a fan of sour mash but whiskey was whiskey. I had just downed my first shot when Aiden made himself known and he had turned out to be a lot of fun so far.

 _ **End Flashback**_

I saw Jace staring at mine and Aiden's hands held together but pointedly ignored it. Jace had no right to dictate who I did or didn't hang out with. I looked over to Jon to see if I was getting the same reaction but there was only a curious expression where I assumed a scowl would be present. I guess seeing his sister holding a guy's hand was a weird experience for Jon. I was getting a very shocked look from Raphael and Meliorn but that's probably because they never really thought I was into guys despite both of them claiming at one point or another, that they could 'turn me'.

"What are you guys doing? I feel like we walked in on a cult meeting or something." I heard Aiden snort next to me.

"We're about ready to play truth or dare. Care to join us, C?" Raphael asked, wiggling his eyebrows. "I suppose your friend can join too." I turned to look at Aiden, still feeling Jace's hard gaze.

"What do you think, Aiden? You down to play?"

"I'm game if you are," he said, winking at me. I was pretty immune to the charms of men but Aiden was a bit hard to resist with his luminous gray eyes and cute smile.

"Okay, we're in. Let's do this shit." Aiden and I sat down on a love seat across from three chairs that were occupied by Jace, Izzy and Jon.

"First things first. Hand over your phones. Everything that happens here stays here. No recording devices allowed." He held out a basket that looked to contain everyone else's phones already. I was grateful that at least none of what went on would get out. "This'll be the most extreme game of truth or dare you've ever played. Are you sure you wanna play?" Jordan asked.

"What's so extreme about it? You'll have to forgive me guys, I haven't played this game since like the 7th grade. I thought only middle schoolers were interested in being made to tell everyone who they have a crush on."

"Oh you think this game's for middle schoolers, huh?"

"I guess we'll see." I taunted.

"Oh we certainly will," he challenged. "These are the rules of extreme truth or dare. If you pick truth, you have to take a shot before you give your answer. If you decide not to answer, you have to take two shots and remove a piece of clothing, shoes and socks don't count. If you pick dare, you can drink but you don't have to. However, if you choose not to do the dare, you have to take two shots and then you'll get a second dare. You have to do the second one, so choose wisely. Everyone got it?" There was a collective murmur of 'yeahs' from everyone around the room. It was going to be a little weird playing this game with my brother but at least Alec and Mags were otherwise occupied with each other's mouths on the couch in the living room. Aiden and I'd passed them on the way downstairs. Either way, I was sincerely glad that I'd changed out of my dress and put on skinny jeans, a strapless corset and a black zip up hoodie so at least if I had to remove clothing, I had more to take off.

"So who goes first," Izzy asked.

"My game, my rules, my turn first," replied Jordan. "Izzy, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to give Meliorn a hickey." Jon's growl may not have been heard by everyone but I knew it was heard by at least the four of us, if not Maia and Bat as well, since they were sitting rather close. That was why it was a bad idea for people in relationships or within families to play these types of games together. You always ended up seeing more than you wanted to see or hearing things you didn't wanna hear.

Izzy looked at Jon and shrugged before she got up and started sucking on Meliorn's neck until it was easy to see a large purple mark. He smiled, triumphantly at Jon as Jon glared in return. It was Izzy's turn to go.

"C, truth or dare?"

"Might as well pick dare, no way I wanna spill all my secrets to you fuckers."

"I dare you to give Aiden a lap dance." I looked at Aiden and he had a total shit-eating grin on his face. I turned to see the look on Jon's face and he looked like steam was about to come out of his ears. Jace was even worse. Izzy grabbed Jon's arm as if trying to calm him down but she seemed to be trying to hold in her smile when looking over at Jace.

"Alright," I said, taking off my hoodie and leaving it on the love seat.

The music was loud enough due to a speaker we had hooked up down there that I didn't need any other soundtrack to shake my ass to. Izzy just grabbed the remote controlling the volume and turned it up. I stood up and moved in front of Aiden, grabbing his hand and a bottle of rum from the table next to where we were sitting. I put the bottle to my lips and downed maybe the equivalent of four or five shots, waiting for the next song to come on, hoping it was one I could dance to. They'd been playing a good mix of 2000s hip hop and rock for the past hour or so. Jordan had set up a folding chair in the middle of the room so I led Aiden over and urged him to sit. I looked down at Aiden, trying to get over my nerves. While he seemed nice and he was definitely hot, I hadn't known him that long and I had no reason to completely trust him. Straight men besides my brother were not something I fucked around with. Besides Simon and the guys in the band, I didn't have much personal contact. Shit, Bat had been coming around for years and I'd just started getting comfortable with him.

I set the bottle back on the table just as the next song started and was happy to hear that it was something decent to dance to, 'Freak-A-Leak' by Peter Pablo. I immediately walked back to Aiden and began to circle him slowly, gliding my fingers across his neck and shoulders. When I got back in front of him, I stood with my back to him as I moved my hands up my body to my hair and started shaking my hips. I moved my hands back down my body and dropped to the ground before popping a couple times as I slowly made my way back up, making sure to rub my ass against his crotch on the way. I turned around and dropped in front of him again, except facing him this time and spread his legs further, rubbing my hands up his thighs as I slithered my way up between them. I could tell from how close my face was that he was getting hard. I straddled his leg and began working my body to the flow of the music. Still working my hips, I ground all the way around on him until my ass was back up against his crotch and continued to grind. Eventually, I made it all the way back around again and climbed on his lap, rolling my hips and grinding my body over his while roaming my hands everywhere I could tell he wanted to. My breasts were in his face and I could definitely feel his erect cock rubbing against my most sensitive area. I knew I needed to stop before it could get out of hand but just when the song ended and I was about to get up, I felt Aiden's hands go to my ass, holding me against him. I immediately started to feel uncomfortable and looked down at him only to see a smirk gracing his lips and him looking at something across the room. I followed his gaze and it was obvious it was meant for Jace who had a murderous look on his face.

"I think that's enough of that shit," Jace said, suddenly pulling me off of Aiden.

"Don't fucking touch me," I sneered so only he could hear me as I ripped my arm out of Jace's grip and went back to sit on the love seat, not wanting to be treated like a rag doll. I should've been more pissed at Aiden for using me to get to him but I was still so pissed at Jace that it overshadowed any anger I could feel toward him.

"Damn, C. I think you gave every guy in the room, besides your brother, a chub," Raphael said, adjusting himself. Death glares came from both Jon and Jace and he shrunk into himself. I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes at Jace as he looked at me with some unknown emotion. How dare he act like he owned me. I didn't need his protection. We weren't even friends. I turned my attention back to the game. I didn't want to ruin the party for myself and despite the bullshit that had just gone on, I was having a pretty good time.

"Alright, alright, my turn. Jon, truth or dare?"

"Truth," he said, poring himself a shot and knocking it back.

"What are your plans for the future, as they relate to Izzy?"

"I want everything with her. Marriage, kids, all of it," he said, smiling over at her. She immediately locked her lips with his. They kissed for a minute before coming back to reality, noticing everyone was waiting on them.

"Okay, Bat. Truth or dare?"

"Truth." He pored and took his shot.

"How many girls have you slept with besides Maia?" He glanced at her and hesitated but finally decided to answer.

"4." She seemed pissed but I couldn't believe that they'd never had that discussion in their relationship before now. It made me wonder how good things actually were between them. They'd been together a few months longer than Jon and Izzy but were never really friends before that, according to Bat.

"Raph, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to make out with Meliorn, and we'll actually time you. Let's say...60 seconds?"

"Fuck that shit bro, hand me that bottle. Next dare," he said before taking his shots.

"Alright, man. You're really gonna regret this. I dare you to have a shot contest with C. Whoever pukes first loses. The loser owes the winner a favor of their choosing."

"You think that's gonna be hard. Look at her. She may have a fantastic ass and a nice rack but she's tiny. There's no way she'll outlast me." Once again, another fucker underestimating me.

"Alright Raphael, since you think you got this, I'll let you pick your poison." I walked to the liquor cabinet we had in the basement. "Let's see...we of course have rum, which you already knew. We've got three different kinds of whiskey, although if you think you can outdrink me and plan on getting laid still tonight, I don't recommend it. We also have Vodka, Jäger, Brandy and some Hennessy.

"Let's go with the vodka." Bat suggested we line up ten shot glasses each but I argued and said we should go for fifteen since I knew it'd take me a lot of alcohol to puke, if it happened at all. For the first time since the dare, Raphael looked scared. A bucket was set by each of us so that we could immediately hurl if we needed to.

"Alright y'all. Take the shots one right after the other. Keep going until one of you either taps out or throws up. Ready...Go." We began chugging shots with everyone rooting us on. He ended up puking on shot number eight. I got up to twelve by the time I realized he was done for. My inhibitions were definitely lowered for the night. I was feeling pretty lit.

The game went on for awhile. Obviously, Raphael was out after puking. He passed out curled up in the corner of the room and stayed that way for the rest of our game. A few more people came and joined; a couple girls from the soccer team, a guy from the basketball team and two kids from mine and Bat's art class. Jace and Jon ended up having to make out which was quite the sight. It would have been pretty hot if it wasn't my brother and my mortal enemy. Maia had to undress Jace with just her teeth. She failed miserably. Jordan and Aiden took body shots off of Maia and Isabelle. Mikhail from our art class ended up playing '7 Minutes in Heaven' with Kendra from the soccer team and when they'd been in there for awhile, Meliorn went to check on them. Once he realized they were having sex in the closet, he came back over and sat down. Jon was dared to give Maia hickeys on the insides of her thighs. Meliorn had to play 'Are You Nervous?' with Anastasia from art class and got hardly anywhere, I'm assuming because he's a creep and made her uncomfortable.

At one point, I got dared to give Izzy and orgasm without removing her clothes. I took full advantage of that opportunity and had Izzy falling apart in minutes and without barely even touching her pussy. At first Jon seemed really uncomfortable with the idea but I honestly just tried not to look at him or anyone else while I was pleasuring his girlfriend. It was pretty erotic and made me feel like such and exhibitionist making her cum in front of all those people. If I'd been sober, it might have made me self conscious that it was in public but I was feeling really good and the fact that her cheeks were flushed, she was breathing hard and I could smell her arousal were all driving me nuts. I didn't look up as I got up and made my way back to my seat but I heard a lot of heavy breathing from around the room. After that, it went on for a few more rounds before finally coming back to my turn. By that time, everyone had answered some very embarrassing questions, some people were half naked and almost all of us were drunk.

"Okay, C. Truth or Dare?" Izzy asked. It seemed like every chance she got, she chose me. I was already sitting in Jace's lap in just my corset, thong and heels and had been for the last thirty or so minutes. He was down to just his jeans. His hands were grasped around my hips and his fingers kept tightening every time I moved. I could feel he had a hard on but chose to ignore it since I couldn't get off his lap for the rest of the game.

"Dare, yo."

"I dare you to make out with Bat...and if it doesn't look like you two are about ready to fuck each other, you have to do it again." I looked at Jon again for the Angel knew what reason and recognized that familiar look of anger and illness that seemed to get worse as the game went on. I vowed to myself to try not to play with him again. It was too much for him to handle obviously and even though I was old enough to make my own decisions, I wasn't into torturing my own flesh and blood.

"Let's do this. Bat, come here. I'd rather not do this next to your jealous ass girlfriend." She shot me a dirty look. It was no secret that Maia wasn't that fond of me. I wasn't sure what I did to incur her wrath but it didn't seem like we were gonna become buds any time soon and I was cool with that. I still had trust issues to work out with the friends I already had and I was pretty sure there was no chance in this lifetime that I'd ever trust Maia. She was one of the people who spread a lot of rumors about me when she became a cheerleader and realized Jace and Jon weren't really on speaking terms with me and I was already an outcast. When Jon and I became cool again, it stopped as far as I knew.

The other thing was, as a rule, Punks just didn't hang with Preps. Obviously in my situation it was different since my brother was the Captain of the football team and my best friend played as well but Alec didn't really spend time with them and regardless, not all of them were cool with the social hierarchy being out of order. Maia was one of those people which was kind of ironic since her boyfriend was kind of on the punk side but their relationship never really made sense to me. Anyway, she didn't have much say in the matter since I had Jon and I guess Izzy and Bat as friends.

I stood up from Jace's lap and reached out towards him. At first Jace didn't seem to want to let go of my hips. I quickly realized when he groaned, that it was because of the friction I was causing to his very erect member when I slid forward on his lap. I finally got out of his grip and pulled Bat up and led him to sit down. Normally doing this would have made me very nervous but the alcohol had definitely lowered my inhibitions quite a bit and I kinda wanted to piss Maia off just for the hell of it. I'd probably never get a free pass to do so again.

I climbed on his lap on the love seat next to Aiden, wrapping my my arms around his neck and straddling his hips.

"Ready to do this?" He smiled at me.

"Ready as ever." I wasn't sure how to take that so I just didn't say anything. I moved my mouth down to his and covered his lips with mine. The kiss was a bit tentative at first as we familiarized ourselves with each other. Then the kiss deepened. His lips were so soft but his mouth was pressed hard against mine. His hands covered the small of my back, pressing me into him as if he was trying to get us closer. My hands immediately crept up his biceps, over his tattoos and ventured into his dark brown locks, gripping tightly. He opened his mouth and groaned and I took the opportunity to stick my tongue in his mouth. I explored all around his teeth and stroked his tongue back and forth, his meeting mine in turn, tasting the alcohol that each of us had consumed. I sucked on his lower lip and then bit it pulling away. We locked irises and I saw the lust hidden in the depths of his dark brown eyes. There was control in that look too and it made me trust him that much more. I attacked his mouth like it was the only source of water in the desert. We were all tongues and teeth, our kisses becoming vicious. I started rocking my hips over his already hard cock as he began bucking his hips into me. Bat's hands drifted down and grabbed my ass, squeezing it tightly. We were both breathing heavily, basically dry humping each other while everyone watched. I could feel holes being burnt into my back but I didn't care. I was gonna make the most of the controlled environment. Finally, I pulled away, figuring we gave them enough of a show.

I looked at Bat and he wore a barely concealed surprised but semi-satisfied expression filled with leftover traces of lust. Standing up, I glanced over at Maia and she looked like she was about ready to blow a gasket. I turned my attention back to Isabelle, blocking out the angry faces of my brother and Jace.

"Was that good for you, Iz?"

"That was perfect," she agreed, winking at me as I went and sat back down on Jace's lap, grabbing a bottle on the way and chugging a few shots before setting it down again.

I must have been spacing off because next thing I knew, I'd been lifted from Jace's lap and was standing on my feet in front of him with his hands still gripping my waist as if he was trying to keep his grasp. I tilted my head up and was met with a smiling Aiden.

"Hey, C. Do you wanna get outta here? I'm pretty done with this game and thought we could do something else for awhile." I smiled and was about to answer when I felt Jace stand behind me and he took the initiative.

"Good idea. Maybe we can all do something else. Anyone up for beer pong?"

"He was talking to me, Jace," I seethed. I turned back to Aiden and said, "Let's see if we can find something fun to do, just us." I pried Jace's hands from my waist and began looking for my pants and hoodie. I slipped them both on quickly before Jace grabbed my wrist and turned me around.

"Whathefuck are you doing, C? You can't go off alone with the guy, you barely know him. Fuck, no one here's even seen im before."

"First, I am a grown ass woman and I do what the fuck I want with whom ever I want. Second, you have seen him before. He delivered Chinese food to us like a month ago when we were drinking and playing Rock Band." I ripped my wrist out of his grasp and began to walk away as I heard him mutter something that sounded like 'that fucker' under his breath. He reached back out for my arm and grabbed it again, pulling me close and looking me in the eye.

"I don care if you're a 'grown ass woman', he's a stranger and you're not going anywhere with him. ARE YOU STUPID? HE DOESN'T WANT TO HANG OUT. HE JUST WANTS IN YOUR PANTS." The expression on Aiden's face spelled pissed. I noticed everyone was looking at us and I just wanted out of the situation. I was pretty wasted but thank the Angel my brother was worse off than me. I sincerely hoped he didn't remember our little confrontation in the morning.

I wasn't sure whether I was more angry or hurt by the fact that Jace had literally just told me he wanted to be my friend but then made it seem like someone else couldn't be interested in me for more than just sex, which was hilarious really since he wanted the same thing from me himself not more than a few weeks ago. I wrestled myself out of his grasp once more.

"You know, for someone who claims to want me around for something other than just sex, you sure know how to make a girl feel like that's all she's good for." He recoiled. I grabbed Aiden's hand and began to pull him with me. "Come on, Aiden. Let's go find some fun. I'm not a huge fan of hanging out with people who treat me like nothing more than a blow up doll," and without another glance, I led Aiden up the stairs and out into the masses, to forget Jace Herondale ever existed and ready to party the rest of the night away.


	16. How Did I Get Here?

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Lit - My Own Worst Enemy***

 ***Goldfinger - Spokesman***

 ***Anti-Flag - This Is The End(For You My Friend)***

 ***Lagwagon - Razor Burn***

 ***The Flatliners - Resuscitation of the Year***

 **Important A/N. Please Read:** _A lot of you keep asking in your reviews when Clace is going to happen. I'd like to point out that at no point in time have I ever described this as a Clace story. This is a C and Jace story. It's a story about two people finding themselves. That doesn't mean they won't be together in the end but you'll have to hang in there with me until the then. The other thing is, right now, they aren't good for each other and you'll get more on that from Jace this chapter. So when all is said and done, maybe you'll get the Clace you're expecting, maybe you won't but the story is going to start picking up soon so be prepared._

 _ **OUTFITS FROM THIS CHAPTER ARE UP ON MY PROFILE. ENJOY!**_

 _ **Jace POV**_

I came back to consciousness to the sound of a door slamming. My head was pounding and it was the last thing I wanted to hear at whatever time in the morning it was. My body and my lip were also killing me but I was used to that feeling, usually after a particularly rough football game so it was pain I could handle. I could feel something weighing down my body but my mind wasn't quite awake yet to be able to figure out what was causing the heaviness. I attempted to slip back into sleep but the shrill voice that echoed through the room made that impossible.

"All right skanks, get the fuck up." The heaviness was suddenly removed and I heard cries of protest coming from what sounded like two different sources. I pried my eyes open a crack and witnessed Izzy ushering two naked females, neither of which I recognized, out the door, clothes in hand, both protesting at the abruptness of the removal. I closed my eyes again and rolled over onto my stomach, determined to ignore the situation and go back to sleep. I felt a slap on the back of my head and then weight on the bed next to me. I whipped around quickly.

"Fuck. That hurt, Iz. What the hell? I have a hangover."

"Yeah. I fucking bet you do. I would've brought you some of the Light but honestly, I don't feel like you deserve it after what you did last night."

"I don't exactly remember much of anything from last night, Iz." She handed me her phone that was already open to YouTube. The title of the video was 'Morgenstern Party Fight.' I pushed play and watched a video of myself literally kicking the shit out of Aiden. He is a tough guy so he looked like he was decently holding his own but was trying not to hit me if he could help it.

"Fuck, Iz. Why…What happened?"

"You're an idiot, that's what happened."

"Yeah, I'm kinda getting that from the video but why was I fighting with Aiden?"

"I'm glad you're coherent enough to ask the right questions. As far as I could tell, he was just dancing with C. You spent about ten minutes watching them and all the sudden you stomped over there, pulled him away from her and started yelling at him for touching her. Then you pretty much just hauled off and decked him in the face. At first he was just trying to get you off of him, as you can tell by the video but when he realized you weren't gonna stop, he started fighting back. It took multiple people to pull you off of him. By the way, how are you feeling?"

"Sore but not so bad that I can't take it. Shit, I can't believe I did that. I don't remember at all."

"Not surprising. You were decently drunk before it happened. Afterwards, you grabbed a bottle of JD and just started chugging. You even did a twenty-three second keg stand. The worst of it though, besides kicking the shit out of a guy who was only dancing with a girl who doesn't belong to you, was that after C and I got Aiden fixed up, you then proceeded to make a show of hooking up with Heather and Megan right in front of her. Sooo not only did you beat up her FRIEND for doing nothing but dancing with her but then your jealous ass then rubs it in her face that you were planning to have a threesome with two of the sluttiest girls at school besides Kaelie and Seelie. I'm sure she wants a whole lot to do with you right now."

"By the Angel, I really screwed this up. She's not gonna want to talk to me at all now, let alone be my friend."

"Yeah, Let's just keep pretending that's what you actually want from her and you know, she can keep being in denial too. That's super healthy for everyone involved."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Iz."

"I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knows what I'm talking about. She looked murderous last night when you were essentially undressing those girls in front of everyone. She may not know it yet but she _will_ forgive you and she _will_ eventually fall for you, just like you've fallen for her. I don't care what you say. I know you have some kind of feelings for her."

"I don't wanna talk about this, Iz. You know what I want but it doesn't really matter since I can't seem to do anything right."

"Fine but I'm gonna do you a favor. I'm gonna go have a little chat with our friend, C. Try to get her to give you a chance because besides the fact that you're a dickass, you're a better guy than most people give you credit for and I see the progress you've made this year already."

"Thanks, Iz. That means a lot. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to talk to me right now. It's probably better if you leave it alone."

"We'll see." She said before getting up and leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

I had a bad feeling about whatever was about to go down but I powerless to do anything about it. Izzy was a force to be reckoned with and once she got an idea in her head, there was no stopping her. I only hoped she didn't make the situation worse.

 _ **C POV**_

I felt someone shaking me and heard my name. I could tell it was a female but I couldn't quite make out who in my semi drunken haze. Then I cracked open an eyelid long enough to see that it was Izzy before pulling the covers over my head and burying myself further into my bed. The covers were ripped off of me moments later. I cracked my eyes again, sending a glare in her direction.

"Get. Out." I snatched the blanket back and tunneled in once again only to have the entire thing ripped off the bed. I looked at the clock, noticing it was only eight o'clock. I'd stumbled into bed four hours before and I was still just a bit drunk.

"Ugh. What the hell do you want Izzy? It's too early for this shit." I scowled at her, waiting for her to speak so she could hurry up and leave my sanctuary.

"Please just hear me out. I wanted to talk to you about Jace," she pleaded timidly.

"Fuck you, that's the last thing I wanna talk about and you know it. After last night, I couldn't give a shit if I ever saw him again. I really wish he'd just leave me the hell alone and that's how I feel about you right now too." She ignored my dig and continued to beg.

"C, I know he was stupid last night but h-"

"I don't want to do this Iz. There's nothing that you could tell me that'll change what happened. I've known him just as long as you have. The only difference is I got to see what the real Jace is like. He's a sad, insecure, arrogant, self-serving, douche bag fuckboi and I don't need that shit in my life. You know the funny thing is, for a brief moment there, I considered possibly allowing him back into my life. Then he decided to do an _absolutely_ fabulous job of reminding me of the reasons I don't want him in it.

"C, I know he's a fuck up but he's working on being a better person. He wants to make an effort with you and I'm not sure when the last time was that he put effort into anything besides school or football."

"I can't believe you're even asking this of me. He had years to make it right. Years to even just stop treating me like a leper. He didn't even have to be my friend. But even that was too much to ask and obviously he's no different now. He's not showing me someone whose grown from the person who I've come to know since he started high school."

"I know he hurt you. Believe me, I know. He hurt me too, but you should give him another chance. Despite what you think, he's not the same person he was before. He's trying and he really cares about you."

"And how long before he decides he doesn't, Iz? How long before I become dispensable again?"

"That won't happen. He knows how wrong he was. And he wants to make it right, he just doesn't kn-"

"Izzy, I really don't want to deal with this right now. However, I find it pretty ridiculous that he needs you to fight his battles for him. But tell you what, since you came in here and woke me up just to talk about the person that matters the least in the world to me right now, I'll give you some insight. When he makes himself worthy of my forgiveness, that's when he'll get it. Now I mean this with lots of love when I say, kindly get the fuck out." I guided her towards the door and shut it in her face, locking it immediately. Not only was Jace acting possessive last night but he followed me almost everywhere and then proceeded to get into a fight with Aiden for no reason. It took Jon, Bat and two other guys to get them apart. I glanced at the clock again, noting it was almost a quarter after eight.

 _Fuck, it's not even 8:30am yet and I already can't deal with this day. I need to get the fuck out of here_

I took the quickest shower I could and after throwing my hair into a messy bun and putting on some eyeliner and mascara, I was completely dressed in plaid pants, a black cami and a long sleeve mesh shirt, making me ready to leave by eight forty-five. I grabbed a black hoodie and my bag as I exited my room and locked the door. Hearing voices coming from the kitchen, I did my best to be totally silent. I didn't wanna have another conversation with Izzy and I certainly wasn't gonna jump for joy at the prospect of seeing Jace. I couldn't deal with Alec because I was pretty sure he was angry at me…and if he was upset, Mags would most likely be irritated at me for making him that way. I just needed to get away from everything and everybody for a while so I picked up my skateboard and walked out the door, shutting it quietly behind me.

There were really only two places I could go at that early hour on a Sunday. One was Taki's, which was open early no matter what day of the week it was and the other was the gym. I didn't think Joe would be there yet but I was one of the few people who knew where the spare key was. Joe told me he always wanted me to have a safe place to go, just in case. I knew that if I went to Taki's, Phyl would expect me to spill my guts…and I probably would. She made it too easy to talk to her and that was great for when you needed to get stuff off your chest but what I didn't wanna do was paint a negative picture of Jace for her.

No matter how much I couldn't stand to be in the same room with him, Phyl loved all of us and I wasn't about to put her in the middle of our conflict just to be told the same shit that was probably already going around in my head anyway. No, the better choice was to make my way to my sanctuary. Joe wouldn't make me talk and he was perfectly fine just chillin in silence if that's what I wanted but I also knew he'd listen if I really needed to talk about what was bothering me.

I skated quickly and ended up in the locker room in no time at all. I changed into my sports bra and shorts, taping up my hands as I walked out and took my stance in front of the bag.

 _ **Jace POV**_

After Izzy told me what happened when she tried to talk to C, I had to get out of that house. I got dressed and left without saying a word to anyone and just drove. Somehow I ended up at the place I needed to be without knowing it.

I walked into Taki's and grabbed the booth towards the back right corner that I always sat in when I came in by myself. I didn't intend to eat anything but Taki's was kind of like home away from…well, homes really. Phyl and Roy were kind of like surrogate parents for us since ours weren't around that much. I felt like I needed a mother to talk me through my current crisis. It didn't take long for Phyl to notice me.

"Hello, Jace. Can I get you breakfast?"

"No, I'm not really here for that."

"I figured considering the look on your face but I thought I'd ask in case you wanted some breakfast to go along with your advice. Might taste better with some salt and sugar on it since you're getting both today. Let's hear it."

I told her what I could about what had been going on. I told her about the night before and how I acted like a caveman claiming his territory even though I really had no rights or claims to anything. She stayed quiet the whole time, listening intently to me list off my infractions one by one. When I was finally done, she continued being silent for a moment as if thinking how to word what she needed to say.

"I've known you both for almost your whole lives…and it's been years since you've been friendly with each other. You almost always come in separately. When you do end up sitting at the same table, it's always with Jonathan. You don't look at each other and you don't speak. I never did find out what happened between you two but it's obvious that something did. I know Clarissa and she wouldn't avoid someone or treat them badly for no reason. You, while I love ya, kid and you have many amazing qualities, kindness isn't exactly one of them."

" _Thanks_ , Phyl," I gritted out, sarcastically.

"Hey, I told you that you were getting sugar _and_ salt today, kid so listen up. Sometimes people need the truth and I have a feeling today is one of those days for you." I didn't say anything to that because I wasn't sure what I needed at that exact moment. I mean according to Izzy, I'd been a total dickass, whatever that meant. The last thing I really remembered clearly was C sitting on my lap, wearing practically nothing and me, trying to not pop wood and failing miserably.

 _Angel, she's fucking gorgeous_

I shook my head, bringing myself back to the conversation when I heard Phyl speak again.

"Look, Jace…what is it you want from her? I know what Izzy thinks you want but what is it _you_ actually want? You better decide soon because the way I see it, you can't say you only want to be her friend and then get angry at her for hanging out with another boy; that's not fair to her and you'll only continue to push her away. But it's also not fair to you, if you really care about her like I think you might, to give her up. If you think she might be someone special that you could actually see as being more than a quick fuck out back, behind the crates and junk out there then you can't let that go, even if you're scared."

My mouth dropped open and I gave her an incredulous look that quickly blended with a hint of curiosity. I wasn't sure if it was a lucky guess or she had knowledge of said activities.

"Don't look so shocked, kid. It's New York. We have cameras. It doesn't take Einstein to figure out why." I had the decency to look embarrassed as she straight up belly laughed. "Don't worry, as soon as Roy realized what was going on, he shut it off but he had to tell me about it. You know how he loves to tell stories," she said, winking.

I didn't think I'd ever been that embarrassed in my life. While Phyl was very cool, she was still like my grandmother and even though we talked about sex like it was no big deal, it was something else completely for her to catch me doing it, even on camera. I decided to steer the conversation back to the original topic to avoid dwelling on my surprise participation in some shitty, hopefully never to be seen again and already deleted, B-rated porn video.

Her question had an out loud answer and a buried-deep-within-the-depths-of-my-soul answer. The out loud answer was the size of a rock that anyone could find on the ground while traveling the roads of this earth. Weighing me down and hardening me simultaneously. The depths-of-my-soul answer was the size of the sun, brightening everything in it's path and warming me from the inside out. But somehow I had to bury the sun, bury it deep. Keep that answer deep within the depths of my soul even if it was the reason I wanted to get up in the morning.

"My intention is to just be her friend, Phyl. There are a lot of reasons why that's the way it has to be but the biggest are one, that she won't even consider it because of the way I've treated her in the past, which I don't blame her for by the way. I pushed her out of my life and hurt her so much, not even caring that I was doing it. I can't get into what happened right now because I only know my side and I don't want to paint the wrong picture in your head when she should be able to give her side too. We both know I have no art skills anyway." I half smiled and she laughed lightly.

"That you don't, kid. That you don't."

"I know what I need to do and I did quit the hook ups which was part of it, but seriously, if last night was any indication, it doesn't take long before I fuck up. There are things no one knows about me that I don't wanna get into. I'm broken and I don't know whether I can be fixed and I don't wanna drag her into my shit. That's what's really not fair to her. I'm going off to college next year and I'm planning to apply Single Choice Early Action to Yale. It means I could know what college I'm going to by December. I need to grow up, Phyl. I need to fix myself. I have the body of a 20 year old with the mind of a 14 year old. I'm still a fuckin child. C's not like that. She may have her own issues but she's an adult. As she's told me quite a few times, I'm emotionally immature, even I can see it now. It's amazing what someone can learn from taking a few psychology classes. Anyway, I'm gonna fuck up, not just with the girls but everywhere, probably over and over. She already doesn't trust me and when I get her trust, If I get it, I'm just gonna end up breaking it again. I don't want her to feel that. I can't let her down again and have her go back to hating me. Right now, she's seriously not happy with me but before the last couple days, I think we were making progress. We were talking and it wasn't that hard. I think I can be her friend. That way if I screw up in my usual way, It won't hurt her as bad. I'm not sure what changed but I was just around her so much more this summer and I realized I knew nothing about her anymore…and the more I learn and spend time around her, the more I realize I never wanna go back to not knowing her. I can't. She's…fuego. She's fire. And she's already consuming me." I was out of breath by the time I got out everything I wanted to say. I had never unleashed that much on anyone before. Even the talk I had with Izzy wasn't that open and honest.

"Jace, you're right. I don't know Clarissa's side of the story. I hope one day she'll tell me. It sounds like you were pretty awful to her and she has a right to feel however she wants to feel about that. I can't blame her because trust, once broken is a hard thing to earn back. It sounds like it'll take a lot of work to win her over even just to become her friend. You are worth it though. If you think you can put in the necessary effort to become and remain her friend, then I say go for it. But keep in mind that she may not want that. I'm not trying to discourage you. It's just some people carry their hurt too deep to let it go so easily. If you really want this, don't half-ass it. Don't give up when it gets too hard. And it will be hard. If she does decide to forgive you, she's still not gonna make it easy on you because that's who she is and honestly, you deserve to grovel a bit. You're too damn used to what you want just falling into your lap. She's the kind of woman who won't give into you the moment you snap your fingers and that's exactly what you need in your life." She laughed as I scowled. "Also keep in mind that if you become her friend and you start to spend time with her, you may soon realize that friendship is just not enough." She winked and turned on her heels to head back to the kitchen.

I was discouraged. I already felt something more than friendship but that was out of reach, maybe forever. It was best I put that idea out of my head altogether. Friendship was my goal. But obviously, she'd be pissed after last night and the more I sat and thought about it, the more I realized I'd pretty much taken any second chance she would've given me and threw it out the window.

 _All I know how to do is fuck things up. Why would I even bother working on myself. I'll never be good enough. I guess I have nothing to live up to anymore. She'll never again give me the time of day anyway and there probably is no fixing me. I might as well make myself feel better._

I had no one to try and better myself for. I certainly wasn't ready to it for myself. I made myself outside without attracting the attention of Phyl. I had to get out of there. I had a downward spiral waiting just for me and I didn't want to be late.

 _ **C POV**_

I was so focused on my workout that I didn't notice Joe come in until he spoke.

"Hey, Stunner. How's my protege doing this morning? You look slightly pissed and quite possibly still drunk? Big party last night, right?"

"Another lucky guess. But yeah, you could say I've had better days," I said, smirking while continuing to hit the bag.

"Hmmm…and you thought it was a good idea to come and exert your body after consuming too much alcohol, most likely suffering from dehydration and lack of sleep?" I stopped beating the bag and gave him a sheepish look because I knew he was right.

"I didn't really plan this out. I just knew I had to get the hell away from my house and everyone in it and this seemed like the most logical place." I began to unwrap my hands and went to grab my water bottle, taking a long drink.

"I'll give you a pass this time but don't do shit like that to yourself." I nodded my agreement. He looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking. "If you really wanna get out of here, let's go. Let's just escape for the day. We'll go someplace where nobody knows who we are and leave everything behind." I knew I wanted what he was proposing before he even finished speaking. I needed to go somewhere where no one would come looking for me. I needed to not think about the disaster looming for me at home even if it was only for a few hours.

"You had me at 'Let's go'."

"Excellent! Let me call Mike and have him come open the gym so we can head out. You go change." I quickly rinsed off in the shower and had my clothes back on with my black, strapped high-tops in no time. Joe was just locking up his office when I joined him back in the main room. "You ready to go?"

"Hell yes! I need to get the fuck out of here, like yesterday." He laughed and led me to his restored 1970 black Chevy Nova. I slid into the seat and shut the door. The engine purred when he started her up and we were off before I could have any second thoughts about leaving town without telling anyone where I was going. I turned off my phone the second we left the parking lot and never looked back.

We were on the road for close to an hour before we stopped at some greasy diner to indulge in some mediocre food and possibly the best banana cream pie I'd ever eaten. After we were done, Joe told me I'd need a swimsuit for where he planned to take me. We found a shop not too far away from the diner and I picked out more suits than I probably needed. There were 3 black and two white that I just couldn't choose between so I ended up leaving the store with all five. I chose to put on one of the white suits with a halter neck, thick black trim and 3 square cutouts up the middle. We returned the car almost forty minutes later with stomachs that were still full and enough supplies to last us the day. It only took another twenty minutes to arrive at our destination. Joe brought me to a small beach and despite it being September in New York, the average temperature was usually in the mid to low seventies.

We laid down the towels we'd brought with us from the gym. We'd purchased some sunscreen and Joe helped me put it on. My skin was the color of a rich cream and had to be protected to keep me from burning at the slightest touch of intense sunlight. I returned the favor and covered Joe's upper body in sunscreen as well before we spread our bodies out and soaked up all the vitamin D we could handle. He was silent for a long time but when he did speak, he went right into the heavy and asked about the previous night. I explained what happened; all about the drinking, the fighting and the game of truth or dare.

"It seems like Jace is really immature. And I guess it remains to be seen how he _really_ feels about you. Do you feel like you could ever forgive him for everything he's done? I mean I don't know the whole story but, I'd personally be reluctant to be friends again with someone who basically tossed me aside and pretty much turned me into a pariah."

"Right now, no. I _don't_ feel like I can forgive him. I'm sure you've figured some things out about me over the years; things we've never actually talked about." He nodded, acknowledging that I was correct but still quietly waited for me to continue. "The things you suspect probably aren't that far off from the truth but I'm not sure you can imagine how bad it got. Maryse signed the medical paperwork but nobody knows what happened and I wanna keep it that way. I guess…it's complicated. Jace and Jon set me up to be in a situation where I ended up getting hurt. They didn't know they were doing it _but_ they didn't care enough to realize when it was happening either. There were plenty of signs right in front of them and they ignored them. I've worked through it and I think I've forgiven my brother but I still get angry about it sometimes. Mostly because I would never do to him what he did to me. I take care of him and the house. He wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't around and I was still doing everything even when he was treating me like shit. And it still took the situation coming to a head to get his attention; to realize anything was wrong I literally had to die." I can see the concern on Joe's face out of the corner of my eye but I'm more focused on breathing and trying to keep the tears that are hiding behind the rim of my eye, from falling. I didn't cry.

"Jace didn't start talking to me again until this summer and even then through the beginning of school, he's made it blatantly clear that he wants me. Now he says he doesn't want me, he just wants to be _friends_ , yet he's punching out a guy owns me or something. I don't understand what changed or why all of the sudden he wants me around but I don't really wanna dwell on it. He's done nothing but prove to me he hasn't changed and I won't waste my time on someone who I know without a doubt will hurt me again. Damn…I'm sorry. I literally just went off on a ridiculous rant about a whole lot of shit that you don't need to worry about and after you brought me out here to forget about my troubles. I apologize."

"Don't worry about it. I like it when you let me into your life." He smiled at me. Joe had a gorgeous toothy smile with the whitest teeth. "And for the record, I don't know that anything's changed in the few months since the beginning of summer but I can definitely see how someone couldn't help but be attracted to you. If you weren't my student, going off to college, I don't know that I'd be able to stay away." He winked and combined with his smirk, he looked younger than his twenty-seven year old self. I smiled back, knowing that he would never make a move on me. I stood up and reached my hand out to him.

"Come on. We've been in the sun long enough. Race you to the water. Winner chooses where we eat for dinner; loser buys. I took off toward the water but before I could get there, I felt someone scoop me up from behind and throw me over their shoulder. Next thing I knew, I was being thrown into the cold water, shivering at the initial temperature shock.

We played around for an hour or so before we came back to our towels and laid back down in the sun to dry off. After a few more minutes of silence, he turned to me.

"Where do you see yourself in ten years?" I turned to him and looked into his Hazel orbs for a moment. I didn't understand the reason for the question out of the blue but decided to answer anyway.

"Realistically, I'd love to be graduated from college with a joint degree; an (M.B.A.) and to become a Master of Architecture. I'd love to have my own firm and at least one building that I designed up somewhere, preferably in New York. Unrealistically, I'd love to sort out all my shit and be able to have a relationship with someone without pulling away when they get too close. Maybe I'd be married and have a kid or two. I'd prefer not to leave New York but if I did, I'd end up in California or Oregon. Where do you see yourself?"

"I see myself opening a couple more gyms. Maybe training a few more champs in kickboxing and MMA. I could see myself with a wife and kids, if I could stop myself from letting work and my fighters consume me," he said, lightly pushing my shoulder. "I wanna buy a house on the beach somewhere, probably back home in Cali, so I can surf whenever I want."

"Sounds like the dream."

"It would be if my friends were there to share it with me." He had the most adorable boyish grin on his face and you could see the dimple in his cheek that he only seemed to have on the right side.

"Why Joseph Anthony Steele, are you asking me to chase you across the country with nothing more than the promise of everlasting friendship?" His smile got impossibly larger.

"Maybe. You mean a lot to me and if I ever left, I'd miss you. Besides, what would I do without the best student I've ever had? I'd never want to leave you behind and the only solution is to take you with me." I held the back of my hand across my forehead while fluttering my eyelids and falling backwards over the top of him. He started tickling me and it was an all out war from there. We wrestled until I was finally able to get away, making my way back to the water. The rest of the day passed in much of the same way. A quiet day with my friend and mentor being exactly the balm I needed to soothe my tired soul.

When we left, it was around six o'clock and I was certainly reluctant to go. We stopped at a casual Italian restaurant that Joe picked for dinner about halfway back home. We both ordered the Spaghetti Mare E Monti which was spaghetti with creamy pesto, sautéed shrimp and mushrooms and drank Lemoncocco.

"So, I've kinda been avoiding the question all day and I know you have a million things to do with finding out you're headed to college a year early but I have to have an answer soon so I have to ask, are y-"

"You wanna know if I'm competing in the World Classic next year?" He nodded his assent. "Honestly, I haven't had a chance to think about it. It'd be nice to be number one in kickboxing."

"I was thinking for Muay Thai."

"I'd need to put in a lot more work in Muay Thai before I'd be ready for that. I know I'd have until July but I don't know whether I'd be able to get away from school to make it there. I don't even know if I got into college yet because applications don't really go out until November." I rushed out, throwing my hands in the air.

"I guess the better question is, do you want to compete? Because with some work, I think you could really do it. I think you could place, not just in kickboxing but in MT too this time. We could sign you up for both." I took a moment to think about what he was proposing. Training was already a lot of work. I'd gone to the World Classic last year and placed second for kickboxing in the lightweight division. Generally it wasn't a good idea to sign up for entry into both American and International divisions in case your fights ended up running at the same time or you couldn't get permission to compete in both but maybe Joe knew something I didn't or maybe he was just willing to risk it. I hoped it was the former.

If I started seriously training again, I'd have to put pretty much any art related projects that weren't for school on hold and possibly cut band practice to once every other week. I would have to take yoga two days a week, cardio and weight lifting once a week, dance once a week, ballet separately once a week and this on top of fighting and my normal but intensified routine. It meant months of eating healthy and supplements and sore muscles from the hell my body would be going through. That was a lot to devote to the cause. Of course I'd still be able to have a life somewhat, I just wouldn't have as much free time as I was used to. I worked hard though, too hard to just do nothing with it. It took a lot of work to get where I was and I was fiercely proud of what I'd become.

"Yeah, I do wanna compete. I worked tirelessly to get where I am in kickboxing and I know I can become just as good in Muay Thai if I work hard and stay focused."

"That's what I like to hear, Stunner. Let's make a plan." And so the whole ride back we were outlining my schedule, figuring who would my trainers would be for the alternative training I'd be going through and making a food and supplement plan. By the time he dropped me off outside my door, everything was settled. I was doing this. I was gonna train hard starting in January and I planned to make the World Classic my bitch. But as Joe pulled away, despite my excitement over my decision to go to battle against the top fighters in the world, I felt an impending sense of dread.

I opened the door and was immediately met with multiple eyes staring at me in anger, followed by raised voices demanding to know where I was all day and why I hadn't answered my phone. I noticed Jace sitting with everyone else but off to the side. He was the only one whose eyes weren't on me. Looking at him, I momentarily blocked out the world. His forearms were resting on his legs and his hands were clutched into fists with his head hanging down. All the sudden, he moved to thread his fingers through his hair and looked like he was tugging on it in frustration. It broke me out of my trance.

"ENOUGH!" I yelled, getting the attention of every person in the room. "I was with Joe and my phone was off because I did't want to talk to anybody." I began rubbing my forehead. This was exactly why I didn't want to come home. "Tell you what, I'm gonna go to my room and all of you can just sit there and figure out what the fuck happened in the past twenty-four hours that made it so I couldn't handle being in the same room with any of you today. It shouldn't be too hard. I'm done being lectured, pleaded with, talked down to, judged, bossed around and guilt tripped. I'm fucking done. Enjoy the rest of your night." I didn't bother to pay attention to the reactions of anyone in the room. I just booked it as quickly as I could up the stairs and locked myself away from the world. I had a feeling it was only a matter of time before I got sucked into one of the many conversations that I needed to but had no desire to have. At least those conversations could wait for another day. I rolled a blunt, lit up and pretended like the disaster that was my life didn't exist for just a little while longer.

 **My Birthday is in 8 days. Can I get some reviews? You'll get a preview if you want one!**


	17. Regenerating Limb

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 **Important A/N - Please Read:** _ **First of all**_ _, sorry I didn't get this up before the end of August but I wanted to edit it again and there just wasn't enough time last night to get through the whole thing for a 5th time and do everything else I needed to as well. If you know me, you know I'm very anal when it comes to editing and since I don't have a beta, I do all the fun stuff myself. This was a super long chapter, like 10k word long chapter but I decided to cut it. I know some of you don't like them that long and I was trying to fit in so much information that the length just got ridiculous so back down to just over 6k we went._

 _ **Second**_ _,_ _I updated my profile_ _. It has all the information about the stuff and things coming from me to you, plus links to all the outfits I deem too awesome or important not to have photo evidence of, past and present. I may even put up some photos of the house I modeled the Morgenstern's after in my mind but we'll see._

 _ **Third**_ _, I love all of you guys and your reviews. I live for them because they simultaneously bring me joy and allow me to address things that may not have been clear with my story. I get a lot of reviews and PMs from people who keep telling me that C is being a bitch or that Jace is trying and he should be given some slack or that he's just frankly, been punished enough. Think about this, what has Jace really done to redeem himself at this point? Weigh his offenses against her versus his attempts to get back in her good graces and decide which one prevails over the other. I just wanted to provide some perspective. Hang in there. There_ _ **is**_ _sunshine after the rain ;)_

 _ **Fourth**_ _, this chapter marks just over 3 weeks into October in the story. It's still only the second month of school. I'm gonna start dating my chapters and go back and date the old ones so the storyline makes more sense._

 _ **Fifth and final**_ _, If you like rock music at all, you should seriously take the time to check out Bad Cop/Bad Cop. These ladies are amazing and the music is awesome. End advertisement._

 _Sorry for the long Author's Note. Hopefully you guys will still read the chapter._

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Bad Cop/Bad Cop - My Life***

 ***Bad Cop/Bad Cop - Amputations***

 ***blink-182 - Cynical***

 ***blink-182 - Story of a Lonely Guy***

 ***Ignite - Nothing Can Stop Me***

 ***The Ataris - San Dimas High School Football Rules***

 **October 2015**

 _ **C POV**_

The inquisition came and went with about as much drama as I expected. I planned to go to school early to escape it until later in the day bit when I got downstairs an hour earlier than normal, everyone was already there waiting for me. They all just stared for a moment and I'm not sure if the silence was worse or when the yelling started again.

Predictably, Alec and Jon were pissed because I'd supposedly been 'missing' _all_ day _and_ had my phone turned off. I loved them but they were gonna have to lay off eventually. If everything worked out like we planned, we'd all be in different states, going to different colleges in less than a year and they wouldn't be able to keep tabs on me every second of every day then anyway.

Izzy was pissed that I worried Jon but also hurt that I dismissed what she said about Jace, which…whatever. I loved her and I hoped one day she ended up my sister-in-law and all that but she needed to mind her own fuckin business when it came to my nonexistent relationship with Jace. She acted like he was all reformed and no longer praying to the church of douchebaggery but I hadn't seen any evidence of that being the case. For a moment there, maybe but I should've learned by then that no one ever really changes and unfortunately, I was no exception.

Mags was irritated because he was so in love with Alec, it was like their moods synced together and whatever one felt, the other was just as affected. He hadn't really done anything to piss me off since he kept his feelings mostly to himself but everyone else was talking to me like I was seven instead of seventeen.

And then there was Jace, once again, sitting there all unassuming in the chair in the corner, trying not to look at me. I didn't understand why he was even there. Didn't he get the hint? He pushed it too far. At least he had the courtesy to keep his mouth shut because he had nothing to say that I wanted to hear.

Finally, I said fuck it and left the room just like I had the previous night; with some not so nice words and in a huff. I know it seemed like I was acting like a child but that's what happens when people treat you like one. My life in that forty minutes we sat in the living room was enough to drive me mad if I wasn't already out of my damn mind.

Alec showed up in my room about ten minutes after the whole fiasco. We could never stay mad at each other but it always seemed to be me that needed the forgiveness lately. He came and listened to Bad Cop/Bad Cop and cuddled with me in bed. About twenty minutes after that, Mags came to join us. Of course he was being respectful and giving us our time together. He's amazing. We then turned off the music and headed to school.

My brother took until the next day. He tended to stay butthurt for a bit longer but we were family and I knew he just held on so tight because he didn't want to lose me. I actually kinda wondered how he was gonna cope when he went all the way to the University of Alabama. I was predicting a lot of phone calls. Anyway, it was a good thing we made up when we did because we got our SAT and ACT scores back that week and it would've sucked if we didn't get to share them with each other just because of some stupid argument. I scored 100 points higher than Jon but both of our scores were so amazing, it didn't really matter. He was so happy for me and was rooting for me to get into my dream school which he still didn't know was Harvard but he knew I wanted to stay closer to home. Alec scored just a little higher than Jon and was just as excited as I was for his college prospects.

The next three weeks were filled with a lot of activity. Mostly me avoiding Jace, me avoiding Jace and yeah…me avoiding Jace. He made it pretty hard considering he'd try to corner me every chance he got but I was good at martial arts for a reason. I may have been small but I was muscular and quick. I even went so far as to do all of our partner assignments, during that time, early and turn them in with both of our names on them so I didn't have to work with him. Around the end of week two, he had pretty much decided to leave me alone, which I was grateful for. It's much easier to avoid someone when they aren't all up in your face all the time. And I knew it was irrational, so goddamn irrational but a part of me though, a very small part, wondered if maybe he thought I just wasn't worth the effort anymore. And maybe I wasn't.

 _ **Jace POV**_

"Shit, Jace. YES. YES. YES." I shoved her face back into the pillow to get her to stop squealing. She was on her knees on her bed with me pounding into her like my life depended on it. I was chasing my currently elusive orgasm. I had to empty my mind of everything and her constant wailing like a porn star was not helping. Don't get me wrong, it's fucking hot when women are vocal during sex but not when they sound like a cat in heat, solidifying to the whole neighborhood that they had a wanton slut hiding amongst them. I finally blocked her out enough to cum. I really didn't give a shit whether she did or not. Either way, she looked pleased to just have been with me.

She was probably another one of the obsessed ones, in it for the glory. Bagging me, a star football player; a popular guy. Fuck, even being seen with me could get you in on the scene for at least a day. It's not like I screened the girls I had sex with. This kind of shit used to make my life worth living and now, if I thought about it too hard, it made me feel sick. If she thought she was more than just a quick lay, she was very wrong.

One of the important things about me was that I mostly realized my own shortcomings. I may not acknowledge them but I was acutely aware of what they were and how they affected my life and the lives of other people around me. Phyl was right, I wasn't what you would call kind. I wasn't nice to anyone unnecessarily. I didn't go out of my way to make sure other people were okay. There were very few people who elicited that behavior from me and the girl who I'd technically just used to try and forget that I was failing the one I really cared about certainly wasn't one of them. I also tended to give up when the going got tough and Phyl knew about that too, it was just depressing that I was so predictable and too immature to do anything about it. I couldn't even throw a lifeline to save myself. I wanted to change but it seemed easier to fall back into old habits than to continue beating my head against a brick wall.

I pulled out, tied a knot in the condom after removing it and stuffed it in my pocket. I didn't need any pregnancy scares from girls digging through their trash cans just to find little Jace's to intentionally knock themselves up with. I was already used to screwing my life up, I didn't need to make it worse by adding a kid to the mix.

 _But man, a red-headed, green-eyed girl, just like her mother…beautiful_

I quickly pushed those thoughts away. I was once again losing my damn mind. I didn't even know where they came from. I'd never wanted kids and I was too much of a child myself to raise one to be a responsible human being. And to want one with C? Holy shit. Thoughts like that had no business being in my head. I did slightly wonder if I already had any kids out there that I just didn't know about. The thought was unsettling.

I barely spared the nameless chick a goodbye before leaving her house, stopping at mine to shower before heading to Jon's. I was hoping C wasn't home because at that point, I'd honestly decided to stop trying. C was like a jawbreaker. If you just liked what you were getting on the surface, then you were great but I wanted the core; the amazingly tasty, sour but sweet bit in the center and I knew her hard exterior would outlast my patience. I couldn't take her ignoring me. Her silence was worse than her anger. I walked up to the front door and knocked instead of walking in. I didn't want to take a chance in case she was nearby. Jon answered the door not forty-seconds later.

"Bro, what the hell are you doing? You know where the key is if the door's locked. Why didn't you just come in?"

"I was worried I'd run into your sister and she'd slam the door in my face…or worse yet, you wouldn't be home yet and I'd have to sit here and wait for you while she gave me the silent treatment and stared daggers at the carpet."

"What's going on with that anyway?" Jon inquired.

"I think I have to admit defeat and say I am officially done making myself _and_ her miserable. Sometimes you just gotta learn when to throw in the towel and this is obviously one of those times."

"Are you sure you actually want this? Because it sounds to me like she doesn't mean anything to you if you're just willing to walk away."

"Jon...I've been trying. She won't speak to me. She hates me. She won't even look at me. What am I supposed to do, besides give up?"

"You're supposed to fight, you idiot. When we stopped being friends, you fought for me. It took you a bit but you finally figured it out and you did what you needed to mend fences and we became friends again. Why's it different with her? Why can't you do the same thing?"

"Because I didn't hurt you like I hurt her, Jon. By the Angel, you should have seen the look on her face when she let me have it in the hallway that day. I mean at first she was just really fuckin pissed, which I understood because I'm used to that from her and I deserved it...but then she just…broke. And I felt like somehow I broke right along with her. That was like nothing I've ever felt. And ever since the Aiden thing, now I...I don't know...it pisses me...I just need her to...I just wanna be friends again and I've just about lost hope that it's ever gonna happen," I finally finished.

"I know that look, Jace. I've unfortunately experienced it. Trust me. Her eyes. I swear they just see right through you. The looks she gives you just rip out your insides and twist them until you feel like you might not survive if you don't somehow make it better for her."

"Jon? What happened to her? I know I was a huge dick and didn't care before...but I really need to know. I know I've fucked up a lot but all of this can't be just because of me."

"That's not my business to tell you. That's information you have to earn…but I will tell you that we never should have abandoned her. She needed us, all of us and we just left her. I know she sort of had Alec, but what we did to her...what I did to her at least…not making sure she was okay…I'm always gonna be living in the shadow of that year. She was my responsibility and I just left her. She says she's forgiven me but I know it's just buried along with everything else. She won't talk to me or Alec about anything. Something changed in her after that year and in a lot of ways she's stronger but I get the feeling it's in all the ways she shouldn't have to be." He stared blankly off into space, before suddenly turning to me.

"Look, I'm helping you because Izzy practically begged me but I won't watch you cause her more pain and I'm not gonna fucking help you if you're just gonna give up because it's too hard. I can't handle watching her hurt and I won't waste my time. What I really want to know is what changed in you? I don't know what's going on with you. You've been acting like a completely different person lately."

 _Not that different_

"She did. I don't know what she did but somewhere along the way, I started to realize I need her." Jon gave me a withering look. "Not like that, dude. I mean, when it started out, I'm gonna be truthful here, that's what I wanted from her and I know that's gonna piss you off, especially because I lied to you about it but I've realized that she's so much more to me than that. I'm not just trying to get her in bed anymore. I need her to be a part of my life. I need her to keep me grounded. I need her to be my friend and that scares the shit out of me because I've never felt like I needed anyone before." I sighed, it wasn't coming out like I wanted it to at all. "Look, people flock to me. I can take my pick out of any kid at school and they'd be my friend in a heartbeat, I'm sure but no one makes me feel more like my real self than she does and now I feel like I can't function without her. But when you're used to getting everything you want, it's discouraging when the one thing you really feel like you need is just out of reach."

"What you're describing sounds like a lot more than a guy who just wants to be friends," Jon said, skeptically. "Are you sure that's all you want from her?" I considered my answer carefully before I responded. Obviously, I'd let my feelings get away from me. Jon was a really observant guy and he already seemed to know more than I could afford to allow. The last thing I wanted was to give my best friend even more cause to want to kick my ass and it's not like I was prepared to do anything even if he was somehow _miraculously_ cool with how I might, possibly, maybe, was feeling.

"That's all I have to offer her. I don't even know how to be a friend to her yet even though I'm determined to try my best if she'd give me the time of day. Anything else at this point, she wouldn't agree to anyway so I think that's kind of irrelevant," I returned, sincerely, "but I can't go on like this. I need her to talk to me. I'm going out of my mind here."

"Then why the fuck are you so ready to give up before you've really tried?" I was about to object but I knew he was right. I hadn't tried as hard as I could. My version of trying was putting forth any effort at all which obviously wasn't the answer to my troubles. I needed to admit to something I'd never admitted to another human being in my life, except my therapist but if I was going to get Jon's help, I didn't really have a choice but to continue being honest with him.

"I'm scared, Jon. Because I feel like at this point, she literally has no reason to give me a chance, no matter what I do to try and redeem myself…And being buried in pussy while drowning myself in alcohol makes me feel numb which is the next closest thing to feeling better."

"I understand you're scared, Jace but you gotta man up. I've gotta be honest. You know I love you like a brother." I nodded.

"Why does it sound like there's a 'but' coming?" He smiled.

"Buuuuut…Clare is my blood. You've treated her like shit, then like a piece of meat and then like your personal property. These aren't exactly 'friendly' behaviors. Shit, I don't blame her for being pissed. _I'm_ pissed but according to Izzy, I'm not allowed to kill you because you're trying to fix things. Right now, C doesn't trust you. If you want to be her friend, show her she can count on you. Put your fear aside and put in some real effort. I know she's been doing your partner projects alone." I gave him a questioning look.

"I can hear her blasting her homework mix from the time she gets home until the time she goes to bed and I found the syllabus in the kitchen with all the assignments marked off. I know C. If she wants to avoid you, she'll find a way. Anyway, you have the same list. Maybe, do the assignments before she gets a chance to? Walk her to class, even if she ignores you. Just…show up and be there for her without her having to ask you to. She doubts you because you abandoned her and probably all the feelings that lead to afterwards. Assure her that she won't ever have to worry about that again. Also don't get drunk and beat up her friends because that's just a dick move. And when all else fails, she loves daffodils." He grabbed an apple from the bowl on the table and left the kitchen.

Jon was right. There was still some hope. There were things I could still do. Things more significant than passing her notes in class that she wasn't going to read or trying to corner her in the hall and hoping I could intimidate her into talking to me. C didn't intimidate easily so I wasn't really sure why I'd even tried that particular tactic. From that moment forward, I decided to go with Jon's way of doing things. I assumed it would get me farther than I'd been getting on my own. If anyone knew C, It was Jon and Alec and since I knew I'd get no help from Alec in this lifetime, Jon was my in.

I felt uncharacteristically stupid. I was such a quitter and it was a habit I was gonna have to break. I knew I at least had somewhat of a defense in the fact that I'd never had to deal with shit like this before but that just made me seem like a spoiled ass, privileged, preppy rich kid. I hated that because before I was adopted by the Lightwoods, I was anything but and I hated that about myself too. I was caught between two worlds, never quite fitting into either and that rang true in more ways than one. I had a fleeting thought that my past was playing a part in my current predicament but let it migrate to the back of my mind when Jon came back in the room a few minutes later, telling me to make sure to eat a protein bar because it was time almost time to leave for the practice that we were having before tonight's game.

 _ **C POV**_

I was completely confused but slightly better than the depression I felt during the past couple of weeks. I was spending a lot of time with Joe at the gym and had been hanging out with Aiden a bit. He was always good for cheering up and he had the best weed. The man was like one of those shady dudes selling watches outside Penn Station mixed with a dispensary. His jacket was full of all kinds of different pockets and each one contained a different strain or edibles or BHO. I even introduced him to Alec and they hit it off even though I could tell he was irritated to have someone new encroaching on time that was usually just spent him and me. I understood where he was coming from and I felt bad but I also felt guilty that Aiden got attacked because of me. Something that there was no reason for and it was all because we were dancing? All because Jace had some kind of need to protect me all of the sudden or he thought I was his territory…who knew why Jace did what he did.

Jace, yeah that dude came back with a vengeance. I don't know what changed his mind about trying to win me over but he was putting in some real effort it seemed. How long that burst of initiative would last, nobody knew but I had to give him _some_ credit. For a week, he waited for me where I normally park my car and walked me to my locker and then to class. He would be waiting for me at the door at the end of every class and walk me to the next one. He had lunch delivered to me every day and it was actually stuff I liked to eat and then he'd walk me to my car at the end of the school day and follow me home the days he didn't have practice…all of this without us speaking to each other at all. Everyday in both classes we shared, he was constantly working on something and never tried to talk to me once.

Outside of school, he was at our house everyday but was completely invisible except for the fact that I was spontaneously breathing in that familiar scent of mint, spice and something just uniquely Jace. But I'd always find a vase of fresh daffodils, each day a different kind, on the center of the island in the kitchen with a card that said, 'I'm Sorry' or 'Please Forgive Me' on it. On Friday, I came into English and found a tower of papers on my desk. I saw the course syllabus on top with the following three weeks of partner assignments checked off. I looked through the stack underneath and found all of them there, stapled into packets. I turned to look at Jace in the seat next to me because I just couldn't believe what he'd done. He kept his eyes forward, intensely paying attention to the words being spoken by Mr Gray. I was speechless and while I was grateful he'd done the same amount of work I'd done, it didn't tell me what he really wanted from me and I wasn't talking the version he gave to Izzy or even the one he gave to me but the actual truth of what it was exactly that was significant about me being in his life. For all I knew, there was nothing and this was just another way of manipulating me.

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

One of the best things about Friday night was the football games. I'd been into sports since I was a kid and loved to watch Jon play, not to mention practicing with him, Alec and Jace when we were kids. The Shadowhunters made it to the last game of the season with an undefeated record which was no surprise and the whole school came out to watch. The Triforce was on point as usual and Bat and Jordan were just as good. We had the best offense in the whole state and it was going to be our year. We won the game, 42-14 with two touchdowns scored by Jace, three by Alec and one by Bat. And Jon's arm…He threw over sixty-five yards on two of those touchdowns. I swore my voice was gonna go out from screaming so loud. I was sure if any of them wanted to play football in college, they would've had no problem getting a full ride to almost any school of their choosing. But I knew Jace wanted to study law at Yale from our previous assignment and from conversations I'd had with Bat, I knew he wanted to go to school for some kind of graphic or digital design. I knew Alec wanted to be an Engineer and he'd already been scouted by many schools for his skills on the Lacrosse field but his dream was to go to Cornell so he could both play and get the education he wanted and deserved. They came to scout our players last year but he had a shoulder injury sustained during the previous game and was unable to play. Alec was hoping he'd receive early acceptance and then they'd come scout him this spring so he would already be in on academic merit but could also be one of the only Freshman on Varsity Lacrosse. He was an absolutely amazing attack and that's saying something that he was even better at that than at football.

The game was when Izzy and I sort of had our unofficial official make up. We shared a look. Hers said, 'I know I shouldn't meddle but I was looking out for my brother.' Mine said, 'I realize you had the best of intentions and I'll let it go but stay the fuck out of it from now on.' There was a short mutual head nod but nothing else was said and we put it to rest from there.

 _And guys say girls are dramatic_

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

I knew there was going to be a party at my house. One of the few that my band wasn't performing at because it wasn't one we'd planned for even though we were about 99% positive it was happening. It was the final regular game of the season and my brother, Captain Jonathan Adrien Morgenstern, once again led us to the playoffs. As if there were any doubt. Jon was recruited to be a Freshman Varsity Quarterback when he was a Junior. He knew how to command his team and they all loved him.

It was one of those rare moments when I going to get to just sit back, drink and chill with my big brother. We were both so busy with our own stuff that spending quality time together didn't come easy and the times we did see each other would be even less frequent when we he went all the way to Alabama and I planned to go to Massachusetts. I wanted to savor the time we had left and made a mental note to spend more time with my brother.

When I got home from the game with Mags and Izzy, we knew we had only a short time before people started showing up. The guys would be along as soon as they showered and grabbed their stuff but we really needed to get changed. One quick phone call to Mark to let him know someone was home and his guys were there setting up for us.

I rushed through getting ready, throwing on one of the many outfits Magnus had created especially for me over the past month. A black, high collared, shirt with a cut out sweetheart neckline and an attached tie, black skinny jeans with rips that had plaid fabric underneath and one of my favorite pairs of high heeled boots. I curled my hair and covered my lids with thick black eyeliner and three coats of mascara before rubbing on some Vera Wang, using some tinted lip balm and quickly but carefully making my way down the stairs, leaving Mags and Izzy to finish without me.

As I was walking into the living room, I caught Mark carrying a box of alcohol in the front door.

"Awww, Mark. For me?" I asked as I took the box from him and made my way into the kitchen with him following behind me.

"Yes, the whole box, just for you," he sighed, sarcastically. "But seriously, I hope you put the word out that this is a BYOB cuz I'm positive with just the people in this house right now, we could finish off what we got right here."

"Hell yes we did. No way people are getting into my personal stash of Crown or Patrón."

"Don't worry, I got you a fresh bottle of each," he said, gesturing to the box, where I lifted out a fifth of Crown Apple in one hand and a fifth of Patrón in the other.

"See, I knew I liked you for some reason."

"Ha ha, very funny. I'm gonna finish setting up." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the time. "I'd say we got maybe, twenty minutes max before the first people show up at the gate and if you're lucky, your brother, Alec and the rest of the team will be here before that happens. This shit is gonna get wild." I headed to my locked alcohol stash with my brand new bottles and put them away where no one would have access. There were plenty of bottles of Jose and Don Julio, SoCo and Jack to choose from.

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

Mark wasn't lying. We weren't even an hour into the party and we'd already had way too many thing happen to call it a normal night. A few guys from the rival team showed up which resulted in a big backyard brawl. Also, there was a girl who threw up on one of the beer pong tables, a guy we kicked out for selling Gak and a couple who thought it'd be a good idea to have a swingers party with another couple in my parent's bedroom after picking the lock. I was happy I caught them before things got too far. Even though Luke and Jocelyn weren't home that often, we still didn't fuck with their stuff.

By that time, two of our house rules had already been broken and I was seriously ready for the party to be over. I felt like I was playing mom and I never did that shit at parties unless it got really crazy. I'd barely had one drink since people started showing up. I was hoping the whole night didn't turn out like this. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey Clare Bear, you're supposed to be celebrating with me and having a good time, not playing security. Let Mark's guys handle all that. That's why they're here." That was news to me. I had no idea Mark's friends were acting as our security but it was nice to know I could stop being so uptight. "Come on. Let's get you some alcohol." He smiled at me and threw his arm around my shoulder. I threw my arm around Jon's back, returned his smile and we made our way into the kitchen.

"C, we're getting ready to play a game of Never Have I Ever. You in?" Izzy asked as soon as we entered. I took note that both my brother and Alec were going to be playing but I figured it would be a lot easier than Truth or Dare.

"Why not? Pour me some shots. Better make it like ten. I imagine we'll all be doing a lot of drinking" Izzy laid out nine shot glasses of Crown and one of Jose in front of me with some salt and cut up lime.

"Might as well take a shot to start the game off right." Everyone wet the outside of their hands with their saliva, sprinkling the salt on afterward to make it stick. They then downed the tequila before licking up the salt and sucking on the limes. I just downed the shot. Izzy had other ideas though.

"Come on, C, body shot." I figured what the hell. I didn't take my tequila with lime or salt but to each their own. It was like alcohol with chasers. If you can't handle it straight, don't drink. I did learn how to drink from Sebastian though and it's not like he would have let me have anything afterward anyway.

Izzy laid me down across the island, pulling my shirt up to the bottom of my bra. She put the slice of lime in my mouth and licked a line up from my bellybutton to under my boobs. She shook on the salt and then produced a double shot glass which she proceeded to fill with tequila. She quickly downed the shot, licked slowly, all the way up my body and then sucked the lime but kept it in my mouth. Without even having to look, I could him. It was unnerving. After a few moments she finally did pull away to the cheers and lust filled eyes of an audience, both male and female. I pulled her back down to me so I could whisper in her ear.

"Was this what you were going for?" I quietly asked, gesturing at the crowd with my head.

"Uh huh, but I was doing it just as much for you as I was for me. You'll see eventually and you can thank me then," she answered, pulling back and grabbing her tray of shots before walking to the table to join Jon. I pulled down my shirt before grabbing my own tray and sitting down between Alec and Bat. I glanced at Jace and noticed he was staring down at his shot glasses like a kicked puppy.

 _We're not playing this game, bro_

"Alright, let's get this shit started. Who goes first?" Jon asked.

"Oh me, me, me!" Izzy shouted, as if we weren't all within five feet of her.

I wasn't against playing, I just didn't want to elaborate on the reasons behind the shot taking. Knowing me, I wouldn't be so lucky.

 _ **Don't Forget…Leave A Review, Get A Preview :)**_


	18. For What It's Worth

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember**_ _ **…**_ _ **this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

Hey Peeps! This chapter was supposed to be out a few days ago but I've been having trouble with my Macbook Pro and had to do an Erase and Reinstall. You wouldn't believe how many hours it takes to restore from a Time Machine backup…literally 2 full days. Anyway, thanks for being understanding. Outfits have been updated on my profile. Love you all and enjoy!

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***The Lawrence Arms - The Slowest Drink At The Saddest Bar On The Snowiest Day In The Greatest City***

 ***Rehasher - Waste My Words***

 ***Bodyjar - Not The Same***

 ***Less Than Jake - The Ghosts Of Me And You***

 ***The Flatliners - Count Your Bruises***

October 2015

 _ **Jace POV**_

Everyone was sitting around the Morgenstern's huge dining room table and getting ready to play. It was me, Jon, C, Izzy, Bat, Maia, Jordan, Raphael, Simon, Matt, Alec, Magnus and Aiden. I was trying so hard not to look at C but all I wanted to do was apologize to her in person. She'd still been giving me the silent treatment but she wasn't hostile about it, so I guessed that was progress which I thanked the Angel for. I couldn't handle it anymore and I was ready for this whole thing to be over. I'd keep going as long as it took. I was done giving up. She wasn't someone I could let go despite what I previously let myself believe. What I really needed to do was get Aiden alone long enough to apologize to him. C wasn't my property. As far as I could tell, he hadn't hurt her. I really had no excuse for starting a fight with him besides being drunk and allowing my maybe sorta feelings to come out through my fists.

 _Yeah, you know exactly how you feel asshole. Keep denying it. A lot of good it_ _'_ _s doing you_

I was only halfway paying attention to my surroundings as I stared at my hands but my head snapped up when Izzy said she was starting the game.

"Never have I ever fooled around in a sibling's room." Alec drank and mumbled a half hearted 'sorry Iz' as she gave him the death glare with her hands on her hips. Magnus had the decency to look sheepish. Bat also drank as well as Simon, Matt, Aiden and Raphael.

"One of the people who drank has to go next," she sniped, petulantly while still giving Alec the stink eye.

"I'll go," Bat volunteered. "Never have I ever had sex with more than one person at a time." That caused me to drink and I probably would have taken all the shots I had left for all the threesomes I'd been involved in. What I did notice though was that Jon and Izzy looked at each other with slick smiles on their faces before downing a shot each. Matt, Jordan, Magnus, Aiden and Maia also took a shot and Bat looked at Maia, surprised to which she just shrugged. That was the same girl who got upset that he'd had sex with four people before her the last time we played truth or dare.

"Me next!" Jordan exclaimed. "Never have I ever given a blowjob." I saw C flinch but she took the shot. I was surprised for obvious reasons and then wondered whether it'd been recently or someone from her past. I looked over to Jon to see if he was having the same reaction as me and he looked a little surprised himself but mostly uncomfortable like he was getting too much information about his little sister.

I also noticed Simon take a shot which shocked me but it wasn't hard to be roped into dares like that in high school, especially at parties like these but thinking about it. When I thought about it though, I'd never seen Simon date anyone, not that we hung out or anything but I'd just never noticed him with anyone at school except C, Aline or the guys in the band. Maybe he was attracted to men and I just hadn't realized it. There were some others that took shots as well; namely Izzy, Alec, Magnus and Maia.

"Me next," Maia said. "Never have I ever had to take the morning after pill." Izzy and C both took a shot. I witnessed both Jon and Alec's eyes bug out of their heads before they looked at each other, silently passing a message that they'd be having a conversation later. I switched my attention over to her and she was biting her lip. Normally I found it incredibly sexy when she did that but she appeared to be about ready to chew right through it. I attempted to move the game along for her because it really didn't look like she could have handled the scrutiny much longer.

"My turn guys."

"But you didn't drink on that turn, Jace."

"Yeah, I know but I've got a good one. Never have I ever taken nude photos of myself or anyone else."

"Bullshit you haven't, Jace. You're a narcissistic motherfucker and how else would you remember all your conquests." I looked in C's direction before answering, knowing that the next words out of my mouth probably weren't going to earn me any points.

"Normally hookups only happen once and there's no going back for seconds but even if I did, it was for sheer convenience only and not worth remembering." C looked up and met my eyes for just a second. I expected to see disgust but that wasn't what she was radiating. I just had no clue what it was and I didn't have time to figure it out because it was gone just as quickly as it appeared.

"Fine but I still think you're lying," claimed Raphael. Literally everyone drank except Simon and myself. There were obviously a lot of naked pictures floating around out there and I wondered who had their hands on the ones of C.

 _Stop. Just stop. This isn_ _'_ _t where you_ _'_ _re trying to go with this. Friends. That_ _'_ _s all. That_ _'_ _s gonna be hard enough_

"Never have I ever had a STD," Matt blurted out. It was my turn to cringe. I didn't wanna think about how I contracted the Clap when I was fifteen years old. I started to sweat and breathe heavily, before I ended up with temporary tunnel vision. I mentally coaxed myself back to reality a moment later and saw C also take one of her shots. Apparently so did Raphael, Magnus, Jordan and Maia. I was learning a lot of information about my friends tonight, more information than I would've gotten any other way and information I really didn't need to know. One of the reasons I wasn't fond of games like this was because of how personal they could get. But I agreed to play anyway just to hang out with my friends and just made sure not to elaborate on anything.

We continued to play the game for a while until everyone was pretty drunk, except C of course. She had a ridiculous tolerance for alcohol. We were talking about playing drunk hide and go seek when Bat and C decided they wanted to go swimming. Jon and C kept extra swim clothes in case people were coming over to swim but since it was my home away from home and pretty much Alec's too, we already had stuff there. I went upstairs to my room and changed into black swim trunks and made my way outside.

There were still a shit ton of people just standing around drinking or playing beer pong. Jon, Bat, Raphael, Jordan and Aiden were already standing on the deck waiting but decided to just go down to the pool rather than stand around half dressed next to the house. I started walking with them but figured it would be the best time to try and speak to Aiden since no one else had made it out yet. I stopped him about halfway there.

"Hey, can I talk to'you for a sec?"

"This isn't gonna end with your fist in my face is it? Because I think I'm a lil too drunk for that conversation."

"You wanna see drunk, try going shot for shot with C when she's trying to get drunk. She persuaded Jon and I to join her in one of those endeavors at the beginning of the year and we were so fucked up we could barely walk or talk. I actually blacked out. But no, this conversation won't be ending with my fist in your face."

"Y'know, the fucked thing is I don't even blame you. I understand, trust me. I mean look at her. That perfect little body and then she's smart and sarcastic as hell but sweet all at the same time. And those eyes. Mmm…yeah, I can definitely understand what that was all about." He wanted C and whether she wanted him back or not, I had no way of knowing but I didn't want to give him a reason to think of me as competition. I'd never had it before but I knew at that moment that if it were a choice between me and Aiden, I'd definitely lose. I needed to be on good terms with her friends if I had any chance of getting back into C's good graces.

"I was jus trying t'look out for a friend and I was really drunk and mistook what was really going on. I just wanted to apologize, man." It was sort of the truth in a very warped, untruthy kind of way. I hoped it was a good enough explanation for him though. I held out my hand for him to shake, hoping he'd take it. He reached out and shook it but looked at me intensely.

"Yeah, we both know that's bullshit, bro. However, I'm not the petty type. I'll accept your apology and make sure sh'knows it too. I don't need to win that way but make no mistake, my hat's in the ring and I seem to be ahead in this race so far." He let go of my hand and headed towards the water just as Matt, Maia and Simon came out the back door.

Magnus and Alec came out next, making their way to the pool. I walked along with them, catching only part of their conversation, namely the words 'What is she wearing,' 'absolutely fabulous,' 'kill someone' and 'blowing minds.' I heard a noise behind us and turned around.

Izzy came out the door with her arm threaded through the arm of a goddess. She was wearing a one piece but it looked like a bunch of pieces strung together. It was black, which contrasted beautifully with her pale skin. The bottom had straps that came up and around her perfect tits and ones that sat around her luscious hips. They were getting closer and I realized I had a serious problem that was extremely evident in swim trunks. I tried hard to cover myself without making it obvious but was pretty sure I wasn't succeeding.

 _Fuck. Fuck. Down. God damnit, go down. Shit! Okay, Alec in a speedo. Alec in a speedo_

Something about all those straps all over her was even worse than those tiny bikinis she'd worn over the summer. I was focusing on being friends and this was not the way one went about becoming friends with someone. She passed me, momentarily looking down and smirking before continuing toward the pool.

 _Fuck, she thinks this is amusing. Great!_

Izzy followed close behind her and I stared at her, silently blaming her for suggesting thinking of Alec in a speedo as a solution to an unexpected and very obvious raging hard on, since that didn't seem to work and I highly doubted Jon in a speedo could be worse than picturing my own brother. Her eyes were looking anywhere but at me and she was trying to stifle her own need to laugh.

 _Bitch. She thinks this is amusing too! So glad I can count on her for help_

I discreetly attempted to readjust myself, trying to make sure that no one else left at the party was paying attention to my predicament but I didn't need to worry; everyone was too drunk or high to give a fuck what I was doing for once. I'd had a few girls come up to me as soon as I got back from the game, fawning over me and gushing about how well I'd played.

When I got down to the pool, C was just about ready to jump off the diving board. She launched herself into the water and swam almost the full length of the pool only to rise out of the shallow end dripping wet. I was not the only pair of eyes glued onto that body. I didn't take my eyes away from it long enough to check but I heard the collective intake of breath and the throat clearing that undoubtedly came from both Alec and Jon to get everyone's attention.

There was a repeat incident with Izzy except she didn't use the diving board, she slowly waded in and flipped in the water only to walk out into the shallow end soaking wet and join C. My sister was wearing a red, two-piece, string bikini with black lace trim and bows on each side which I knew from the summer, was actually one of C's. I'd been so distracted by that perfect little body that I didn't even notice that my sister was wearing practically nothing.

There was a growl coming from myself as well as Jon and Alec as soon as I was able to pull my eyes away from C long enough to realize that she was getting just as many looks as C and if they were thinking thoughts half as bad as what was coming to my mind, we might have had a serious problem on our hands. C and Izzy started to have a water fight that Maia decided to join in on. She was wearing a plain black one piece that was an extra they kept around for guests. Let's just say, no one was paying attention to her with the other two around despite the fact that she had a decent body.

C and Izzy were complete opposites but managed to maintain somewhat of a friendship over the years despite all of the animosity between their two groups of friends. This year, it seemed to matter less. I think people were starting to realize that who you were in high school didn't matter in the real world and it was becoming more apparent the closer we came to graduating. Two years ago, C, Simon, Matt…they never would've been even in the same vicinity as Jordan, Raphael or Maia. We did have some friends who always kinda traveled between though, like Alec and Bat. They kept things from getting out of control. Thinking back on all the shitty things I did made me feel horrible. But I was too intoxicated to dwell on that shit at the moment. I would've driven myself straight into a depression that I probably wouldn't have been able to pull myself out of.

We messed around in the water for about an hour before we decided to get out, go shower and meet back downstairs to enjoy the rest of the party. By then, it was around midnight and there were quite a few people still hanging around; mostly from our school but some from others around the area. I'd been hanging out at one of the backyard bars for about thirty minutes or four shots before C ran up to the other end of the bar, hopped up on her elbows and grabbed a bottle of Jose from under the counter. She unscrewed the lid and chugged what looked to be about a third of the bottle. It didn't appear that she'd noticed me which was a miracle since I was the only person sitting there but she looked like she was on a mission to get drunk. I got up and walked over to her to see if I could get her to finally take my apology, not really sober or ready enough myself to have the conversation we needed to have either but I couldn't let the opportunity slip through my fingers.

"Look, C…I know I have no right to ask you t'talk to me but-"

"Exactly, Jace, you don't…You know, I've had it with you. I appreciate you trying to pull your weight at school and the flowers and lunch and all that but you can stop. You're giving me whiplash and I have no idea what's genuine from you and what's bullshit. When you're around, I feel like I can't trust myself and that's something I just can't deal with anymore. I stressed for years over whether there was something wrong with me or what I did to deserve to be treated like shit by so many people but I did a lot of soul searching and I know who I am now. I'm not the girl who let's other people treat her like she's nothing anymore and I feel like if I let you get those words out of your mouth, I'll just be allowing the cycle to start all over again so enjoy your evening but from here on out, there's really nothing more to be said between us." She turned around and walked away in her sexy as fuck heels that managed to turn me on even when she was pretty much telling me that I would never have a chance to be anything to her. Not boyfriend, not friend, not acquaintance, nothing.

I felt myself wanting to give up and give in to the call of my own personal addictions. I didn't know what else to do, I followed Jon's advice. I thought I was making progress or at least it seemed like it, especially with the assignment thing but I guess it was my own imagination. I started on my alcohol binge and figured I could keep myself away from anything else but I knew based on history that it wouldn't take too much more alcohol to have me following my dick to a piece of something. I didn't want that but what? What was left to do?

After wallowing in the madness of my mind for I had no idea how long, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't gonna give up. I'd already had to give myself this pep talk twice previously but third time was the charm, right? She was gonna sit down and listen to me because I cared damnit. Why couldn't she see that I cared? Besides, she should be flattered. Regardless of what I wanted her for, Jace Herondale did not chase girls. And then I felt like shit for having that thought because she wasn't like the other girls. They didn't even compare. Because C was something else, something absolutely amazing and so uniquely her.

I grabbed the bottle of Captain Morgan I'd been drinking off of for the past however many minutes, hours, days and headed towards the house. There were still a few people in the yard so I imagined that it couldn't be too late. I was walking past the guest house, otherwise known as Jocelyn and C's studio, when I heard a noise. I walked around to the side closest to the actual house and I immediately saw red.

Some guy that I'd never seen before had his entire body up against C and was kissing her neck while pressing her into the wall. She was caged in between his arms just standing there, looking…not really into it but still making small whimpering noises. I couldn't tell from the limited lighting exactly what was going on or whether the noises were from pain or pleasure but in that moment, it didn't matter and I didn't think before I ran over to him and pulled him off of her. I slammed his body down on the ground and took a quick look at C to see what she wanted me to do. She had dropped to the ground and was holding her head in her hands. That was all the permission mostly drunk me needed before I jumped on top of him and started beating the shit out of him. I saw nothing, I heard nothing; all there was in my world at that moment was my fist and his face.

Sometime before I killed him, someone grabbed onto the collar of my black t-shirt and pulled back. My hearing returned when my breath was cut off telling me it was Izzy trying to stop me from beating this guy to death.

"JACE! YOU HAVE TO STOP! YOU'LL KILL HIM!" Against my better judgement, which wasn't so good at the moment, I moved away from him, only to have Izzy lean over him to make sure he was still breathing, thank the Angel he was, or so she said. I thought it was debatable and judging by the shock it looked like C was in, I counted myself the winner.

She had her arms wrapped around her crossed legs, holding them up to her chest while resting her chin on her knees, just rocking back and forth and staring straight ahead.

"Okay, I'm gonna go get Jon and Alec to help me with this fucker. I hope I can trust you not to murder him while I do that?" I reluctantly nodded in agreement. "Will you help her please? Just get her in the house?" Izzy requested before starting to walk away. I wiped my bloody knuckles off on my shirt so I wouldn't get blood on her and went to reach out for C to help her up. She wouldn't take my hand so instead, I went to put my hands on her waist to lift her. That's when she lost it and I finally grasped the fact that I was probably the last person she wanted help from.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!, she yelled before standing up on her own and heading toward me. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT? GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" She pushed me away from her and then walked back over to the side of the guest house, sliding down the wall. I recoiled in surprise but also in hurt. Izzy turned around and quickly hurried back and I slowly backed away.

"On second thought, can you please go get Jon and Alec and then go get yourself cleaned up? I'll take care of her." She turned back to C and went to sit next to her. "Hey, Babes, you okay?" I didn't stay long enough to see what happened after that. I couldn't.

I found Jon and Alec and quickly pointed them in the direction of where I'd left C with Izzy, barely taking the time to explain what happened. And then I just ran. I ran as far and as fast as my legs would carry me. I had no idea where I was going but I just couldn't be near anyone at that moment. During that run, my whole childhood passed before my eyes. What it was like at home with my parents before the Lightwoods adopted me. How much I hated them at first because all I wanted to do was go back and take care of my mother. How I became part of their family and gained Alec, Izzy and Max as siblings even if we didn't get to see Max too often. How for five amazing years, I had not one but two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I threw one away and no matter what I tried to do to make it better, I just ended up fucking things up worse. If only she knew…

I finally had to stop and rest from lack of oxygen. I realized I ended up right next to a park. I walked to the playground, sat down on one of the swings and just stared up at the night sky, wondering how I'd made such a mess of my life. After all, Ivy League aspirations weren't everything. I was an eighteen year old, immature man child who drank and had sex way too much and had never had a meaningful relationship with anyone of the opposite sex in my life. I'd never shared my whole self with anybody, male or female and I didn't know how to love. Yeah, well-adjusted wasn't really in my vocabulary. I wanted to do this on my own but I was beginning to wonder if that possibility was just a pipe dream.

After sitting and enjoying the peace and quiet while simultaneously hating the horror show that was going on in my head, I finally decided I'd sobered enough to head home. The walk back seemed to take about the same amount of time as it took to run to the park, but who really knew since the drunk version of time was its own mystery.

I walked into my house and it was completely dark. It appeared no one was home. Maryse and Robert were still out of town, Max was with a friend and it appeared that Alec and Izzy were still at the Morgenstern's. I pulled my phone and wallet out of my pocket to get undressed and hop in the shower. The hot water stung as it hit my knuckles that were split and bleeding. It took less than ten minutes for me to finish and get back to my room, where I promptly threw on a pair of plaid pajama pants, plugged my phone in and fell into bed. I'd only been laying there, gaping at my ceiling for a few minutes when my phone started ringing. I figured it was just Izzy calling to make sure I was okay since I left the party without saying goodbye. I picked up the phone only to have no idea what to do when I saw whose name was on the Caller ID.

I had no idea what reason could've prompted the call and I was at a loss for what to actually say when I answered the phone. My senses came back to me as the chorus of Get Scared's "My Own Worst Enemy" started to play a second time but unfortunately my wits took longer to catch up. I answered the phone and ended up saying the only thing that made sense to me at the time.

"Hello?"

"Jace?"

 _ **Don**_ _ **'**_ _ **t Forget**_ _ **…**_ _ **Leave A Review, Get A Preview :)**_


	19. And If U Don't Know, Now U Know, Sorta

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 **EXTREMELY IMPORTANT A/N & TRIGGER WARNING:** This chapter deals with the various subjects of mental, emotional & physical abuse, rape and incest as well as a mental health condition known as Bipolar Disorder. If you're being abused or don't feel safe at home or in your relationship, I urge you to contact The National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. No one deserves to have their power taken away from them. Also, you can learn more about bipolar disorder here: www dot nimh dot nih dot gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder/index dot shtml#part_145402

 **The events in this chapter are based on real life. Respect is requested!**

I also want to address the guests who keep reviewing and implying that my characters are dressing and behaving like sluts and they are being attacked because they deserve it. NO ONE deserves to have hands put on them without their permission regardless of what they are wearing/doing so saying that is cruel and just promoting rape culture. Please get a fucking clue.

 ** _IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY STORY THEN STOP READING IT RATHER THAN BEING A TROLL!_** I will moderate and remove flaming reviews that contain anything but constructive criticism.

For all my other followers, I appreciate you and thanks for reading. Much Love!

 _PS. Outfits have been updated on my profile_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Bayside - The Walking Wounded***

 ***All Time Low - Last Young Renegade***

 ***The Menzingers - I Don't Wanna Be An Asshole Anymore***

 ***Into It. Over It. - Discretion & Depressing People***

 ***Brand New - The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows***

 ***Bliss N Eso Feat. Lee Fields - Friend Like You***

 _ **CPOV**_

 **Still October 2015**

"Hey, Babes, you okay?" Izzy asked.

I had no idea how to answer that question. Was I physically okay? Yes. Was I mentally or emotionally okay? Abso-fuckin-lutely not. That guy, Sean or whoever the fuck, was standing with a group of people from my art class next to my studio, talking about different artists and the mediums and periods they found most inspiring. I was talking about my love of Surrealism and Rene Magritte and he seemed really interested. I normally don't interact much with people I don't know but I was feeling pretty good at that point so I was decently excited when he said he was into Magritte as well. We got into a deep discussion about our favorite paintings, mine being The Empire of Light.

We went for a walk around the yard, just talking about all the different mediums and the people famous for creating the inspiring works that were so famous. When we got back around to the other side of the guest house, he suddenly pushed me up against the wall, told me how I'd been 'driving him crazy all night' and proceeded to attack my body with his hands, grabbing at anything he could. At first, I said no and told him to stop, thinking he would because that's what any normal human being would do but I should've known better considering my experience with men; If they wanted something from you, they were gonna get it whether you wanted to give it up or not.

When asking him to stop didn't work, I tried to get out of his grasp. I removed his hands, started walking away and even slapped him when he forcefully pulled me back and trapped me against the wall with his arms but all it took was one look from those fierce, angry, almost black eyes to cause me to freeze. I knew those eyes. They were close enough to _his_ eyes to render me completely useless. It didn't even occur to me to scream until I was physically unable to do anything but stand immobile in his arms.

I froze. I fucking froze. I should have physically been able to get that asshole off of me and kicked the shit out of him on my own. What the fuck did I spend years training for if it wasn't going to do me any good when I really needed it? I felt so ashamed. I went completely rigid when that asshole looked at me with the eyes I dreaded most and that was killing me inside.

Jace probably saw me as some weak damsel in distress, not that he'd be the one trying to do the saving, just that he probably thought I couldn't take care of myself and I was sure if he went to go get Jon and Alec and told them what happened, they were gonna think the same thing. Neither one of them was gonna let me go to college anywhere away from them. I came back to the present and tried to think of something to tell Iz.

"I'm fine. Jace just saw a guy getting all handsy with me and this time, he actually did me a solid."

"Then why did you tell him to get away from you?" I didn't want to lie to her but there was information I just didn't feel like she needed to know and I wasn't ready to give up. I tried to keep it as simple as possible even though I knew it would be another hit to my ego.

"Look Izzy, when that guy was all over me, I froze. I don't do that. I don't know what happened and the fact that Jace, who I've been basically shutting down at every avenue, was the one to help me out of that situation just doesn't sit well with me."

Jace just had to be the one to help. I think that was almost just as bad as the freezing itself. I'd done nothing but keep him at arm's length since he started showing interest and rightly so because he definitely wanted to fuck me but maybe that wasn't the case anymore and I really was misjudging him. Maybe he really was trying to change like Iz said.

He could've ignored what was going on. I'm sure it looked enough like a makeout session to just walk on by. And after how cold I was to him when he got into the fight with Aiden, he would've had every reason to keep walking just to keep it from happening again. Aiden told me while they were waiting for us to get outside to go swimming, Jace apologized to him for starting shit. It's what he should've done in the first place rather than wasting his time sending me flowers and buying me lunch, not that those things weren't nice gestures as well but he needed to learn to do the right thing, not the easy thing. What I wanted was for him to want to be a good guy because he was one, not just when it was convenient.

"So you basically yelled at Jace not to help you because he was being chivalrous and kept some creep from getting all up in that?" She asked. I knew it was fucked up but I didn't like to look weak in front of anyone.

"Yeah, and I really need to talk to him but I need to see one thing first to make sure I don't have anything else to yell at him for." Izzy rolled her eyes.

A few moments later, Jon and Alec showed up. I got my chance to find out whether Jace deserved an apology and a verbal lashing or just the apology. They started asking all kinds of questions about what happened and I knew that I really needed to ask for his forgiveness. He protected me twice and as much as depending on someone else for that made me feel ill, I couldn't let it go without showing my gratitude.

Since the whole truth wasn't necessary, I gave Jon and Alec the edited version, saying Jace had helped me take care of an overly handsy guy and gave Izzy a look, silently telling her to keep her mouth shut about me freezing. I trusted that was one secret she'd be sure to keep since she had not one but two oppressive older brothers.

"Do either of you know where Jace went?"

"I saw him start running. Probably had to burn off the extra adrenaline. Normally he either does that with a lot of sex or a good run," Alec answered, giving me a questioning look.

"Yeah, thanks Alec," I said, pointedly avoiding his gaze.

I finally got up off the ground and started making my way inside, being closely followed by Izzy.

"Are you gonna call Jace?" she whispered.

"Izzy, the first thing I'm gonna do is take a shower and wash the creep off me. And I thought you got the meaning of my look earlier. You are to stay out of my Jace business."

"I'm trying but it's hard," she whined. "I want things to go back to the way they were when we were younger. We're like three-fifths of the way there with a Magnus added in."

I understood what she meant. I hated Jace, I mean I hated him with the fiery flames of Hell but I only hated him so much because he meant so much to me before everything. I forgave Jon though. Maybe I could try to forgive Jace too, maybe. I didn't know but we definitely needed to have a conversation. No more avoiding him and no more being a bitch just to keep him at a distance. It didn't seem to be working anyway and in this case I was glad it wasn't. The night may have unfortunately, had a very different outcome.

"I'm gonna call him, Iz. I just need a little bit of time. I gotta figure out what to say. Everything isn't just fixed because he probably kept me from being sexually assaulted."

"First of all wow, I think you're way more calm about that, 'almost being sexually assaulted' thing that you should be…" _Oh if you only knew_ "And two, just have a normal conversation with him, thank him and explain why you freaked out."

"Yeah, blah blah blah fuckity fuck. You make it sound so simple. Trying to talk to your brother is like fucking trying to solve the mysteries on the universe. He's a damn enigma. I don't know what to believe and what's horse shit and I certainly don't know what the hell he really wants. This shit requires strategy. I can't just call him up and be like, 'Hi. This is C. I'm sorry I yelled at you but I was feeling weak and the fact that you wanted to help me even though I refused to deal with you at all over the past month and a half, threw me off guard but thank you for taking care of that douche bag.'"

"That sounded pretty good to me."

"No, Iz, because then he'll think he has the upper hand and Jace Herondale must never have or think he has the upper hand. He'll use it against me and I can't allow that to happen." By that time, we'd reached my room.

"Whatever, C," she laughed. "If you're really okay to be on your own, I'll leave you alone to shower and plot but just remember, I'm only a phone call away and I'm sure Alec will be up at some point knowing him.

"Gotta love him."

My phone and keys were laid down on one of the tables next to my bed. I went into the bathroom and now that I was alone, I started to have a mini freak out. Flashbacks were hitting me pretty hard and I was suffocating on phantom cologne that I hadn't smelled in at least two years. There was certainly no way it could be surrounding me now. I started to get dizzy and it felt like something was squeezing my lungs. I fell to the floor and tried to slow down my breathing. It'd been awhile since I'd had a panic attack but each one was always just as much of a bitch as the last.

When I felt a little better and the dizziness subsided, I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I had a hickey on the side of my neck where that asshole was sucking on it. I wondered whether I'd have bruises anywhere else, not that I wasn't used to them but these had a different meaning than the ones I sustained in the ring. Not that these were any less familiar, it's just been a long time.

I felt bad but I didn't think I'd ever be able to wear the clothes again. I ripped them off of me and threw them in one of the extra plastic garbage bags that I kept under my sink. I stood back up and checked over my body and saw some faint bruising beginning on the side of my left ass cheek and spots all over my breasts. It made me feel extremely dirty and I got in the shower as fast as humanly possible, turning the water as hot as it would go. I took a scalding shower and didn't come out for over thirty minutes. My skin was red and a bit sore but I didn't have that dirty feeling that I was happy to no longer be used to.

I went to my closet and grabbed some long satin pajama pants and tied them at the waist. I then put on the matching cream colored satin tank top. My bed was calling me and since I had to do something that would make me intensely uncomfortable, I figured I'd do it from a place that I felt physically at peace. I climbed into bed and grabbed my phone off the bedside table. I unlocked it and began looking for the text message he'd sent me when I walked out of school that day but as soon as I opened my messages, I received a new one from Izzy, giving me Jace's number.

 _Man, this girl doesn't know how_ not _to meddle_

I clicked on the number from her message and it started to ring. I was nervous as hell. I'd tried to think about it in the shower but I didn't have much luck. The only decision I could come to was to ask to have a conversation with him later in the day. It was already almost three in the morning and we'd both had our fair share of liquor. These were the reasons I gave myself but I knew I needed a few hours of decent sleep before I had to deal with the situation. It rang four times and I was about ready to give up for the night when he answered.

"Hello?"

"Jace?"

"Hi"

"I think it's time we had a conversation."

"That's all I need, just one conversation. I just need you to hear me out," Jace pleaded as if I wasn't the one to call and ask him to talk. I was at a loss.

"Okay, well, it's late so we should talk tomorrow or something."

"Yeah, I'll come over or you could come here?" Geez, this conversation was so fucking awkward.

"Maybe we better meet on neutral territory? How about you meet me at the football field, around…I don't know, how early can you meet me? I don't think I'll be getting much sleep so…"

"Yeah, I feel the same way. I could meet you as early as eight?"

"You sure you don't need more sleep than that?"

"Nope, I honestly don't sleep much."

"Alright, I guess I'll see you then. Ummm…bye?" You'd think I'd forgotten how to talk.

"Yeah, uhhh sounds good. Goodnight."

"Yeah, night," and with that lovely sentiment filled with strength and confidence, I hung up the phone. I plugged it into the charger and grabbed my pillow to cover my face with so I could muffle the sound of my screams. Tomorrow was going to be a hard day and I needed to get as much sleep as I could before it was time to meet up. I was about to get out of bed and shut off the light when Alec came in, locking the door behind him and shutting it off on his way over to the bed. He laid down behind me and pulled me to his chest, breathing me in like I was going to disappear.

"Are you okay, C? I'm sorry I wasn't the one there with you."

"There's nothing to apologize for, Alec. Just hold me and let's get some sleep."

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

I woke up four hours and fifteen minutes later to the sound of my alarm. I hurried and shut it off quickly to keep from disturbing Alec even though I knew it was likely he'd sleep right through it. My hair was a mess from not doing much with it the night before so I took another shower, making sure to use a ton of conditioner. I quickly blow dried it, making the whole bathroom smell like cherry vanilla and used my fingers to make waves.

I walked out to my room to a still asleep Alec, which was perfect because I didn't want to explain that I was going to meet Jace by myself at eight in the morning on a weekend. I stepped into a black lace bra and panty set and then threw on a black camisole. I got dressed in a black crochet poncho, black shredded skinny jeans and a pair of low top chucks before putting on some light makeup, grabbing my bag and heading out the door.

I skated to the school, arriving seven minutes till eight but Jace was already waiting for me. He was holding two cups of coffee and handed one to me as soon as I got close enough.

"Black like your soul. I remember," he said with a hesitant smile.

"Thanks." We climbed to the top of the bleachers and sat down.

"So are you okay? I mean of course you're not okay but can I do anything to help?" I chuckled, humorlessly.

"Trust me, last night was nothing but a small bump in the road in the life of Clarissa Morgenstern." He gave me an inquisitive look, like he wanted to ask but knew he shouldn't and it became clear it wasn't a topic we needed to add to the conversation today. There were plenty of other things that needed to be discussed first. "ummm so, did you sleep well?"

"I didn't really sleep much at all to be honest. I was too keyed up from the physical contact and I was also pretty shocked to hear from you since the last words you said to me were telling me to get the fuck away from you."

"Yeah, about that. I wa-"

"Wait, C. I'm sure you have all kinds of things you need to get off your chest but I don't know when or if I'll ever have the opportunity to talk to you like this again and I spent pretty much all night after you called thinking of what I was going to say to you."

"Okay, I'm listening."

"There aren't enough ways to apologize in all the languages in the world to tell you how sorry I am. I'm a bully and a dick. A colossal dick. I can't imagine all the pain I must have caused you. If I could go back and change it, I would and not just because I want to be your friend now but because I realize that the person I was is not the person I am nor the person I want to be and I sincerely hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." He studied my face for a long minute before continuing. "Fuck, there's been so much I missed out on; a whole chapter of your life that I didn't get to be a part of and I regret that so much…so, so much. Because of that, we don't know each other anymore and I know that's my fault. I know I have so much learning and growing to do and there are a lot of things to talk about but if there was any confusion over what I want from you, I would really like to be your friend again. I know it's a lot to ask and maybe it might take a while for you to trust me again or maybe you never will but there isn't an obstacle between us that makes it worth not having you in my life. I'm so sorry I didn't realize that before."

I felt that familiar burn in my eyes but I put a great deal of energy into pushing the tears back. That was probably the most heartfelt apology I'd ever received and maybe ever would receive but I still had three main issues with the entire scenario laid out before me. First, I was still a little worried that this had something to do with getting me into bed. I knew I screwed with him at the beginning of the year a little bit, trying to turn him on but that was in the name of payback. But Jace's mind, for whatever reason, revolved itself around sex and I'm talking more than the average teenage boy. I know he never had to go searching for partners willing to engage with him but I knew he wanted me maybe a month ago? How do those thoughts just go away? Or maybe he just used other girls to fuck me out of his system. I didn't have a whole lot of insight into the male sex drive in particular so all I could do was make educated guesses. Either way, that just wasn't going to happen and what if he didn't want me around anymore if I refused him and that was still what he was after? Which brought me to my second point.

Apologies didn't mean shit if the behavior continued after they were given. I wondered how long it would take him to push me aside again or to decide that maybe I wasn't really worth his time after all…I had my concerns that once I gave him my friendship and trust, the novelty would wear off eventually and I'd regret this entire endeavor because I'd be hurt again. I hated leaving myself open to being vulnerable and it seemed like common sense that the last person I'd bear my proverbial neck to was a man-child who'd previously, knowingly abused the faith I put in him as a friend and general human being.

Third, Jace was putting me on way too high of a pedestal. Over the past few years, I'd had a lot of shit to deal with. Yeah I'd put a lot of energy into becoming a stronger person than I had been previously. Yeah, I became a much more caring and compassionate person in the face of all of that shit but when it came to how I felt inside, I just pushed it down and kept going. I'd gone to a therapist for a little while but I just couldn't talk about anything. There was too much loss, too much pain and I couldn't wrap my head around it to even get the words out at the time. I still kept a razor blade; it was my safety blanket and I knew I wouldn't hesitate to use it if it became too much. Jace failed to realize that no matter how good of a person I was and how much I needed that apology, I was by no means the person he thought I was and he was gonna have to deal with getting to know me now and stop comparing me to the me I was at fourteen. I realized I was sitting there with a contemplative look on my face for far too long because Jace looked extremely anxious.

"Thank you, Jace. That was something I definitely needed to hear. I know apologies are hard for you so I appreciate that you would go to the trouble of pulling one together for me."

"I meant every word."

"I'm sure you think you do, but the fact is, I don't exactly have any reason to trust or believe you at this point and these days, I'm extremely careful about who I let in. I'm sure you can understand why." He looked remorseful. I supposed that was good but my goal wasn't to rub his face in it. I just needed him to understand why I'd freaked out in the hallway and why this all sounded too good to be true.

"Look, Jace. There are a lot of things you don't know about that happened in the three years we weren't talking. A lot happened to me and maybe I'll eventually tell you but I'm just not ready for that right now, just like I'm not really ready to be your friend."

"But we j-"

"Jace, chill, listen. What I'm saying is that for my own sanity and self preservation, I need to feel you out. I'll spend time around you. I'll work with you in class. We can hang out with other people around but I don't think I'm ready to be the kind of friend that you're expecting. I know patience isn't really your thing but if you want this with me, you're gonna have to learn it like…now. I can tell you for sure, this isn't going to be easy. You're gonna get frustrated. I'm sure you're gonna feel defeated at times but if you feel like hanging in there with me is something you're just gonna quit after a couple weeks because you're no longer interested then tell me now and we'll scrap the whole idea. I don't particularly enjoy the work it takes to avoid you but I'd rather do that than be in the middle of hurricane Jace." He scooted toward me and pulled me into an embrace before I had a chance to react.

"I won't quit on you again."

His arms around me felt comforting but stifling. The latter feeling took over and I resolved to get out of his grasp as quickly as possible. I wasn't ready for that kind of contact. I wiggled until he removed his arms from me.

"Yeah, okay, see what you did there? That's too much. We're not there yet. No touching please."

"Got ya. No touching." He looked at me, sheepishly as he let go and scooted back on the bench.

"While I'm glad you're not acting like your cocky asshole self, this version of you is foreign to me. I don't know how to handle it."

"I don't wanna be an asshole anymore. And this version of me…I want you to know the real me, without all the posturing and bullshit." I smiled at that. He was being surprisingly compliant but it seemed like he understood where I was coming from and was willing to be vulnerable with me in return for my openness with him. It was gonna be hard to integrate Jace back into my life but I was gonna try and I sincerely hoped it ended up being worth it.

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

 **November 2015**

Jace managed to be around quite a bit over the next few weeks. The first week or so, I wasn't allowing him to hang out with me by ourselves at all; I spent most of my time with Alec so he took the opportunities he _could_ find to be around whenever I was with Jon or other people he was cool with like Bat or Izzy. Don't get me wrong, he was still out being Jace, I'm sure but he made it a point to hang around me when the option arose. I didn't want to provide false hope when I wasn't even sure I'd be able to give him what he wanted.

Trust was the hardest thing to gain back once you'd lost it and I knew I was harder to win over than most. I respected the fact that he actually stuck with it. It seemed like he was heading in the right direction, it was just his sincerity that was still in question regardless of his pretty words.

Eventually, the fact that he was consistently there and someone who seemed to have switched into protector mode very quickly, wore me down. My college application and essay for one particular school needed to be done to qualify for early acceptance and so did Jace's for Yale. I caved and said we could work on them together but I hated having him in my room. He'd been in there before but that was because we were assigned to work together not because I wanted to invite him in and there wasn't much different this time except we were willingly spending time together. But it struck me as being way too personal for the stage we were at however, since Jon was in the middle of a three day Halo tournament with Bat and some of his online buddies in the living room and Izzy was using our kitchen for cooking practice for home economics, which I was praying to the Angel that she didn't burn down my house even though she'd gotten a lot better, there wasn't really another place to get peace and quiet to work on them. The only other option was Jace's guest room for when he was here, which was like always and that was not about to happen. I had no plans to travel into his territory.

We were sprawled out between the couch and chairs around the coffee table in my bedroom about forty minutes later when Jace finally said something to break up the silence.

"I just wanted to say I didn't realize how much I missed just spending time with you, so thanks for letting me back in, even if only a little bit."

"Jace, I'm not sure how or if this will work out yet so please don't get your hopes up." Jace let out a sigh.

"C, I'm trying. I want to be someone you can count on and that may take a while but I'm not afraid of the hard work. You're the last person who owes me a second chance but I'm asking for another one anyway. Someday, I'll prove to you that you can rely on me." I could feel the words bubbling up in my throat like bile. I dreaded saying the words out loud but he needed to know what he was up against.

"I have to be honest. When I explained that this would be hard, it was because the trust issues I have aren't just about you. They run deep. There's a lot of bad shit that happened in my past that I don't want to get into and I may look fine on the outside but let's just say it fucked me up pretty bad. I'm trying to move forward but it's not easy."

"I'm not a stranger to those type of scars, C." He contemplated for a moment before continuing. "I've never told anyone this before. Maryse and Robert know some of it but that's only because they received my file when they adopted me. You don't have to give me anything in return. I just feel like if I expect you to trust me, maybe I should start by being honest with you, even if it is difficult to talk about. And maybe I feel like I owe you something for all the hell I put you through."

"You really don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable. You don't owe me anything and even if you did, last night would've more than made up for it." I paused and looked him directly in the eyes. Even if I couldn't exactly express my gratitude the way that I should've, I wanted him to know I was being sincere. "Anyway, there are some things that I would never be able to share so it's not necessary."

"I feel like I need to tell you so you understand why I am the way I am, no matter how difficult it is to get through." He took a calming breath before beginning. "My mother was schizophrenic. From the time I could take care of myself up until I was 8 years old, I spent all my spare time taking care of her. My father used to beat her when she would have a really severe episode and he'd beat me too anytime I tried to protect her. My mom was too out of it to wake me up for school and there was so much yelling in my house that the only way I could wake up was by one of those old school loud alarm clocks that my mother owned. Since then, I have to have an alarm clock that is extremely loud and makes that exact sounds. I fucking hate it and tend to break them when I haven't gotten enough sleep which happens often. I've been through quite a few this year alone. Anyway, we were really poor and my father was an alcoholic who couldn't hold down a job for more than a few months and medication for schizophrenia is expensive, especially without insurance."

"One day, she had a particularly bad episode and freaked out, screaming down the house and talking about the demons talking to her and about how she had to save us all. My father was convinced that she would kill him in his sleep so he took a belt and beat her within an inch of her life. I tried to stop it but he hit me over the head with a cast iron skillet and knocked me out. I'm not sure I could've done anything anyway since I was only 8 and I remember my father being even bigger and taller than I am now, though that could just be that he looked like a big monster when I was a kid."

"Holy shit," I mumbled under my breath.

"The neighbors must've heard something because the cops apparently showed up. I woke up in the hospital with my mom in the same room. She was out for three days and when she finally woke up, she wasn't doing anything but babbling. My father was sent to prison for attempted murder among other charges. As far as I know, he's still there. They declared my mother unfit to take care of me so I bounced around foster homes for the next two years where I was beaten, starved, locked in a closet. It was horrible. Those six foster homes were some of the worst experiences of my life. Eventually, I ended up with Robert and Maryse and fuck was I a terror at first. I did everything I could to get them to send me away. I'd never been treated well by any adult before and I wanted them to stop pretending to be this nice couple and just get on with the beatings. I hoarded food and hid it in my room just in case they stopped feeding me. I went out of my way to avoid any closets in the house. It took a few months to accept that they weren't going to be like the other adults in my life."

"I was still cold and distant. I was angry all the time. I didn't want to let anyone in. I slept all the time and was depressed and the mood swings were awful. I fought her all the way but Maryse took me to see a shrink and they diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder. They decided I was going through a depressive stage and put me on medication to control it. I started going to therapy and learned how to control the constant agitation I felt. It was about a month later that I felt that I could finally get out of the house and that's when I started warming up to Alec and Izzy. They didn't understand what was wrong with me and had just been waiting for me to start acting like a normal human being so they could have another new friend to hang out with. They introduced me to you and Jon a few days later."

"That's shit, Jace. No little kid should have to go through that. I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize, C. It is what it is. I finally got my home where I'm safe and I don't have to worry about any of that shit anymore." He ran his hands through his hair. "There's more…but shit, it's really fucked up. No one knows and I didn't think I'd ever have to talk about it. Fuck! Talk about burying shit deep." He closed his eyes and sighed again, as if he were trying to work up the courage to get the words out. When he opened them again, I saw reluctance, sadness, and determination but mostly there was pain. I didn't know if I was prepared for what he was going to tell me.

"Jace, whatever you're going to say isn't anybody's business but yours. If you're determined to tell me, whatever, that's fine but know that me expecting you to be honest with me doesn't count when it comes to things from your past you're not comfortable talking about. As far as secrets go though, you don't have to worry about me telling anyone. Trust me, I'm the fucking queen of keeping secrets." One eyes met and he stared into me for a long moment. He scanned my face, I think just trying to decide if what he was going to say was worth getting into.

"I feel like you might be the only person who would understand." Finally making his decision, he took a deep breath and began.

When I was fourteen, at the end of eighth grade, my mother showed up at school. I don't know how she found me since she wasn't supposed to have access to that information but at the time, I didn't care. She was finally on meds and looked really healthy and good, better than she ever had. She told me how much she missed me and wished she could have me back but by that time, the adoption with the Lightwoods had been solidified for over two years. She told me she had her own place and asked me if I would come visit her from time to time."

"I loved my mom and now that she was better, I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. I would go to her house as often as I could. She baked for me, we watched old TV shows together and things were great, better than when I was a kid. It was like I had the best version of her back; only the good parts. Then after months, she gradually started to fall back into her old habits. She started whispering to herself. Talking about voices. Getting stuck in her own head and sleeping a lot. She was paranoid and seemed to be devoid of emotion. Where she was hugging me only a week or so before, she now couldn't handle the my touch at all. I fell back into my old habits as well of wanting to be the one who was there for her when no one else was. Of wanting to save her."

"Where I was only going a few days a week before, I started going everyday after school to take care of her; when I was supposed to be at piano lessons, when I was supposed to be at practice, when I was supposed to be watching Max. Robert and Maryse were gone all the time like they are now and didn't really know the difference but when they or Alec and Izzy did pay attention, I'm sure it looked like I was off fucking around. One day, I got there and my mom was going crazy, banging against the walls and mumbling about releasing the demons and giving them what they wanted. I had no idea what she was talking about and I tried to calm her down but the next thing I knew, she was on me and stabbed a needle into my neck. Whatever it was, it knocked me out. I fell to the floor and the crazed look on her face was the last thing I remembered before waking up in the bathtub. How she got me in there, I'll never know." He looked like he was having a tough time continuing. I wanted to hold him to comfort him but touch between us was still too much so I settled for patting him on the arm, garnering a grateful look from him.

"If this is too much-" He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face.

"I started, might as well finish." I hesitated for a moment, wondering if this was really the best idea but I didn't want to keep him from spilling if that's really what he needed.

"Okay, what happened in the bathroom?"

"Before I even opened my eyes, I realized I was paralyzed from the neck down. I couldn't move, C. God, this is so fucked," he said, rubbing his hands up and down his face again. He looked pained and I didn't think he was going to continue but I had a horrible feeling about what he was going to tell me and it was breaking my heart. I caressed his arm slowly, letting him know I was there for him. I could tell he was trying to hold his emotions in and I knew that feeling well. I knew if I had to relive certain things from my past, I'd be doing a much worse job than he was at keeping them contained.

"When I opened my eyes, she was literally, riding me, mumbling something about setting us free. She raped me. My own fucking mother raped me. Just thinking about it makes me feel disgusting." He cringed and looked away from me. "And then when she was done, she tried to drown me. I didn't even realize the tub was full of water, I was so out of it. At first, it was a losing battle. I couldn't pull my head above water because she was holding me down and I couldn't struggle with the rest of my body to get free. Right before I blacked out, the paralytic seemed to wear off slightly because I was able to get free from her grip and knock her out by hitting her head on the side of the bathtub. I blacked out moments later anyway but thank the Angel I was able to pull myself part way out of the tub before I did, otherwise I'd be dead."

"When I woke up, she was gone. I found my phone and saw it had been turned off. I was stoked when I tried to power it back on and saw that the battery wasn't dead. When the phone came on and I realized I'd been gone for over 39 hours, I flipped…but I had no phone calls, no text messages, nothing. I tried to tell myself everyone just thought I was doing my own thing and they were just giving me space but fuck it hurt that no one was worried about me at all. I thought I'd found the place where I belonged." He took a deep breath and continued.

"I made my way home and wanted to tell Maryse but she wasn't there yet again. Then when I really thought about it, I was so fucking embarrassed by what happened that I couldn't tell anyone so I never said anything. I started to really dwell on the fact that no one cared enough to wonder where I was and I just fucked my own head up really bad. After that, I started refusing to go to therapy. I stopped taking my meds. I figured I was just like my mother and if they weren't helping her, they would eventually stop working for me too so I'd better find a way to control that shit before I became too dependent. From then on, I couldn't trust any female that was close to me; being around them, having them so close felt dirty so I pushed them all away…you, Izzy, Maryse. I just couldn't handle it. Adults were a big no as well so Robert was out and Alec just kind of went naturally when you did except for on the football field."

"I started to enjoy the manic part of being bipolar instead of the depressive part. I engaged in reckless behavior and fucked…a lot. I pulled Jon down that road with me as well because I needed someone to be there and that helped a little until he became responsible for you. Then I started thinking of you as a nuisance which made me hate you even more than I did for being someone who could potentially hurt me. You were ruining the carefully crafted safety net I'd made for myself. I was living in an alternate reality where you were the bad guy."

"I had scattered thoughts and problems with decision making. I'd always had issues with sleep but it got much worse and I thought I was better than everyone else. Not gonna lie, I'm still dealing with these issues, not as bad but bad enough that I knew it was time to do something about it. I've had a lot of time to contemplate my behavior and what I've been doing, how I've been acting, it's not okay. It's a fuckin horror show in my head and sometimes it feels like I can't get out. I thought I could change on my own and I've been trying and it isn't working. I got back on the pills a couple of weeks ago and I'm working my way up to making myself go back to therapy. My pride and my fear kept me from asking for help for a long time but I know I don't have any choice anymore. Not if I want to have the kind of life I've been dreaming of."

He looked totally defeated and I felt like I had to do something about it. As much as I hated to admit it, he was much more brave than I was. Facing what happened to me was just way too unfathomable and I was pretty sure if I went there, I wouldn't make it back intact. I knew I was still broken but at least I was taped back together even if the cracks were still visible and I was really only one fall away from shattering into a million pieces again.

I didn't know what I was doing and I still wasn't completely comfortable but he'd just shared something with me that it probably killed him to relive and I felt like I almost needed the comfort as much as he did. I embraced him and held on for dear life for a good minute. I felt like I owed him after he gave me that part of himself because I did understand how grueling it was. I let go and looked at him, searching his face for any sign of tears but just like the self contained person he was, he didn't let any fall.

"You seem to be pretty well adjusted considering what happened to you. I mean don't get me wrong, you're still a major douche but I never would've guessed, I mean who would have but you just don't seem like you could've been damaged by something like that."

"I was in therapy for 4 years. You're not the only one who knows a little something about psychology. It's just buried. It'll always be there. But I saw you, over the summer and fuck, you were gorgeous and sexy as hell and then I found myself wanting you and it was what sorta started it all or at least put ideas in my head." I blanched at that. I wasn't interested in being with a man…ever…no matter how attractive they were, not anymore. I came to terms with the fact that I was going to have to tell Jace something about how things were in the only straight relationship I'd ever had.

"Jace, I need you to know we will _never_ be anything more than friends. Platonic friends. That's not what this is about for me. It's about trying to trust you enough to get my friend back."

"C, wait, you don-"

"No, Jace, let me finish. I can't be with any guy, it's not just you. I can't…when I was younger, I was in…I guess you'd call it a relationship, with an older guy. He was really sweet at first. He would pay attention to me and spend time with me even when his buddies were around. He made me feel special when…" I looked away, trying to figure out how to word it to keep him from feeling anymore guilty than he already did. "I didn't really have anybody else." Jace looked at me with enlightened eyes.

"Then he changed, he broke me down mentally and emotionally until I had such low self esteem that I would spend pretty much all my time with him because he had me convinced no one else would tolerate me. I was already feeling that way anyway and he just confirmed every fear I had. He got really aggressive and…he hurt me more than I can put into words." I blew out the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. "Anyway, he's not around anymore but it was kind of the same situation as your mom. He made me believe that he loved me and then used that love to ruin me. I'll never let myself be put into that situation again. I don't know how to love and I don't want to allow myself to try. It would be disastrous for all parties involved."

"Eventually, I hope you'll trust in me enough to tell me the whole story. I wish I could end the person who did that to you," he said, sincerely. "But you didn't let me finish before. What I was going to say was, yeah I found you incredibly attractive. I wanted you and you resisting just made me want you even more. I can't help that I enjoy the chase. But then I listened to what your friends had to say about you. I observed your interactions with other people. I tried to interact with you and even when you were verbally attacking me, I still enjoyed the banter. I slowly came around to the fact that despite wicked tongue lashings, you weren't going to hurt me. What I'm trying to say is that I realized I missed my friend and that was a difficult conclusion to come to."

"As long as we're being honest though, I still think you're hot as hell. I just know what the boundaries of friendship are now and know where we stand. Plus, I'd never want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. Not anymore. You're a gem in a world full of stones, C. Everyone else who knows you is aware, it just took me a little longer to catch up," he said, smiling at me. Jace Herondale, always the charmer, even after a conversation like the one we just had.

"I'm not sure how anyone sees a gem but if it's there, it's surely buried in a wall of rock." I didn't want to see the look on his face so I got back to working on my essay. After all that we'd learned about each other that day, it didn't feel like there was anything left to say. It was a good start to finding a way back to being friends. I knew one thing for sure, there was definitely more to his story than I originally thought. I decided to put my effort into becoming comfortable with Jace again and I had high hopes that this time, in the aftermath, I wouldn't have to pick up the pieces.

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	20. Real Friends

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 **Important A/N - Please Read:** Hello, my faithful readers. First, I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or favorited my story. I have hit over 100 favorites and passed the 200 follower mark. I have also gotten some really sweet reviews and PMs from a lot of you and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it. Y'all are the best and I hope you continue to stick with me.

That being said, I'm sorry this chapter is so late. I planned on getting this out in November before taking a break for the holidays and those of you who follow my other stories got a warning but I apologize for just disappearing. I got really sick and was out for almost a month and then I had a bunch of Christmas stuff to do, not to mention the holidays are the busiest time for me at work. You know what? We're just gonna sum it up by saying life got in the way…so without further ado, here is the next chapter in the journey.

P.S. I am co-authoring a couple Clace stories with **MissesHermioneMalfoy**. Check out Tempting Fate and The Heroine Addict's Downfall (Reworked and Rewritten). She's a great writer so be sure to check out her other stuff too, especially if you're a Clonathan/Clebastian shipper. Also, shoutout to **SereneCalamity** for being amazing and always there to talk about everything and nothing and also to **Julmclay** for being such a caring friend who makes writing this stuff just a little bit easier.

 **Trigger Warning:** This chapter mentions some specifics related to suicide. If this is a trigger for you, read at your own risk. My story is about real issues and will occasionally be discussing topics such as this. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, I strongly urge you to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress. **Call 1-800-273-8255.**

~reppinda5o3

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Kanye West - Real Friends***

 ***Red Hot Chili Peppers - Scar Tissue***

 ***blink-182 - Adam's Song***

 **Late November 2015**

 _ **C POV**_

Alec and I were wrestling on the floor in my room. He thought he had a good grip on me but I quickly flipped him over onto his back and pinned him down with my knees on his arms.

"Fuck, C. Couldn't you let me win at least once? A man has his pride you know," he said, laughing.

"Whatever. That's what you get for taking on a chick who lives for this stuff. If this were lacrosse, you'd be kicking my ass but it's not so suck it up, Buttercup. You have to win it fair and square. You shall not get a pity win from me." I stood and held my hand out to him to help him up but rather than getting up off the floor, he pulled me down on top of him and held me in a headlock where he proceeded to repeatedly drag his knuckles back and forth over my head, turning my straightened locks into a rat's nest

"Oh, it's on now, dick. You fucked with the hair." I broke the tight grasp he had around my neck by biting his arm and then flipped him onto his stomach, locking his arm and leg into a hold. He struggled for a few minutes before seemingly giving up the fight. He was a strong fucker, I'd give him that. He had to be to play football and lacrosse like he did.

"Alright, I give. You win. Come on, let go." I was hesitant because when Alec and I were play fighting, we expected each other to fight dirty but we'd been at it for twenty-five minutes straight and I needed a break. I stupidly released him without making sure he knew that I really had to take a timeout. Before I knew it, he had me on the ground underneath him and was tickling me to death.

"Fuck…Alec…stop…please…I surrender…I have to pee." He finally let me go and I quickly got up to run to the bathroom. When I came back, he was sitting on my couch, lazily looking through one of my kickboxing magazines.

"You down to smoke?"

"Of course," he responded. I used my grinder to grind up some bud real quick and rolled up a blunt. I sealed and then burnt it to dry it out a little before lighting it up. I glanced at Alec and noticed him watching me. He and I had been friends more than long enough for me to know that he had something to get off his chest. I took two hits and passed to him before putting my feet up on the table and folding my arms across my chest.

"Okay, out with it, Alec. I know you've got something to say."

"You know, you're way too observant for your own good." He took a hit and ran his hand through his hair, the telltale sign that he was anxious or frustrated. "Look, I wanna talk to you about something serious and I don't want you to turn into Satan on my ass. I'm just trying to look out for you."

"First of all, fuck you. And you're stalling. Spill." He paused for a moment to take another hit before giving me a long look.

"Just…are you sure that being friends with Jace is the best idea? It's been bugging me and I needed to say something. He hurt you so much and I was witness to how bad he treated you. The things he's said to you and about you to other people were awful. I just don't want to see you close yourself off again. It took me forever to get you back the first time," he reminded. He handed the blunt back to me.

I'd been spending quite a bit of time with Jace lately. He'd been coming over just to chill almost everyday and not just with Jon. We'd watch movies or do our homework together. We did a lot of talking about everything and nothing. We'd even started running together in the morning before school. I was still pretty cautious and didn't open up too much but I felt like he was being honest with me and that went a long way to help with my trust issues. Spending time with Jace meant spending less time with Alec though. He refused to hang out with us because he hadn't forgiven Jace for how he treated me and made it pretty obvious that was the case.

"Let's be real, Alec. I'm fucked up from a lot more than what Jace did to me, we both know that. But yeah, he did make things pretty difficult when he could've helped." Alec nodded, as if I was proving his point however, that wasn't my intention at all. I needed him to understand without giving away information that wasn't mine to give. We continued to pass the blunt back and forth.

"What good does it do me to stay pissed at him? He apologized. He seems like he sincerely wants to be friends. He's changed considerably over the last month and after everything I've learned about him from the talks we've had, I have to believe that something good is happening to him. There are a lot of things that I wish I'd known before and maybe things would've been different? I don't know. Nothing excuses the way he acted towards me but I have to give him the benefit of the doubt because I just don't have the energy or will to push him away anymore," I explained.

"I still don't trust him. Maybe I never will again. I don't know. It's hard for me to let go with you. I just can't risk losing you again and anything that threatens to take you away kills me."

"You don't have to worry," I said, launching myself at him and tackling him back on the couch. "I'm not the same person I was either. I've done a lot of the good kind of growing up," I readjusted the cuffs that I was always adorned with. "I'm not planning on going anywhere." I grabbed his face and made him look me in the eyes. "If you don't trust him, trust me. I didn't just jump into this. It took a lot of thought and serious consideration. I can forgive him for what he did but you know it'll be awhile before I can let my guard down…and no matter how good of friends we become, he'll never be you." I placed a light kiss on his lips and laid my head on his chest.

A lot of people who saw me and Alec would say that it looked like we were a couple but we were just best friends who were really affectionate with each other. It took Mags some getting used to, especially since the first time he met me, he walked in on my wrapped around Alec like a vine but once people were around us for a while, they eventually got it.

Alec squeezed me tightly and we just laid there for a moment. He kissed the top of my head. "You know I only worry because I love you." I looked up at him before snuggling back into his chest. "Yeah I know. I love you too, Alec." I quickly looked up at him again as an idea came to me. He looked down at me, apprehensively.

"I'm not gonna like this, am I?" I quickly sat up, him joining me on the opposite side on the sofa.

"Just hear me out. Wouldn't you feel less out of control if you just hung out with us?" He scowled. "Think about it. Right now, we're losing time together because Jace is around all the time and you don't want to be around him. But you need to start mending fences with him. I know you're mad but you're mad about what he did to me. There's no reason for you to stay mad at him for that. If I can forgive him, so can you…and you'll feel so much lighter when you just let shit go, believe me." I smiled up at him, he looked at me, skeptically. I decided to try anther tactic. "He told me you guys played basketball together a couple months ago. Why can't we do things like that, like the three of us?"

"Yeah, that was before, when I knew you hated the guy and I didn't have to worry about you getting close to him." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair again. "It's hard, C. We get along fine when there's sports involved but he's not someone I _want_ to spend time with just for the hell of it. I know the kind of person he is and I do try to act like his brother but we're not friends and I don't know that we ever can be again. He hurt me when he hurt the most important person in my life and I really don't know if I can let that go," Alec explained. "And not gonna lie, I kinda feel like he's taking my place and I don't like it." He wouldn't meet my eyes but the tips of his ears turned a little red. I wanted to give him shit for it but held my tongue. My BFFL was possessive and it was so adorable.

"No one will ever replace you, Alec. I told you. He will never be you. You're way too important to me to let anyone come between us." I placed a small kiss on his chin. "But I don't know that I can do this without you. I'm stepping into completely new territory here. You know how hard it is for me to trust guys, especially in a situation like this. I could really use your support. Please?" I fluttered my eyelashes at the man who could never say no to me.

"Fuuuuuuck. Fine. I'll think about it but I'm not promising anything." He looked thoughtful for a moment and then quietly said, "It would be a lot easier if he knew what happened. If you told him what happened to you. You said you're trying to learn to trust him. Maybe this is how you do it. Trust him not to hurt you by showing him the reasons you don't trust in the first place."

I had been debating it for a long time; thought about it both before and after we became friends. I had almost spewed it at him a thousand times, like acid during so many arguments that we'd had, hoping to make him feel guilt or remorse or something. Maybe even just to make him stop his horrible behavior toward me but the problem was that it was my burden. What happened to me wasn't because of Jace. It wasn't his fault that I was weak…and that was a weakness that I didn't want anyone else to know about. I was ashamed and I had every reason to be but I wasn't her anymore…that girl, the one who let life and her own bad choices beat her into nonexistence. But maybe Alec was right. Did it matter if he knew now? Would he use it as ammunition? Could it even hurt me anymore?

"I can't. I know you're probably right but I just don't think I can go through that. We're not at a point that I can be that vulnerable in front of him and having to explain that would strip me completely bare, Alec. I could barely talk about it with you if you asked and I trust you more than anyone in the world. " I looked at him, regrettably, willing him to understand. He gave me a small smile showing that he recognized what I meant. "If you want tell him, I'd be fine with it." He went to interrupt me. "I know you're gonna say that it's not your story to tell but this is legitimately something I'm not ready to do. If you think it helps to protect me for him to know, then I trust your judgement and I'll agree with you but please don't make me be the one to tell him." He nodded and pulled me back over onto his chest where we just laid silently for a while. I was so warm and comfortable that I was about to doze off when Alec spoke again.

"You know, for a chick that has issues with trusting guys, you sure are surrounded by a lot of them." He sighed, blowing out a large breath of air. "I like just you and me time and I know we chill as a group too but I don't like to share my Gem, my Precious," he said, cuddling me tightly and playfully placing kisses all over my head. I laughed a full belly laugh. Calling me a gem seemed to be a pattern lately.

"Gem, huh? Cute. But the Lord of the Rings, Gollum reference is a bit creepy, ya weirdo. I wonder how many people know how much of a nerd you are," I said, still giggling.

"No one but you, Gem, and we're gonna keep it that way," he said, attacking me with tickles once again.

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

A few hours later, after playing video games and stuffing our faces with junk food, Alec left to meet up with Mags and I was on my own. I had no idea what to do with the rest of my day. Everyone was off doing different things. Simon was working. Jace and Jon were at the Go Kart place and had been gone since a few minutes after I hauled my ass downstairs this morning.

I decided to throw on a cut off Goldfinger tee shirt and some boy shirts since I wasn't going anywhere else and put on some random Netflix show in the background. I laid back on my bed, and thought about what Alec had said earlier. He was completely right, I did surround myself with guys. I had no definitive idea why but I guessed maybe it was the fact that even though I didn't need protecting, It was nice that I had so many guys around that had my back, just in case. I'd rather have a big strong man with me than against me any day and really, it probably all came down to that. Besides, if I actually found a chick who wanted to get sweaty or skateboard or go to punk shows, I'd probably want to date her so yeah, that presented a problem when trying to find girls to just hang out with.

Around five, I heard a knock on my door and after telling whoever it was to come in, Jace came sauntering in. We had gotten much more comfortable with each other and it no longer felt like he was invading my space.

"Hey, what are you doing here? I thought this was your 'Jon time'?"

"Yeah, well, he got boring and you lie around your room in tiny pajamas. I think you win." I picked my pillow up and threw it at him but he easily dodged. He laughed as I huffed in irritation.

"I'm just messing with you…well sorta, I am a guy after all." I really was coming around to the fact that he wasn't trying to get in my pants but he made no attempts to hide the fact that he found me attractive. I appreciated his honesty and even though it still made me a little uncomfortable, I knew our friendship was moving along in the right direction. It was still a bit awkward at times and I wasn't at the point where I was completely at ease but we were getting there. We just needed time. "Jon had plans with Izzy so guy time is officially over and I saw Alec leave just as we were getting back from karting. I figured, eh…why not come bother my favorite redhead?"

"Hmmm…your favorite redhead, huh? Wonder what I did to graduate to favorite so quickly. I mean, there's Amber and Ginger from the cheerleading squad, Whitney from the soccer team, Amy from the basketball team, Vicki from the-"

"You know that sleeping with someone doesn't mean they have any significance in my life, right? Although, that's one habit I don't see myself giving up no matter how many pills they put me on." I rolled my eyes, trying not to catch his attention but he saw it anyway. It wasn't my business what he did. He could live his life any way he wanted and it was my job as a friend to be supportive as long as it made him happy. If I was honest with myself, it didn't sound too terrible. Obviously, relationships weren't working for me but I didn't know how to do what Jace did. As I was contemplating all of this in my head, he continued. "And none of those girls are my _favorite_ redheads because they don't know anything about me. They don't know me like you do. They aren't important to me but you are," he smiled and plopped himself down on the couch closest to my bed with his feet up. I smiled back at him.

"Oh," I said, surprised by his answer and sarcastically replied, "Well, I'm honored Mr. Herondale. I will do my best to remain in your good favor."

"I don't think you'll have to try very hard." Jace smirked and then picked up an old Kickboxing magazine from a smaller stack on the side of my table.

Flipping through it quickly, he said, "So, you're really good at this kickboxing stuff, yeah? I took karate for a year at the YMCA before I was adopted by the Lightwoods. I'm not very good but I know how to defend myself." He flipped through a few more pages until he stopped on something that made his eyes bulge. "Wow, I didn't know you were _that_ good," he said, showing me an article with a picture of me wearing a silver medal. "Can I come to the gym and watch you sometime? See what you could've done to me if you weren't such a good person."

"I'm not that great of a person, Jace. I just don't believe in using violence unless necessary." I saw the incredulous look on his face. "and yeah, the slap I gave you was necessary, pervert. Maybe I should take you to the gym…so you can see what I'll be doing to you the next time you walk into my room without knocking," I admonished, trying not to smile at his reaction.

"Yeah, okay but I still say the slap was worth it," he admitted, with a half smile. Some things were inherent personality traits and I had learned that one of those traits for Jace was that he was a serious flirt. You either learned to live with someone's personality or you didn't. I figured I could live with the flirting.

The bright side was that I didn't have to worry about him being weirded out when I talked about chicks like I did with Alec or Jon and I would always have a straight guy around to provide their honest opinion about how I looked before I went out. I was coming to realize that there was a silver lining to everything, sometimes you just had to look really hard to find it.

 _ **Jace POV**_

It was Wednesday night and I was in my room at home, doing schoolwork for English. I needed to finish up my character analysis of Oedipus which was meant to be turned in with C's but we each had to give our own opinion in two separate papers. I wanted to at least work on them together but it was C's night for band practice so I was on my own.

I had my headphones on and was listening to Authority Zero, the Andiamo album that I'd gotten into from shuffling through bands on C's music cloud. I'd been systematically going through it since she told me I needed a music education. I realized rather quickly after checking out all the genres and artists she had that previously, my scope of the music world was very narrow. As far as her favorite genre was concerned, I was used to listening to bands like blink-182, The Offspring and Yellowcard but that was barely punk in the grand scheme of things. I always just assumed that if I ventured into anything more heavy, I wouldn't like it because it would be more like noise than music however, I found not only some amazing punk bands, but I branched off into ska punk and then just ska music, which was quickly becoming my favorite. I found tons of other varieties of music that I never would've thought to listen to. She actually had really eclectic taste, venturing into blues, classical, opera, oldies and hip hop. Fuck, the hip hop blew my mind. She was really into the art of storytelling rather than the top hits.

The Bad Religion concert was coming up in less than a month and I really wanted to go but C hadn't talked about it since her and Alec made plans to go. I knew they'd gotten their tickets a couple months ago but I didn't just wanna invite myself now that I was into a couple of the bands that were gonna be there. I mean, I could go to any concert I wanted, really. It was a free country but I wanted to go with her. I liked spending time with her and how much fun was it to go to a concert by yourself? The show had sold out within a couple weeks of tickets being released but I knew a guy who knew a guy and he managed to find a ticket for me. I just had to find a way to bring it up without being too obvious. Fuck, navigating this friendship thing was hard.

I was just changing over to the White Crosses album by Against Me! when I heard a knock at my door. Before I could say anything, the door opened and Alec walked in. I fucking hated it when people just walked into my space without my permission. It didn't matter who it was. I still had some issues with that shit and I didn't think _that_ one was just gonna go away. I took off my headphones.

"It helps to wait until someone actually says 'enter' before you just invade their personal space," I threw at him.

"Right now, I need to talk to you about something and I don't have enough patience to argue with you about entering your sanctuary or listen to your snarky attitude." Since I'd been hanging out with C, things between Alec and I had been even more strained than usual. I had a feeling I knew what his problem was but he was just going to have to deal with giving up some of her time. He didn't have the monopoly on her friendship anymore.

"Refer back to my previous comment. Maybe then you could avoid the snark and attitude."

"Can I talk now?"

"Oh, now you're asking for permission to do things?"

"Fuck, I don't understand how she can even stand to be around you. You're fucking impossible."

"What is it exactly that bothers you so much about us hanging out, Alec? Am I taking away too much of your time? Are you jealous that we have our own little world that you're not a part of?

"Fuck you, Jace. You could never be the friend that I've been to C. You weren't there for her when she completely shattered. You didn't have to be the glue that held those pieces back together so you don't understand shit and I won't let you break her again. I can't let you break her again." I looked at him with wide eyes. He wasn't just pissed. There was also pleading behind his anger. He really couldn't stand the thought of her going through anymore pain. What he didn't realize was that I couldn't stand it either.

I was trying to put it behind me. She kept trying to convince me that we needed to put it behind us because in order to have a friendship now, we had to leave our past exactly where it was, in our past. However, it was really hard when situations were popping up all the time to remind me of how much of an asshole I was. I was perfectly aware, no reminders needed.

I knew I wasn't the only cause of whatever happened to her but I should've been there. I should've done everything I could've done to protect her. She was my friend and I stranded her, took away her brother and left her in the dust.

By some miracle, she'd chosen to forgive me. I figured I wasn't out of the woods yet but I could live with it as long as I could be back in her life. She didn't realize that even though she tried to hide in the clouds, she was the fucking sun and it was nearly impossible to stay away from her. She drew people in. I shoved her way down into the recesses of my mind for so long but despite the shadows, every once in a while, I would get a glimpse of that light and had to push it back down again just to keep myself away from her.

"Alec, I don't want to hurt her. That's the last thing I want. Don't you know that she's the sun? I'm in the shadows and she's the fucking sun."

"I've always known she was amazing but the fact that you all the sudden just figured out how special she is makes me concerned about your intentions. Not to mention your very short attention span. I need to know that this isn't just a game for you; that you're not just going to get sick of her and walk away again. She has demons that still haunt her and she needs people in her corner that are going to keep them away, not turn into the demons themselves and take what she has left."

"Everyone keeps telling me about all this bad shit she went through. I can tell it's true because I can tell how hesitant she is. Her issues with trust are palpable but why the fuck won't anyone tell me what happened? How can I keep her from getting hurt if I don't know what I'm trying to keep her safe from?" I was getting fucking desperate. I'd been trying to get her to talk about it since I spilled my guts to her but she apparently wasn't ready to talk about what happened and Jon wouldn't tell me anything. I was hoping that Alec would at least give me something because even though I respected C's privacy, I felt like I needed to know what I was dealing with.

"Look, it's really not my place to tell you but you need to know how serious this is. It's not playtime, Jace. This is her life. The life of someone who is precious to me and if you ruin her, I will fucking bury you," he said menacingly. I just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. I didn't need to prove my sincerity to Alec. Yes, I missed my brother but I'd never done anything to him personally. I knew C was his weakness so I got the whole overprotective big brother thing but I wasn't going to cower to him.

"Yeah, I get all that and I don't plan on hurting her so just tell me. What happened?"

"Fuck, this is so fucked up." Alec sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He stared off into space for a moment and took a deep breath before turning back to me. "This stays between you and me. Jon can't know and neither can anyone else. If he found out, he'd feel even more guilty and she doesn't want that." He rubbed his face with his hands. "C was dating some guy for a while. Apparently the guy didn't want anyone to know, which I told her was a bad sign but you know how fucking stubborn she is. He supposedly treated her really well at first and was kind of an escape from all the bullshit she was dealing with at the time but he eventually turned into a total prick. He used to get really rough with her and she would cover the bruises I guess. I don't know. I never saw them until the day she wound up in the ICU."

"The day of Sebastian's funeral, Jon got a call and we had to leave early…that was a call telling him C was in the hospital. She was beat up pretty bad but that wasn't the reason she was there. She slit her wrists. She actually tried to end her life. Now I don't know what happened to her in the twenty-four hours before she ended up in that hospital room but I know she felt alone and abandoned enough to want to go to sleep and never wake up. I spent a lot of time looking after Max back then because mom and dad never used to take him with them when they traveled. When I did see her, she would act like everything was fine and change the subject. You and Jon made it a point to ditch her and made her feel like a disease that you couldn't get away from fast enough. Izzy just went on with her life, as self involved as ever and basically just fazed her out. We all pretty much left her behind which I've had to come to terms with myself."

"I guess there were some strange loud noises coming from the house, enough for the neighbors to call the cops. She lost so much blood before the ambulance got there that they didn't think they were going to be able to save her." At that point, he had tears in his eyes. I had never seen my brother cry before but it was humbling. My throat was so dry I could hardly swallow. "They kept her for the normal seventy-hour psychiatric hold and when they deemed she wasn't a danger to herself or anyone else, they released her into Jon and Mom's custody since she has the Parental Responsibility Agreement with Jocelyn and Luke, who were both in Europe at the time. When we got her home from the hospital, she wouldn't speak, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't bathe. I took care of her. Mom would come check on her to make sure she was healing but Jon had no idea what to do. His guilt was eating him alive and he was totally lost. It seemed like forever before anything changed but you know what her first words were when she finally decided to speak a little over a month later? She said 'they should've let me die'. We got her into therapy and she started seeing Joe and slowly but surely, she started to come back. She went back to school but she was still broken, for a long time. To this day, I've still never gotten the entire story. I'm not even sure if her therapist knows everything that happened. Anyway, eventually she came back and she's stronger now, I can tell but she grew up too fast in ways she shouldn't have had to. But I can't let anything like that happen again. I can't let anything touch her. Not physically, not emotionally, nothing. I can't watch her go through that. It nearly killed me the first time so don't fucking hurt her Jace. Do. Not. Fuck. with my girl."

I felt like I couldn't breath. The room was closing in on me and I had to get out. I could faintly hear Alec talking to me but I couldn't make out a word he was saying. I was on my knees in front of the toilet, throwing up the contents of my stomach before I realized what had happened. I almost died at the hands of my mother and I had learned to live with that but C…she actually wanted to take her own life? That I couldn't deal with. The fact that I could've been there. Maybe I might've been able to help her. I didn't know how I would stop myself from feeling guilty before. That feat would be nearly impossible now…and I had a feeling that there was a lot more to her story. I didn't know how I would handle hearing the rest but I knew I would never abandon her again.

 ** _Don't Forget To Review For A Preview!_**


	21. Coming Together

****These characters are not mine. They belong to lovely miss Cassandra Clare. Only this crazy, twisted plot is my demon spawn. Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for reading!******

~ _ **Remember…this shit is rated M for a reason~**_

 ***Chapter Music***

 ***Lupe Fiasco - Kick, Push***

 ***Van Halen - Runnin' With The Devil***

 ***Warrant - Cherry Pie***

 ***Rita Ora ft. Cardi B, Bebe Rexha & Charli XCX** **\- Girls***

 ***Pharrell Williams - Happy***

 ***NEEDTOBREATHE (Feat. Gavin DeGraw) - Brother***

 _AN: TWO THINGS TO MY LOVELY READERS._

 _ **NUMERO UNO-**_ _I HAVE A LOVELY NEW BETA FOR THIS STORY WHO IS HELPING ME OUT. I HAVE BEEN A BETA BUT NEVER HAD ONE OF MY OWN SO THIS IS A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME. I APPRECIATE THE EFFORT IT TAKES TO EDIT SOMEONE ELSE'S WORK SO SUPER BIG SHOUTOUT TO_ _ **BELLEBOOKWORM9**_

 _ **NUMERO DOS-**_ _I POSTED A NEW CLACE STORY CALLED_ _ **SET FIRE TO THE RAIN**_ _(YES, I KNOW. ME AND MY ADELE SONG STORY NAMES). PLEASE GO CHECK IT OUT. IT'S GOOD STUFF. SECOND CHAPTER WAS JUST POSTED TODAY AS WELL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY. MORE TO COME._

 **LATE NOVEMBER - EARLY DECEMBER 2015**

 _ **J POV**_

"Come on, Jace. You can do it," C yelled as I tried for what felt like the fiftieth time to land a perfect Pop Shove-It.

She and Alec made it look so easy but I was still on beginner shit as they were both tearing up the park doing kickflips and hardflips. I was pretty sure all I was doing was heading down the path of breaking my ankle but this was their thing and I wanted to be a part of it.

Alec had warmed up to me slightly over the past couple weeks. He wasn't super talkative but at least he wasn't shunning me or yelling. I would definitely describe it as tolerance but that was alright with me. At least I was no longer driving a wedge between him and C. She hadn't said anything but I knew it bothered her that we weren't able to be in the same room together. It was mostly him being overprotective but after our talk, I completely understood where he was coming from and if the roles were reversed, I would've acted the same way. Didn't mean I appreciated the treatment, just that I knew the reason behind it and because of that, I could deal.

I attempted the trick and ended up landing on my ass…again.

"You know, I don't think I'm made for this skateboarding thing. My legs just don't move the right way." C walked over to me and picked up the board she'd given me to practice on, inspecting it for I didn't know what.

"Well, the board looks fine. Trucks are good. You figured out the Ollie pretty quickly so you must be doing something differently. I think you might be overcompensating with your back leg. It's throwing your timing off. Here, watch me again." And then C executed a perfect Pop Shove-It, making it look like it took no skill at all.

I grabbed the board with new determination as Alec rolled up and tipped his board to watch. I tried to gain some speed and then managed to flip the board and actually land back on top of it without so much as a wrench to my ankle. I came to a stop a little ways away from them.

"See, told you that you could do it. Just takes practice."

"I'm used to being good at everything. I'm not the kind of person who _needs_ to practice," I whined.

"Wow, arrogant much? Guess there's a first time for everything, ass. Come on, we'll never get to teach you the hard stuff if you don't get good at the easy stuff. _Practice_ for mere mortals does make perfect. Get to it," She said, skating off to the half pipe with Alec right behind her.

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

I was pacing myself but I knew this was still a race. It had been every morning for weeks. We woke up every day at five-thirty and ran for five miles. Our best time was twenty-nine minutes. C and I pushed each other and made a great team. Previously, my best time had been thirty-two minutes so I had her to thank for whipping my ass into shape.

"Keep up, old man," she giggled as she sprinted to get in front of me, cutting me off.

"I'm not that much older than you, little girl. Remember that we'll both be in the nursing home at the same time. You definitely won't be outrunning anyone then," I countered.

We were actually pretty evenly matched. She was smaller and more agile but I had longer legs and my stride showed it. I had to be honest with myself though. I tended to let her pull a little ahead of me because her ass looked fucking amazing in the tight shorts she wore to run in. It was freezing outside and she was still wearing them, albeit with a heavy sweatshirt, beanie and gloves but still, she was showing my teenage hormones no mercy. I knew I wasn't supposed to be looking at her that way but shit, my _friend_ was fucking hot and no matter how much I planned on keeping our relationship platonic, that didn't stop me from ogling when I could do it discreetly. There were even times when she noticed but it seemed like she'd grown used to it and just looked at me like a little kid who'd been caught with their hand in the cookie jar before moving on.

We made it back to my house at a little after six and we worked out there, which had also become part of our morning routine. I'd started going with C to the gym on the days I didn't have football practice or after we were done if she was still there so I could watch her kick the shit out of Eli which was always a good time. She would come hang out at practice sometimes and sketch while waiting for the guys and I to finish for the day. The only thing she refused to let me crash was band practice. Apparently, even Alec didn't have that privilege which I found weird since he was like her other half. She said it was because she couldn't handle anyone outside of the music messing up the creative process. She didn't want anyone to hear her songs until they were polished so I respected that. As long as she wasn't shy about sharing the finished product. She had the most amazing voice and that would've been a travesty to hide from the world.

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

I walked into my History class, early for once, and sat down in my normal seat at the back of the class. My homework from the previous night was in my bag so I was digging it out when someone sat down next to me. I looked up to see a long pair of tan legs leading to a very short olive green skirt. I scanned further and was met with a line of flat stomach and an amazing rack. Continuing up, the face matched the incredible body. Long, loose black curls with brown eyes. Those cherry red lips and long eyelashes were designed to pull you in. She was obviously new. I would've already had that screaming my name otherwise.

"Hey, I hope this seat isn't taken," she said, crossing her legs under the desk. My eyes followed the motion.

"It is now. Hey, I'm Jace," I said, holding out my hand.

"You want to shake my hand? Really?" She raised her eyebrow at me, in a mixture of skepticism and disbelief even though she offered her hand anyway.

"No. Quería besar la mano de la bella mujer que recientemente me llamó la atención," I replied with my signature smirk as I turned it over and placed my lips on her soft skin.

She giggled and asked, "What did you just say?"

"I simply said that there is nothing like kissing the hand of a beautiful woman." I winked, laying on the charm.

"That is so sexy. I bet that works for you every time, doesn't it? Damn." She bit her lip and smiled. "I'm Magda. I just moved here," she said, placing her hand in mine. She had a firm grip, just like C's.

"Nice to meet you. I figured you were new. You're definitely not someone I would've passed up the opportunity to get to know." Her face lit up. Right then class started but when we got our instructions for the day, we happened to be assigned a partner project and I wasted no time in asking Magda to join me. The rest of our time was spent working on our assignment and flirting. By the time class was over, I had her phone number and a plan to conquer the new territory.

 _ **C POV**_

I was in position, throwing punch after punch at the bag. Eli had just finished his set and was heading to go lift weights, which was where I'd just left. Our trainers didn't want us working out together. Even though we were cool with each other, Eli and I were both extremely competitive. Everything turned into a contest and when we exercised next to each other, we would go so hard that it was generally inevitable that someone would get hurt.

When we sparred though, there really was no better fight to watch, at least not at our gym. I took him down more times than not but he was a formidable opponent and I couldn't have asked for anyone better to go up against to help prepare myself for an upcoming World Classic event. He of course entered as well but under a different category and since he was a guy and in a different weight class, we wouldn't ever end up having to fight.

I was starting to add knees and kicks into my routine when I felt a presence next to me. I didn't bother to look; I was in the zone and didn't want any interruptions. I kicked the bag particularly hard and it shook, almost coming off the stand.

"Holy shit you have strong leg muscles. Makes me a little concerned for anyone's head who ends up between them." I turned to the side and was met with one of the hottest chicks I'd seen in a long while smirking at me. Aline was beautiful, I admitted grudgingly, but this gorgeous girl was like "could be on the cover of a magazine" hot. Black curls, deep brown eyes and the longest eyelashes I'd ever seen. She was about five foot seven or eight with tan skin and a thick body like Christina Hendricks. I looked pretty good but damn…this girl could definitely give me a run for my money.

"Uh, yeah. I kickbox and do Muay Thai. Kinda have to keep in shape to do well at World's." She slowly looked my body up and down salaciously, biting her lip.

"Well, you're definitely keeping yourself fit. That body looks like it can do some amazing things." Okay, she was definitely hitting on me. It hadn't been a super long time since Aline and I broke up but I wasn't resistant to putting myself back out there. Maybe a little hesitant because I'd never been cheated on before and no matter how confident a person you were, it was a hit to the ego. She however, may have been worth the risk.

"Coming from someone with that body?…I'll take that as a compliment. ¡Mierda! Puedo morir como una mujer feliz," I said quietly, checking her out as well. "I'm C."

"Wow, all the hot ones seem to speak foreign languages here," she giggled, obviously hearing me and damn she was gorgeous. "I'm Magda," she announced, placing her hand in mine. "I just moved here." I had no idea what she was talking about when she said all the hot ones spoke foreign languages, but I'd take it.

"Nice to meet you. I'm not trying to be rude or anything but I have to get back to my warm ups or my trainer will kill me and you're really…distracting." She smiled at my comment.

"Oh, don't worry, I won't distract you. I'll just stand over here and…watch," she retorted, suggestively. I smirked at her and got back to punching and kicking the bag. Twenty minutes later, I was done and when I turned around, she was still there. I was covered in a thin sheen of sweat but she didn't seem to mind as her eyes roamed over me.

"Now I get to go kick the shit out of the guy up there in the ring. You're welcome to watch that too, if you like?"

A sly smile came over her face. "Wouldn't miss it."

I climbed in the ring and began to put on all my gear. It wouldn't have been a match between Eli and I if we didn't talk a little trash.

"Prepare for the beating of your life."

"You wish, pretty girl."

"Awww…thanks, Eli. I appreciate the compliment. Now this 'pretty girl' is gonna lay your ass out."

My first move was to land two kicks to his side. Eli tried to block but wasn't quick enough. He then landed a punch to my gut. We circled each other for a while, landing kicks and blows here and there. I kneed him in the stomach and as he was recovering, I landed a punch to his kidney. He backed up to give himself some time to catch his breath and as soon as he moved toward me again, he tried to land a kick to my head. Immediately after his leg went up, I grabbed the opposite leg, landed a hard punch to his chest and slammed him to the ground. He tapped and that was the end of our fight.

I reached out to help him up off the mat but he waived me away, indicating that he planned on staying down there for a while. I moved out of the ring, removing my gear as I headed toward the locker room but I had forgotten I had an audience.

"That was amazing, C. I can't believe the way you took him down. He must have nearly seven to eight inches and like a hundred pounds on you. Totally fucking hot," she uttered, with a glint in her eyes. She followed me back to the locker room and grabbed her phone as I was grabbing a clean set of clothes. "Can I have your number? So we can…hang out sometime?" she asked, appraising me yet again. She wasn't very subtle and I looked a mess and felt disgusting so I wasn't sure what she was finding so attractive at the moment but I gave her my number anyway. She called my phone which went off in my bag, signaling that I also had hers too. "Listen, I have to go and get some actual workout time in," her sly grin was back, "but I'll talk to you later, k?" I agreed and she was off to go back out and finish her own exercise routine. I stripped off my sweaty sports bra and shorts and hopped in the shower.

When I got home, Jace was waiting for me and we snuggled up under a blanket on the couch with a bowl of popcorn between us, ready to watch movies. We'd had a lot of these recently, whether on school nights or on the weekends. Sometimes our other friends would join us but more often than not, it ended up just being me and Jace. I was on board with his Quentin Tarantino obsession with the exception of Kill Bill. This was always a point of contention between us because Jace swore it was one of the best and I vehemently disagreed. We'd spent a lot of time watching and rewatching the small collection that was Tarantino but I didn't mind because we also spent a lot of time watching and rewatching the small collection that was Rob Zombie.

Jace finally understood my love for his movies after I made him watch the remakes of Halloween 1 & 2 but still didn't really understand the poetic irony behind The Devil's Rejects so I gave up on that one. That night, I just so happened to be in a Leonardo DiCaprio mood. He was probably my favorite actor and I loved almost every one of his movies. Jace? Yeah, not such a big fan. At least he'd seen Django Unchained but Mr. DiCaprio would've been the last thing he would've been paying attention to.

It took a lot of persuading to get him to sit through the first movie but by the time Blood Diamond was over, he was sold. I got him to watch both The Wolf of Wall Street and The Departed and after that, he was starting to become a big Leo fan himself.

"Okay, I concede. Leonardo DiCaprio is a good actor. I just remember Izzy fangirling over him when she discovered Romeo + Juliet and after having to sit through that for probably the hundredth time, it didn't take much more to write the guy off."

"Well, glad you're on board now because we have so many more movies to watch. Next up are Inception and my personal favorite, Gangs of New York but there are some other really great ones too. I can't believe you didn't watch any of the man's movies just because Izzy liked to watch one on repeat when she was a kid."

"What can I say? I'm a complicated guy."

"Understatement of the century," I retorted right before he started to attack me with tickles.

"Jace…stop…oh my god…stop…please…don't…make me…hurt you."

"How are you going to-" Before he could finish his sentence, I had him flipped off of the couch and on his back on the floor, straddling his neck with his arms held down by my knees. I needed him to know that there was no way he was going to manhandle me and get away with it.

"Still doubting my skill?" I asked from above him. He was speechless for a moment and he seemed to be breathing deeply. He swallowed hard before answering. I immediately lifted my body off of his, understanding it probably wasn't the best position, considering my crotch was directly in Jace's face.

"No, not at all. Shit, that was hot."

"Yeah, well don't make me give you a repeat performance."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he countered as we both dragged ourselves back onto the couch. "I'm gonna do my best to irritate you as much as possible now in hopes that you do that again." I shoved him with my shoulder while he just chuckled.

"Shut up, ass, or next time I'll actually make it hurt."

 _ **~*0*0*0*0*~**_

It was a few days later when Alec and Jace came running in my front door, both holding large envelopes and overflowing with enthusiasm. Large envelopes typically meant good news. I was confident that they would both be headed to their school of choice come fall.

"Hey, C! We both got letters from our first choice universities today and we wanted to open them with you. Did you get anything back from your first choice yet?" Alec asked. It still wasn't widely known that Harvard was where I had my heart set on. I felt guilty about that but I would've felt worse if the whole world knew and I didn't get in. I couldn't handle that.

"No, nothing yet but I'm excited to hear what happened with you guys. Cornell and Yale, right?" They both nodded. "Well, don't just fucking stand there. Open the damn envelopes. Let's see those acceptance letters."

We all made our way to the kitchen and sat down at the island before they ripped open the only thing that was standing between them and their futures. Alec happened to get his open first and made a noise so loud, I was surprised he didn't shatter the windows.

"I got in. I fucking got in. I _am_ going to Cornell University. I _am_ going to become an Engineer. I _am_ going to someday marry Magnus and we're going to live happily ever after." I jumped on Alec, wrapping my legs around him and we hugged each other so tight that neither one of us could hardly breathe. He put me back down and my initial happiness faded to momentary sadness before returning to my usual blank stare but of course, being my best friend for years, Alec caught it. "Oh, C. No matter where you end up, we'll see each other all the time. We'll fly back and forth as often as we can and there will always be holidays which will never be spent apart. Don't worry."

"I know, I'm just being dumb. Don't sweat it." I kissed Alec softly and gave him a genuine smile before grabbing his hands. "Congratulations. I am so proud of you."

"Thank you." He smiled back.

"Yeah, Congrats, Alec."

"Thanks, Jace," Alec said to his brother. He looked back to me.

"Alright, I had to tell you first but I have to head to Mags' house so I can go tell him. I love you."

"Love you too," I said as I kissed him again. He grabbed his packet and headed for the door. "Congratulations, Jace," we heard him yell from the front entrance. Jace yelled back "thanks" and continued to read his letter. I was trying to be patient but it felt like he'd been staring at it for an hour.

"Anyway, Jace. What about you? You're staring at that letter like it's in Chinese. It's good news, right?"

"I'm going to Yale," he whispered so quietly I almost couldn't hear him. "I can't believe I'm going to Yale." He picked me up and his lips were on mine before I knew what hit me. I was too shocked to react so I was just frozen while Jace assaulted my mouth. He must've realized that I was sort of hanging there like a limp doll because he abruptly dropped me to the ground, making sure I had my footing before letting me go. He had a slight blush to his cheeks which was something you just didn't see from Jace. "Sorry, I got excited. I didn't mean…I'm sorry if I…It won't happen ag-"

"It's okay, Jace. Stop stumbling over your words like a jackass. If I wanted to put you on your ass, I could've. You just surprised me is all. Let's just move on." I hugged him and whispered congratulations before pulling back.

I went to work and baked a giant cake for the both of them, Jace licking the batter from the bowl after I got it in the oven. We decided we would go out on the weekend to celebrate. A couple hours later, after Jace and I had finished our homework, he left and I couldn't help the grin on my face when I thought about how excited I was for my friends. They had both been accepted into their dream schools and their futures looked bright.

I finished putting the dishes away in the dishwasher and grabbed the carefully hidden envelope that I'd placed behind the couch cushion, sitting down to open it. It was smaller in size than the ones the boys had brought over with them and I was pretty sure I knew what it said. Upon reading the letter, I had to bite my lip to hold back the sob that wanted to escape.

I knew getting into Harvard was a long shot. I knew I'd have to work harder at it than I ever worked for anything in my life and I thought I had. My GPA was stellar. I had a ridiculous number of extracurriculars throughout my two and a half years of high school. I had twelve letters of recommendation from teachers and staff. I thought I was golden. I guess I was being stupid because even though I had done a lot in that time frame, it was still only two and a half years and most other people applying would've had three and a half by the time their applications were up for consideration. I thought the fact that I had done so much in such a short time would've been a benefit though, not a hindrance.

I felt pretty down and definitely looked it when Jon came in about ten minutes later. I hid the letter but obviously wasn't quick enough for him not to at least catch that I had previously been holding a piece of paper and then it was gone. He put me in a headlock, which was not the move I was anticipating and grabbed the letter from behind my back. He took what felt like forever to read it. I felt exposed somehow because Jon had known where he was going to school since he was a Sophomore. He'd gotten a full ride to the University of Alabama when he became the starting Quarterback of the Varsity team. We'd never had the talk about where I wanted to go to school though. Not for lack of trying on Jon's part but I didn't want to talk about my dreams out loud to anyone who had any expectation of me because then they'd be disappointed if they didn't work out. I couldn't be the disappointment. I didn't want to fill those shoes for anybody ever again.

Jon looked up and said, "You applied to Harvard? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't get in, Jon."

"That's not what I asked."

"I didn't want you to see me fail. I didn't want to have another thing that you felt like you had to worry about if I did. I'm fine. It's just deferment. I still have a shot." I snatched the correspondence from his hand and started to walk away.

"Hey," he said, getting up and pulling me into his arms. "You are the most important person in the world to me. Don't feel like you have to hide things from me because you're worried that I'll have to take care of you. That's my job and I'm sorry that I ever made you feel like it wasn't." He squeezed me tighter for a moment before turning me around and looking into my face. "You are the most intelligent person I know. You are beautiful, funny, kind, talented and so many more adjectives that dumb jocks like me just don't have," I smacked him upside his head. He was anything but a dumb jock and he knew it but I appreciated the effort in trying to cheer me up. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yeah, I know. I'm not a dumb jock. Regardless, Harvard is crazy if they don't take you, C. You're gonna be great someday. I know it." I threw my arms around him. That was exactly what I needed in that moment and he gave it to me. "I have an idea. Let's go have ice cream before dinner because we're adults and we can do what the hell we want. We can go to that handmade ice cream place you like so much. I think I have a craving for Banana Chocolate Stracciatella, how about you?"

I really did mean what I'd said to Jon. I would be okay. The letter only said that I hadn't been chosen for Early Action. I'd only been deferred. I still had a chance to get in if I could add more to my file and make significant developments in my high school career. I knew I had A's in all my classes and was earning college credit for AP English. Plus, I would be taking Independent Spanish next semester and would be a Teaching Assistant in Art. Hopefully, that kind of schedule, along with a potential medal at World's and putting in more volunteer hours, including picking up tutoring again, would also help to increase my odds of getting in. That would mean I'd be short on free time for a while but it would be worth it if it got me into Harvard. What I did have time for though, was ice cream with my brother. I just had to mess with him a little bit first.

"You do know it's actually freezing outside, right?"

"Who cares? It's never too cold for ice cream. Especially if you buy it in pints and bring it back to your nice warm house and eat it there," he laughed. I shook my head even though I fully agreed.

"Alright, Jon. Let's go get some ice cream. I've driving."

"Psshh, no shit. You're always driving," he said, throwing me my keys before putting on his jacket and a hat. I donned my slouchy beanie, hoodie and peacoat before jumping on Jon's back and rode him like a mighty steed out the door.

He smiled at me as we buckled ourselves into The Executioner and I smiled back. I realized in that moment that sometimes, all you needed to get you through, was your brother. Jon was my shelter in the storm, my light in the dark, and when I needed him to, I could always rely on him to bring me home.

 _ **Sorry if these are wrong but I used Google Translate.**_

 _ **Spanish Translations:**_

 _ **No. Quería besar la mano de la bella mujer que recientemente me llamó la atención = No. I wanted to kiss the hand of the beautiful woman who has so recently caught my eye**_

 _ **¡Mierda! Puedo morir como una mujer feliz = holy shit! I can die a happy woman**_

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